Everybody thinks they’re a comedian.
What people don’t know about comedians is that there is a lot of failure in the rehearsals leading up to their on-stage performances for a crowd.
Not every bit is gonna land well.
Case in point…
Redditor Wthrowaway566 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for telling my husband he exaggerated when he said my kids ruined his daughter’s birthday?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Last week was my stepdaughter’s (SD) 14th birthday.”
“She was in the hospital days prior for a medical issue, and now she’s better.”
“My husband threw her a small birthday party.”
“Unbeknowest to me, my boys (16) and (12) decided to pull a funny prank and mess with the birthday cake that they made for her.”
“Instead of adding icing on the cake, they added mayonnaise.”
“It didn’t go well, and my SD’s reaction was to cry.”
“My husband blew up at the boys for what they did, but they said they were just trying to prank her since it’s the norm and they always prank each other.”
“My husband said it was the wrong time to do this on her birthday especially after getting out of the hospital.”
“He told the boys they ruined her birthday, but I told him he exaggerated with this statement.”
“He got upset and yelled at me for defending this behavior and being an enabler.”
“I don’t think I am because the boys love her that’s why they act like this, but my husband was having none of it.”
“Both he and SD aren’t speaking to me nor the boys.”
“AITA for saying he exaggerated?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“Let me rephrase that: ‘AITA for telling my husband he exaggerated for calling my boys bullies who ruined his recovering daughter’s birthday?'”
“Duh…YTA. times a million.” ~ cleanDice77
“RULE OF THUMB…”
“When you ‘show love’ to people, they don’t generally get reduced to crying…”
“That’s a REAL easy way to know you owe someone an apology.”
“YTA, but you can take this opportunity to help shape your sons into better men!”
“Best of luck.” ~ Ecstatic-Increase447
“Right! And IF you’re going to pull a prank like that.”
“They should’ve had an even more impressive backup/the real cake to give her immediately!”
“What they did is just cruel. YTA.” ~ Jstbkuz
“I love this response.”
“I don’t think either parent handled it well.”
“The brothers may have realized they messed up as soon as she started to cry, but people tend to get defensive when they’re yelled at.”
“OP downplayed their behavior when her response should have been to tell them exactly what you said here.” ~ villannn27
“The key difference between a prank and a cruel joke is even the victims of pranks can find them amusing, after a short while.”
“I have friends who are pranksters, and they’re always pulling amusing pranks like, say, putting ridiculous items in our shopping cart when we’re going around the store.”
“Even OP’s sons seemed to realize they crossed a line with OP’s stepdaughter.”
“Or at least I hope that’s why they’re not speaking to OP.” ~ bmyst70
“Yea this! It is giving ‘boys will be boys’ and ‘he only hits you cuz he likes you.'”
“As a mom of 4 boys who also love to prank and razz each other for fun (we all do in our family) part of that whole thing is knowing when it is appropriate and when it isn’t.”
“You never go for hurtful.”
“If they had made a cupcake with the prank and then surprise her with a proper cake that is one thing, but it was her birthday cake, they pranked her by ruining the one treat you should be able to count on every year.”
“YTA and if you don’t teach your boys the difference between a ‘prank’ and ‘teasing’ and abusive behavior and gaslighting (which you are doing to your husband and stepdaughter) not only are they in for a rude awakening in life, but you will have failed as a parent.”
“They pranked her, it went wrong, they need to apologize.”
“Until you and they do, YTA.” ~ NeverIncorrectBanana
“Like seriously this is the best one really describing what would have been an acceptable ‘prank’ (cupcake and then have an actual good cake) as well as timing.”
“Even if it was with the best intentions… OP your boys destroyed the cake.”
“Straight up.”
“Even if everyone laughed… there would literally be no cake for anyone.”
“Something that is sorta important for a birthday celebration.”
“Timing is to not do it after getting home from the hospital.”
“So yes they need to apologize profusely but also so do you OP.”
“You went into defensive mode instead of actually taking in what your boys did and the impact it caused.”
“Intentions don’t negate the consequences of our actions.”
“You proved to your S[tep]D[aughter] and husband that you will always defend and never give consequences nor hold your boys accountable.”
“They made their stepsister cry and so yes they need to rectify it as do you.” ~ H2Ogrl86
“This was my thought.”
“If they had a second cake it would count as a cake.”
‘Ruining the cake is just bullying. OP YTA.” ~ No-Map672
“Right! It is amazing that OP doesn’t see how she is enabling her two little bullies and feeding into their behavior because she isn’t making them face consequences!”
“She and her little bundles of non-joy need to go get the step-daughter another cake and apologize!”
“It is clear that OP has rose-colored glasses on and thinks her kids are just being ‘funny’ when they clearly are not!”
“The stepdaughter had been in the hospital.”
“Why would changing her cake frosting to mayo be considered cute or funny during such a sensitive time?”
“OP is either clueless, or she just doesn’t care.”
“Totally YTA!” ~ PunIntended1234
“This! It’s not just they pranked her, they turned a sweet gesture into something unkind.”
“If there had been an immediate second cake the party could have been salvaged with an apology.”
“But even with the second cake, there would be a breach of trust.”
“My personal rule of pranks is “confuse don’t abuse,” and this leans toward abuse. YTA.” ~library_lemur
“YTA. You’re teaching your boys abuse is ok if they say it’s out of love.”
“A prank is only ok if everyone finds it funny.”
“Stop enabling them.” ~ jaded_angel85
“YTA. I would say that if the birthday girl is crying, that’s a pretty clear sign that the birthday has been ruined.”
“I notice that there is no mention of having a real cake ready to go as soon as the prank was revealed.” ~ BlueRFR3100
“My parents are all sorts of ::gestures wildly::…”
“But they absolutely tried to blend our families well and co-parent effectively and if someone missed the mark unintentionally called us on it.”
“’I get you’re trying to include them, but this wasn’t kind.'”
“They weren’t perfect, but they demonstrably tried to be neutral to whose kids were whose when considering the impact on any single child.”
“And for me, there were 9 between my parents and both my step-parents kids.”
“Wasn’t always done well, but an attempt was made. I can’t recall ever feeling like unfair choices were based on whose kids it was.”
“Not to say there wasn’t some bullsh*t along the way… but nothing this cut and dry.”
“YTA. Do better.” ~ champagnesomersaults
“Is it just me that I have a problem with how she is saying my boys and his daughter?”
“Y’all are married!!”
“I hope that’s not the way y’all refer to them to their faces, S[hake] M[y] H[ead]. YTA.” ~ Nicoleboymom2
“YTA. You don’t get to decide how much a person is upset by a prank.”
“You are minimizing your boys behavior and making excuses. Be better.” ~ Harry7411
“A prank is essentially bullying if it’s made at the expense of someone.”
“It would have ruined my birthday too.”
“She’s not wrong for not finding it funny or being upset.”
“They’re wrong for making her birthday about them and not her; and OP you’re wrong for not teaching them the difference. YTA.” ~ aruariandances
“YTA. She just got out of the hospital, and it’s her birthday.”
“Unless there was a real cake with real frosting also, this was cruel.”
“And you were defending their actions instead of disciplining them or telling them why what they did was wrong.”
“Once she started crying, the day was ruined.”
“That’s when it stopped being a ‘fun’ prank or joke, and became a problem.”
“Get your children’s behavior under control!” ~ StevieB85
“A prank is only a prank when everyone laughs.”
“When someone (especially little girls who just got out of the hospital) starts crying, it stops being a prank and instead enters the realm of cruelty and bullying.”
“YTA and your kids are a**holes.”
“You three seriously need to apologize and start thinking of a way to make this up to your stepdaughter.” ~ dainty_dryad
“YTA. That’s not a funny prank to pull on a birthday of a girl who just got out of the hospital.”
“I also don’t think it’s an exaggeration that the prank ruined her day.”
“Also, I see where your kids get their sense of right and wrong, based on your reaction.” ~ stuffed_sebastian
Well OP, sounds like Reddit isn’t thrilled with you and the boys either.
Most jokes and pranks rely on timing.
And the timing may have been a bit off here.
Maybe apologies will help… and perhaps another cake with proper frosting this time.