Redditor PaperBackWriter00 is a man who married a woman who was a non-American citizen.
His parents were always opposed to their union ever since he and “Sonya” started dating because they assumed she was using him to attain citizenship.
The Redditor and his wife currently have a child, but his parents are no longer in the picture because of an incident that brought them to the brink of estrangement.
He visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for not letting my parents into my son’s life after they secretly tested his DNA?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I met my wife Sonya at a restaurant where she worked as a waitress. It took me a while to finally be her boyfriend.”
“I introduced her to my parents and they voiced out their disapproval after meeting her. My parents think that Sonya is only using me to achieve her American dream.”
“I told them that is racist and I am very offended by their assumption.”
“After my wife accepted my marriage proposal, we asked for both our family’s blessing. Her parents were happy for us but my parents were gutted and refused to give their blessing.”
“Because of this we decided to elope and only invited my brother and Sonya’s bestfriends to be our witnesses.”
“Long story short, now that we’re 2 years married and after we welcomed our first child, my parents started to reach out to us.”
“My kindhearted wife didn’t think twice to welcome my parents into our lives. She let them meet our baby 2 days after being discharged from the hospital.”
“My parents visit us regularly and one day while dad and mom are playing with Garreth mom said something along the lines of ‘aren’t you the cutest baby ever? I am so glad to confirm you are indeed my grandson.'”
“She didn’t know I was around because she looked startled when I said ‘what does that supposed to mean?’ Mom tried to change the subject but I insisted she tell me what she’s talking about.”
“Mom sat me down and apologized first before telling me that they had Garreth’s DNA tested to make sure that he’s mine.”
“I was speechless for a moment and before I blew up from anger I told dad to give me my son and they better leave before I lose whatever respect I had left for them.”
“My mom was very apologetic and said it’s because they don’t trust my wife and that our son looks nothing like me. I didn’t argue anymore and told them to get out of my house.”
“My wife was in the kitchen preparing for lunch and told her my parents had an emergency that’s why they left without saying a word. I didn’t tell my wife about the whole DNA test thing until after two weeks when she asked why mom and dad didn’t visit anymore.”
“I told her everything as I know I cannot keep a secret from her. She started crying and it broke my heart. I know how much she tried to win my parents’ approval and what I told her was like a slap across her face.”
“That night she told me that she can no longer let my parents into our child’s life and I agreed with her.”
“When mom called to ask when they can visit again, I told them they are no longer welcome in our son’s life.”
“Mom called my dad and I told him the same thing. He was livid, he called me ungrateful and cruel. He also said a few choice words about my wife which angered me more.”
“I didn’t even hear the rest because I just hung up. Did I overreact? AITA?”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole for standing his ground and had no problem mincing words when it came to criticizing his parents.
“NTA! Your parents are racist and your son is better off without them.” – 8daysAweek143
“Exactly! OP, how could you possibly be the AH in this situation?”
“Your parents didn’t believe your child was yours because they’re racist and don’t like your wife. You don’t need people like that in your life. NTA” – junimocats
“NTA. Your job here is to back up your wife. They are a**holes. You’re doing fine.” – eaca02124
“NTA and to all of you saying that you should not deprive your child of a relationship with his grandparents:”
“They are openly racist towards his wife/ the mother of this child. They will make remarks about that, they will make him feel bad about his heritage and will talk badly about his mother even when he is there.”
“Dont let them into your life, stay your ground.” – DW_Wishmaster
“Not to mention the fact that they tested the child’s DNA without the consent of either parent! The audacity and entitlement of some ‘adults’ continues to baffle me.”
“NTA. Not even a little bit. Not even at all. So very sorry that you have had to go through this experience with your own parents.”
“But also very glad that your wife and son know, without a doubt, that they are your number one priority.” – sjholmes2012
“OP is so far from being the asshole that you’d need a sherpa to find him.”
“Well done for standing by your new family, OP. They need your protection from your horrible parents – and good on you for putting them first.” – avesthasnosleeves
“NTA. Your parents never blessed you marriage, they made their distain and racism for your wife well known, and they only wanted back in your life when they had a grandson to dote over.” – pyrotequila85
“NTA what is actually wrong with your parents?? Like I get they don’t approve of your wife because clearly they are racists.”
“But to check your child’s DNA because he ‘doesn’t look like you’ is ridiculous. You dodged a massive disapproving bullet by cutting them out.”
“Protect your wife and son they are your family not your parents.” – Ginger_brit93
Overall, Redditors had no qualms in calling out the parents’ racism, and commenters agreed the OP was far from being the a**hole in this situation for taking a stand against his parents.