If you take daily medication at a certain time, is rude to quietly take your pill at the dinner table? Or should you excuse yourself?
Does the answer somehow change if the medication you take at the same time every day is birth control?
A Reddit user going by “bc-throwaway-pills” found herself at odds with her boyfriend and his family after they accused her of “showing off” by taking her pill at the table rather than excusing herself.
Was she really the one in the wrong in this situation? She asked the AITA (“Am I The A**hole?”) subReddit for their judgment.
“AITA for taking my birth control in front of my boyfriend’s family?”
Before we get into Reddit’s responses, let’s talk about how AITA works.
The original poster (OP) shares their tale as a post. Other users cast their votes in the comments, usually taking time to explain why they’re voting that way.
These are the voting options:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Here is OP’s story:
“This happened over the weekend. My bf and I were having dinner at his parent’s house for his sister’s birthday. It was us, his parents, sister, sister’s son, younger brother, and grandmother.”
“Every day at 8PM I take by birth control. I’m on the pill and have been for almost 2 years and I try very hard to be consistent with my time.”
“My purse (where I keep my pills) was on the back of my chair. I grabbed the blister pack and popped one out and took it with my drink.”
“I was sitting between my boyfriend and his sister. She thought I was getting gum or a mint and asked what flavor, so I showed her the pill pack and she gave the “oh” and nodded.”
“I didn’t think anyone else noticed, but my boyfriend apparently did and so did his mom. When we got home he told me it was embarrassing that I took my pills at the table in front of his entire family.”
“He said his mom pulled him aside and asked him to make sure I act better next time cause I shouldn’t have been “showing off” my contraceptive like I did and should have excused myself.”
“I told him that leaving the table all together with my purse would have been even more noticeable and everyone at the table (sans his 4 year old nephew) was an adult and should get over it.”
“He’s acting like I announced to everyone I needed to take my pill. His family is pretty conservative but this is ridiculous even by their standards and I told him so.”
“My boyfriend said it’s a “respect” thing so I should behave better next time. I told him if I need to take my birth control (which benefits HIM too) I’m gonna do it without hiding in some back room like a leper.”
“Apparently I’m being childish and taking it too personally. Am I the asshole here or are they being as crazy as I think?”
She asked for Reddits judgment, and she absolutely got it.
“NTA. I hate when people think of birth control as some kind of sexual thing.”
“I’m a virgin and I take birth control. For all they know, you have a medical need for it and like any other medication it needs to be taken at the same time every day.” – Ask_Aspie
“NTA and I don’t know if it’s just me, but the whole “behave better” and “it’s disrespectful” was incredibly insulting. Very sexist sounding.”
“It’s just a birth control pill, it’s your body and the fact they want to police what happens to it and they find taking important medication as “poor behavior” and somehow insulting is gross.” – Torkip
“NTA. I take my pill at 9pm everyday. As soon as my phone alarms go I stop everything and take that pill.”
“It’s medication – no one would bat an eye if it was pain killers. If your boyfriend has an issue with it he can take full responsibility for birth control in future.” – poolswithoutladders
“Oral birth control efficacy goes down significantly if you don’t take it at the same time every day. If he has an issue with her doing what she needs to do to make sure it’s effective, then he can wear condoms every time.”
“Though I’d just dump him, if it were me. NTA.” – RuralJuror1234
“NTA. Your boyfriend needs to grow the f*ck up and his family needs to get over it.”
“They wouldn’t ask you to take an aspirin away from them, where no one can see you. Birth control shouldn’t be any different.”
“Next time excuse yourself at 7:30 and go home. When they ask why, tell them that you need to administer time sensitive medication and since they have delicate constitutions you thought it best to cut your evening short to administer it home alone, in the dark with doors shut and locked. Where only God can see you.”
“Or just dump your a**hole boyfriend. Problem solved.” – rose_glass
“NTA, I don’t understand why people make such big deals out of little things.”
“You took a pill at a table, you didn’t start waving it about shouting about your birth control. You didn’t bring up a conversation about your sex life.”
“You just didn’t leave the room to take a pill. I think the more you try and hide these things the more you make them a bigger deal than they are.”
“These people need to grow the f*ck up and stop being so awkward about normal things. Would they have gotten annoyed if you’d taken any other medication that you needed to take?”
“How would they know if you might take birth control for reasons other than contraception (either way it doesn’t matter there’s nothing wrong with taking it). They’re trying to shame you for being so open about it.”
“Don’t apologise, you weren’t disrespectful.” – liltiddies
“NTA, but that was tacky. I’d say the same thing if it was your blood pressure medication or an ibuprofen.”
“Absent a medical emergency, it’s weird to pop out some medicine and take it during the middle of dinner. You excuse yourself and take your pill in the kitchen or bathroom, or take it right before or after the meal.” – Numerous_Minute_1048
” ‘…asked him to make sure I act better next time’ “
“This could be me being dramatic but EXCUSE ME? Am I the only one deeply disturbed by this line????”
“Like you’re not a dog – you’re his GIRLFRIEND. You’re a human who can do her own thing!”
“This could lead to her demanding that he “reign” you in instead of respecting your opinions (don’t know if that’s the right word)…. major red flags… also they need to get the f*ck over themselves.”
“Maybe at the next diner announce that you need to go to the washroom in order to take your birth control since the family can’t handle seeing it themselves! That is if there even is another dinner.”
“NTA” – CreepyDoll17
Well Reddit certainly made their opinion clear, but we want to know what you think. Sound off.