Relationship “tests” are the sort of thing lots of people think of as immature and insecure when someone does it to their partner.
But what about when someone outside of the relationship decides to “test” someone in a relationship by aggressively flirting with them?
A Reddit user going by “testingsister” to protect her identity has found herself at odds with her family after her younger sister decided to “test” her boyfriend during their first meeting. To make it worse, her parents see no problems with the younger siblings little test!
She asked the AITA (“Am I The A**hole?”) to weigh in on the situation after her family acted like nothing inappropriate happened.
Before we get into the dysfunctional family fun, let’s talk about the subReddit. AITA is devoted to those moments in life where you’re not entirely sure who was right.
People share their stories as post. Other Reddit users respond to the original poster (OP) in the comments as they cast their votes.
Voting options are as follows:
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
So let’s get back to the story.
“I(21f) have a boyfriend(22m) who is super awesome and I love him. We’ve been dating for two years and starting to get serious so we decided to meet each other’s parental units.”
“We went to my parents last week and we’re going to stay for a few days. We didn’t.”
“My sister(18) was all on him and in his personal space. She’s already a touchy person but this was making him uncomfortable.”
“He kept telling her no and to stop doing what she’s doing. She kept doing it so we stayed for dinner and left the next morning.”
“My sister texted me when we left and said ‘Well he’s pretty loyal.’ ”
“I asked her, ‘what?’ And she said he was testing him for me.”
“I hate when I read stories of people testing their partners so I told him, ‘Hey! My sister tried testing you. I didn’t tell her to do it.’ ”
“Luckily he responded, ‘I know.’ So that’s good.”
“I was angry with her and told my parents who said they saw no problem with it.”
“I told them that I won’t bring my boyfriend for Christmas since they saw no problem with my sister making him uncomfortable. They told me to stop being a b*tch about it.”
“AITA for being mad at my sister and telling my parents I won’t bring him? They liked him I just have a problem with them now.”
Reddit was horrified.
“NTA – What you sister did was gross and your parents are out of line for backing her up. I’m sure that’s going to make every family gathering he attends uncomfortable for him going forward.” – SammyLoops1
“NTA. I find what she was not only rude but totally disrespectful to you and your boyfriend. She was basically saying she doesn’t trust your judgement to pick out a mate that will be faithful to you and not cheat.”
“If my daughter ever did that to anyone she would be getting a rude reality check. Plus after having to be on guard all day just to meet your family why would you want to bring him again on day that’s about relaxing and enjoying your family and friends?”
“Neither of you would be able to relax not knowing what else your sister might try and knowing your parents won’t do anything about her behaviour. Curious how she would react if tables were turned.” – cdnbordergirl
“NTA. If they bring this up again just cut where it hurts.”
“Stoop as low as ya can and tell you sister and family ‘I really wish you didn’t do that and I felt it was completely unnecessary. Frankly, it made us uncomfortable. However, I do realize you have done so out of a place of care for me. For that alone, I thank you.’ “
” ‘However, I still believe that if testing him was your intent, your methodology is rather flawed. In order to tempt him, you must place something attractive in front of him.’ ”
” ‘You wouldn’t go winning a child over with chores and homework; you use candy and video games. The key is that the alternative choice has to appear at least somewhat attractive.’ “
” ‘Nonetheless, merry Christmas and a happy new year.’ ” – AITANoViolence58
“Your sister wasn’t ‘testing’ your BF, she was sexually harassing him.” – Clare_not_a_bear
“NTA. Your sister relentlessly sexually harassing a person who has come into her home as a guest is indefensible, and your parents are both a**holes and bad hosts for backing her up here.”
“Also, the ‘just a test’ excuse is 100% bullsh*t. Your sister was harassing your boyfriend because she wanted to, and the so-called ‘test’ was a post hoc explanation once she determined he wasn’t going to magically switch his affections to her.”
“Maybe I’m projecting because I’ve known a few people like this, but she sounds like the kind of person who takes other people’s relationships as a challenge and likes to boost her own ego by trying to get positive attention from other people’s partners.” – Father-Son-HolyToast
“NTA- Your sister was 100% inappropriate both to you and him. Your parents are wrong to back it up.”
“Should she start slapping him next to see if he’ll hit a woman? Should she poop her pants to see if he can change a baby?” – thatonepersoniam
“If you have never asked her to do this in the past, and you never hinted that you were worried that he would wander, I don’t think this started out as testing him.”
“It’s a strong possibility that your sister was either trying to seduce your boyfriend for herself, or sabotage your relationship. Because she failed, and thought you or BF might have noticed, she disguised it after the fact as trying to ‘test’ him for you.”
“Even if she HAD been doing this as some weird type of sister-code situation, it’s bananas. I agree with you, women who test their men have bigger issues to deal with. You either trust them or you don’t.”
“Setting up a trap, snooping on their phone, all of those are things that spouses do to get proof for a better divorce settlement. Sounds like your sister was looking to break y’all up.”
“You’re wise to keep your distance. Because she either wants to break you up, or have him for herself. And her behavior will only escalate because your parents seem ok with it.” – notsoaveragesister
“NTA. Tell your family that bringing him home to meet them was a test – a test to see if they could behave like decent people; and they failed.” – naughtyzoot
It’s clear Reddit was absolutely not OK with anything that happened with OP’s family, but you don’t need to worry about her. She mentioned in the comments she goes to college eight states away from home and has essentially no contact.
The happy couple will be spending the holidays with his family, not hers.