It should go without saying, but there are some things you just don’t do at a wedding. You probably shouldn’t run off with either the bride or the groom. You probably shouldn’t start a fight or show up with a firearm. And you probably shouldn’t tell the newlyweds in your wedding toast that you’ve taken bets on when they’ll get divorced.
We know what you’re thinking:
Wait, but the last time I went to a wedding, I showed up packing heat and got drunk and messy as hell and I still didn’t do something that dumb!
Well, kudos. Be glad you didn’t do anything stupid. Also, be glad you didn’t bear witness to the speech of the best man at this wedding.
That best man went to Reddit, actually, where he spoke about the whole thing.
He says he “feels bad” about the experience.
And he says he thought it would make for a “charming” anecdote:
When I was explaining the bet during my best man speech that was how I was going to end, kind of with a charming/corny line that “But we all know none of us are going to be winning the bet, because you two will be together forever, so you can look forward to cashing in in 2041!”
Before I could even get to that part the bride started crying and the parents and bridesmaids and all that were almost yelling at me, and the groom (my best friend of decades) was furious.
No one was particularly happy that the bride and groom’s family and friends took part in the wager.
He says he feels certain the bride and groom will “look back and laugh” on this one day, but that no one really wants to deal with him:
“I keep trying to explain this but my friend isn’t hearing it, especially when I told him that I still had to follow up with whoever “wins” on the off-chance they do get divorced. But I really doubt they’d ever get divorced,” he wrote.
“I know I went about it the wrong way but I don’t feel I was the A here, but I want to see what reddit thinks.”
You can read the whole thing for yourself below:
And yes, as you’ve probably guessed, Reddit wasn’t too pleased with this guy either. (For reference, “YTA” means: “You’re the assh*le.” SHP means: “Sh*tpost.”)
“YTA or SHP. Why would you ever make a public speech at a wedding about when everyone thinks the bride and groom will be divorced? They could not care less about cashing in $3000 in 2041, sounds like you just ruined their wedding by being an inconsiderate asshole.”
“This is somehow even worse than it initially sounded. YTA.”
Would you go to a baby shower and bet what year the child will die? No. This is a HUGE life event for anyone, and you ruined it by humiliating the bride and groom. I hope this is a shi*tpost, because no one over the age of 12 would think this is appropriate.”
“YTA. That’s such a sh*tty thing to do at someone’s wedding, and the fact that so many people participated is trashy. I’d be heartbroken if that happened to me, and tbh I’d cut out any that participated in it. I wouldn’t want that kind of negativity to what’s supposed to be one of the happiest moments in your life. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“YTA. Think about this. Everyone who participated in that bet legitimately thinks that there is a point that they will divorce and is thinking about that on. Their. Wedding. Day. How was that supposed to make them feel?”
I don’t think I’d have found this funny after eighteen months of increasingly intensive Wedding Bullshit leading up to The Big Day. The amount of time, energy and money that goes into formal weddings is stupendous, and the best gift you can give a couple on their wedding day – especially the bride, who has probably done a lot of the work – is a day where nothing major goes wrong. And, for a couple on their wedding day, anything that gets in the way of the military-style planning they’ve brought to bear in organizing all this shit is likely to count. Wedding days are a really bad time to be trying to fit in spontaneous fun you haven’t cleared with the couple first.
All this is before you take into account that your deviation off-script involved literally taking monetary bets on how long the marriage will last, and to add insult to injury allowed the last bet to be sometime in 2040. So, 21 years later. This might have been funny and cute if the time span had been laughably short, perhaps leaning on famously short-lived celebrity marriages, thus guaranteeing them the $3,000 as an extra gift in say, six months. This couple, though, are going to have the spectre of your little wedding-day joke hanging over their marriage for TWENTY-ONE ARSING YEARS, along with the knowledge that a lot of people they invited to an event that quite literally celebrated their relationship and symbolized their desire to spend their lives together don’t think that relationship will last. Of course they both feel betrayed.
Getting up and slapping both bride and groom in the face in lieu of a speech would have hurt them much less than what you just did. If you’re not a troll you just lost a friend, because I honestly don’t know if this situation is salvageable. If your friend and his wife forgive you, they’re far better people than me.”
Don’t do this at weddings, people. Don’t do this, period. Just… be an adult and drink and dance and be happy for the couple, okay?
It’s that easy.