Crowds attend the opening of the world's biggest Primark store in Birmingham. (Photo by Aaron Chown/PA Images via Getty Images)
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Someone Found A Human Bone In A New Pair Of Socks And That’s Not Terrifying Or Anything

Let’s put it this way: When you go shopping in a store for clothing, you might expect to run into inconsiderate people or long lines at checkout or even for the item you came looking for to be out of stock. You certainly don’t go into a store expecting to find a human bone in a brand new pair of socks.

YES.

YES. THIS HAPPENED.

According to Essex police who responded to a call in the town of Colchester, a customer found a piece of human bone in a pair of socks while shopping at the local Primark. Authorities said the bone did “not appear be a result of recent trauma and had no skin or other particles surrounding it,” adding that they are not certain of the age or origin of the bone.

Here’s the kicker: The socks were purchased on December 10, but their owner didn’t report the grim discovery to Essex Police until January 2.

“We are liaising with the store who, in turn, are speaking to their suppliers for more information on this incident. Inquiries are ongoing,” said a police spokesperson.

A spokesperson for Primark also issued an apology, and suggested that the “bone” in question might be part of a hoax.

“Primark clearly takes this matter very seriously and has already carried out an investigation at our supplier’s factory where the socks were made. No evidence of any kind exists to suggest that any incident has occurred in the factory, so it is highly probable that this object was placed in the socks by an individual for unknown reasons,” the spokesperson said.

“Primark has been the subject of isolated incidents in the past which have subsequently been found to have been hoaxes,” they added. “The factory has been used by other retailers and subject of many audits over many years. Primark sincerely apologises to the customer who found the item for any distress caused.”

BUT STILL.

There’s a headline you don’t see every day.

This person doesn’t seem too shocked by the find, though:

This person just wants to be left alone, guys.

We see what they did there.

Great minds think alike, apparently.

Let’s hope it’s fake––because people have sick senses of humor, okay?––but if it’s not… that sound you heard? Yeah, that’s just us upchucking.