Some people really could make a profession out of having to pull their foot out of their mouth.
Like this guy, who was talking to his girlfriend about her cousin’s previous career in the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Though Redditor throwRio245 meant to suggest one thing, he wound up saying something completely different.
After seeing how angry his girlfriend was, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he was wrong for saying anything.
“AITA for saying my girlfriend’s cousin missed her chance to marry rich, since she no longer does modeling and is older?”
His girlfriend’s cousin had a pretty interesting life.
“My girlfriend has a cousin whom used to model and basically lived in New York, and would actually travel to all these exotic locations.”
“She has shown my girlfriend stuff where she was out in boats with celebrities football players. I thought it was pretty cool.”
“She is now in her late 20s and I think her modeling career is basically over, and a lot of that crazy life is over, she doesn’t get invited to those parties like she used to, she told my girlfriend and me this.”
“She now works a regular job in HR.”
The OP was reflecting with his girlfriend about her cousin’s life.
“I was talking with my girlfriend about it and mentioned to her that it’s kind of crazy that she missed her chance to marry rich.”
“Like she went from partying with football players to now dating Dave from accounting that drives a preowned BMW.”
The OP was surprised at his girlfriend’s reaction to this.
“I didn’t think of it as a mean statement, just found it crazy.”
“But my girlfriend just got offended and really perceived it in the worst possible light. That I was saying she was only valuable for her youth, that her job was to trade her looks for a rich man.”
“I didn’t see it in that way at all, it’s just more so going from the highlife to being an average person.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said it was really gross the OP assumed she just wanted money.
“YTA. There’s more to life than money.” – 7hurricanes
“YTA – you also put all men (at least ones with money) into one box, that all they care about are looks.”
“Plenty of wealthy men are married to non-model type women. And isn’t there more to a relationship than his financial status? You have a warped, sexist, and antiquated outlook on life, OP.” – Portie_lover
“LMAO SERIOUSLY. I got with my bf before he had a job, he now has quite a good salary. When we got together it had nothing to do with looks or money & everything to do with our friendship & care for each other.”
“Looks [and] money have little to no bearing on a healthy relationship (as long as you’re self-sufficient).” – JemmaBearDabDab
“Why even say something like that? Why assume she even wants to marry rich? Maybe after all the time she spent around rich people she figured out that they’re kinda jerks and it wasn’t worth it?”
“Also, yeah, your comment did basically sound like you were assuming that she’s now ‘past her prime’ in her, gasp! late 20s. What an old hag.” – badb-crow
“YTA. If you’d meant it was crazy that she’d gone from traveling the world and partying with famous people to working a regular job, that’s what you would have said.”
“‘She missed her chance to marry rich’ focusses on only one very narrow, shallow, and cynical aspect of her change in career.” – phyrestorm999
Others disagreed with the OP’s definition of “older.”
“Older?????? OP, she’s in her freakin 20s!!!”
“YTA YTA YTA” – innocentbi-stander
“I bet OPs cousin didn’t care about marrying rich, Also late 20s isn’t that old lol.” – TifaYuhara
“The worst part is she is still in her 20s. [Her] looks are far from gone.” – IamNoOne
“You’re acting like she’s some old maid, she’s in her late twenties. If marrying rich were important to her, she’s still capable of doing that. Likely she prefers her life now. Not everyone wants to live the high life, some of us do prefer the more modest lifestyle.” – Nixie_D
“YTA, but mostly because your comment reveals something about your worldview (which is a**holy), rather than because of the comment itself.”
“Like, firstly you’re falsely assuming that women who marry rich luck out or have better lives than average people (tell that to Nicole Brown!).”
“Secondly, your comment does seem to imply that once a woman ages, they’re just kind of f**ked and have no value left.”
“I actually don’t think suggesting she’s old or unattractive is that bad though – I mean, everyone gets old. I think the bad part comes from suggesting unattractive women [have less] value as people.” – fork4k
A few hoped the OP’s girlfriend would reevaluate their relationship.
“I hope this prompts OP’s girlfriend to re-examine this relationship.” – MidwestNormal
“I hope so as well. He’s calling her an old maid while still in her 20s. That just shows what he thinks of her as well.” – IamNoOne
“A preowned BMW?”
“Do you feel qualified to talk about this woman’s qualities or ‘value’? To judge what is important in her life for happiness or what she might, or could want?”
“YTA BTW for treating her like some two-dimensional throwaway who couldn’t have anything else to offer the world than her looks.”
“Good luck when the inevitable happens.” – Jennyther
“Just a guess here, but part of the reason your girlfriend was p**sed is because those comments indicate that you think of her cousin as a prize, desirable, deserving the best, and also that you think it’s more important to be hot, rich, famous, and living a life that others envy.”
“That’s pretty weird and uncomfortable to hear from your boyfriend.”
“YTA. Who cares what her cousin does.” – tryingharder2021
“You may not have intended your comment to mean that her cousin’s life is worse than it was, or that she is less valuable than she was, but it is very easy to hear it that way.”
“Apologize and explain that what you said was totally out of line. You did not have ill intentions and that is the important thing.” – CanadianBACON95
This subReddit seems to be in agreement on this one, as the majority told the OP either to worry about his own life instead or to think about what’s really important.
The OP should probably wait to put his foot in his mouth until after talking to his girlfriend, though.