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Guy Livid At Girlfriend For Not Reminding Him To Buy Wedding Gift After He Called Her A ‘Nag’

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Some people are really terrible at preparing for events and keeping all of the details straight.

Having someone in their life who will help them with that should be appreciated.

But one woman felt the exact opposite of appreciation on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

Redditor throwra020551 had attempted to help her boyfriend, she was ridiculed by him.

But when the big day arrived and he wasn’t prepared, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was wrong for not insisting on helping him.

She asked the sub:

“AITA for not reminding my boyfriend to buy his best friend a wedding gift?”

The OP’s boyfriend struggled to remember the details of his best friend’s wedding. 

So my (22 [female] ) bf (boyfriend) of 4 years, Jack (23 [male] ), has a best friend named Jimmy.”

“They have been friends since kindergarten. Jimmy is getting married tomorrow (literally today as it’s after midnight, on a Wednesday). We have known this for a year.”

“Jack has asked me at least 6 times what date the wedding is on.”

When the OP tried to help her boyfriend, he ridiculed her instead. 

“I had to remind him to buy clothes, (he isn’t in the wedding party for some reason) make the hotel reservation, take time off of work, etc.”

“I also had been reminding him periodically to go onto Jimmy’s wedding registry and buy a gift.”

“The last time I told Jack, ‘Hey, you should check the registry out,’ he called me a nag.”

“He told me I need to stop acting like his mom, and he will do things on his own time.”

“So I’m like, okay.”

Since the OP stopped helping, the event started backfiring on the boyfriend.

“That was over a month ago. I’ve never said anything again.”

“He also still never got clothes for the wedding, AND he didn’t request the day off when I told him to, so now he just has to call out of work and risk a write-up.”

“Before I came to bed, Jack started freaking out to me and telling me that Jimmy is gonna hate him because all of the wedding registry stuff has been purchased except for a couple of dumb little things, but as his best friend, he will be expecting something better than the leftovers.”

“He also is now upset about missing work without notice.”

“And he has to find time to get to the mall to buy clothes tomorrow before we leave, and pull cash out for a cash gift all before 10 AM, so we can get to the venue.”

“Good thing I made the hotel reservation!”

The boyfriend then questioned why the OP didn’t help him.

“Jack asks why I didn’t remind him of these things last week.”

“And I said because he called me a nag.”

“So now, I guess I’m being petty? Idk (I don’t know), what do you guys think?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some were very clear on why Jack was not the best man. 

“Yeah, twenty years of friendship and he’s not the Best Man or even a groomsman?”

“OP, his best friend can’t even trust him to front up on the most important day of his life.”Readingreddit12345


“Also, I think I know why he isn’t in the wedding party.”Just_Murdoch

“It’s obvious that Jimmy knows he can’t count on him for anything.”Radiant_Brain_9822

“Ugh. That was literally my ex Jack. People weren’t shy about it either, and they’d frame it nicely but when they’d talk about strengths in the groups they’d be like.”

“Dang John you’re so good at cooking thanks for dinner! Thanks Matt you’re always so on oj top of dishes.”

“And jack! You’re uh, really fun to have around.”_be_better

Others sympathized with the OP for trying to help in the first place. 

“I’m sorry, I’m unable to write an appropriate comment here because my blood pressure has spiked so high it’s affecting my vision.”

“Why didn’t you remind me? WhY DiDn’T you RemINd ME?”

“Argh. ARGH! NTA”elsewhere

“it’s a red flag. My ex once ruined vacation because I didnt pack his clothing for him so he had no dress shoes. Despite knowing for weeks we had reservations at a nice restaurant. I dont care about that except it resulting in him blaming and bullying me in front of my parents for 2 days.”wowhomie

“I would have said, ‘I didn’t remind you because it’s not my job to remember. As a favor I reminded you a few weeks ago, but you bit my head off for the trouble. Now you wonder why I didn’t volunteer for more grief? Why on earth should I? It’s your job to remember your friends’ family and girlfriend’s events and special days. It’s also not ok to take it out on me when you’re annoyed with yourself.'”Cardabella

“NTA, your BF is not a child and it’s not your responsibility to remind him to buy a gift for his best friend”sherrie2307

“This boils my blood too. Why are people like this? I’m so irritated for the OP, I can’t even find the right words.”

“NTA OP. Your boyfriend is A piece of work.”xLadySayax

“My own husband is TERRIBLE about remembering birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, etc. for his family members. We made a deal when we married that he dealt with that stuff for his family and I dealt with it for mine.”

“I had NO interest in being anyone’s social secretary and I made that clear.”

“That said, he often forgets or is late. His family gets low-key annoyed with ME for not reminding him. My own family tells me it’s my ‘job’ to remember all these things for both of us. Ummm, no. WTF?”

“If my husband is capable of running operations for a multi-million dollar company, surely he can remember his parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. If he doesn’t (and he didn’t in that case), that’s on him, not me. Been married 15 years now and I’m still holding my ground on that one.”HouseRenovations

Though it’s terrible to see that a lifelong best friend may not be celebrating his best friend’s wedding the way that he should, the subReddit agreed that was not the OP’s fault, but her boyfriend’s.

Hopefully, this will be a wake-up call for the boyfriend so he can realize he has a weakness for planning. Once he knows it’s a weakness, he can choose whether or not to work on it.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.