When a baby is on the way, everyone’s excited about all the details: what the nursery will look like, whether they’re expecting a boy or a girl, and of course, what the baby’s name will be.
But some of these decisions are bound to create some drama, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor duckxshoes was surprised when she discovered the name of her future niece or nephew and was concerned about how it would be received.
But when she got kicked out of a baby shower of all things, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she should have kept her feelings to herself.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my sister I hate the name she chose for her baby right before her baby shower?”
The OP found out her niece’s or nephew’s name right before the baby shower.
“Last week my sister (22 Female) had a baby shower and my family and I (20 Female) were there to help her set up and decorate.”
“Everything was going well, we were blowing up balloons and setting plates, etc.”
“That is until I saw a huge sign with the words ‘Strummer Azrael Quinn.'”
The OP shared her concerns with her sister.
“I was confused and asked my sister about it, and she told me it was the name she decided on for her baby.”
“I generally don’t care what parents name their kids, but we’re not celebrities, and as the child’s aunt, I thought I would try to save it the embarrassment.”
“I suggested maybe not putting up the sign and then taking time to think more about the name as a family.”
This got the OP kicked out of the shower.
“She got upset and said it was a perfectly fine name and she wanted the sign to be hung up.”
“My mom came over to see what the problem was, and after I explained the situation, she got mad at me for ‘creating problems’ and said it didn’t matter if I liked the name or not.”
“They told me to leave since I was ‘ruining her big day,’ and I haven’t spoken to my sister since.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some people thought everyone was in the wrong in this situation.
“I don’t think OP is the AH for advocating for her unborn nephew. F**k that mom, she’s making her child’s life harder with that s**tty name choice. NTA.” – max_lagomorph
“I mean, I wouldn’t want my sister to embarrass herself (cause f**king hell, NO ONE is going to think that’s a good name).”
“Looking out for her niece/nephew is kinda her job as family.”
“I mean like someone wouldn’t have said it.”
“Better to be told you are shit at name picking BEFORE you advertise the name to every person you love and they all get the weird look on their face and you have a breakdown at your shower – anyone that can keep a straight face when told that name is a bloody pro or a spy used to lying” – Delicate-Tulip
“Honestly, of all the people in my life, I expect my brother to be brutally honest with me if I’m being crazy. That’s what siblings are for.”
“Like it’s the one relationship in which we’ll always see eye to eye and be real, no matter the hurt feelings. I think a family shouldn’t feed into delusions in general though.” – Not_Obsessive
“If the mother can’t handle one person criticizing the name, then how does she expect the kid to live when every single day they’re going to be teased and bullied for having a stupid name.”
“Strumming means masturbation.”
“Azrael Is the angel of death.”
“The kid may as well be called Wank Reaper Cupcake.”
“NTA, OP.” – RandyLahey24
“ESH. Her for picking possibly the ugliest name ever, and for throwing her own baby shower. You for saying anything besides, ‘Oh, how… unique.'” – Unit-Healthy
“But then again they had a whole sign displaying the name so if OP didn’t suggest they put it down, convincing them to change the name after the baby shower would be harder as they had already introduced the baby as ‘Strummer’ and they would claim that it looks bad to change it after all that. (If everyone kept quiet in order to be polite, the parents might have even thought everyone liked the name.)”
“Even if OP managed to convince them to change it, some records/videos/photos from the baby shower would still be left for the kid to see in the future, and I can imagine it going something like “who tf is Strummer and why were you planning to name me that?” (at least that would be my reaction after learning something like that).”
“So was there ever a chance for a good timing if OP only learned about the name then..” – DancingZombie
“I’m going to go against the grain and say NTA. OP wasn’t rude about it and is genuinely concerned that her niece/nephew will be bullied for it. In Scotland, the child definitely would because of the finger blasting connotations…”
“If I was unknowingly naming my child a slang term for masturbation (I know they probably don’t know this), I’d want someone to jump in and try to gently talk me down.” – DaburaDemonQueen2
“Your sister is TA for picking such a stupid name for her kid. Honestly, some parents don’t think about their kids being actual human beings that have to live with the name. That poor kid is going to get picked on. Good on you for calling it out.”
“NTA.” – StarWars_Girl
“Throwing your own baby shower is pretty popular where I’m from afaik (USA, MI specifically) so I don’t know why she’d be TA for that, but the naming of her child is certainly a good reason. The OP isn’t though, someones gotta speak up for the person who’ll be stuck with said name.” – SweetPea-22
Others agreed there were serious issues with the baby’s name.
“I’m from Scotland and ‘strumming’ is a slang term for female masturbation soooo… Strummer is not the way to go for me.”
“Like, I guess technically ESH because you did it at the baby shower but like, someone had to say something and I wouldn’t have held my tongue either ..” – BeautifulNet5373
“I was wondering why they would name their daughter something akin to masturbation! Who knows, maybe their son can be Strokeit Gargamel Quinn?”
“ESH. I suppose we all need to tell you it’s not your business. But… I’m with you… Poor kiddo..” – Dull-Brilliant-4660
“It also means bringer of death. Like in the middle east, I think Azrael means the being who is responsible for taking the soul or smth. The equivalent of Hades, I guess.” – Hysteric_woman
“Strummer is the bad part of that name, in my opinion. I actually think both Azrael and Quinn are decent names. Plus, the kid doesn’t need 3 names. She’d by alright to drop the Strummer and just stick with Azrael Quinn.” – SevanIII
“Honestly that doesn’t even make it ESH because that was the first time she broadcasted the name. When else was she supposed to address the horrible name? After it was announced to all the friends and family?” – bayleebugs
“As someone’s who has had a ‘unique’ name all my life, I wish someone had stopped my dad from choosing it. To everyone saying it’s not your business, they’re technically right, but I’m sick of hearing about parents who choose names that their kids are going to bear the burden of.”
“It’s selfish to saddle a child with a name that opens them up to bullying (which will happen) and being alarmingly easily identifiable online (which leads to a higher instance of identity fraud, and also being stalked is a thousand times easier when you’re the only one in the country with your bizarre name).”
“It should be normalized that parents are called out on their terrible decisions. A child is a person, not a billboard for their parent’s narcissistic choices.” – Accomplished-Cheek59
“There is plenty of evidence that having an unusual name on a CV will affect a person’s job prospects. Who wants to hire an attorney named Strummer?”
“This odd name will affect this child their whole life. I wouldn’t be surprised if they change it when they’re old enough. That will be after 18 years of trauma until they’re old enough to petition the court for a name change.” – 58yfailure
The OP clearly had mixed feelings after getting kicked out of a baby shower for trying to express her concerns about her future niece or nephew.
While some could agree that the OP could have chosen a better time to discuss her concerns about the baby’s name than at the baby shower, they all could agree that the name chosen was problematic and did need to discussed before the baby was born.
Plus, kicking her own sister out of her baby shower over bringing up her concerns was a bit much.