On the rare occasions we patronize a business we happen to know a friend or family member works at, it’s hard not to expect a discount or latitude of some kind.
More often than not, they are extremely happy to do just that, up to the extent they are able.
However, this is something that they should always offer you, and should never be expected or requested.
Redditor Positive-Ad384 was a bit hesitant to provide her services for family members but did so, treating it as if it were any other job.
However, when these same family members asked the original poster (OP) for a sizable discount when she was midway through her work, the OP was not going to tolerate it.
Resulting in her taking somewhat drastic actions.
Worried. that she might not have behaved as professionally as she could have, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for dropping a child off because I was lied to about my pay?”
The OP explained how she refused to tolerate being taken advantage of by her family.
“I, 21 F[emale], work as a babysitter\nanny while I finish my credits for my early childhood education.”
“I’m very well known in my area and am professional, and have different ads for myself.”
“I get multiple jobs a week.”
“I don’t normally babysit for a family, but I agreed to a few days ago.”
“The child was 4, and with that age, I usually charge $15 an hour, $200 a day.”
“For this particular family member, I agreed to do it for $150 a day.”
“It was 2 hours in, and my relative told me she could only pay me $50-80 and that she hoped I understood.”
“I told her I didn’t understand because I told her upfront already, and that I even lowered my rate for her.”
“This is what I live off of, I missed out on other opportunities that would pay way more, so I can’t have her lowball me.”
“She began ignoring me, so I told her if she continued, I would drop her off at another relative’s.”
“She continued to ignore me, so I dropped her off at this relatives sisters house, who agreed to watch her.”
“Within a few minutes, I got a text saying how unprofessional I was, and how dare I do that, that she’s family and I was being extremely selfish.”
“This is how I make money for a living, and I gave her multiple warnings, and we agreed on a price beforehand.”
The OP was left to wonder.
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for leaving her babysitting charge mid-shift when her relatives tried to lowball her.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s relatives were indeed taking advantage of her, and she handled the situation perfectly.
“NTA.”
“If the customer is unwilling to pay the price, they don’t get the work.”
“You obviously cannot just abandon a child, but you didn’t do that–you took the child to a safe place and informed the parent immediately.”- warp-and-woof
“NTA.”
“Submit an actual formal invoice for the time you actually babysat and then mileage reimbursement for transporting the child to another relative.”
“Not sure if you have that kind of amount handy; my company reimburses 60¢ per mile driven, and you include the whole trip there and back.”
“Keep screenshots of the conversation where she agreed to the original $150 then tried to short-change you.”
“And don’t babysit for the family again… I’m sorry.”
“That sucks.”- FearNokk
“NTA.”
“Kudos to you for standing up to your a**holian relative.”
“She’s got a lot of nerve trying to pull that kind of bs.”
“I hope you let your whole family know so she can’t do it to anyone else – the whole ‘because family!’ excuse is such an obvious cloak for taking advantage…so gross.”- IamIrene
“NTA.”
“You handled this pretty maturely, considering the sheer arrogance your relative was showing.”
“Their attitude is astounding.”- Silansi
“NTA a million times over.”
“Hired a worker – pay the agreed upon rate.”
“Babysitters are workers just like any others.”
“Don’t have money?”
“Get money.”
“Sell stuff, borrow stuff – figure it out.”
“But pay you must.”- Pesec1
“NTA.”
“She lied to you and then tried to get you to be okay with paying less than you agreed upon.”
“She is the unprofessional one.”- champagneformyrealfr
“NTA.”
“She agreed to your original rate of $150.”
“She was the only one being ‘unprofessional’ by trying to blatantly cheat you into accepting a much lower amount.”- frogmuffins
“NTA.”
“But let this be a lesson to not work for/with family.”
“They’re usually the worst customers.”- UneducatedPotatoTato
“NTA.”
“You don’t hire someone for $150 then, halfway into the gig, tell her, ‘Oh no. I only have $50. Sucks for you, you’re family’.”- GroupOk3447
“Huge NTA.”
“You told her your rate and the discounted over you kindly have her.”
“She accepted that by dropping off the kid with you.”
“She absolutely does not get to decide what even bigger discount you must give her.”
“She’s very lucky you aren’t suing her for loss of income or defaulting on agreed payment.”
“She really is a huge AH.”- YouSayWotNow
“NTA.”
“This family member lied to you and then tried to manipulate you, which caused you to lose wages.”-manonaca
“NTA, she literally tried to rob you.”
“Do not let her talk to you this way.”
“What a jerk.”- WearyRelationship729
“NTA.”
“Also massive lol at ‘unprofessional’.”
“Professionals GET PAID.”- Middle_Note_6711
“NTA.”
“No pay, no sitting.”
“And yes, this is why people don’t sit for family.”
“Least you left the child in someone else’s care that you knew.”- shadow-foxe
“You made the right call.”
“She’ll do this as often as you let her – she was just trying to see how far she could flex on you to set up the next time.”
“You didn’t let her get away with it, so she’s upset, but at least now you know what to expect from her.”
“If this is how she treats professionals or family members, it’s probably not worth answering her calls.”
“Next time she asks you to babysit, you can demand the money upfront, or she can find someone else.”
“NTA.”- baka-tari
“NTA.”
“She’s in the wrong, knows that, and is trying to take advantage of you because you’re ‘family’.”-birchsaurus
“Definitely NTA.”
“She was taking advantage of you.”
“Family or not, that is not cool and not right.”
“If this is how you make a living, for her to try to screw you over like that is ridiculous.”-SpilledInk2022
“I think your relative is confusing ‘professional’ with ‘walk over.'”
“NTA.”- ohnosandpeople
“Absolutely NTA.”
“Another great example of why it’s dangerous to do business with family.”- grue2000
“NTA.”
“That’s a pretty big difference in pay.”- BuildingBridges23
“NTA.”
“She’s trying to take advantage of you because you’re family.”- guywastingtime
“NTA.”
“The child was safe the whole time, and the parent shouldn’t have expected you to work for less money than usual, much less work for even less money than originally promised.”
“It was unprofessional of them to not respond and deal with the situation.”- simpleirken
“NTA.”
“You were upfront with your rates, and you even gave a discount to your relative.”
“Which you didn’t have to do.”
“And she still chose to take advantage of you.”
“She should have been upfront that she couldn’t afford it.”
“And then to have the unmitigated gall to ignore you thinking you would just sit there and be used.”
“Glad you followed through with what you said you were going to.”
“What she did was wrong and underhanded.”
“OH!”
“And for her to be like.”
“‘Well, we are family.’ Clearly we weren’t that close if you were willing to lie and steal from me.”
“Wild.”- AsadPandaontheMoon
“Absolutely not the a**hole.”
“The person who lied is the a**hole.”
“Get your money.”- lipgloss_addict
“NTA.”
“Your relative was definitely trying to take advantage of you.”
“A sad reminder of why business transactions with family members are usually a bad idea.”-mysteresc
“NTA.”
“How dare she take advantage of you!”
“She’s using the ‘family’ card to screw you over.”- Suchafatfatcat
“I don’t think she ever intended to pay you what you asked, only what she wanted.”
“Never work for her again.”
“NTA.”- Heraonolympia123
“Nta.”
“No Money, no work.”- UfficioSinistri
“NTA at all.”- idontcare8587
“NTA family that uses you is not family.”- rexerfried
“NTA.”
“She was unprofessional first.”
“If she doesn’t have the money, she can tell you first, and then you can decide whether you do it for that even further reduced rate as a favor.”
“But she didn’t.”
“Seems to me like she tricked you and banked on you seeing it through anyway.”
“And yeah, maybe you were also unprofessional, I dunno.”
“But the child was cared for, and the other relative agreed to it.”
“I think you are fine.”
“You stood up for yourself.”
“And she can’t deal with that.”- nobodi64
If the OP’s family wanted her to do them a favor, then they should have asked for one upfront.
But they instead made a deal with the OP to partake in her services for her usual rates.
If they think her behavior is unprofessional, perhaps they should question if they would have done the same thing to a babysitter who wasn’t family.