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Apparently Tampon-Shaped Speakers Are Now A Thing So That Pregnant Women Can Let Their Fetuses Listen To Music

We’re doing this right off the top: Please stop sticking things in your vag that do not belong up there. This goes for jade eggs, oak galls, and now music speakers.

If you’re going to read this article after seeing that headline, you know exactly what you were getting into. Stop complaining.

So, yes, there is a new brand of music speaker, called BabyPod, meant to placed in your vagina. Why? So when you’re pregnant, your baby can hear the music better.

This makes sense, right?

This does not make sense. This is a bad idea.

BabyPod is like a speaker tampon. You connect it by an aux cord to your phone, position it in your hoochie, and start blasting that death metal directly in your baby’s ears nice and early.

You probably have many questions about this, and we will try to answer them all.

But the first one you maybe asking is, is this for real?

Yes. Yes it is. BabyPod is made by a Spanish company called Music In Baby. It is $150 and definitely not worth that price.

Ignoring where it’s meant to be placed, the tampon speaker is meant to be used for only 20 min, which is ridiculous. I got a Bluetooth speaker that gets five hours of battery for only $30.

Your next question may be, does this really help the baby?

While research is inconclusive about whether listening to music is helpful for the baby, there is no research about it improving when placed in your vagina.

Obviously, a pregnant person’s skin, and the placenta protecting the baby would interfere with that high quality sound you know your baby needs. But placing the speaker in your snatch is really only removing one layer at the cost of $150 and having to put a tampon speaker in your snatch.

You’re better off using some headphones on the belly, to be honest.

Lastly, is it safe?

If you’ve been pregnant, I certainly hope you’ve heard about not using a tampon during pregnancy. There is an increased risk of introducing bacteria near the cervix when you do so.

Your vagina has its own way of cleaning itself, and the cervix is good at blocking bacteria from reaching the placenta, but it’s not a perfect system.

So change that from a one time use tampon, to a multi-use electronic device, and you’re pretty much introducing an infection risk for little to no guaranteed benefit.

Let me reiterate this: Do not put a speaker in your vagina.

Music In Baby has claimed their studies show babies reacting to sounds from the device, but it’s very inconclusive. Additionally, outside medical researchers have not had a chance to conduct their own experiments to test its efficacy.

And if you want your baby to react to sound, you can talk to it. You can go with the old standby of placing headphones on your belly. Or even sleeker, less obtrusive version like this.

You have so many better options. This is not worth $150 and risking infection.

Please, do not do this.

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Written by Ben Acosta

Ben Acosta is an Arizona-based fiction author and freelance writer. In his free time, he critiques media and acts in local stage productions.