Redditor spinalcrapped met his girlfriend’s family for the first time during Easter, and it did not go well as he had hoped.
The drama unfolded after he found out what line of work his girlfriend’s sister was in after wondering why her face looked so familiar to him.
He and his girlfriend have been arguing ever since.
So, he visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for telling my girlfriend’s porn star sister that I recognized her face?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 9 months. Easter was the first time I met her parents and siblings. I also met her cousins and aunt.”
“I had seen pictures of her family before but when I got there, I noticed how different her sister looked in person. I kinda suspected she maybe had some work done.”
“That being said, she looked familiar. I tried to chalk it up to her looking slightly like my girlfriend, but they look nothing alike.”
“I met her brother and he seemed cool and got to know him, then I met her sister. When I met her, I asked her what she did for work. She said she was an actress.”
“I immediately thought that I must’ve seen her in something and that’s why I recognized her. I told her that I knew I recognized her face from somewhere and asked what she was in.”
“In that moment her brother let out a cackle. In the moment I was very confused but I guess now I see why it was so funny.”
“Her cousins also heard me say this and just started staring. Her sister said she does commercial work and then changed the subject. About 10 minutes later her brother pulls me aside to tell me, his sister is a pornstar.”
“He said that she went viral after one of her scenes was memed to hell. After that, Easter Sunday goes as planned and we leave out.”
“And while I’m driving back, my girlfriend gets pissed off at me. She tells me what her brother told me. Her sister does porn and she says she’s an actress as our older family members don’t know.”
“She said that I embarrassed her by saying to everyone that I have watched her sister getting plowed.”
“I told her that I probably recognized her from a meme, but she wasn’t having it. She was telling me that she doesn’t know when she’ll be able to show her face again and it was humiliating to have her boyfriend say that.”
“I explained that this isn’t on me. She should’ve warned me and I could not have possibly seen this coming.”
“We’ve been arguing about this since Sunday. AITA?”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
A majority of Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole in the situation.
“NTA this is funny as hell. I’m sorry, OP, I don’t mean to laugh but it is funny.”
“I’m 100% with you. Your girlfriend should have warned you. What someone does for work is a common talking point when first meeting new people. If they didn’t want you bringing it up, she could have said something and you wouldn’t have said a word.” – Clover_Jane
“I’ve been with my boyfriend for ten years and idk that I could pick his dick out of a line up unless they were all super super different. Luckily I recognise his face tho. Humans are super focused on recognising people by faces, even if the focus of the media they’re consuming is boobs and a**.”
“I’ve seen a tonne of perfect boobs and ass in porn but I couldn’t recognise one porn stars boobs from another. Some of their faces though…”
“All this to say, it’s not wrong that you thought that; it was funny. But I can see it.” – Queerysneery
“NTA – your GF should have warned you of topics that were off limits and that was definitely one of them. Regardless of if you watch porn or not, it’s BS that your GF is now judging you for having somehow seen her sister’s work, especially since it seems to be a well known fact amongst family that she was the subject of a viral meme.” – AvgHeight510
“NTA. That was an innocent response to someone saying that they’re an actor/actress that was completely avoidable had your gf given you a heads up.” – Key-Bit1208
“NTA. You weren’t able to place her, and she looked familiar to you. You had no way to place what you had seen her in.”
“And you didn’t know the fact that she’s a porn actress and that it was kept from the older relatives. So, you can hardly be blamed for this.”
“I mean, it’s not like you said, ‘Oh, my God! I almost didn’t recognize you wearing clothes and in a standing position!’ or something like that.” – TADoormat
“NTA, you’re right on all counts. There is no way that you could have seen this coming (pun not intended) without a warning from your gf. What she’s really mad about is that you’ve probably seen her sister nekkid and doing the deed.”
“Either she gets over it or not, but that’s a her problem.” – otternonsense7
“NTA. Ideally your girlfriend should’ve warned you in advance. Also even if you saw her in porn and not the meme… It’s not a crime to have watched some porn (or even to continue watching porn when in a relationship, but I know lots of people have different views on that).”
“Key thing here though is that you didn’t know. What should you have done differently based on the information you had at the time? You were perfectly polite.” – Queerysneery
“NTA. Like I don’t watch porn where I’d be able to recognise anyone’s face, but even I know what Riley Reid or that white girl surrounded by 5 guys looks like because memes of them went viral.”
“Same as that porn star Lana? who’s having a baby, I didn’t know who tf she was until she got pregnant and memes about her future babies life being hell came out.”
Y’all, I hear of some news through memes faster than international news broadcasts.
“If her memes went viral, yeah for sure there’s people saying ‘you look familiar’ even if they’ve never watched porn in their lives.”
“Sucks for your girlfriend, buts she got to come to terms that anyone slightly Internet addicted has probably seen her sisters face (at minimum) in passing. And she definitely should have given you the heads up like ‘hey my sisters a porn star that went viral, so don’t ask about her work or where you’ve seen her before.’”
“She could have saved herself the embarrassment by just getting ahead of the situation and being upfront about her sisters job.” – Summoning-Freaks
“NTA. Her brother said she went viral and there’s a good chance ( 😉) that’s where you saw her sister. Regardless, she should have told you beforehand if it was going to be embarrassing for her.”
“That said, if this has revealed a conflict (ie you ok with porn, her not) that’s something you need to discuss further. Otherwise, it’s not your fault her sister is in porn- if she’s embarrassed she should take that up with her sister.” – StunnedinTheSuburbs
“Bro, honestly NTA, you had no clue, and therefore your natural human instinct of curiosity got the best of you. A normal person would have done the same thing as you. Of course I wouldn’t say your gf isn’t wrong to be mad at you, but she also needs to know you aren’t responsible for learning info they could have just kept hidden from you.”
“If anything the brother is the blame for sharing sensitive information. You might have found out later if you see the memes and recognize her, but that’s better than your current situation. I’ll be praying for your days to get better and this sorted out.” – Mattysteel25
“NTA. All you said was that you recognized her from someplace. The rest came from your gf’s imagination.”
“She is absolutely to blame for not giving you a heads up. I have a feeling she’s gone through a lot of bf’s with this crap. Tell her that her sister’s profession is not on you nor is it your problem. You said nothing out of line.”
“If she thought something different that’s her problem. Either grow up and get over it or break up and she can keep repeating this pattern because of her own insecurities.” – MaryAnne0601
“NTA, this isn’t even close. If your GF is that insecure about her sister being a pornstar she should have given you fair warning before you met her. Especially if she considers it a secret/shameful.”
“Honestly, you should tell her you’re done arguing about it, you did nothing wrong and its on her. If she can’t get over it and accept this is her issue and not yours, cut bait and move on or you’re in for a lot more needless drama down the road.” – bonoboforscale
Overall, Redditors thought a little warning from the girlfriend would have helped the situation, but they certainly did not think the OP was in the wrong here.