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Bride Refuses To Invite Fiancé’s Cousin To Wedding Because He ‘Pees Everywhere’

Carlos Hernandez Suarez/EyeEm/GettyImages

When invited to a wedding, there is a sense of decorum expected.

People hope everyone will be on their best for a good time.

Or you at least people hope others will use a toilet when it’s time to pee.

The basics.

Case in point…

Redditor ThrowAwayPi**Boy247 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for telling my (31F) fiancé he (32M) can’t invite his cousin to our wedding because he pees everywhere?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My fiancée and I are planning a small wedding of about 20 people, mostly just our immediate family and closest friends.”

“He has a cousin, Jason (30 M[ale]), who he was close to growing up.”

“My fiancée used to live with Jason in a townhouse.”

“During that time, he caught Jason peeing in the kitchen sink, the bathtub, out the window (through the screen), and in the backyard.”

“He has even seen Jason on his security cameras peeing on the driveway.”

“Jason has absolutely no shame and will pee in front of people and in public.”

“His family has told me about a time they were eating lunch on a dock and Jason peed off the edge of the dock into the lake while the family was sitting maybe10 feet away.”

“He’s peed in front of his family on hikes and during road trips too.”

“Even when toilets are readily available, Jason chooses to piss wherever and whenever he wants.”

“I think he genuinely likes it when people say stuff like ‘Ew, Jason gross’ or ‘Why can’t you do that inside?'”

“It really feels like he loves the reaction he gets pissing in front of people.”

“That’s really the only reason that I can think of for why this grown man chooses to pee like a dog.”

“Our wedding is mostly outdoors.”

“If Jason pees outside and out in the open at my wedding, I might actually rip his *ick off while it’s still in his hands.”

“Honestly, I think Jason would ‘want’ to pee at my wedding for the reaction he would get and because he think it’s funny to tick people off.”

“I don’t want to worry about Jason peeing in front of my family on my wedding day or while I’m walking down the damn aisle.”

“My fiancée says he wants Jason there and he thinks if he asks him, he won’t pee outside (even though his family has asked him before and he did it anyways).”

“I just don’t trust him.”

“My fiancée told his mom that I didn’t want Jason at my wedding and she gave me a pretty hard time and asked me to reconsider.”

“So AITA for not wanting to invite my fiancés cousin to our wedding?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA – Jason clearly has a pee fetish and as you say gets pleasure from the reaction others have to it.”

“Start talking about him as a pervert and see how quickly his behavior becomes unacceptable to the family.”

“I wouldn’t cave in on this.”

“He will pee at the wedding.” ~ FMIEB

“I’d probably go with a pre-warning that if he were to be invited and choose to urinate anywhere other than a private restroom he would be filmed.”

“He would be photographed… evidence.. but equally you’ll have a photographer at the wedding anyway. Right!!”

“And he would be reported to the police.”

“Especially if children are present at the celebration.”

“Ensuring the appropriate members of the family know this is a solution of his attending up front.”

“With ZERO negotiation.”

“He either attendees and behaves, or doesn’t attend at all… because if he makes a mess/scene = police report for the disgusting behavior.”

“Congratulations on the forthcoming nuptials though.” ~ PennykettleDragons

“I just would stop the drama and tell the fiancée that this is a hard boundary.”

“Push me and I’ll call off the wedding.”

“Dude should be on a sex offender list.”

“I wouldn’t want the cops at wedding event no matter what.”

“It would ruin the memory.”

“If he does show up, leave.”

“You may loose money from the wedding, but you know you won’t be saddled with a spouse who doesn’t respect you.” ~ shortasalways

“Patronize him. Talk to him like you would with a three-year old.”

“Nice but resolute, in this Kindergarten teacher voice.”

‘Oh no Jason. You know we don’t do that here.'”

“‘Were you unable to find the bathrooms again? Poor sweetheart.'”

“‘There, there. No need to be upset.'”

“‘Look, at least you didn’t get your pants all wet, this time… Maybe we should switch back to diapers again, just for today…? You got this, champ!’ NTA.” ~ selkiesart

“NTA Tell anyone protesting that they must know that Jason does this for attention and it’s not normal.”

“Precisely because he does it for attention, he can’t be trusted not to do it at your wedding.”

“It would be a chance for his ‘act’ to be in the spotlight.”

“They should consider his deliberate lack of an invitation early attention given to his performance.”

“He’s already achieved his goal, so there’s no need for him to be there actually whipping it out on the day.”

“Surely that’s win-win.”

“Bottom line is if he can’t act with basic consideration for people this is the result.”

“Those who want to see his performance badly enough to come to bat for him with you can just arrange for a private showing and leave you out of it.” ~ jwjnthrowawaykfeiofj

“NTA. What the actual f**k is a 30 year old doing urinating in public?”

“Isn’t it indecent exposure or exposing himself to a minor if one is around?”

“I am dumbfounded.” ~ MadStorm24

“NTA. Even if you did agree to let him come, at this point you are hyper focused on it, and who wants to spend their wedding day ruminating about random urination?”

“I think it’s high time that there were some consequences attached to Jason’s peeing habit.”

“He needs to be accountable for the fact that it is his own behaviour that caused him to be excluded.”

“Better he be excluded from a wedding than be put on a sex offender register for exposing his penis in public.” ~ LoubyAnnoyed

“Get a can of bear mace, hire a guy to follow Jason with it with explicit instructions to bear mace Jason’s junk should it be exposed to sunlight.”

“It’s practically a wedding gift to yourself. NTA.”

“And if Jason doesn’t like ‘the joke’ of his bits suffering a chemical attack.”

“Inform him that if he calls the cops, you’ll inform them that he exposed himself within a certain distance of a daycare/school/playground… say this to him even if it’s not true, but maybe check Google maps before the wedding to confirm.”

“So he’ll maybe want to think twice before reporting it.”

“I like nuclear options though, and would burn bridges with my own shi**y family members for a single corn chip.” ~ Fit-Establishment219

“NTA, but don’t just stop at your wedding make sure you include your home.”

“His cousin has a fetish so clear boundaries/consequences are needed.”

“If he isn’t willing to get on board that’s a red flag.”

“His family is enabling this gross behavior.” ~ NickelPickle2018

“Not sure whether I’d trust fiancé’s family.”

“Jason is 30 and nobody in that family seems to have been concerned about his peeing habits.”

“And Jason has probably been doing it in other formal events.”

“I’d require more than trust in his family to agree to an invite. NTA.” ~ ziaVirgi

“NTA – I would if I were you show my fiancée and his mom this thread and make them read the comments.”

“I would have VERY serious concerns about marrying into a family that has allowed this deviant behaviour to go unchecked- that is as equally disturbing as the exposure and urinating.”

“This pervert would not go to my wedding or be at any event I ever attend.”

“If someone insisted Jason had to be at my wedding where he might whip it out in front of my family and friends and children?”

“Well, I’d call the wedding off without thinking twice.”

“No future husband of mine would want me subjected to a pervert nor would be friends with/enable a pervert. Yuck.” ~ Ok_Imagination_1107

“He’s proven time and time again that he doesn’t know how to act appropriately in social situations.”

“You have other guests that you owe it to to host appropriately and putting them in a situation where they could get peed on wouldn’t be the right thing to do.”

“Absolutely NTA.”

“It sounds like you aren’t inviting a lot of extended family anyway; use that as the excuse… or don’t.”

“Maybe if he realizes there are consequences for his actions which include not being invited to events any longer, he’ll start behaving better in the future.” ~ EvilSockLady

“NTA- This is so a fetish of some kind.”

“And he’s inflicting it on unsuspecting and non-consenting people.”

“You need to go no contact with him, because he’s using you for his own gratification and that’s not on.” ~ SJammie

“NTA .If he acts like a dog, he shouldn’t be invited to an event where people are expected to show human etiquette.”  ~ DreamingofRlyeh

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

Your trepidation is valid.

Hopefully this young man can tame himself and find a private place to go if he trust him to do so.