I’m Mexican. I know having the family over means loud music until at least 5 AM. But it can get exhausting when I have to wake up early the next day for work.
Redditor MsLadyAshleyBrett encountered this very issue with her mom. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
She asked:
“AITA for calling the police on my moms house party?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Okay I just really want to know if I am fucked up for what I did.”
“Last Saturday my mother had a 20+ person family party which I wanted no part in. Every time my family comes they are loud, play LOUD music, obnoxious, get belligerently drunk.”
“I am not even entirely sure if everyone is vaccinated. If you are a latin person, you know what kind of party I mean.”
“Anyway I’m in my room just trying to muffle the noise out with beats headphones and a tv show and it is still not muffling the sound out since my bedroom is right next to the back yard.”
“The party started at 5, it was 10 pm and I kindly asked my mom if she could tell everyone to go home soon. I work during the week, and naturally sleep early and rise early.”
“She proceeded to tell me, literally, to f*ck off, if I don’t like it to get out.”
“This really really hurt me for a variety of reasons. I’ve been helping her SO much through the pandemic. This just felt like the worst kind of betrayal.”
OP’s night kept getting worse.
“11 PM comes around, now might, now 1 AM… it goes on”
“I call the police now. At 1 AM at 2 AM and again at 3 AM. They show up all 3 times to a loud disgusting party with belligerent people and pretty much do absolutely nothing.”
“Partly lasts till 6 AM. I got 0 sleep. I just stayed up all night, crying, upset- whatever.”
“I wake up and go to the gym so I don’t fuck up my sleep schedule or blow up on my mother & stay up as long as I can that evening. The house was destroyed, outside and inside.”
“I was/am devastated.”
“My mom later checks our phone records and saw the police calls came from my phone, we are currently on AWFUL terms and I feel bad about it considering the rep police get now, but honestly that party gave me SEVERE anxiety and fucked up my entire Sunday which I spend prepping for the week.”
“I should note, I do help out financially, I am 24 work in corporate and saving until I can move out.”
“So… AITA? Did I overreact?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. you live there and should be considered.” ~ Agent_Ayru
“Inevitable conflict so gonna say NTAH.”
“Your mom should be allowed to have a party (assuming vaccinations) and you should be allowed to rest.”
“Still, calling the cops on your own family is not ideal, just because the fallout could be bad if they find out. Also, you might create larger problems for yourself if the police do take some kind of action.”
“Could you have arranged to find another place to stay during the party and for a day or two after the party, so that you do not get stuck cleaning?” ~ KarenOfRequirement
“Thanks for your response, I unfortunately could not due to hotels in New York being $200+”
“I had nowhere else to go.” ~ MsLadyAshleyBrett
“Yeah, that makes it hard. Hotels are always expensive but NY is nutty.
In the future, you should just try to stay out of the house for as much of the day as possible. Pack a sandwich and go to central park or prospect park or whatever is near you.”
“Also, find a good library (NYC has tons of great ones) to spend some quiet time in. Hang out at your gym. Or some combination of all of the above.”
“Try to avoid subjecting yourself to all 12 hours of the noise in the future.”
“AND buy some ‘Howard Leight’ brand earplugs on Amazon. Learn how to put them in properly (you really need to roll them tightly and then put then in your ear canal). I buy the laser lite’s because they are softer to sleep in.”
“Double up with noise-canceling over-the-ear headphones if you really need to.”
“Good luck, OP.” ~ KarenOfRequirement
“NTA I am latin as well and these family gathers literally make me want to f*cking die. I don’t think I would call the police, but luckily I don’t have anything important to do the next day this things happen.” ~ HardOnSlater
“Of course, this always happens… I understand you so well, every time me and my cousins make a group to basically b*tch about how much everything sucks. And these always occur at my grandpa’s house, if it was my own… I totally understand the breakdown, because they always trash everything, and get so f*cking drunk.” ~ HardOnSlater
Many were curious about OP’s financial situation.
“Do you pay rent? If so, stop. Save your money so you can move out ASAP. It’s her house so unfortunately you have to put up with it until you can get out. You can do this. Look for places with older roommates, etc.” ~ CJSinTX
“Everyone’s calling me a lazy POS for not giving her MORE money. I give her all I can, and saving as much as possible so I can GTFO.” ~ MsLadyAshleyBrett
“Stop giving her any since you have no rights there, what will they do, throw you out? Good! Sounds like you make good money and it wouldn’t take you long to save up. Start checking out rental ads, you may find one even cheaper than what you are paying now. Even a temp sublet would be better.” ~ CJSinTX
“If you’re paying rent then you should have some say on what goes on in the house. If they insist on bulldozing your very reasonable requests then you should withhold it. Maybe come up with a plan B first in case they really kick you out though, like a friend who wouldn’t mind hosting you for a couple weeks on their couch while you look for a place.” ~ insomniac29
Parties can get out of hand.