Music is something designed to be embraced by the masses.
It makes people feel and love life.
So how is it possible that music can be an issue in relationships?
Music. Sometimes the great divider.
Case in point…
Redditor dougig29 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for asking my girlfriend if she could play ‘more normal’ music at home?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My girlfriend has an… eclectic music taste that we had a big argument about last night.”
“We live together and have a great sound system in the shared areas of the house (kitchen, living room, dining room, etc.”
“And when I play music I usually put on an album or two to listen to, straight through.”
“My girlfriend likes to put on playlists, and last night she put on, in this order… I honestly just have to write out this playlist because it’s that crazy…”
“Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks (a very country song).”
“Then the Thiefing Magipe by Rossini (an intense classical music song).”
“Then Pink Rover by Scene Queen (a weird metal/pop mix).”
“Then Dangerous by Cascada (a 2000s pop song).”
“Then Dogma by KMFDM (this metal/electronic song with spoken word lyrics).”
“After that point, I asked her if she could just pick one playlist or album, or at least something more normal, and put it on because her music was kinda all over the place.”
“She said that she was playing a playlist she made, and that it was what she wanted to listen to when she was doing chores.”
“I, kinda joking around, but also a little annoyed, asked what kinda playlist it was, because it seemed unhinged.”
“She was like ‘uhh it’s my cleaning playlist?'”
“It’s just good music to get up and move around or dance to?”
“Like high energy stuff, you know?”
“I was like ‘there’s girly pop, classical music, and industrial noise in there though?'”
“And she was like ‘yeah that’s some of what I like?'”
“I asked her if she could put on something a little less chaotic and she said she was cleaning our kitchen, the least I could do is not talk s**t about her music tastes.”
“I was like ‘but you’ve gotta realize it’s a little out there, right?'”
“And she was like ‘Nah these are all bangers, why are you being such a d**k?'”
“‘I don’t talk crap when you wanna listen to the same 3 bands everyday.'”
“She was getting really annoyed with me so I dropped it, and she played another hour or so of honestly the most random playlist I’ve ever heard.”
“I feel kinda conflicted, because on one hand her music was weird AF and I feel like it’s just common courtesy to play stuff that’s at least kinda chill and could be background music in a shared space?”
“Instead of like the most intense or weird song from every genre possible.”
“But on the other hand, I kinda got the impression she doesn’t love my music either and just never said anything until I did.”
“AITA for asking my girlfriend to put something more normal on?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“YTA. Cleaner picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.” ~ RetroBibliotecaria
“Mine would have him spinning.”
“I alternate video game parody music with theological debates, Broadway showtunes, reddit readings, and Distractible.” ~ RazzRedcrest
“Same. I have about 60 days or more with of songs on just my playlist.”
“I have more songs, but some are more my S[ignificant] O[ther]s taste than mine.”
“I load it all up and hit shuffle.”
“I can go from Animaniacs to Mozart to Brad Paisley to Metallica to Riverdance to Weird Al to New Kids on the Block to Elvis to Avenue Q to Linkin Park in one go.”
“I love shuffle, you never know what you’re gonna get!” ~ aynber
“My late husband would call my transitions ‘train wrecks.'”
“Our children grew up with such an eclectic range of music, from Alice Cooper to Xzibit.”
“Hearing what they choose to listen to warms my heart.”
“YTA, OP. Let people enjoy life.” ~ LadyHavoc97
“Same here. I have devotional songs, hindustani classical, western classical, native language songs, gangster rap, 90s pop and dinky weird Bollywood pop in one playlist.”
“I love them all. YTA OP.” ~ Radkeyoo
“I could understand if he genuinely didn’t like the music (blue grass makes my skin crawl, techno gives me a headache).”
“But he doesn’t dislike the music.”
“Just the order it’s played in.”
“He needs to Get over that. YTA.” ~ StrangledInMoonlight
“Exactly. The G[irl]F[riend] was cleaning the house while the only thing OP was contributing was complaints.”
“OP, music is very subjective.”
“I find it ‘unhinged’ that you think the only ‘normal’ way to enjoy music is to listen to the same albums over and over and over and over again.”
“Also, you sound annoying AF since you kept picking and picking and picking at your GF.”
“The fact that your GF was cleaning but you chose to spend your time obsessing over her music choices and writing down every track to critique her also sounds ‘unhinged.'”
“Why not help her clean since you clearly had nothing else better to do?” ~ Electrical-Date-3951
“No, YTA here.”
“She has eclectic musical tastes, nothing wrong with that.”
“And she expressed it was helpful for her doing chores and energy FOR YOUR SHARED SPACE.”
“Don’t be insulting about it.” ~ WholeAd2742
“YTA. Dude, have you ever listened to the radio in the car – most channels will play an eclectic list.”
“Who the hell cares if the playlist is a bunch of unrelated songs strung together.”
“Music does not have to be listened to as one solid unit or one solid genre.”
“If you get to enjoy whatever music you want then she has the same right.”
“Don’t dictate what other people are allowed to listen to in a shared space.”
“She has just as much right to the sound system as you do.” ~ Suspicious_Lemon9960
“I’m gonna say this once so listen.”
“If she needs that music to motivate her to clean, then leave her alone.”
“And when she’s done cleaning, tell her how good the place looks and that you appreciate her.”
“If you can’t do that, then YTA.” ~ Lina_485
“YTA. She enjoys different music than you do, and she doesn’t give you s**t when your bands are on.”
“Who said that it’s common courtesy to play background music?”
“Some people really don’t like chill background music, and your GF wanted to listen to something that helped her get in the zone to be productive.”
“Chill background music doesn’t do that for some people.” ~ johnnydaboss123
“YTA for sure.”
“Wtf is is a ‘normal’ music taste?”
“It’s all subjective and what one person likes could be hated by the next.”
“You have no right to tell others that they have ‘weird’ or ‘chaotic’ tastes when yours are likely just as said adjectives.”
“Y’all could just put in earbuds/earplugs or whatever if it’s that bothersome.” ~ savage_Atlas
“Earbuds… exactly!”
“YTA, because you can you can have a mature conversation about when and where and what music is played in the shared spaces and come to an agreement that works for everyone without making it an insult.”
“You can even say that you don’t like the playlist because it is distracting when it switches genres so often without being insulting to her.”
“But if you get to veto her choices or relegate them to earbuds she gets to do the same to you.” ~ the_mysterious_she
“YTA. Post your garbage music taste so we can roast your preferences, too.” ~ Slyvester121
“YTA but I have a suggestion: why don’t you take over all the chores?”
“That way you won’t have to listen to your gf’s playlists while she’s cleaning.”
“Seriously, there is no violation involved when people mix genres of music.”
“You might need to loosen up a bit.” ~ ParsimoniousSalad
“Neurodivergent brain here, and music in the background is a big deal for me.”
“So I really get it if the music being played doesn’t work for you.”
“But what is also never going to work for you is trying to get it changed by making fun of the music and therefore the person playing the music.”
“And honestly, that’s what you were doing. You didn’t like her music and you made it abundantly clear.”
“And you’re probably right, she doesn’t like your music, but she wasn’t rude about it.”
“If it’s genuinely bothering you (and there are lots of reasons that could be the case) then you both need to come up with a considerate and non-judgemental compromise that works for you both.”
“A usual compromise is headphones.”
“But that has to be for both of you, not just one of you.”
“It’s not fair if one person gets to listen to it out loud if it bothers the other person.”
“Also, you didn’t try to understand her groupings and what made them work for her.”
“She probably would have loved if you at least were curious and interested instead of dismissive and judgemental.”
“YTA… but there’s still time to fix things, apologize for the way you handled it, and talk to her about a way for you both to enjoy your own music tastes without it being a problem.”
“And straight up ask her if she was ‘putting up’ with yours and just being kind and not saying anything.”
“And then if she was, thank her for doing what you failed to do and promise to be kinder to her in the future.” ~ Calemonium
Well OP Reddit isn’t with you here.
It maybe time for you to expand your musical horizons.
People like what they like.
Just like you like what you like.