We always hope our friendships will last forever.
But what are we supposed to do when a friend accuses us of trying to change who they are.
One teen girl was blindsided by one of these accusations, according to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit when her friend blew up over the teen’s family.
Redditor throwawayacc_80 was especially concerned when her friend began to spread rumors.
Because of all of this, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she had done something wrong.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for not telling people that I have gay dads?”
The OP was adopted at 14.
“I (16 [Female]) was adopted by gay dads two years ago.”
“My friends and I were having a fun Zoom chitchat when one of my dads came in to tell me that he was going out and my other dad was having an important Zoom meeting in the study so I cannot enter the study.”
“Now, we live in a relatively small town where almost everyone knows everyone and it is pretty well known that my dads adopted me two years ago.”
Her friend was surprised to discover the details of the adoption.
“One of my friends asked me if I had two dads, to which I replied yes, and she got angry at me for not informing her earlier.”
“She took offense to the fact that I didn’t tell her about how my dads were gay even though I knew that she was a Christian, and now she thinks I purposely hid that [piece] of information from her, knowing that she is a Christian.”
And now the friend is using the OP’s adoption against her.
“She is now spreading lies about how I tried to change her religion by hiding the fact that my dads were gay.”
“Most of the town knew the fact that my fathers were gay and therefore are not supporting her in these claims, so now she thinks that I am purposely plotting against her so that she becomes an outcast for just following her religion.”
“I mean, I knew that she was a Christian, but I know a lot of Christians that are okay with homosexuality, so I never thought of it as a big deal.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some pointed out the friend’s Christianity didn’t give her a right to be homophobic.
“NTA. You knew she was a Christian, you didn’t know she was a homophobe.” – Bozobozo111
“I really dont get some other Christians sometimes. Why would you blow it way out of proportion?”
“If you have a problem with it, treat it like any other sin. People swear and lie and disrespect their parents all the time and you dont give them hell for it?”
“Whenever a Christian is homophobic just remind them they are all sinners and its not their place to judge” – Timeforamunch
“She’s not a Christian. She’s a ‘Christian’. Especially as she’s openly lying to people about OP trying to change her religion.”
“I seem to recall God doesn’t take kindly to liars. She also seems to have forgotten the bits in the Bible about loving your neighbour and doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
“Not OPs fault that this girl didn’t know what the rest of the town already knew.”
“NTA for not telling her personally.” – Far_Administration41
“OP is NTA. As a Christian (and a Mennonite) being Christian means no judgement. No hate.”
“Accepting of others no matter their race, sexual orientation and just all around who they are.”
“Christians who are judgy are full of sh*t and use religion to cover their hate of things unlike them.” – trisserlee
“NTA. Your ‘friend’ is homophobic. You don’t owe her anything, wether it’s information about your family or to tolerate her bigotry.”
“She’s using religion as an excuse to be homophobic, as you said many Christians are not homophobes.”
“Take care of yourself and your dads and don’t waste any energy on this b*got.” – puckb93
Others agreed and said the friend didn’t know what “being Christian” really meant.
“Also I’m pretty sure a big thing in Christianity is loving thy neighbor. So she would be going against her religion more to be a bigot than actually accepting the fact two men can love each other and be parents.” – Kyliems1010”
“That’s the thing though, I’ve met actual Christians. This is not a Christian.” – loondenouth
“It’s one of the reasons that particularly vocal/aggressive Christians bother me. They’re more interested in telling everyone how wrong and hell bound they are, than they are living and loving their neighbors in Jesus’ image.”
“They give Christianity a bad name, they’re not spreading the Gospel, and they’re the reason that people turn away from the faith.” – Beep294
Some questioned the friend’s feelings of persecution.
“It boggles my mind how she thinks that OP’s parents sexual orientation will in any way ‘change her religion.’ Religion is a personal set of beliefs, but when she tries to push them on the town (or play the victim) it belies how many Christians cling to this myth that they are being persecuted.”
“No one persecuted them for adhering to their own faith, but instead for acting all self-righteous and pushing their beliefs on others. NTA, OP, and my advice is to let this classmate dig her own hole and simply stay out of it.” – Anonymotron42
“In the west, if some Christians feel persecuted, it’s usually because that individual or a small group of them act like AH’s.” – Lead-Forsaken
“God, this persecution complex routine is so infuriating.”
“No one’s persecuting you for being a Christian, John, they just don’t want to let you be an a**hole to LGBT people.” – GenderGambler
Though holding fast to our beliefs, whether they’re religiously-based or not, is important, the subReddit was sure it’s not a reason to mistreat someone.
If these two young women somehow salvage their relationship, it will be quite the miracle.