USA Today: Courtesy of Hauptzollamt Postsdam
in , ,

Airport Security Seizes Snake From Passenger After Noticing ‘Large Bulge’ In His Pants

People truly love their pets.

Some people just can’t stand to be away from their pets during the holidays.

Perhaps that’s why one man was arrested at the Berlin-Schönefeld Airport after being caught trying to sneak his pet boa constrictor onto a flight…

…in his pants.

The 43-year-old was reportedly searched after security officers noticed “a large bulge in his pants.”

German customs officers later issued a press release which said the snake was kept in a bag stuffed inside the man’s pants and tied with a cord.

According to the Washington Convention on the Protection of Cities, all imports and exports of boa constrictors must be declared (whether stuffed in pants or otherwise), but the passenger had no paperwork for the 15.75-inch python.

It was, sadly, confiscated.

The snake-smuggler will be made to pay a fine for his illegal pant-stuffing. The snake is now safe and sound at a rescue center in Brandenburg, Germany, where it’s surely more comfortable than it’s been in some…previous places.

Twitter couldn’t believe real life had teed them up so perfectly for a joke.

Perhaps the man thought the snake would be camouflaged down there?

Unfortunately, the man’s clever ruse did not pay off.

Surely the TSA does not want to be dealing with live boa constrictors…

It seems there’s only one man equipped to handle a job like this! 

So, unless you want a serious whoopin’ from Samuel L. Jackson, don’t try to hide your snake in your pants the next time you go to the airport.

It’s only going to end badly.

Avatar

Written by Collin Gossel

Collin Gossel is a writer and comedian living in Brooklyn, New York, but there are nights when he looks up at the stars and wistfully thinks to himself “there’s got to be more out there…” You can catch Collin improvising new musicals every Tuesday night at the Magnet Theater’s Musical Megawatt, or follow his unfiltered thoughts on Twitter and Instagram @CollinGossel.--