Toilet etiquette can be a pretty serious issue for some people, even among friends.
Keith Mounts, 46, was at a friend’s home in Hudson, Florida last week when the homeowner had the audacity to tell him to flush the toilet after using it.
Naturally, Mounts did what any of us would do:
threaten the homeowner with a machete.
Things definitely escalated quickly when someone didn't follow the rule of: If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down. ????????https://t.co/gW0esMTyum— FRANK 107.5 (@FRANKFMMAINE) August 29, 2019
According to a spokesperson for the Sheriff’s Office:
“The suspect didn’t flush and when the victim called him on it, the suspect threatened him with a machete.”
HAHAHAHA, I REMEMBER XD https://t.co/yUdOnsVatZ— Felix Kirby Ubas (@FelixKirbyUbas) August 29, 2019
The victim called the police, who soon arrived and found a machete belonging to Mounts in the front yard.
Coz Florida. https://t.co/zNDBYDJFpG— ???????????????????????????? (@LaLouveRK) August 28, 2019
Mounts claimed he was using the blade to defend himself, but police couldn’t determine what he was attempting to defend himself from.
Mounts couldn’t seem to think of anything either.
???? I don't know sounds reasonable https://t.co/qUe8yCm98c— RandomheroLabs (@Randomherolabs) August 28, 2019
He would later give investigators a written account of what happened from his perspective:
Was the suspects given reason for the incident literal or figurative? https://t.co/2gnS3SCp0a— Lawyer Staycie Sena (@srsena) August 29, 2019
Twitter was in stitches over the bizarre tale:
Although many people were clearly confused over what happened, thinking the machete wielder was the one asking for the flush rather than the one refusing to flush.
Okay, that one I can understand...— RedEchos (@DreddBolt) August 26, 2019
Man fails to flush toilet. Suddenly, machete [Florida] https://t.co/jzqSMSlyiS— JP Drake Enterprises (@JPDrakeEnt) August 29, 2019
Here's a #FloridaMan story for you. Keith Mounts pulled a machete on a guy who didn't flush the toilet. When arrested, Mounts told @PascoSheriff deputies "???????? happens." I guess he's got a point but... (or butt)... https://t.co/jIhPO7DGmp pic.twitter.com/co3EXrJh7I— Meredyth Censullo (@WFLAmeredyth) August 27, 2019
Mounts is now locked up in the county jail. His bail is posted at $5,000.
We pity his cellmates with that communal privy…
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