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Man Pleads Guilty To ‘Having Sex’ With A Pile Of Leaves In A Hotel Parking Lot

Michael Golsorkhi/Facebook

Loves knows no bounds. Even if it’s between a 26-year-old man and a very alluring pile of leaves.

According to the Manchester Evening News, Michael Golsorkhi of Stockport, England, was incredibly high on cannabis and cocaine when he did something he would come to regret.

Employees at the Premier Inn in Stockport were on the job when they noticed Golsorkhi “acting suspiciously” outside. One staffer told the courts:

[Then] we saw a white male with his trousers down and we could see his bum. There was nothing between me and this male. He was about a car length away from me and he appeared to be having sex.”

A quick examination of the scene quickly revealed something unexpected, however: he was thrusting into a loose pile of leaves…in full view of a nearby family restaurant. The witnesses’ statement continued.

“At one stage I shouted to him, ‘What are you doing, you dirty b*****d?’ and he then leapt up, pulled his trousers up and sat in the bushes.”

The police quickly arrived on the scene to find the hotel employees yelling at Golsorkhi, who about 10 minutes later emerged from the bushes.

“He gave no explanation for what he was doing. I was concerned for the hotel guests — there were children staying at the hotel.”

Neville Warburton, Golsorkhi’s lawyer, says his client has no recollection of the incident.

“Unsurprisingly, this is relating to some information that he took drugs ranging from cocaine to cannabis and alcohol. He cannot explain his behavior. He is entirely embarrassed about that.”

After pleading guilty, Golsorkhi was sentenced to a fine of about $158 and eight weeks in prison.

His judge, Edward Tasker, gave him sage parting words.

“Think about your life. Make sure you do go out and seek help. Unfortunately for you, it is you who have found yourself in this position.”

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Written by Collin Gossel

Collin Gossel is a writer and comedian living in Brooklyn, New York, but there are nights when he looks up at the stars and wistfully thinks to himself theres got to be more out there You can catch Collin improvising new musicals every Tuesday night at the Magnet Theaters Musical Megawatt, or follow his unfiltered thoughts on Twitter and Instagram @CollinGossel.--