Victims of sexual assault carry a burden heavy beyond many’s imaginations. Sometimes, all that a victim’s friends and family can do to help them recover is be present, loving and respectful… but even that proves too much for some people.
On the infamous subreddit “am I the a**hole?,” a Reddit user known as Calinylo00 posted her story, asking about whether she should break up with her boyfriend since he was raped as a child.
Without exception, every single person in the subreddit spoke out against calinylo00’s heartlessness.
“YTA, Do him a big favour and break up with him. Then hopefully he can get himself a nice girlfriend.”
“Imagine if he was in your shoes. You had been raped, and he wanted to break up with you because of it. Doesn’t sound so good now does it?”
“100% this. Not much more masculine and STRONG than being real and honest and vulnerable with someone. Her response is reprehensible. I’m a female survivor of rape and I had a dude do this to me and it was probably the most pathetic thing I’ve ever witnessed and spoke volumes about his shallowness. Made it easy to walk away for sure. This girl needs to go find a nice shallow guy.”
“This. You are the absolute worst kind of person. He trusted you enough to open up to you about his worst experience. You’re only human too and nobody can stop you from feeling this way but he deserves better than you. Somebody who is going to respect him for who he is. Do him a favor and make up some bullshit about why you’re breaking up with him so it doesn’t hurt him more mentally moving forward.”
“Seriously. You open up to someone you have feeling for, telling them something incredibly painful to explain…and their response is ‘ew’. That is gonna stick with him for a long time. Gonna make opening up again to a partner ever again difficult . If he doesn’t become so anxious he avoids relationships. Only saving grace for OP is that she is young.”
“YTA. Your view of him was shattered because he was the victim of an awful, traumatic experience? Boohoo. He was raped. I hope nobody ever has to show you the kindness your boyfriend needs from you right now.”
auberus tried to make the girlfriend understand the enormity of what her boyfriend was going through:
“YTA. Can you imagine what it would be like if you were the one telling him about being raped, and he reacted like you did? Do your poor boyfriend a favor and break up with him now, so that he doesn’t have to waste one more minute on someone so shallow and so heartless. It’s obvious that you’re more interested in his looks than you are in him as a person. He opened up about the darkest part of his life and shared it with you. Do you not realize how much trust he must feel for you in order to do that? Your response proves that you shouldn’t be dating anybody, not until you learn some empathy and some compassion. Break it off. You owe him that much. He deserves a chance to find a girl who actually deserves him. It’s very clear that you don’t.”
“Absolutely. This is devastating – as if he needs more mistreatment in his life. . OP, I’m saddened and horrified by your reaction. Being able to be vulnerable and discuss your deepest secrets should be a basic expectation in a loving relationship. There’s no doubt YTA. I hope at the very least you had the decency to ask permission before discussing such a highly sensitive issue with your friend. If not, YTA twice.”
It seems Calinylo00 has a lot of very heavy self-reflection to do. Hopefully, she’ll come out as a better person on the other side.