Most of us have a few weird renting stories under our belts: an odd neighbor, a frustrating front office, or a terrible roommate.
But one woman holds one of the creepier stories, according to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
According to Bluebeetlejuice_, her landlord wasn’t the best about recognizing boundaries.
But even so, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was wrong when she finally confronted her landlord about it.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for holding my ground against my landlord?”
The OP had regular issues with her landlord.
“I (25 [Female]) moved into my first apartment six months ago with two friends (26 [Male] & 24 [Male]) in the city. We signed a lease for a great 2nd floor apartment with all the perks – a bit dated, but the works.”
“The only catch was our landlord lives on the first floor, something to be seen as both a blessing and a curse.”
“She’s had ‘unexpected’ maintenance happen within our place a few times, has come in to do a ‘routine cleaning’ with her (random) cleaning staff I guess, and then told us that our bathroom is ‘dirty’ (which it isn’t, and I would admit it if that were the case).”
“So she’s been rather a thorn in our side since moving in, but I try to roll it off my back.”
But what just happened was the worst.
“Last night, one of my roommates had a new boyfriend sleep over. I woke up at 6am to a voice in the hallway and thought it happened to be the new beau.”
“An hour or so later, I woke for work, and one of my roommates said he awoke to a strange man who was in our living room this morning, who said that our landlord said he could use the upstairs apartment for privacy for some phone calls.”
“He was super nonchalant even after my roommate approached him, startled, and said he thought the place was vacant, though our apartment is very much lived in with food, a bar, etc.”
“He then made his way about his day and mentioned it to our landlord, who did nothing about it.”
“Apparently, there was a miscommunication with him [and] my landlord, and our door happened to be unlocked (I assume due to my roomie’s date, which was an honest mistake on his part) that can only be accessed through our main entry door, which was locked, so he made himself at home. We approached her that same day once our workday was over.”
The landlord was apathetic.
“She is taking no responsibility for this and blaming us for all that transpired since the door was unlocked.”
“I held my ground and simply said this was not OK and it is unfair to put the onus on us.”
“He couldn’t have gained access to our place without her intervention, and this whole situation is a violation of our privacy and safety.”
“AITA for standing my ground in this argument?”
The OP later clarified details about the unlocked door.
“Thank you for everyone’s input so far. My distress has been validated by so many of you.”
“To provide more clarity to those who have commented about the door being unlocked, our front entry door to our private stairwell was locked, and I went to bed the night before with our main upstairs apartment door locked as well.”
“My roommate didn’t lock that door when he entered later after I was asleep.”
“I recognize that we are jointly and separately responsible for all that transpires [and] that is not ok.”
“The man could not have entered our apartment without the landlord unlocking the downstairs door for him.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
A few were totally creeped out by this incident.
“NTA. That’s a bit creepy.”
“They are illegally entering your apartment for what sounds like non-emergency maintenance and need to give you proper notice that they need to gain access to your unit. And cleaning? That’s just weird, unless it’s included in your lease.”
“Put up hidden cameras in the entry area and also review your lease again. If they keep this up, you probably have a right to break your lease.” – slimfatgirl
“This goes so far beyond NTA and straight into WHAT THE F**K.”
“I actually think you (and your roommates) are hugely under-reacting to this. You woke up & an unknown man was in your apartment. As a woman in my 20s, this is one of the most frightening and dangerous scenarios I can think of.”
“The stuff about her coming in to clean is one thing, though still frustrating and improper.”
“You and your roommates need to learn your local tenancy laws, confront her as a unit (it will be easier for you to stay strong if you’re acting as a group), and avail yourself of legal recourse if this continues to be an issue.”
“I mean, even if it was a miscommunication on her part – a) why the f**k did he stick around when he could see the apt was clearly occupied?! b) she should be FALLING OVER HERSELF TO APOLOGIZE. The fact that she is not HORRIFIED by the results of her miscommunication says everything you need to know.”
“You SHOULD be stern, you should be angry, and you should learn everything about the legalities of the situation so you can demand it change (and failing that, so you can move out).” – whatincarnation56
Others agreed and said the OP was absolutely NTA.
“Unfortunately sometimes being ‘a b***h’ is necessary.”
“I once had a live-in landlady and because I was nice about a couple of hiccups we had, I found that she had started to take advantage and didn’t bother to inform me when she needed access to my room. After the next hiccup, I was very blunt about how the situation was not ok and she never took advantage again.”
“You’re not being a b***h, you’re just being assertive and that is 100% ok in this situation.” – Smarty-trousers
“NTA. I would absolutely freak out if a landlord allowed strangers in my apartment without my permission.”
“There surely has to be some agency to which you can report this. Something about privacy and safety within your own home.” – PolyesterAtrocity
Some also urged the OP to understand her rights as a tenant.
“NTA. This whole situation sounds like a huge violation of privacy. Not sure what renter’s rights are like where you live, but I would suggest getting familiar with those laws and maybe having a conversation with your landlady.” – softsunset101
“Also, next time this happens, don’t just tell them verbally. Text and/or email them to confirm you had a conversation, if any took place, and take screenshots of any text messages and email it to yourself. Document everything.” – slimfatgirl
Not to mention installing a security camera, in case something else happens.
“I’d install home security cameras as well; the next time landlord comes in &/or lets someone in, they could rob OP & her roommates blind.”
“You’d also have evidence.”
“Some security cameras automatically upload footage to your phone & iCloud when they ‘motion-sense’ something in your house. Alder Security allows you to pick a package deal of cameras/equipment for $50 a month (for 24 months) then you get to keep the equipment for good.”
“(I have Alder, cheaper than most Ring products but Alder still is super awesome. You can set up your security system to where you ‘lock’ it after you leave [with your phone]. If someone opens the front door before you unlock the system, the alarm will go off & police will automatically be called within a minute).” – ssnowangelz
“NTA- buy a ring camera (or a wifi camera) point it at the door, that way you have evidence if she pulls this again.”
“Then you can break the lease without being penalized” – DialPlumeria
Though we’re in the middle of a pandemic and moving could be more difficult than usual, some of the sub urged the OP to find somewhere more private to live.
But if she does elect to stay where she is, the sub was full of suggestions as to how to make her situation safer, for her and her roommates.