Most of us have at least one story to tell of someone taking advantage of us, whether emotionally or in some other way.
But fortunately, most of us can’t say that a family member scammed us out of our money, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor ineedtocalmdown1111 recently found himself the victim of this, and for a very alarming reason.
After being criticized by his family, though, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he did the right thing by speaking up.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my cousin’s fiancee that he scammed me in order to buy her a diamond ring, which resulted in the end of their relationship?”
The OP recently helped his cousin out.
“Four days ago, I received a call from my cousin, ‘Charles.'”
“He asked if he could borrow some amount because his girlfriend’s dog got into an accident and was in dire need of immediate surgery.”
“I’m a dog lover, and Charles sounded like he was panicking, so I was convinced easily.”
“I lent him 10,000 pesos (around $200), and that amount is no joke because I have to work for 5 days in order to earn that.”
But then the OP wondered what he was actually helping with.
“Then, yesterday, I met Charles’s fiancee at the mall while I was buying a new phone.”
“My first thought was to ask how her dog is. But then, I noticed that she’s carrying her dog with her.”
“The dog looked healthy, which left me confused, so I asked her about the accident, and even she was confused as well.”
“But she changed the topic right away by flexing her diamond ring.”
“Apparently, Charles proposed to her four days ago.”
“She said it was too sudden, and that the day before that, they had a really huge argument because Charles seemed to be evading the talk about their marriage.”
Then the OP realized what happened.
“And then it made sense to me. There was no dog accident.”
“Rather, Charles made up that story because he was desperate to buy her a diamond ring.”
“I was furious, because I hate it when people lie to me, so I told his fiancee about it – that Charles told me her dog got into an accident and I lent him $200 for the operation, which he probably used to buy her a diamond ring.”
“She was silent before she said her goodbye.”
The OP’s family did not take this well.
“Then earlier, Charles barged into our home, furious and looking for me.”
“He was mad because I told his fiancee that he scammed me, and then she broke up with him for good.”
“He’s blaming me for everything, especially since it was not confirmed whether or not he used my money to purchase the ring.”
“In my defense, I told him that even if he didn’t use my money to buy it, he still lied because the dog didn’t get into an accident.”
“Anyway, my mom sided with him, telling me that I should have at least confronted him first, rather than ruining a relationship and Charles’s reputation.”
“It’s late night here, but I can’t sleep because I’m still fuming in anger. It’s unfair that everyone seems to be blaming me for this break-up.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP’s reaction made total sense.
“NTA – Besides the fact that this lie by default makes him the a**hole, it’s completely understandable that you’d have asked about her dog and related what he told you about the accident.”
“Finding out that he lied to you, of course you would not have gotten more information from him, since everything he’d say would be completely unreliable.”
“Regardless of whether you intended to expose him or not, she would’ve put it together herself after learning he borrowed money for a surgery that never happened.” – HapaMari
“For 200$ I kinda doubt it’s even a real diamond either. If he didn’t want his ex-girlfriend to find out he’s a scammer, maybe he should consider not scamming people. Especially with a scam that collapsed in all of 2 seconds when you saw the perfectly healthy dog.” – hey-demons-its-me-ya
“Not to mention, how was he supposed to talk to Charles first? Walking in the mall, he sees the person whose dog’s surgery he just paid for – she’s even carrying the dog. There is nobody who wouldn’t ask after the dog’s health.”
“Once it’s out that the dog didn’t have an operation, and the girlfriend is standing there asking, ‘Wtf are you talking about?’, is OP supposed to say, ‘Hold that thought, I just need to go call my cousin in case I’m supposed to cover for the lie he told me’?” – laundryandb**wjobs
“If you listened to your mum and spoke to him first, it would have only given him time to make up more lies and excuses to cover his behind – and potentially put you in an even worse position. You did the right thing.” – higaroth
“To be fair, I could totally understand this being an instant dealbreaker. Even if this was the first time I realized something was off about someone, it would DEFINITELY have me reevaluating my entire understanding of that person, and I would probably at minimum put a hold on any marriage plans.”
“Nevertheless, OP, this is not your fault. He brought this on himself for stealing and lying. Sucks that he and everyone else blames you for it, but I would probably give a Y T A vote if you knew about it and didn’t say anything. You are definitely in the moral right here.” – lc1320
Others agreed and said he did the girlfriend a favor.
“NTA – play stupid games win stupid prizes. He’s the one who lied about it, got caught, and is trying to blame you instead of owning his own mistake. You did her a favor.” – BoredAgain0410
“NTA. You work hard for your money. There is NOTHING worse than a moocher lying to take that money.”
“That’s why if someone in that situation were to tell me their dog needed surgery, I’d offer to go to the hospital with them and pay for it there. That way I know where my money is going. I never give money to anyone, though I’m very generous and have helped others buy things and pay for things–but I do it directly.”
“Rest assured, you are NOT the AH at all. And you didn’t ruin his relationship–HE did. Also, you probably did the girl a favor, now she won’t be married to a lying scheming AH. Good on you!” – TonnieSue
“NTA. I can guarantee this wasn’t the first red flag this woman saw from this guy, and she’s grateful to you for giving her the final straw to end things.” – alittlebitlost1984
“It’s really important to point out that it’s a textbook manipulation technique to cause/have a fight and then ‘love bomb’ their partner with over-the-top ‘apologies,’ like flowers and gifts and affection all at once.”
“The girlfriend said that OP’s brother was anti-marriage, but suddenly proposed. He may have decided to string her along for a while and give her a ring to stop her from bringing it up again.”
“I only mentioned it because borrowing the money tells me that he was responding to an urgency instead of an actual decision to propose.”
“NTA” – fredredphooey
“NTA, it sounds like the cousin is just doing things so his girlfriend will stay. He proposed to her, but refuses to talk at all about marriage or wedding planning?”
“That’s the biggest sign there that he’s not wanting to commit, he just wants her around for some selfish reason, and he probably knows she’s going to leave and that’s why he proposed.” – F0xFr33k
The subReddit didn’t understand why so many people surrounding the OP were criticizing him, because he honestly did what was best for his cousin’s girlfriend. From the looks of it, the cousin proposed before he was ready, either emotionally or financially, and involving his girlfriend and her dog in his lie, that’s a pretty low move, too.