Bullying is a problem as old as society.
People see something that is different or uncommon or even just interesting and some will always find a reason to attack it.
Anyone who has children knows about bullying all too well.
So when her daughter was targeted, one mother took matters into her own hands.
In the aftermath, Redditor and Original Poster (OP) cerealious1 came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subbreddit to ask
“AITA for waxing my 5 year old daughter’s unibrow?”
She began with the background.
“So my five year old daughter has a pretty thick dark unibrow, that is very noticeable. Because of covid, her preschool was online, therefore she was never bullied for having it.”
“However this past summer her cousins came over to visit and many of them teased her for her unibrow.”
The impact was immediate.
“They’d call her countless names, and at just five years old my daughter already thinks she is ugly. It breaks my heart because nobody (let alone a five year old) should think they are ugly.”
Mom did the best she could with praise…
“I reassure my daughter she is beautiful and not to listen to her cousins, but my daughter still believes she is ugly.”
…but the school year was approaching.
“In a week she is starting kindergarten, and I really do not want the bullying to get worse there. So yesterday I took it in my hands to wax her unibrow.”
“I didn’t shape them or anything just waxed the middle off to get rid of her unibrow.”
OP’s daughter was overjoyed.
“My daughter was elated looking in the mirror and calling herself so pretty.”
Of course, mom was pleased too.
“It warmed my heart to see her so confident in herself, but I made sure to remind her she was beautiful both ways.”
Dad, however, wasn’t as impressed.
“When my husband came home my daughter was so excited to show him her eyebrows. In front of her, he called her beautiful but after she left we had a huge fight.”
Beauty standards can be insidious.
“He said it was horrible of me to be subjecting my five year old daughter to beauty standards. And that at such a young age I’m pushing it on her, instead of telling her she is beautiful the way she is.”
“And no five year old should be waxing their eyebrows, and I’m pushing the mentality that she is only beautiful without her unibrow.”
Let’s also not forget about body autonomy.
“And that my daughter is too young to know what she wants and she should have been able to make her decision to wax it off when she is old enough.”
In the end, OP stood by her decision.
“I truly understand all the points he has made, however, my daughter told me she wanted to get rid of her unibrow. And I didn’t want her to grow up with the bullying and teasing and blame me because I could have prevented it.”
She offered up the matter to Reddit for judgment.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
Many identified with the plight of the bullied.
“NTA.”
“I, a female, have very dark and thick arm and leg hair. I got called half-ape all through elementary. I would come home and cry for an hour daily. Mom offered to me that I could wax.”
“I did.”
“It helped my self-esteem. Now that I’m in my 20’s I’ve just stopped caring. I have more important things to worry about. But I still think my mom did that right thing.”
“Thank you to everyone who gave an award and/or an upvote. I did not expect this level of response.”
“It’s honestly a bit disheartening to see how many people resonated with my comment.”
“For everyone who experienced this type of ridicule as a child, I hope you are healing from the hurt it caused, and know that you are wonderful people who did not deserve the ridicule.”~AITASSBDGifts
And…
“I had the same situation as you but opposite reaction from my mum refusing to let me shave or anything.”
“I don’t blame her for me getting bullied however I definitely hold against her she did absolutely nothing for my self-esteem and found what they were saying so funny she continued ‘the joke’ at home.”
“I have serious body issues even now turning 30 next week. So glad OP has realized kids are gonna be a**holes regardless of what the adults say.”~DeadlyShaving
Some called attention to how small the act was.
“NTA. This is so minor and could spare the daughter a lot of grief.”
“Maybe make sure to frame it as something she does because she likes the way it looks etc. vs. something she does for other people.”
“You have plenty of time to tackle beauty standards later.”
“A couple grades above me a girl was bullied so badly for something similar she switched to homeschooling – and this was decades ago when that was super uncommon.”
“Then she got bullied for that. And this was before anything like social media.”
“Why would you not want to do something simple to avoid it. There is the ideal world and the unfortunate reality sometimes.”~bookishkid
Especially to avoid so much damage.
“NTA. Having a unibrow that she already hated at 5 years old could have ruined her self-esteem for YEARS. The fact that it has bothered her so bad makes you NTA in my book.” ~ConflictOk8020
Others pointed to the fact his context is different than hers.
“As a woman who had a mustache for way too long, NTA. He does not understand what growing hair is like as a woman or girl and is refusing to understand.”~velvelteen94
OP took a stand for her child not in the pursuit of unattainable standards, but in an effort to protect her from often cruel classmates.
While bullying may be timeless, so too is the protective love of a mother.