From time to time, we like to enjoy something for ourselves that we don’t have to share with anyone else.
This feeling doesn’t stop just because someone becomes a parent or partner, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Independent-Pause-11 wanted to be able to enjoy some cake without all of the distractions of his home.
But when his wife called him selfish, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he was wrong.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for eating cake in my car, so I didn’t have to share with my wife and kids?”
The OP was comfortable with sharing his life with his family.
“I acknowledge, as a father and husband, that a lot of things that were singularly mine before just aren’t.”
“My wife steals my clothes, my wife and kids steal my food, my kids steal my phone.”
“I’m fine with it (most of the time), but I just needed one thing to myself without hurting feelings and making someone cry because everybody is sensitive in this house… including me.”
But he was really in the mood for some cake.
“I bought a single-serve piece of cake and ate it in my car without any wife sneaking bits or kids licking the chocolate from the top.”
“Unfortunately I got caught, and my wife is upset with me for going so far as to eat cake while hiding in my car.”
“She called me dramatic when I told her my reasoning.”
“Am I being dramatic?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some suggested eating the cake at the store.
“NTA, but a rookie mistake. Next time, eat it in the parking lot of where you bought it and use the outside trash can to throw away the evidence.”
“Source: My ex tried to eat everything I bought.” – SimplySam4210
“Eat yours in the parking lot, and when you get home throw her your keys and say, ‘I’ll watch the kids, you check the glovebox.’ Let her choose between bringing it inside and sharing with the kids, or admitting her jealously and hypocritically eating it in the car.” – f02f2e6fa0b3
“I am guilty of eating things in the car before getting home, or in the bathroom (yes sometimes I’m desperate!).”
“NTA. As a partner and a parent, sometimes you just need something just for you.” – JustKindaHappenedxx
“Let me introduce you to a marvelous concept: decoy chocolate. You get your super special treat, you buy a large amount of the cheapest chocolate the partner/kids eat. Throw it at them and while the vultures are distracted inhale your treat.” – Jovet_Hunter
“I had my ‘secret stash’ of chocolate. Of course, my kids knew about it and regularly helped themselves. However, they never knew about the SECRET, secret stash of chocolate.”
“Pro Parenting Tip: To hide food in the freezer from kids wrap it in tin foil and hide under a bag of frozen vegetables. Children seldom move things when looking for an item and will never willingly touch anything vegetable-related. Exceptions to these universal truths are few and far between.” – mamabear-50
Others thought it was negative for others to impose on the OP’s food.
“I think taking food is a recurring theme on this subReddit because it is SUCH an a**hole thing to do. Then the thieves act like it’s not a big deal but when it’s happening to you you just feel so d**n unloved and like you aren’t even worthy of eating as far as your family is concerned.”
“I’m not surprised people end up here asking if they’re TA or not for being upset about it. It’s the low blood sugar and guilt trip talking.” – kairi79
“In college, my roommates and I were all pretty poor and had food stamps. My roomie decided to spend her $200 on all herbs and spices for the kitchen while I opted for real food.”
“I was shocked to see her not only open my fresh pack of Oreos but eat two entire sleeves in one night. She was 100 lbs at best and this still impresses me.”
“I started hiding my food in my room. People really do be AHs esp when they OPEN or FINISH something that is clearly not theirs.” – cancerrising77
“I grew up with mom taking from my plate without asking. Sometimes it would be a lot. But she would also be like, ‘oh I don’t want a whole piece’ or some other dieting type of excuse. And then proceed to steal a bunch from me.”
“When I was older I started making her a separate plate whenever I made food and the first time she came over about to steal from me and I handed it to her, she looked embarrassed but she took it. It was driven by toxic weight culture and maybe some gender-based notions about how much a woman ‘should’ eat as well.”
“So we’d go out to eat and she’d always want to split something. It was so annoying because I just wanted my own meal and she’d always end up not ordering enough for herself and end up picking off everyone else’s plate. And then snacking as soon as we got home.”
“I did not learn about the concept of boundaries until I was in my mid to late 30s.” – wlwimagination
“It is totally fine to just occasionally do something for yourself. In fact, I think it’s kind of unhealthy and unbalanced for someone to think that they’re never ‘allowed’ to just buy a freaking piece of cake without having to think of everyone else in their family.” – SenorSmacky
“It’s been a crazy past few years, and I know that most of us have been feeling stressed… Please don’t feel guilty about treating yourself to a single slice of delicious cake.”
“You’re not an a**hole, but your wife’s mildly an a**hole for not checking in with you, and not letting you enjoy your cake.” – -clogwog-
The subReddit understood the OP needing a break or a piece of cake to himself. If anything, they suggested how to handle the situation better in the future, from doing a better job of hiding the cake to supplying his wife with some cake, too.