For any of you eighties babies, or at least the east coast ones, you probably remember when ‘overheard in New York‘ was a thing. Well, that site may not be en vogue as it once was, but people are picking up the mantle on Twitter sharing the weirdest things that they’ve ever overheard.
There are these classy ballet goers…
overheard at the ballet:
Woman: what’s the difference between a pause and an intermission?
Man: the amount you can drink during it; also during a pause you have to stay in your seat and they dim the lights a little, sort of like when a plane is about to crash
— isi litke (@isilitke) May 25, 2018
This parent and child relationship that honestly, is #goals…
conversation i over heard at target:
daughter-“mommy am i getting all this stuff”
mom-“i don’t know sweetie daddy doesn’t like it when i spend a lot of money”
daughter-“that’s ok we can get daddy stuff too!”
mom-“let’s do it!”
if this isn’t me in the future i don’t want it
— faith (@faith_weinberg) May 25, 2018
As opposed to this child who doesn’t want to enable…
I overheard a lady’s son in Target tell her, “Mom stop, we didn’t come for that.” This is what I need in my life.
— Jessica Calvert (@jessncalvert) May 25, 2018
This person has gotten their pop stars crossed…
A conversation I just overheard:
Dude: Did anyone ever tell you how much you look like Britney Spears?
Girl: oh my god! Thank you. Her song “Genie in a bottle” is my jam.
— Fallon Ashlee (@FallonAshlee) May 25, 2018
And this child is very specific…
Overheard at preschool:
Another kid: “You have two mommies.”
My son: “No, I have one Mommy and one Mom.”#ThreeYearOldsAreVeryLiteral
— crazy mama, PhD (@crazygradmama) May 25, 2018
This kid is just keeping it 100…
Overheard just now:
Mom to young child: I told you not to touch. What don’t you understand the “don’t” or the “touch”.
Young child: The don’t.
— Tareia Williams (@TNicolePR) May 24, 2018
While these two boys have their priorities straight…
Overheard part of a conversation between two 5th grade boys today-
“Why would I want a girlfriend?? I have fishing!!”
— brinkley haney (@brinkleyhaney) May 25, 2018
This one may be a little vindictive…
Mother to child: Don't step on the cracks or you'll break my back
Child: *intentionally steps on crack*
— Ben Delamater (@BeeKarl15) May 25, 2018
Which, if you’re afraid of that happening, there’s always the Karen solution…
overheard convos about having kids:
lady #1: I don’t have children, but I do have a ferret & he is a little shit
lady #2: not. the. same. karen.
— Hil (@hilsaunders) May 24, 2018
This guy is just here for the corn dogs…
in the sonic drive thru when I overheard with mine own ears, “here is your fourteen corn dogs sir”
— “bada-bing-bada” biba (@kitchenwitch42O) May 25, 2018
We need the rest of this story…
Overheard on the train “the family decided they’re going to stop feeding grandma. It’s just time.”
— Sara Jane Castro (@sashyjane) May 22, 2018
This kid finds target age groups to be very strict…
I overheard a 7 year old kid at InNOut belittle his father for wearing a Minions teeshirt and it was the most cutthroat thing I’ve ever heard. He said, “You need to stop wearing that shirt in public before someone beats me up for my dad wearing kids clothes. You have to grow up.”
— joel thayer (@joelthayer911) May 22, 2018
This couple is living their best life…
*overheard on the train*
Person 1: 'excuse me, are you two together?'
Person 2: 'yes..?'
Person 1: 'would you like to swap seats with me so you can sit together?'
Person 3: 'no, we've been together all day, and 37 years, I've suffered enough.'
— Jake (@jihearn) May 22, 2018
And there’s this guy who doesn’t want us to forget God in our everyday sayings…
I just overheard this:
Dude 1: *coughs*
Dude 2: bless you
Dude 1: that was a cough
Dude 2: you still need jesus, ben
— ᴊᴜʟɪᴀ ʜʏᴅᴇ (@itsjuliahyde) May 21, 2018
There’s this quotable father that might actually be in a Clint Eastwood movie…
"Son, I stopped believing in America when they made radios that you didn't have to work to find the station. If you don't work for it, you don't deserve the music."
— Overheard On Duty (@ShitIHearOnDuty) May 21, 2018
And this clap-back…
Overheard: "Oh, you're a self made man…why didn't you make yourself a little better??"
— Jerome Jenkins (@Jerome66Jenkins) May 21, 2018
This girl knows exactly what she’s looking for…
"i like my men how i like my scotch: twice as old as me and very expensive" — overheard in the airport
— Amber (@__itsamber) May 21, 2018
And this person truly is all of us…
overheard someone say “I’m on a diet but my soul just needed this today” at skyline and ive heard no truer words
— weird noodle (@crouch_ing) May 21, 2018
There’s this person who may need a little culinary lesson…
Overheard in my kitchen:
“No Daddy, I don’t want you to make my toast. I’ll do it myself.”
“Maddie that’s a potato.”
“…well then which one is bread?!”
— Dani (@MrsTimMcCord) May 22, 2018
There’s some hard truths…
overheard in class:
1: when you finish your law degree it's still another four years to become a lawyer
2: well when you finish international security studies and criminology it still takes another two years to become a mcdonalds manager
— ર૯הה (@corviiid) May 22, 2018
And this unfortunate olfactory situation…
When the cheap perfume overpowers the restaurant's food smells…
It's TOO much.
"How are you enjoying your carne asada tacos?"
"They taste like I'm eating Elizabeth Taylor's pillowcase." pic.twitter.com/z9zvtqbJDl
— Roger Craig Smith (@RogerCraigSmith) May 22, 2018
These girls are having an existential moment…
The following is a conversation I overheard in a parking lot:
Girl 1: I don’t even know where I’m at
Girl 2: Oh you’re parked right here
Girl 1: No I mean in life…
— Dezeray (@DezerayCherel) May 22, 2018
And this woman is yelling some scientific facts…
at burger king for some spicy nugs and overheard a woman yelling "sometimes people get food to nourish their bodies and are not soul-sucking demons!"
i will marry this woman
— jake slesinski (@greatwhitesnake) May 22, 2018
But of course, the most important fact of all is this one…
Overheard today while walking Moose:
"I'll have to call you back, there's a big dog and I need to pet him." pic.twitter.com/4jbH7tq3Vm
— Andrea Wolfson (@andrea_wolfson) May 23, 2018
We all must pet Moose.