It’s understandable that parents hope that their children will develop a fondness for all of their own interests and hobbies.
If only to introduce them to all their favorite books, movies, sports and games and the like in hopes that they might enjoy them together.
But no two people are alike, even within the same family, and thus children are never guaranteed to love all the same things their parents do.
Redditor LEAVEMEALOOOOOONE had two parents who were both die hard fans of the science fiction/fantasy genre.
So much so that they made a considerable effort to make sure that the original poster (OP) joined in their fandom.
Their efforts proved not to pay off, however, as the OP instead became increasingly tired of her sci-fi/fantasy-loving household, even eventually reaching a breaking point.
Worried that she may have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for yelling at my mom that I hate Harry Potter and to LET ME LIVE MY OWN LIFE?”
The OP shared how their parents’ love of all things fantasy related finally became too much for her to handle.
“As my title suggests, my mom is a huge Harry Potter nut.”
“She and my dad actually met in a harry potter ‘IRC’, like Disord but for old people, in the early 00s, got married had kids and from day one decided to embarrass us for life by naming us after some Harry Potter and Star Wars characters.”
“It’s honestly been hell.”
“I have a stupid name and since we were little my parents have forced stuff like Harry Potter, Star Wars, Marvel movies, etc down our throats.”
“Everything is about dragons and magic and blah blah blah.”
“I’m so sick of it.”
“Every birthday every holiday everything is just organized around ‘fandom’.”
“So just like every Christmas the days leading up to Christmas, we have to sit down every night and watch Harry Potter movies.”
“It’s. So. F*cking. BORING!”
“I can usually get away with knitting or drawing on my Ipad during this but this year my mom was like ‘let’s just have a technology and distraction-free night every night’.”
“I arranged to go over to my friend Missy’s house instead for like two nights.”
“Missy’s family is NORMAL and likes things a NORMAL amount.”
“My mom got really mad and started talking about how it’s a family tradition and how I’m basically rejecting her and went on her whole thing about how ‘you wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for harry potter’.”
“I finally had it and just yelled ‘NOBODY CARES THAT YOU WERE A BIG NAME IN THE HARRY POTTER FAN CLUB!'”
“‘I don’t like Harry Potter! I don’t like Star Wars! I HATE MARVEL MOVIES THEY’RE ALL SO BORING PLEASE JUST LET ME HAVE MY OWN INTERESTS!’”
“I couldn’t help it I started crying because I was just so frustrated because everything always has to be about harry potter this star wars that and now that we’re all older they started doing game of thrones.”
“EVERYTHING is centered around some kind of movie or tv show or book series.”
“Just once I want my family to band around something that DOESN’T have to do with media or these nerdy things.”
“We live in Utah where we have like 5 National Parks and even though I ask every year for my birthday I’VE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO ARCHES!”
“Well my sister called me saying that mom was angry and to just come home and to stop with the theatrics.”
“I told her that I’m sick of having all this old ‘nerd’ stuff crammed down my throat and just once I want to have a normal time watching normal Christmas movies and not having to pause for “lightsaber battles’.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for losing her temper with her parents.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s parents were unfairly pressuring her to share their interests, with a few suggestions that family therapy might be necessary to get past this.
“But that irc comment cut me to the core and now I feel old.”- just_some_a**ehole
“Your reaction makes sense.”
“It’s 100% understandable.”
“Extreme role players like this can be just as toxic as parents that micromanage their children.”
“If you feel like you’re not allowed to have your own interests/hobbies/alone time you should be able to say so.”
“I happen to be extremely nerdy.”
“My mother tried to force me to become a dancer.”
“I mega sucked.”
“Couldn’t even do the splits, but she pressured me to go until the teachers stepped in and told her how miserable I was.”
“She spent thousands each year on costumes/gas/hair/makeup.”
“We spent endless hours traveling in hot buses for competitions.”
“I literally had to stop at age 12 because I physically could not do what the other dancers could.”
“I wasn’t flexible, thank god, and above all, I wasn’t interested.”
“I felt so guilty because so many girls in my class at school loved dancing.”
“They would have loved to have a mom that was willing to spend big bucks to fly them to cheer competition/ballet/tap/hip hop/skating.”
“But it just wasn’t for me. I was tired and moody 24/7.”
“I can’t even begin to describe how depressed it made me.”
“I wanted to read manga.”
“I did not want to spend 10 hours a week in two different dance studios.”
“I didn’t understand why my mom couldn’t see that.”
“I completely understand.”
“Your parents are not providing an inclusive environment, and it’s not fair.”
“I think you should try to sit them down, and have a SERIOUS conversation about how you feel.”
“Don’t say you hate them.”
“Say YOU want to share YOUR hobbies with them.”
“Parents should not expect their children to be clones of them.”- Laser-teatime
“As a HUGE Harry Potter fan myself, you are NTA.”
“You have to be able to grow up and have your own interests.”
“Do you think your parents would be open to family therapy?”- AccioAmelia
“The sentence ‘Missy’s family likes things a NORMAL amount’ really jumped out at me.”
“It’s a shame that in their obsession and absorption in their fandom, they’ve really killed some cool books and movies and stuff for you and your siblings.”
“Lots of people enjoy these things without making them their whole life.”
“Also I’m being petty here but watching movies is not a ‘technology-free night’.”
“Play a board game or something’.”- B4pangea
“There are fans and then they are FANS.”
“Your parents are the latter.”
“I personally love people who are very enthusiastic about something or anything but they have made their whole life around the fandom which is sad really.”- Square_Ad_5688
“We love nerdy stuff in our house, but never forced it on our kids.”
“They have normal names.”
“And because we allowed them to be who they wanted, they chose their own nerd niches.”
“Your mother needs to chill out before your start calling her Dolores.”
“I know you hate HP, but that name just might get through to her.”- ScarletteMayWest
“And your post is a great warning for all those people still thinking about naming their kid ‘Anakin’ or ‘Khaleesi’.”
“You’re allowed to have your own interests, and your parents aren’t making life easier by forcing things they like on you.”- KyleSmittenhouse
“OP is definitely NTA.”
“It’s OK to like something.”
“It’s OK to love something.”
“It’s OK to include your family in it.”
“It’s NOT OK to shove it down their throats because you can’t escape your own reality and understand that some people may hate it just as much as you love it.”- Sheisty_Lawyer
“That is oppressive and sounds horrible.”
“Don’t give your kids stupid names.”
“The entire state of Utah is a prime example of this, and OP’s parents especially took it to the next level.”
“This is the rollout of that.”- reverber8
“But I have a little bit of hope that they named you ‘She Who Must Not Be Named’.”- Stavros103uk
“My parents always got my gifts of things they wanted me to like.”
“I know it makes me sound like a snob but it’s really upsetting getting gifts in things you’ve expressed multiple times you have no interest in, and then they get mad when you don’t like it.”-Price-x-Field
It’s understandable that the OP’s parents might be disappointed she doesn’t share their love for the fantasy genre.
But forcing her to like it will never change her opinion.
In all likelihood, doing so will only make her like it even less.
One can only hope that after a civil conversation, maybe with a family therapist, the OP’s parents might let her discover something which makes her as excited as they are about Harry Potter.