Every now and again, some elements of our past might come back to haunt us in the most unexpected of places..
Sometimes reminding us of memories we’d been trying to forget.
Redditor notmyproblemlmao recently found herself confronted by several unpleasant memories at her work, owing to a visit from an unexpected customer.
But concerned she might not have handled the situation as tactfully as she could have, the original poser, (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for saying that a customer’s daughter bullied me back in high school, we weren’t friends?”
The OP first filled readers in a little bit about her past, as well as her current working situation.
“So I work at a department store in a mall near where I grew up.”
“I was bullied in High School (HS).”
“Not to the end of my rope, but it wasn’t pleasant.”
“I don’t think about it a LOT, but sometimes people from HS come through my store.”
“I just do my job and am pleasant to them because I need the money.”
She then told readers about one certain customer, who unintentionally flooded the OP’s memories with unpleasant reminders of her past.
“Anyway a woman came through to pick up an order, and she gave me the last name and spelled it.”
“I thought ‘Hey that’s Kristin and Katie’s last name from HS’.”
“It was a pretty unique one.”
“I didn’t say anything at first, just normal pleasant chatter.”
“She took the stuff out of the bag to make sure it was right and commented ‘My daughters will love these, they just finished college,’ etc etc.”
“She essentially confirmed who’s mom she was.”
“I was just making small talk and said ‘Oh, I think I went to school with a Kristin and Katie Lastname.'”
“She said ‘Oh yeah?! How funny! Were you friends?'”
“I said ‘Oh no, I just knew they were in my grade.'”
“She said ‘Were you on the volleyball team with them?'”
“I said ‘No, I don’t think so.'”
“She looked at my name tag and said ‘That’s odd, I think I remember them talking about a Penny back then! You must’ve come over for their birthday or something.'”
“That just kinda made me sad, because I’ve never been to a birthday party before, and I said ‘No, I definitely never came over. Kristin bullied me and I don’t think I ever talked to Katie.'”
“Her entire demeanor changed (which was okay honestly, I had people in line).”
“She didn’t say a single thing after that and just kinda left without taking her order sheet.”
“I didn’t chase her down to get it to her.”
“She’ll have a copy in her email anyway.”
“The next customer in line said something like ‘Wheeeew, that was awkward!’ and my coworker at the counter agreed.”
“They both laughed about it, but later on my coworker said that it was pretty douchey to tell a parent that their kid was a bully.”
“She has a daughter.”
“I don’t have kids.”
“I have a betta fish named Karl.”
“On the one hand, yeah I guess. It was like 4 years ago.”
“But at the same time… it happened, and I’d think a parent would WANT to know that their kid was a jerk to others so they could talk about it.”
“Even as adults. “
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they felt the OP fell in this particular situation.
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Redditors were fairly evenly divided on whether the OP was being an a**hole or not in deciding to confront the mother of her high school bullies.
Some sided with the OP, believing that the customer should know, even after the fact, that her daughter’s were bullies in high school.
“Mum just realized she heard her daughter talking about somebody she bullied and did not put 2 and 2 together.”
“She just realized by pushing she learned her daughter is/was a AH and a bully and was embarrassed by it.”- MinsAino
” You were honest.”
“It sucks that this woman’s daughters suck.”-purekittyluv.
“Is that a potentially awkward thing to say? “
“Would most people say that? “
“But you’re not an a**hole for it lol.”
“You just didn’t hide her daughter’s a**holeish behavior for the sake of niceties.”-sunbuns.
“If a person’s gonna be a bully, somebody’s gonna call them a bully.”
“They don’t get to demand you protect their reputation.”- Aerik
Others however, wondered if the OP should have really brought up the fact that the woman’s daughters bullied her, or even that she knew them at all, while she was working, with some even calling the OP’s behavior unprofessional.
“NAH – You probably shouldn’t have said anything, and she shouldn’t have pushed.”
“These errors aren’t enough to make anyone the a**hole.- OffMyLawnJackass.
“It seems I’m going against the grain here, but YTA.”
“Obviously the daughters are AHs for the bullying, but they’re not part of this story. “
“This is an interaction between you, who works in customer service, and their mother, a paying customer who didn’t bully you in high school.”
“As part of your job you usually have to make small talk as you complete the sale, but you recognized her, she didn’t recognize you.”
“You were the one to bring up knowing her daughters, and being asked how you know them was bound to be the next question.”
“You may have answered honestly, but there was always the option you didn’t take: say nothing the first place, take her money, let her leave with her shopping, and forget about it.”
“Instead you went with the nuclear option.”
“I notice in another comment someone said you were unprofessional.”
“This is what they mean.”
“For minimum wage in retail, professional means you say ‘have a nice day’ and then shut the f*ck up.”
“You’ve probably embarrassed a customer in to not coming back, and you’re lucky your management didn’t overhear the conversation.”- bothsidesofthemoon.
“YTA you brought it up.”
“You basically trapped her into telling her that her daughter was a bully.”
“Obviously the daughter is an AH for bullying you (bullies suck).”
“But what good did it do to bring it up to her mom in a store in front of strangers while you were working??”
“Theres a time and a place and this was definitely not it.”
“I would have said NTA if she had recognized you and said something like ‘didn’t you go to school with my daughters’ and then kept pressing the issue.”-Icy-Combination5499.
Our emotions can be hard to control, but sometimes it is literally our job to do so.
One has little doubt that the mother of those two bullies will not be returning to the OP’s place of employment.
Here’s hoping that it remains the OP’s place of employment, and this unpleasant encounter didn’t land her in trouble.