Sizing in women’s clothing is utterly ridiculous. There is a total lack of standardization that means a person can be a size 10, 18, 1, yellow, and triangle all at the same time depending on where they’re shopping.
When so much value is placed on a woman’s size, it can be easy to get fixated on the number and lose sight of just how arbitrary it truly is.
That fixation is enough to make a person absolutely miserable.
So what do you do when a person you love is lost in a tailspin of self-loathing over an increase in clothing size? We’re going to be honest: we don’t have an answer for that.
What we do have is one man’s tale of what NOT to do. Remember folks, deceiving your partner (no matter how good your intentions are) is pretty much guaranteed to blow up in your face.
In an effort to help his wife feel better about her size, our hapless hero started tricking her about the size of clothing she was buying. Whenever she would ask him to bring her an item to the fitting room, he would change the sizing sticker on the front of the item to reflect her smaller previous size.
Then, when she bought the clothes and got them home, he would sneakily remove the size tags. She felt better about her size, and her confidence started to come back even though nothing about her body had actually changed.
She even talked to a few people about her weight loss!
Eventually, though, she noticed the lack of tags on all of her new clothing and figured out he had been lying to her. She didn’t take it well.
The original post didn’t work out too well for him either, but we’ll get to that. First let’s read through the original post and the edit he left to share his frustrations:
This poor, unfortunate soul.
As you can tell from his edit, people roasted him pretty hard.
It’s also pretty clear that he absolutely didn’t intend for things to spiral the way that they did. He just wanted his wife to feel as beautiful as he believes she is.
Like we said earlier, we don’t have the answers as to how he could have navigated this situation any better. All we know is that this approach was a total failure.
Things got pretty heated in the comments:
“You’re the a$$hole, but I feel for you. The correct course of action (in my opinion) would have just been to tell her directly she’s no longer those sizes and not make a fool out of her. There might have been a good chance of meltdown but it would at least have been productive. Sorry dude good luck.” – [deleted]
“She was being an idiot! Why on earth would she believe that she could magically fit into clothing that was half her size? Aside from that, she kept whining about her weight, doing nothing about it, and making her husband’s trips to the store with her a miserable experience. What he did was the equivalent of sticking a pacifier into a baby’s mouth when they don’t stop crying. I have no sympathy for people who complain non stop about something while doing absolutely nothing to fix the problem.” – VideoBoySaysCube
“I don’t think that you’re actually an ass – just in this particular situation. Can you imagine what her sister/mom/friend/co-worker/neighbor thought when she proudly told them that she’s lost some weight and fits into her size 6’s again? They either thought she was nuts, stupid, delusional, or something else – we aren’t talking about the difference between a 6/7/8 – but you said she is more like a 10/12 – I am a 10/12, and if I ever told someone I was a size 6 they would think I was a big fat liar…a size 10/12 liar. You made her feel stupid. You made her feel ashamed. You made her think about any moment she mentioned losing weight to anyone. She feels embarrassed.”
“She’s very self conscious and in denial like you said, so finding out she was actually wearing bigger sizes it probably really hurt for her. All of a sudden what she was refusing to believe came true for her, she really is around a size 10/12. However, I do believe you were trying to help with the best of intentions. You tried to make your wife feel confident and comfortable when she was refusing to accept she had gained weight.” – happy-lil-hippie
“What you were doing was out of pure love and good intentions. i think she might be more embarrassed than mad maybe? i think once she realizes that you were really just trying to boost her confidence and it was all out of a place of good intentions that she won’t be as mad. I personally think what you did was so so sweet and was a very wholesome and kind thing to do.” – SweetCarrottLine
“Dude. People are being WAY too hard on you and not nearly hard enough on your wife. You aren’t a piece of sh!t. Stop. Seriously. Your wife owns more than one article of clothing. She owns more than 2, 4 or 6 articles of clothing. The clothing that continues to fit her will be the larger sizes. The smaller sizes will no longer fit her. It is basic logic that if you own 10 pairs of pants, and 9 of them are a size 12, with one being a size 6…you are a size 12. Not a 6, simply because you have one or two articles of clothing in a smaller size. I don’t see how it’s even possible for OP’s wife to wear and evaluate her current wardrobe, and not realize that she is not a size 6, because nothing else that fits would be a size 6. She wanted to believe this. She wanted to believe it so much she ignored all logic and every item of clothing in the proper size, as well as every item that didn’t fit. That part isn’t your fault. I think most of us would notice and say “hey, this is weird, this size 6 fits but none of mine do… what’s going on?”. – Sage_Is_Singing
“As a wife and mother of 2 that is back down to a size 6 for the first time ever after having 2 kids, God I feel her pain and yours. I didn’t tend to get visibly upset but I do enjoy shopping a TON now that everything fits so much nicer and I feel better. It would totally be something my husband would do and I’d react like she did but eventually I’d calm down and see the sweetness of it. You may want to write her a note and say ‘I wanted you to feel the way you look to me, as beautiful now as you have always been. It made me so happy to see you enjoying your body again.’ Or something along those lines so she knows your intentions were good.” – Notatumor1990
However kindhearted his intentions were, it’s clear that the deception didn’t work out quite the way the original poster had hoped. So now we’re turning to you, dear readers.
What would you have done in his situation?