Being a young, thirsty, conservative man in New York City must be rough sometimes. The city is known for being home to a more liberal and openminded crowd but, hey, if you can’t find love in a city full of millions of people … you know what they say.
Elliot Kaufman is a writer and self-proclaimed conservative. He labeled himself in his Twitter bio with a French literary term “enfant du siècle” – which translates to “child of the century.”
You know how some people have no idea how right they are? Yeah, he’s one of them and, thanks to a now-deleted tweet that weirdly combined his thirst with his desire to shame people, Twitter hasn’t stopped talking about it.
Let’s set the stage. Elliot, an intellectual, was riding the subway reading a biography. He noticed a beautiful young woman approaching … we’ll let him take it from there.
Rather than figure she had a valid reason not to know who Winston Churchill was — like maybe she’s not American or from the UK, or maybe political history isn’t one of her passions, or maybe she actually knew and was trying to draw him deeper into a conversation — he opted to hop on Twitter and dramatically post the encounter. Since he’d been waiting his entire life for that moment, and the attractive 22-year-old clearly “ruined” it by not knowing who Winston Churchill was, Twitter decided to grant his wish and give him his moment.
Oh, wait, no they didn’t. They scoured his tweets and found that he has a history of being hyper-thirsty, mega-judgy, elitist, and condescending. They also found that he’s an alumni interviewer for an Ivy League university that has had some issues with sexual assault. In addition, they discovered he has pretty openly shared his doubts about women who report sexual assault. Oh, and he posts pictures of “the perfect spot to think of sex without the law” … we have no idea which set of emojis would properly convey the amount of cringe that gives us.
Basically, Elliot’s Twitter doesn’t paint the best picture.
and they’re grooming this piece of shit to be, what, the next bari weiss or bret stephens? with the imprimatur of stanford and the wsj no less— Orgy O' Agamben (@Ad0rnosPorno69) September 24, 2018
And so, as is customary, the traditional roasting began. His tweet became a meme dedicated to his particular brand of awkward, off-putting, elitism. Elliotism, if you will…
attractive 22-yo model on the subway (i suspect that she is 22 based on the pronunciation of her hand tendons): oh my god that book looks so big!— Orgy O' Agamben (@Ad0rnosPorno69) September 24, 2018
me: how old are you darling?
her: can you teach me to read???
me: this is a list of every states’ age of consent laws, and pic.twitter.com/7TWe4wJYJw
Attractive 22-yo girl on the subway: Whoa, what are you reading?— Valondar (@VK_HM) September 26, 2018
Me, has been waiting for this moment my entire life: Metropolis, The Book.
Her: *nods* Which became the Movie.
I also *nod*
Attractive 22-yo girl on the subway: Whoa, Churchill was a white supremacist— Patrick Claybon (@PatrickClaybon) September 24, 2018
Me, has been waiting for this moment my entire life: yup.
Attractive 22-yo girl on the subway: Whoa, that looks cool, what are you reading?— ? Insatiable Gun Taker ? (@crushingbort) September 24, 2018
Me, has been waiting for this moment my entire life: why nothing more than a simple pamphlet on how to tell the age of strangers. I also recognize you as the mugger who shot my parents
Attractive 22-yo girl on the subway: Whoa, that looks cool, what are you reading?— sir, have you no decent weed? (@argumentwinner) September 26, 2018
Me: Oh just a tweet about an attractive 22-yo girl on the subway asking "What are you reading?"
Her: damn what a loser, you want to fuck because you're cool and not virgin?
Me: yeah *sunglesses*
Hi, it’s me, the attractive girl who says “Whoa, that looks cool, what are you reading?” to men I don’t know on the subway. I also say “Hey, by the way, I’m 22 years old.” pic.twitter.com/2iV6xcaFg9— I hope Stephen Sondheim is having a nice day (@GraceSpelman) September 25, 2018
Attractive 22-yo girl on the subway: Whoa, why the fuck are you asking for my birth certificate?— aled ?️? (@aled_not_aylid) September 26, 2018
Me, has been waiting for this moment my entire life: Just gIVE IT HERE GODDAMIT!
Attractive 22-yo girl on the subway: He-— Kouka Walker (@idiot3qu3) September 26, 2018
Attractive 22-yo girl on the subway: Are you my Tinder date? because that would explain why you know how old I am— DSA Bad Bitch Caucus?? (@dTrixieF) September 26, 2018
What actually happened— erick erickdad (@NormsRespecter) September 24, 2018
Attractive 22- yo girl on the subway standing minding her own business and on her phone
Me, leaving the house for the first time in weeks and having watched 27 hours of YouTube in preparation: I'm... Reading a book on Winston Churchill
Attractive 22-yo girl on the subway: *Doing anything to avoid getting this weirdo’s attention*— G.I. Joey Joe Joe (@GIJoeyJoeJoe) September 24, 2018
Me, has been waiting for this moment my entire life: Hi there! I saw you looking over. Oh it’s just a biography of Winston Churchill’s early years.
Her: Don’t talk to me
Attractive 22-yo girl on the subway: Whoa, that looks cool, what are you reading?— A$MR Rocky ? (Mercy main) (@ChristianMingel) September 21, 2018
Me, has been waiting for this moment my entire life: Oh it’s just a biography of Ted Kaczynski’s early years.
Her: Who’s Ted Kaczynski?
Attractive 22-yo girl on the subway: Whoa, that looks pretty cool, what are you reading?— hmm (@R3troguy) September 26, 2018
Me, has been waiting my entire life for this moment: *shows this book's spine* pic.twitter.com/uMHGIIJMbY
Elliot has blocked some of the people memeing his now-deleted tweet, but that doesn’t mean he’s bothered. Someone pointed out to him that he was a meme now and he dismissed it, responding that he was only a meme “among people who take their cues from rich kid socialists.” He followed it up with a puke emoji.
Long story short, Twitter shows no mercy! So post with caution because things get very “eat the rich” very fast.