Redditor “sugohfu” was hiding away like Flowers in the Attic in his girlfriend’s bedroom when her strict parents came home sooner than expected.
The Original Poster (OP) made his Reddit debut by giving up-to-date developments in the TIFU (Today I F’d Up) subReddit as the forbidden boyfriend, waiting to make a break for it.
“Long time Reddit reader, first time making an account because i am currently stuck in my girlfriends room while she and her family are having dinner downstairs. I haven’t eaten since morning nor showered and I need to take a sh*t.”
“Back story to this morning, since the lockdown for [the virus] happened, I haven’t seen my girlfriend for over month plus.”
“Our government recently relaxed the quarantine so we are allowed to go out but not loiter. Woke up to my girlfriend’s call around 11am saying that her parents went out to get something.”
He jumped at the opportunity for a clandestine rendezvous.
“I thought okay I’ll come over, return her a camera I borrowed and maybe we can sit in my car around her neighbourhood and hangout awhile.”
“It was a little rushed as her parents just left her house as I left mine. I’m about 20 min away from her place. She assured me her parents will be out for at least 1 and a half hours as they need to get lunch.”
“I drove as fast as I could and picked her up from the front of the house and we drove to park nearby to hangout.”
The OP became parched, which led to the couple getting water from the house while the parents were still out.
“After a couple of minutes, I ask if she brought some water as I asked her about it before I came and she said no.”
“She said why don’t you come in and take some water since her parents will still be far away. I said yes (obviously) and went in, drank water and we sat on the couch for awhile to cuddle.
“I was a little paranoid but I haven’t seen her in a long time so i needed it. About 10 min, we hear a car outside her house and that’s how tifu, it was her parents.”
“They were only out for 40 min. FML we panicked. Luckily I parked away from her house and took my slippers in.”
Coming clean about his visit would be better than sneaking around, right?
Unfortunately, based on the description of her parents, the family was from a very strict culture.
“I contemplated just owning up and lying that I needed to use the toilet but her mom is really difficult. She would assume my girlfriend was lying and get her trouble and I haven’t even met her parents officially as her boyfriend yet.”
“If you are from an Asian family or have heard of asian parents being strict about relationships, it’s true.”
“We both ran up to her room and I hid behind her door. Mind you, her room is really small. Its about the siZe of two single beds.”
The stakes were high as the couple scrambled for the perfect hiding place.
“Can’t hide under the bed as she has to keep her door open and you can see straight under her bed from the stairs. The only place possible is behind her door.”
“I stood there frozen af as she went down to greet her parents. I could hear them coming in as I hugged the wall as tightly as I could.”
“She came back up freaking out but I said it’s okay. Let’s just try formulate a plan. She said okay and she went down to eat with them first. Which I had then had to stay as silent a possible with no fan or air-conditioning so I sweated my a** off.”
“1 pm ish. She comes back up and we try to listen whether her parents are coming up or not. They usually sit downstairs after lunch and nap, which they did.”
“Gave me a little bit of relief as I could sit down in the floor. The space in between the door and her table is super tiny which is uncomfortable but I’m not complaining.”
“2pm. Her dad comes up to shower and her door is right next to the bath area. F’k I can hear the water rushing.”
“But good news my girlfriend is in the room doing her work so she can look out. Its weird as I’m just standing up behind the door and looking at her look back at me.”
“After his shower, her dad leaves to go to his store which leaves her mom downstairs. She gets on a long phone call which gives me a bit of room to relax. My girlfriend and I make out a bit to calm our nerves and I gotta say it did help.”
“For the next three hours, her mom stays downstairs and we try to formulate a plan but everything involves the timing of her parents which is impossible.”
“Can’t jump out the window cause it’s grilled and she doesn’t have the key…”
“Around 5.30pm ish, her dad comes home and almost f’king COMES INTO HER ROOM.”
“He asks her to print something and she quickly walks to her door to stop him from coming in. I hear his voice right outside the door.”
“Thankfully he walks away and goes down to watch TV. And I swear to god the universe wants us to suffer because right after that her mom comes upstairs and hangs about the common area.”
“My girls had recorded a zoom meeting so she tells her mom she has a meeting and plays it and closing the door giving my legs much needed rest and I sit.”
“7pm, her mom calls her from downstairs that it’s time to eat. And that’s where we are at now.”
“Its currently 9pm at this sentence and I can hear her family talking to each other. She has to turn off the lights and fan and air-conditioning so I’m freaking drenched in my sweat in the dark.”
“I’m sitting down but I’ve got pins and needles in my feet now. I would stand up but because the area is so tight, I don’t want to risk any noise. Oh remember how I haven’t eaten and need to sh*t? That’s attacking now.”
“My stomach is growling and I’m making fart noises.”
“I’m so scared to be caught cause my parents are gonna slaughter me too. My girlfriend and I will discuss our plans for me to escape when she comes up…”
Operation Secret Boyfriend was far from over.
“UPDATE 1: they are done with dinner. My girlfriend brought me some water and biscuits but I don’t have the appetite to eat.”
“Don’t want to drink too much as I would risk needing to go to the toilet. She went back to do the dishes”
“#2: its 9pm and my girlfriend is in her room. She told her family she is playing animal crossing with her friends so hopefully her parents don’t barge in. We’re gonna formulate a plan for me to escape now. I can finally stretch my legs.”
“#3: WE HAVE A PLAN. 9.30pm We’re going to wait for their parents to head up to their room. She’s going to check if their door is closed and where they are looking at it. She’ll bring me downstairs and I’ll hide in the storeroom.”
“She’ll then go and tell her parents she’s taking photos of the night and no worry if the door alarm rings (cause they have an alarm system in place).”
“She’ll unlock the main door, the outside small gate and leave it open for a bit (gated and guarded area so it’s pretty safe). She’ll go check on her parents as they like to look at what she is doing from their room.”
“Once she’s confirmed they are not looking, she’ll get me from the storeroom, I’ll go all the way out and hide behind a pillar in front of her house.”
“She’ll lock everything and go back up and check her parents are not looking out and I’ll walk to my car (so I don’t startle her dog). Sounds pretty legit as she knows her parents schedule the best.”
“#4: 9:41 pm. Showed my girlfriend this post and we’re reading the comments. Really means a lot to us that everyone is supportive. Makes the nerves less frightening. We’re hugging it out and playing Animal Crossing till her parents go to sleep at around 11.”
“#5: I’m still here and it’s around 10.30. my time zone is GMT +8 for those who are still invested. We’re just preparing for when her parents go to bed so we’re trying to calm our nerves.”
“#6: it’s 11 but her parents are not sleeping. For some strange reason her mom decided to bake at like 10.30. starting to think they suspect something.”
“#7:SH*T YES! my gf just went to down and her mom is done baking and says she is going to sleep soon. Which just leaves her dad still watching TV. I’m almost out I can feel the wind already. Just can’t get too trigger happy and jump the gun.”
“#8: FFFK. her mom just walked past her room. Heading into her own room. Her dad also getting ready to sleep. Sh*t is about to happen guys. Phase one of our plan is about to commence!”
“#9: damn, her mom went to bed but her dad is still watching TV. It’s like 11:30pm and he is still watching? At least her mom is in her room so that is good.”
“#10: OKAY plan is in action. Her dad is now in their room and she is moving my stuff downstairs to the storeroom. I’ll update once I’m inside.”
“#11: took my last sip of water and went down to the storeroom. Phase 1 complete. Her dad is showering, her parents door is closed. Now for the front door and gate.”
“#12: gf opening the door and the gate. I have to wait for her.”
“#13: slight change, I went out the door together with her. Her dog isn’t barking so that’s good. She has to open the gate.”
“#14. Out the gate. Bending down. Waiting for her text me.”
“#15. She’s taking some photos to sell the story. Better not rush it. Her dog is getting very close to me and sniffing me thought the gate. Oh god please don’t bark.”
“FINAL UPDATE: F’KING HELL GUYS. I made it. I just started the engine and my heart is pounding. I’m safe and sound. TIME TO GO HOME. Got out 11:53″
At 12:15 a.m., the OP left a “post clarification.”
“I’m home sipping a hot cup of Milo and laughing with my girlfriend about the entire day. We just wanna thank everyone that supported us and this sh**ty situation we put ourselves in.”
“The nerves were real and seeing how everyone wanted the best for us really helped us push through this emotionally. Wanted to clarify a few things for quite a number of questions.”
“A lot of people were saying this story is a fake a similar to other ‘stuck in ___ room with family in house.’ Unfortunately, Asian people go through similar things and this is no exception. The strict family and rebellious child senario. Same coin, different sides.”
“A few people mentioned how this is similar to another post a year a go and truth is, I was inspired by that post to share this story.”
“It was a very emotionally troubling time for both of us and after reading the mentioned post and seeing how supportive everyone was and how it made the OP feel much better, I thought it would a good idea for my girlfriend and I to do the same.”
“And it did! It honestly helped us feel like we could make this work. I’m really sorry I can’t prove it happened but this was real to the both of us and that’s more important.”
“We own up to this mistake and that’s why it’s on tifu. We f’ked up big time and have only ourselves to blame. But we survived it learnt never to repeat it again.”
“Thank you again for investing your time in this. Didn’t expect it to blow up like this but you guys helped us a lot. Time to sleep now. Good night everyone!!!”
The reviews were in after Redditors were entertained by the play-by-play escape mission.
“This is a hell of a read. All the best soldier.” – talkingbiscuits
These readers verified the cultural stereotype.
“A lot of Asian families are like this. I’m not Asian but have known plenty and heard the stories.” – Scary_Omelette
“Asian here, it’s not uncommon for traditional parents to be authoritarian.”
“First generation Asians have it rough because they grow up differently than their parents. So it causes a clash (values, beliefs etc) and parents want that control to make sure their kids don’t make decisions they deem as mistakes, no matter how small.”
“Of course this isn’t a blanket statement but a good majority of them are pretty controlling.”
“Source: Am Asian and attended a Korean church with my parents until I was like 22. All the first gen kids hung out and talked about their parents.” – howmanypenises
“I have a friend who’s asian and has fckin mental asian parents.”
“Your gf practically risked her freedom and rest of her life for you you must mean a LOT to her dude goodluck and hope you 2 last long enough or live to tell this story to your kiddos.” – sweetbabyhesus
Alls well that ends well, we guess.
The series Fresh Off the Boat, available here, explores the culture clash between traditional and modern family dynamics.