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Bride Furious After Learning Family Has Been Taking Bets On How Long Her Marriage Will Last


It’s your wedding, you’re day.

You get to invite whomever you wish.

And if someone or several someones are disinvited… they’ll have to learn to live.

Case in point…

Redditor effie389 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for threatening to cancel my wedding because my family were making bets on how long it would take my fiancé to regret marrying me?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My wedding is supposed to be at the end of this month.”

“But I’m planning to cancel everything and have a courthouse wedding.”

“My cousin told me my family were making bets on how long it would take my fiancé to realize he wasn’t getting the ‘good little wife he was expecting; and regret marrying me.”

“When I confronted them, they said it was just a harmless joke.”

“And that I didn’t have the personality to be a submissive housewife which a man like my fiancé would obviously want.”

“My sister-in-law made a joke about making sure my fiancé didn’t realize until after the wedding while I was confronting them.”

“I was already upset but her joke just made it 10x worse and I told everybody I was going to cancel the wedding.”

“My family told me I couldn’t do that because people would talk and my future in-laws wouldn’t be happy about it.”

“But I told them I didn’t care and they could tell everybody why I never had a wedding ceremony.”

“My parents are telling me not to cancel the wedding as I would regret it in the long run.”

“And it would be embarrassing for our family and me for it to be cancelled now but I’m not backing down.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“NTA- but have your wedding just uninvite your family.” ~ BattleKitten17

“NTA and why have you not just done this.”

“Cancel invites for whoever is in on this joke, hire security and make sure they are escorted out if they show up.”  ~ Foolish5678

“I am kinda with you, but honestly OP sounds a bit too immature to get married yet.”

“That their immediate response to their family hurting them is to also hurt themselves (stupid english language. OP is hurting OP in response to the family hurting OP).”

“Not really a healthy response.”

“Didn’t even ask fiancé how they feel about the now-canceled wedding?”

“Like, if I am marrying someone and they cancel the wedding to ‘stick it’ to their family.”

“I’m gonna have a whole lot of questions/problems.” ~ PokeyWeirdo12

“Her family is literally betting against her marriage lasting, screw them.”

“If she still wants to have a wedding She should definitely still have it and just uninvite everyone in on the bet.”

“Also she said hubby doesn’t care either way as long as they get married.”

“OP said a big wedding was expected as well. NTA.”

“My parents had the exact thing happen to them.”

“They eloped and cut the people that bet against their marriage out of their lives and have been together for 27 years.” 

“OP and her husband should do what they think is best for themselves.”  ~throwthewholepieaway

“Okay but also this is partly her fiancé’s decision as well.”

“She doesn’t even mention him in this decision/threat.”

“It’s not just about what the in-laws thing, it’s about what he wants as well.”

“So you tell everyone who participated you intend to uninvite them and that their behavior is making you want to cancel the whole thing and be done with it.”

“And then go home and discuss with fiancé exactly why you would like them uninvited/whether or not he would be on board with not having the big wedding.”

“And if OP feels like she can’t do that, or didn’t think to do that, they seem immature to be getting married.”

“NTA no matter what OP decides, as long as she decides it with her fiancé.” ~ jtgibggdt

“You could be right, but there could also be the feeling that it’s not worth the cost and time to do an extravagant wedding with a large chunk of people missing.”

“It would be awkward too and like you’re putting on a big production for your family’s issues.”

“Guaranteed there would be a lot of gossip.”

“In OP’s situation I would do the same.”

“The best part is marrying the person you love anyway.”

“No need to add additional stress when just doing a courthouse wedding for simplicity sake.”

“Big weddings aren’t for everyone.”

“But for a lot of people they’re just expected and not actually wanted.”

“It’s sometimes a relief to call it off and elope.”

“I happily dodged the wedding and in-law drama by getting married during Covid.”

“Best decision ever.”

“The fiancé might have already expressed his neutrality for a big wedding as well.”

“My husband did the same when we were just chatting about a future wedding years before. NTA.”  ~ nollerum

“Not everyone wants a scene and the cops showing up at their wedding.”

“Jesus is this ‘AITA’ or ‘this is my opportunity to live vicariously by telling the OP to do all the things that would be very satisfying for me as a bystander to witness with popcorn, etc?'”

“I see this on every thread.”

“This family will find a way to make OP’s wedding about them no matter what she does.”

“If she (and her fiancé) would rather just elope instead… that’s a valid solution.”

“They can have a party after and just invite the people who love and support them.”  ~ jtgibggdt

“OP don’t cancel your wedding.”

“Hire security and keep your jerkface family OUT of it.”

“NTA but I think you’d be TA to yourself and fiancé if you change your plans solely because of your family.” ~ Key-Iron-7909

“OP you sound like you’re forcing this decision.”

“You need to sit down and discuss this civilly.”

“You likely are going to cause a problem in your marriage if you charge forward like this without discussing with him.”

“That’s not what a partner does.”

“Sit down and talk.” ~ Whatthehonker

OP gave some deets…

“When I originally said it, I hadn’t spoken to him but we’ve spoken about it now and he said it was my choice.

“I’m not forcing it. He doesn’t care.”

“Having a big wedding was something expected of us and I did want a nice wedding originally.”

“Hence we planned one but he personally doesn’t care either way as long as we get married.”  

Reddit went on…

“NTA- who wants that drama at their wedding??”

“If you only care about the marriage and not the wedding, shrink your wedding to those you want to be there, do a courthouse/park/beach/backyard.”

“Save the money and use it on an epic honeymoon or future savings.”

“My husband and I did the simple wedding route, the money savings alone saved any regret…”

“13 years later, no regrets.. just happy I married my person.”  ~ bbyblu889

“NTA. It is unkind that your family was all standing around making bets on when your marriage would end.”

“Though I do think you should take a quick second to analyze whether or not they are saying anything of merit.”

“If you do think there’s a glimmer of truth that the man you are marrying want someone to fit a role in his life, rather than wanting to marry you.”

“Perhaps you should make a more firm hold on the wedding plans.”

“If you do want to move forward with marrying him, the metric you need to consider is are enough of your friends and family on his side coming that it would be worth still having the wedding?”

“If you disinvited all of your family who participated in this.”

“Would there still be enough people for you to have a fun event?”

“If not, do a courthouse wedding with your in-laws.”

“And then just have a party with those people.”

“You’re still having a ceremony that you’re in-laws can see, and you don’t have to involve your family.” ~ JCBashBash

“NTA But why are you having the wedding in the first place?”

“If it’s for you, then why not just tell your family they are no longer welcome?”

“And otherwise cut them out of your life!”

“If it’s for them, cancel it period, it’s a ton of money to meet social expectations.” ~ numtini

“NTA. When I was 46, I married my husband who was 33.”

“Both sides of the family and all my co-workers joked that he would regret marrying an older woman, we wouldn’t last, and I heard every cougar joke.”

“We said, screw them and got married at town hall without telling anyone.”

We’ve been married for 15 years.”  ~ 7dayweekendgirl

Well OP… Reddit wants you to wed no matter what.

As long as you’re both happy.

So do whatever wedding makes you happy.