Woman Refuses To Let Struggling Schizophrenic Sister Move In Even Though She Has The Space

John Curtis
Mon, 13 Apr 2026 13:30:02 +0000
Sister, Schizophrenic, Struggling, Move-in, Refuse, Family-drama, Mental-health

We'd always like to think that when we find ourselves in a bind, our family will come to our rescue.

Sadly, this is never a guarantee.

As sometimes, the help we need is simply more than our family can provide.

In some more extreme cases, our family might also feel we may not be worthy of the help we need.

The sister of Redditor boardingyard was making an effort to bounce back from a tough time and turned to the original poster (OP) to help her.

While the OP was, for the most part, capable of providing this help, she was less than eager to do so and planned on turning her sister down.

Having some guilt about this decision, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for not wanting my schizophrenic sister living with me even tho I have the space?"

The OP explained why she was not interested in helping her sister out:

"I (mid 20’s F[emale] ) have a sister “Mandy” (early 40’s F) who has schizophrenia."

"We’re not very close because she met her then husband and left to live in Europe when I was very young."

"Our relationship was Skype calls or messages since then."

"Have seen her twice in person since she left."

"For context, I had a pretty rough childhood."

'My mom was emotionally and psychologically abusive and I spent most of my early years up to young adulthood taking care of others, from children to adults."

"Moving out and becoming independent was a huge deal for me."

"Spent years working on my mental health and am finally in a good place and living the life I always dreamed of filled with peace, quiet, stability and love."

"I am very proud of the life I’ve been able to create for me and my S.O. who has been my rock throughout this entire issue."

"My sister’s life however has become the complete opposite."

"After her divorce things went pretty downhill for her unfortunately and her mental health has been not okay."

"She’s been in and out of hospitals and was diagnosed with schizophrenia."

"Which if you know anything about it it’s a very difficult disability if not treated properly."

"She denies her diagnosis, refuses medication and has lead to her becoming homeless, a missing person, an unpredictable being due to her erratic behavior and giving signs of life every couple of months or so to ask for money with little to no explanation on her well being or current situation."

"Recently, after six months on not knowing about her she reached out and for the first time since our countless efforts to come home, she asked to come back home."

"Mind you we live in the *continent* of America so It would be very expensive to bring her back because she legally cannot travel unsupervised."

"We all have a bit of debt now from previous attempts to try to get her back and/or giving her the money she’s asked whenever she does give signs of life, but would do it again if it meant she’s safe and has a roof over her head."

"Problem is no one can really take her in."

"My dad has serious health issues and is also taking care of his mom."

"Her mom lives in a tiny studio has her own serious health issues as well."

"My other sister Stacy is a single mom and is scared of having Mandy around her child due to her unpredictable behavior."

"Somehow that’s lead to me being the best choice since I don’t have kids and live in a three bedroom 2 bathroom house with my S.O and our cat."

"But honestly… I don’t want to. I finally have the peace I’ve worked so hard to get to become yet again someone else’s caretaker."

"I don’t want to disrupt the life I have been able to build now that I’m finally free, stable and for the first time… happy."

"On top of the debt I’ve accumulated to tried to help her in the past lol."

"I feel guilty because she’s my sister and I know she needs help."

"But I feel like it would be at cost of my own mental health and the life it took me so long and hard to build."

"So, AITA and how do I tell my family?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

NTA - Not The A**hole

YTA - You're The A**hole

NAH - No A**holes Here

ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**Hole for refusing to take her sister in.

Everyone agreed this was not a matter of space, but simply that the OP's sister needed more help than the OP could feasibly provide:

"NTA."

"Having literal space doesn’t mean you’re qualified or equipped."

"Simply say you cannot."

"No other explanation."

"She will need Adult Protective Services or something to that effect (likely several other services but I don’t know what those would be)."

"She might even be better off in her current country."- lavasca

"NTA."

"Do not light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm."- KettlebellBabe

"She denies her diagnosis, refuses medication."

"NTA."

"It's one thing to have that condition, accepting it and start treatment."

"But actively denying you have it and refusing medication?"

"nuh uh f*ck that."

"She's a danger to herself and others until she starts treatment."- ScholarOfTheFirstGub

"NTA."

"Do not ruin your life for anyone."

"She is not your child or responsibility."

"You are finally free of the toxic family you were forced to endure as a child."

"You’re an adult now."

"Protect your peace & your life with your husband."

"Your sister will find & accept real help if & when she’s ready."

"Do not let her or anyone else drag you down."- bumbalarie

"NTA."

"Don't get into that situation, you'll never get out of it."-- Bill___A

The OP later returned with an update, sharing the temporary solution she reached with her family, and thanking those who took the time to comment:

"Thank you all so much for your kind words, comments, advice, support and opinions! "

"Me and my family have spoken very briefly so it’s not a huge update or the final update but we did chat."

"No, I am not gonna take my sister."

"If she stays with me it would be at most two days my S.O agrees."

"Genuinely not more than that I don’t care."

"My family agreed and understood so we’re good on that thankfully."

"I know that was the main concern."

"So far my dad is the only one open to the idea of her coming back and is open into only bringing her back if she accepts her diagnosis, drinks her meds and is willing to go to a home, be an inpatient, or in a facility."

"But he rather have her close supervised than far and not know anything."

"He understands it’s an expense and it’s willing to do anything to help my sister."

"By the way my dad is awesome and has always been that supportive of the three of us."

"When I had my own struggles, he was the person who told me he believed in me and he didn’t give up on me and knew I’d figure it out, he also took me to the hospital and when I finally moved out from my mom’s was the first person to celebrate and buy me appliances for my apartment and would buy me groceries every now and then or give me money for gas etc."

"Still up to this day shows up randomly with groceries just in case I’m tight with money and am too scared to ask for help."

"So I know he would go above and beyond for my sister too."

"However I feel like my sister would take advantage of that and I don’t know how to go on about that he made a comment of financing his house if it’s necessary and I’m incredibly against that."

"My dad is in his 70’s and I just want him to retire and enjoy whatever life he has left hopefully a lot."

"Stacy and her mom (Mandy and Stacy have the same mom) both agree it would be better for her to stay exactly where she is but are open to the idea of bringing her back home in the future if she’s in a better place or more self aware."

"Thank you for those of you who have messaged privately and offered help, you how no idea how much it means to me and my family."

"Thank you also for caring for my future husband and my cat."

"They are both very grateful XD."

"Will update when we make a decision!"

"But just wanted to share for the time being."

"Oh and another thing, a lot of people saying that due to our time apart 'she means nothing to me'."

"That’s still my sister and while no, we’re not close now, we were when I was little."

"I still love her very very much so and feel horrible that she’s in this situation."

"Because of the distance I’ve had from her and how I’ve also gone through my share of struggles so early in my life, I have become the one that talks from a realistic perspective and not just wishful thinking."

"My dad in particular has been extremely grateful for that side of me."

"To be fair he’s the one that I’m worried about the most, more than Mandy tbh."

"It’s been difficult to see his health decline because of the situation."

It's clear that Maddy is someone badly in need of help.

Not the sort of help her family can provide, however.

If Maddy wants to get her life back on track, she will need professional help.

Then, too, it is never selfish to say no to something that you know will put your own health and well-being at risk.