Losing weight is always a challenge.

Millions of people struggle with weight issues every single day.

It can be the cause of a lot of stress in life.

Weight issues can also stir up a lot of relationship drama.

Talking about weight in a relationship can be a very awkward situation.

Redditor Interesting-Round852 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

They asked:

"AITA for pointing something out and 'fat shaming' my partner?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"My G[irl]F[riend] has started trying to be healthier and lose weight."

"She doesn't like how she looks, and she is overweight, so she's trying to make better choices and lose weight."

"She's cut out a lot of unhealthy snacks she used to eat, such as chocolate biscuits, crisps, cookies, etc., and she's replaced them with alternatives."

"The problem is she's replaced them with snacks that are still calorie-dense."

"Shes eating more peanut butter, honey roasted nuts, etc., and she's having quite large portions of these when she has them."

"She was talking the other day about how she's glad to be making better choices, but she's confused that she hasn't been losing weight."

"I mentioned to her that a lot of the snacks she's eating are still quite high in calories so while they might be better for her than what she used to eat, she's still eating a lot of them and they are likely to have more calories in than what she used to snack on so to lose weight, so she'll still need to cut down on what she's snacking on, as she's still snacking quite a lot."

"She said I was fat-shaming her and telling her she's eating too much, but I just pointed out I was just explaining to her why she hasn't lost weight after changing some of her eating habits."

"She said again I was fat-shaming her, but I disagree."

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA for 'fat shaming' when offering advice?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA. My husband has put on a good 50 lbs since retiring from the military, and was complaining that his shirts didn't fit."

"My response was, 'Well, you should probably cut the alcohol down and get back to the gym.'"

"He accused me of fat-shaming him."

"Like, what am I going to say?"

"Blame it on the dryer?"

"I have eyes."

"It's an impossible conversation."

"Sorry, OP. :)" ~ another_vodka_please

"NTA. In these situations, the first thing you say is 'Am I helping, or listening?'"

"Figure out what they want." ~ Tazmosis85

"Your girlfriend is making better food quality choices, but she has not recognised the calorific values of her improved diet."

"You did her a favor."

"Certainly not fat shaming."

"It might be helpful if your girlfriend weighs her new snacks and calculates the calorie content of her portions until she has a better idea of the calories she's consuming." ~ Is-this-rabbit

"I agree that weighing food would be a reality check for the girlfriend, but I would tread with extreme caution when recommending this to someone."

"I went down that path in my early 20s and ended up with an eating disorder."

"Once I started weighing and measuring everything, it was very hard for me to stop." ~ friend-of-potatoes

"NTA, she needs to understand how fat loss works."

"She needs to eat fewer calories than she burns."

"Just changing the food she eats will do nothing if she doesn't change the portion sizes."

"Eating 500 calories of chocolate is no different from 500 calories of apples."

"It's all still 500 calories." ~ ConclusionUnusual320

"NTA. Her body is probably reeling with shock after changing diet, and so the realization that she has to give up more is probably making her upset because that also reveals how much she was unknowingly overeating."

"It's not a fun thing to realize."

"She was feeling accomplished and happy for eating better, and you brought the unfortunate truth that while she is eating better, it 'isnt enough.'"

"However, you didn't do anything wrong here; you were just the bearer of bad news." ~ TheSkyElf

"NTA. She's clearly sensitive about her weight, but it doesn't sound like you were being mean."

"If she wants to lose weight, she needs to know that portion control is as important as what she's eating."

"From a guy who is working on losing weight and would love to have 4 rice cakes smeared with a heap of peanut butter, but only has two lightly coated ones. LMAO." ~ TheOneReclaimer

"NTA. Honey-coated nuts would be sooo calorie-dense."

"Respectfully, as someone who is also trying to lose weight and loves honey-roasted nuts." ~ No-Blood-9680

"NTA, that isn't fat shaming at all."

"I was just information, which I thought was tactfully given in response to her question."

"Sounds like she's just embarrassed and frustrated at her lack of progress and is getting defensive instead of taking accountability."

"If she doesn't want to believe what you're saying, suggest you both start using a calorie tracking app, like My Fitness Pal (basic version is free) or Noom."

"Then she can see for herself how her choices are affecting her goals." ~ AlriRayne

"NTA. You aren't fat-shaming her; you're explaining why something she's expecting to happen isn't happening."

"If she's still mad at you, perhaps apologize for upsetting her (which I assume wasn't your intention) and suggest looking into better snack options together."

"There is such a thing as too much of a good thing."

"Now, to both of you: Lashing out like this is not healthy communication."

"Next time either of you is unsure if the other meant something the way you're interpreting it, ask."

"'Did you mean for that to sound like you're fat-shaming me?'"

"Then, you need to keep an open mind and listen."

"'No, not at all! You asked why you're not losing weight even though you're eating better, and I think that's why. You're definitely eating better foods, just maybe too much of those foods specifically, not overall.'"

"This will help you communicate better and help your relationship in the long run." ~ Ill-Attention-173

"NTA. That isn't what 'Fat shaming' is."

"You did nothing wrong by pointing out her faulty thinking."

"You weren't shaming her; you were giving information."

"Huge difference!"

"She needs to see a nutritionist and therapist." ~ AuntNicoliosis

"NTA - I have the exact same problem with my wife."

"Wants to lose weight, does all the things, but then mass consumes her 'Healthy Options.'"

"I've tried to explain to her it's only healthier to a point, but... Yeah."

"So. No. NTA and I fully sympathize." ~ Mr_Flibbles_ESQ

"Same. My wife gained weight after our daughter was born two years ago and has struggled to keep it off."

"She doesn't eat much to begin with, but she eats a bunch of calorie-dense 'healthy food.'"

"She also falls for the protein gimmick everyone is doing, where they say it has protein or high protein, but fail to advertise it's 2-3x the calories you want."

"And then every time she's 'on a diet,' she immediately reverts to cutting carbs, not calories, which turns me into a broken record trying to explain carbs are mostly fine, it's the calories that need to be monitored."

"At this point, I just need to pay someone to tell her because obviously she isn't going to listen to me."

"Also, she falls for these 'viral recipes' all the time, and it annoys me how many times we're trying out something random she saw on TikTok or Instagram when I've gotten to the point where I can finally eat the same thing every day." ~ _nick_at_nite_

"NTA. But this is one of those places where angels fear to tread."

"Next time she brings it up, you can suggest that she talk to a professional about it instead of you." ~ Hoistedonyrownpetard

"NTA I guess, but it's a vulnerable moment, understand that better and you probably don't even get that reaction."

"Don't attack people who are honestly trying, and I doubt that was your intention, but it was the effect."

"Instead, maybe try and suggest snacks high in fiber or drinking water before eating, eating more slowly, and please do try and join her on that journey."

"Be on her team, which you are, but she's the one needing to feel it more." ~ omfgsupyo

"NTA, but ask first if she wants your opinion."

"I know whenever someone comments on stuff like this, it discourages me rather than  encourages."

"I think she just lashed out at you because she probably wants support rather than criticism." ~ fullofuselessthought

"NTA that is not fat shaming, and you are correct, if she continues down this road, she won't see much progress anytime soon."

"But now it's up to her to educate herself on what you told her, and either follow through or ignore the advice."

"If she ever complains to you that she's still not losing weight, then you can reiterate your opinion, but until then, let her be and realize the hard truth on her own." ~ PsychologicalPlum961

"She needs to track her food."

"That's the only way she can see exactly what she's eating and how much."

"Get her a really nice food scale as a gift, maybe one that connects directly to an app."

"She likely is having this reaction mostly because deep down she knows you're right, but it's easier to get mad at you than admit she's overeating still." ~ wandershock

"NTA - Changing what you eat to 'healthier' foods can mean less cholesterol and things like that, but calories are still calories."

"I'm losing weight by keeping a food diary."

"And it's working."

"It's not about starving myself or anything, either."

"It keeps me from snacking from boredom, rather than hunger, because I want to hit my calorie targets for the day."

"I'm eating healthier foods too, but if I were eating as much of those as I was before I started tracking calories, I wouldn't have lost a pound."

"It's not fat shaming to advise someone on why their dietary adjustment isn't working." ~ inrideo

"NTA. You didn't criticize her body."

"You just pointed out she may be getting more calories than she thinks." ~ notdorisday

Reddit understands what you're trying to do and say, OP.

Your GF has to process this in her own way.

You were just pointing out facts.

The weight loss struggle is REAL.

Maybe she should talk to a weight counselor or trainer.

Good Luck.

Breastfeeding and weaning are topics that, for some reason, people feel like they can comment on with unsolicited, unwanted, often unqualified opinions.

Parents are criticized if they don't breastfeed or if they do breastfeed. They're criticized if they breastfeed too long or not long enough.

What these critics often overlook or ignore is that babies are miniature humans and humans are individuals. What works for one person may not be right for another.

A father dealing with a know-it-all sister turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback.

Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.

Normal-Historian2180 asked:

"AITAH for mansplaining breastfeeding?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"My wife and I have an eight-month-old baby. For various reasons, we are not feeding him commercially produced baby food."

"We eat meals together as a family and, in addition to breastfeeding, he has access to what we eat (usually eggs, avocado, tofu, salmon, steamed broccoli, lentils, etc...) We let him choose what to try or if he wants to try anything at all."

"My sister has been saying for two months that our baby needs to eat baby food, but that simply isn't true. Our pediatrician said babies can be exclusively breastfed for up to a year."

"We got into an argument about it yesterday, and my sister said babies need to have baby food introduced to them at six months, that they can't skip from breast milk to adult food without that crucial step."

"I told her that she is wrong and they can. Our baby eats eggs quite happily. She said babies shouldn't eat dairy before a year. I said eggs aren't dairy."

"My sister got really frustrated during our argument and asked me if I really thought that I, as a man, understand breastfeeding better than her. I said that I do think so, because I've been watching my wife do it for eight months, and my sister doesn't have kids."

"I also said it doesn't matter if my sister is the world's leading expert on breastfeeding, because my wife and I are in charge of how we wean our son, not my sister. She doesn't get a say."

"My sister said she couldn't believe I had the balls to mansplain breastfeeding to her. I said to believe it, and she didn't like that."

"Am I the a**hole?"

"I feel like she should keep her opinion to herself."

The OP later added:

"My pediatrician said eggs are OK at six months. It's the first thing we introduced.

"We also put some peanut oil in the broccoli. We introduced tofu. The only allergen he hasn't been introduced to yet is animal dairy and some tree nuts."

"Honey, obviously, he can't eat because of botulism."

"Baby food is made out of baby food obviously (I'm just kidding). My sister knows what it's made out of—the same stuff as adult food. Maybe it's just cognitive dissonance for her?"

"She's not a medical professional or a nutritionist."

"If he was not getting all his necessary nutrients his pediatrician would have noticed. Right now everything he needs is in breast milk."

"We are hoping by making it his decision to eat the food he will develop affinity for it and not be a picky eater. That's why we are also waiting until he already likes veggies before introducing fruit."

"My sister just doesn't agree with what we are doing. We breastfed exclusively up until six months (as all experts agree is necessary) and at six months we started giving him access to our food as well (no choking hazards)."

"We also introduced him to peanut oil right away to prevent allergy development, which pissed her off. She said he shouldn't eat allergens until he is two. Well, she's wrong according to our pediatrician."

"Anyway, at first our son wasn't interested in the food. He would see us eat it and grab it and squeeze it, but that was it. He put some in his mouth and gummed it, but didn't really eat it."

"All of this is normal and part of his develop. But my sister said we needed to be shoving carrot purees in his mouth."

"We don't have to do that. In time he started eating tiny amounts of scrambled eggs and salmon and avocado spears. Now he will try most things, but still mostly drinks my wife's milk. When he wants to eat more he will eat. For now he is happy with mostly breastmilk."

"My sister is convinced that all of this is abnormal and he is not eating more because he needs commercially produced baby food."

"He doesn't need to eat more right now because he is eating and thriving. Drinking his mother's milk is eating. It has all the nutrition he needs right now."

Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
• INFO - more information needed

Redditors decided the OP was not wrong and not mansplaining (NTA).

"NTA. This wasn't mansplaining, it was you setting a boundary about your own child while correcting misinformation, and your sister didn't like being told she was wrong or that she didn't get a say."

"The mistake, if any, was framing it as 'I understand this better than you' instead of just 'this is what our pediatrician advised and this is our decision,' but that's a tone issue, not a moral one."

"She's reacting to being shut out, not to your gender, and she needs to accept that parents get to make these calls, not siblings." ~ Numerous-Cup-3279

"Right…like none of what OP aid could be considered mansplaining…his sister is just being rude and OP is standing up for his wife. NTA." ~ HUBOI25

"And really, I'm all for men being educated on a woman's body and how it works, especially around reproduction if they've had a child together."

"I think there's every chance that OP knows more about how boobs and lactation work than his sister does, and that's a good thing (for OP & OP's wife)." ~ VividFiddlesticks

"Looking at myself from before I had a baby and how my childfree friends are it's highly likely an involved father knows more about breastfeeding."

"In addition to that, this issue is more about children's nutrition than breastfeeding. Again something where it's highly likely an involved parent knows more about that than a childless person no matter their gender." ~ ZwartVlekje

"Just because you are a man, and you are explaining something (factual and accurate) to a woman, that doesn't automatically I make it mansplaining. Maybe you should mansplain to your sis what mansplaining is. And isn't. NTA." ~ National_Pension_110

"Mansplaining has to do with a man explaining a topic to a woman who has more direct experience and knowledge (often academic and/or professional) about the subject than the man does."

"It's not just a man explaining any topic to a woman."

"The sister doesn't have any training or experience that would make her opinions more qualified than the baby's parents and pediatrician." ~ doktorcrash

"The sister's argument is basically 'I have breasts, so my unqualified opinion trumps anything my brother thinks.' That's asinine.

"I have a vagina, a uterus, and everything else required to get pregnant and give birth. But they don't magically make me an expert on childbirth. A man who was in classes and labor/delivery with his wife would definitely know more about the process than childfree, never been pregnant me." ~ MohawMais

"Based off the title, I thought it was going to be that OP tried to explain breastfeeding to his wife who had already been doing it for 8 months. That would be mainsplaining, not whatever this is with his childless sister." ~ hyp3rpop

"This was just regular splaining."

"And the sister clearly needed it."

"Next time, tell her to talk to a professional. Maybe they could use her expertise." ~ DesireeThymes

"It's almost like baby food is mashed human food."

"NTA, no mansplaining here. Your sister is out of line. Having ovaries does not mean she carries special baby knowledge on her chromosomes."

"Babies are humans who eat the same food as every other human." ~ tulipvonsquirrel

"Like 'baby food' was invented in the 1860's according to the internet. The idea that the sister has that babies have to eat that first is just silly—what did all the babies eat in the EONS before the invention of baby food?" ~ BlackVoidCat13

"What's the difference between eating some steamed broccoli off a plate, and having someone spoon pureed broccoli into the baby? The jars of baby food are just convenient."

"We wound up making our own mashed sweet potatoes for our girls, and they loved it as babies. Then I would steam other foods and mush it small to feed to them until they got old enough to eat more on their own." ~ Eureka05

"So you're introducing solids through Baby Led Weaning in addition to breastfeeding. That's absolutely age appropriate. Your sister is misinformed and instead of learning from you, she's digging her heels in the sand."

"Signed, mom of 4, with 8 month old twins who are currently BLW and breastfeeding."

"You're doing great, keep it up. Hopefully your sister will come around and chill out. NTA." ~ MegglestheMegalodon

While OP's sister might have good intentions, her approach and her respect for her nibling's parents is poor.

It's time to back off and let the parents parent their baby.

If there's one time where you get to have things "your way," as it were, it's your birthday.

That doesn't mean that everyone you celebrate the day with will enjoy your decisions.

But as it's your birthday, and not theirs, then it's not their place to say anything.

That doesn't stop some people from expressing their opinions.

Redditor ConfidenceSilver2215 was in the process of planning their birthday, and knew exactly what they wanted to do.

Unfortunately, the original poster (OP)'s stepfather was not thrilled with this decision, claiming it would be challenging to the point of impossible for him to enjoy himself.

This led him to ask the OP to change their plans, which the OP flatly refused.

Wondering if they were wrong for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITAH).

Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.

The OP asked fellow Redditors:

"AITAH for not changing my birthday plans to accommodate step dad's allergies?"

The OP explained why their stepfather was not looking forward to celebrating their birthday with them:

"I will be turning 29 in February."

"I was raised catholic but would consider myself spiritual now, although I do attend mass occasionally."

"If you weren't aware- Catholics have a belief you can't eat meat on Fridays or Ash Wednesday in lent."

"My parents never forced this on me, and I never saw the logic, so I have never followed it."

"But, I am not a big meat eater, so usually I inadvertently would end up following the rule lol."

"My parents got divorced when I was in high school."

"My mom got remarried a little under two years ago after a quick 6-month engagement, and knowing each other for a year."

"My stepdad is a hardcore catholic who will not eat meat on Ash Wednesday (my birthday falls on it this year) and also has a shellfish allergy."

"In lies the problem- my mom and stepdad say I'm being selfish for not changing my birthday plans because the restaurant I've gone to every year since I was 16 will not have a non-meat non-shellfish option."

"I tried explaining that I do feel bad, but then he'll just have to have an app and salad or something like that."

"My mom feels I should change my plans to accommodate her husband (who, btw, we are not close with at all and has often crossed many boundaries with myself, my husband, or our young daughter)."

"AITAH?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to change their birthday plans to accommodate their stepfather.

While some were surprised that a restaurant wouldn't have any vegetarian or non-shellfish options, they also agreed that the OP deserved to spend their birthday however they wanted to, and the OP simply had to deal with that:

"Mom, I love you."

"This is my birthday celebration, and I am celebrating at this restaurant."

"When it is the stepfather's birthday, he can celebrate it at the restaurant of his choosing."

"I'll understand if stepfather is not able to attend, but I am firm in my decision to celebrate at this restaurant."

"Just as I have since I was 16. It's a tradition."

"I am not going to discuss this anymore."

"Please let me know if he'll be attending or not so I can ensure the reservation reflects the correct number of guests."- Personal-Y

"You've had the same tradition for 13 years, and he's only been a part of your mum's life for 2 1/2."

"He's not your stepdad, really, is he?"

"If you were 26 when they met."

"He has no authority within the family."

"And he's being ridiculous and controlling if he can't find a single dish that's vegetarian or fish but not shellfish."- crispycat40

"Are you trying to tell me the restaurant doesn't have a single vegetarian option on the menu?"

"That's a highly unusual restaurant in this day and age."- PetersMapProject

"So this strict follower of the religion won't bend that rule, but he married a divorced woman."

"I am not anyone's judge, but I don't understand why these people want to choose what to be a stickler about."- mcmurrml

"'We'll miss you' and keep it pushing."

"While I'm not one now, I've been a vegetarian for many years."

"I can't think of a single restaurant I or my friends have gone to where I couldn't find something to eat."

"I can't think of a pasta dish where they aren't okay removing the protein."

"At a steakhouse, two or three sides, mashed potato or baked potato, greens or green beans, etc is more than enough."

"Even a Brazilian steakhouse has vegetarian options."- TALKTOME0701

"He could always stay home while you go out."- MrsNuggs

"NTA."

"You have invited them and if he doesn't want to come, it is fine."

"You don't have to accommodate your stepdad."- BerneDoodleLover24

"NTA."

"It's your birthday."

"Also, in reality, he is not your stepfather so much as he is your mother's husband."

"He did not parent you."

"They married when you were 27."

"If your mother's husband insists on making your birthday plans about him, then he can stay home if he can't figure out how to add to your celebration in a positive way."- Due_Challenge_1777

"The whole point of fasting is to sacrifice, not find a loophole."

"He has a shellfish allergy, not a fish allergy."

"Bring on the cod."- jensmith20055002

"Religious rules are for the person practicing them."

"Period."

"NTA."- mela_99

"Your mother is a divorced catholic and they are worried about eating meat?"- Consistent_Low2080

"NTA."

"Interesting that he's a hardcore Catholic who married someone who was divorced."

"It seems like he's able to pick and choose what he wants to adhere to."- crossstitchbeotch

"NTA."

"Whose birthday is it again?"

"Yours, not his. If he is that distraught over it, he can bring his own safe food."- Any_Armadillo7098

"How can a hard-core Catholic be married to a divorced woman?"- TigerBelmont

"I turned 21 on Ash Wednesday."

"Know what doesn't have meat in it?"

"Alcohol! It all worked out."

"Have the celebration you want."

"NTA."- MizLucinda

"Hi, Roman Catholic here."

"The fish thing was the church's way of control, never actually about God."

"Your stepdad can eat appetizers, salad, soup, and dessert."

"He could also get something beforehand."

"You are continuing a tradition, not asking him to eat something he is allergic to or break his religious beliefs."- azurdee

"He got remarried."

"He can't be that hard-core Catholic...just saying."-
Certain_Candidate248

"NTA."

"Tell Mom you're not changing your plans to accommodate him."

"Remind your mother that in the past there have been issues with your stepfather not respecting your boundaries and while you appreciate his adherence to his religion, this is your birthday and you will celebrate where you wish."- SubstantialQuit2653

"The no meat thing is just a control thing."

"It's bullsh*t."- Commercial_Smile_654

"Stepdad can stay home and not ruin your birthday plans."

"NTA."- Daisytru

"He can do what every vegan and vegetarian has had to do at least once and 'just get the salad'."

"Abstinence and sacrifice are literally the point of Ash Wednesday."

"Sounds like an opportunity to show off how devout he is (laughs in irony)."-Remote_Bumblebee2240

"'We understand that it doesn't work out this year'."

"And keep repeating as necessary."

"And the expression is 'herein lies'."- streamconscious-ness

"Easy solution is to have your birthday dinner as normal with everyone that can attend, and then a second dinner with your mom/step-dad another day."

"Not sure how your parents are, but with my divorced parents having a birthday dinner with both of them together would be a nightmare anyways."- PettyYetiSpaghetti

"NTA."

"From the sounds of it, he doesn't even deserve an invitation."

"Enjoy your birthday."

"Religious people can ruin everything and anything."

"It's what they do."

"Don't let him ruin your birthday."- TaxiLady69

The OP later returned with an update, offering some further insight on their situation:

"Someone commented that my mom and stepdad are in fact exempt from Lenten abstinence and fasting on Ash Wednesday because of their age, so my stepdad could in fact order whatever meat he wanted."

"I texted my mom this, and her response was 'well, we still like to on Ash Wednesday'."

"So it's purely her trying to control situations as usual."- ConfidenceSilver2215

One can't help but wonder if the restaurant really doesn't have an option the OP's stepfather can eat, or if he'll just be jealous of what everyone else is eating?

Something particularly silly, considering it doesn't even apply to him at the end of the day!

Either way, if the OP wants to celebrate her birthday at this particular restaurant, that is her right.

And if the OP's stepfather has any interest in improving his relationship with them, he'd better find a way of dealing with it...

Some roommates overstep and take other people's food without asking.

Other roommates refuse to share and keep their food under lock and key.

There is a rare set-up where everyone smiles and shares everything.

But life isn't "Three's Company."

Food is food... it can be very personal.

Redditor SugarDaddyX2 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

They asked:

"AITA for not letting my roommate eat my groceries after they 'forgot their wallet?'"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"I live with a roommate who came home late and said they had forgotten their wallet at work."

"They asked if they could just grab some of my food, 'this one time.'"

"I said no."

"I don't like lending food, it's not just money, it's that I plan my meals and buy specific things for myself."

"They got really annoyed and said I was being 'petty' and 'not a friend.'"

"They ended up ordering takeout but kept sulking for the rest of the night."

"The next day, they told our other roommate I was being selfish, and now everyone's giving me side eyes.'

"I don't feel like I did anything wrong."

"I'm happy to help in emergencies, but forgetting your wallet isn't really an emergency."

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.

"If they can order takeout, why not just pay you back?

"Sounds like they wanted free food..."

"NTA for standing up for yourself and your pre-prepped food." ~ Purple-Haku

"They probably wanted food that was already ready."

"They didn't want to have to cook anything that they had at their house, which is why they ordered takeout instead." ~ Ericameria

"OP didn't just say they had random groceries and said no."

"They actually meal plan and buy groceries accordingly."

"There isn't 'spare food' in the fridge; it was all accounted for."

"Giving the roommate that food would cause a disruption in the OP's plan for at least a few days, if not the week."

"And just 'paying OP back' is insufficient recompense for the inconvenience."

"And what the hell does 'forgetting my wallet at work' have to do with eating a roommate's food?"

"They were still able to order takeout (presumably via an app)."

"If they hadn't forgotten their wallet, what would they have done instead?"

"Gone grocery shopping?"

"There is probably an app for that, too." ~ TalFidelis

"He was not in need as he was able to order takeout."

"It was selfish of the roommate to put OP in this situation."

"As someone who plans meals and relies on leftovers, it's absolutely infuriating if someone messes with your plans." ~ bouldering_fan

"Patterns start with a first time."

"If you've left your wallet behind somewhere but can order takeout, you can order groceries."

"I don't quite understand how the roommate leaving their wallet somewhere means they don't have groceries and need some of OP's."

"I'm leaning towards this never happened and is a bot post."

"It hits too many of the typical things for a bot."

"You are not entitled to another person's anything."

"You can always ask, and the person can always say no."

"OP had a reason for saying no."

"YOU might not agree with that reason, but it was reason enough for OP." ~ Kayback2

"But they weren't in need."

"It wasn't like the roommate ran out of money; he just wanted to do a power move or something."

"He was clearly capable of ordering takeout, and I suspect that even if he forgot his wallet, he didn't forget his phone."

"Most people have some sort of digital wallet with their debit and credit cards loaded onto it these days, so it's not as if he was on dire need."

"And if he was really that hungry and in need (actual need), then he would have just eaten the sandwich/ toast unless that was something he was allergic to."

"OP is NTA because the roommate was never 'in need.'"

"Would it have been nice for OP to offer their food? Sure!"

"Do they have to when a roommate has other means of getting their own food, or do they have to in general?

"No, they don't!" ~ WhiteAppleRum

"NTA, while I understand a roommate not having their wallet... did they literally not have ANY food in the house to eat when they got home?"

"It sounds manipulative to me." ~ moonchylde

"NTA - you are within your rights to say now, but to expect no consequences of said actions is just silly, not that I'm saying those deserve consequences to begin with.'

"But next time, if you no longer feel comfortable saying no or wish to actually share food, I'd demand them to replace the items they ate by the next day, and if they don't, then that is their one and only warning, and they wouldn't share again." ~ somebodyhere11

"I just can't imagine a scenario where a friend or roommate needed help or food, I had the means to help them, yet I refused."

"If it's someone who constantly abuses your generosity, or if it's someone who refuses to reciprocate, then ok."

"But this was never implied."

"This is how people build a community.'

'You don't know it now, but there will be a time when you desperately need someone's help."

"Whether it's food, money, a ride, or someone to assist or visit you in the hospital, you'll need to rely on others."

"Don't burn all of your bridges because you think you have the moral high ground." ~ lwebb5520

"You're NTA for it, but you're also not really being kind."

"It doesn't seem like that big of an ask if it's the first time, which makes it so you're someone I probably wouldn't wanna be friends with, so I kinda get where your roommates are coming from." ~ yoloxolo

"NTA. It seems like they didn't want to spend the money or cook and thought they could have some of your food instead."

"And most people can even buy groceries online, you don't really need your wallet since banking info is also typically all on your phone now." ~ Illustrious_Crab2391

"I'm going to say NTA because you were within your rights to say no."

"But, I'd expect there to be some consequences from this."

"Your roommates will remember this moment and might not let you borrow their stuff." ~ Known-Plane7349

"NTA, who doesn't have a virtual wallet, or they could have at least used their phone to send you money, and you order what they need." ~ Prodigyjojo

"NTA. I don't understand why the roommate is so pi**y since they were able to order food."

"Like if they'd been starving and had no way to get ANYTHING to eat, then that's one thing, but they clearly were able to feed themselves.'

"I don't even care if it's just that they didn't want to spend the extra money."

"If your money is super tight, you'd better be VERY aware of where your wallet is at all times, being an adult means taking responsibility for things like that." ~ sarahmegatron

"Forgetting your wallet is an emergency, but I guess he did have other options?"

"I don't know, the strong reaction is just weird here."

"Feels like we're missing some context, like maybe he's helped you out with things, so this was your chance to reciprocate."

"Maybe he just needed the support while he was freaking out, and your response came off colder than intended."

"I guess NAH?" ~ runlikeitsdisney

"NTA. Even if they left their wallet at work, these days it is easy to do bank transfers, Cash App, etc."

"They were hoping for free food that they didn't need to cook."

"Groceries are really expensive these days, and we don't want someone to mooch off us." ~ needabook55

"NTA, if the roommate has the money to order food, then they have the resources to get groceries too."

"Maybe not a lot, but enough to hold them over until they can get their wallet. 🤷🏽‍♀️"

"It would be different if they had absolutely no money and no way to eat, then of course I think OP should help someone in need for at least one meal."

"But that's not the case; the roommate was literally able to order food, so they were good." ~ u_Ux811

"NTA. If the roommate could order food, there's no reason for them to ask you for food."

"And the entitlement is obvious because they badmouthed you for saying no instead of just accepting your answer." ~ OddImprovement6490

"As a woman, I never give men free food that I have prepared."

"It's never a one-time thing.'

"It becomes this weird sense of entitlement."

"You do it better, so you should share."

"What if I pay you to cook for me, blah, blah, blah?"

"She knows her roommate better than us, and she knows his personality."

"She told him no for a reason. NTA." ~ bluepvtstorm

"NTA, if they can order food, they can order groceries." ~ Ok-Curve-2888

"NTA, some people do share food, and some don't, and the roommate clearly had other means."

"They can side eye, but you paid and planned." ~ blackwillow-99

OP came back to chat...

"There are some things I forgot y'all."

"First, I always ask them if they need any groceries in the house when I go shopping."

"I just ask to be paid back for it, and they decline every time."

"Second, I told him we have bread for toast or a sandwich, and he decided to order takeout."

"I am getting absolutely chewed up in the comments 😂, but that's ok, I love hearing everyone's opinions and reactions and seeing more outcomes I could have or should have done and will consider doing in the future."

Most of Reddit is with you, OP.

This is your specially prepared food.

If your roommate could order food, why didn't he just do that from the start?

You may have an uncomfortable living situation for a bit.

But you had every right to protect your food.

Good Luck.

Dieting in a house full of people can be challenging. If the whole household follows the same menu, it can be easier to succeed.

But if the dieter is following a restricted menu and everyone else gets to eat the fun stuff, it can be much more tricky.

A woman trying to change her diet turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Ok_Fix_9456 asked:

"AITA for telling my mom to stop cooking for me because she keeps 'experimenting' on my food?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"So I (22, female) recently started weight loss meds, and with it comes changing my eating habits, and while I'm not sure if my ADHD has a part in all this, I have very specific preferences when I eat."

"I'm usually fairly good when it comes to eating new things, but usually when I have a preference, I stick by it and will not eat it any other way. But since I started this medication, my mom has been trying to help me with eating better."

"I love my mother very much and appreciate the effort she puts into trying to help me and do what's best, but sometimes it only causes more problems, such as now."

"For some extra information, I am not saying I was completely right for how I acted, I was just off a 22 hour shift, starving and woken up very rudely prior to eating. Nonetheless, I could have gone about it better, but it was just not my day today."

"Anyways, I came out into the kitchen and my mom made my favorite childhood food which is her spaghetti with sour cream. However, this time it was clearly different and I knew then and there I was gonna have an issue."

"To further prove my point, the second I ate it, the taste and texture was completely different, but not so horrible I wouldn't eat it. I was disappointed, but I continued eating because she made it for me."

"The moment I got upset was because my brother came down and his plate was way different from mine."

"It was the usual way she made it and the way I loved. Turns out she switched the tomato sauce for the pasta sauce, changed the noodles to whole wheat and left out the sour cream to make it healthier for me."

"I was more upset because she didn't tell me she was going to make an entire other pot just for me and with things I have previously said I didn't like. But this isn't the only time she's done it and not the only time I've told her to ask me next time.

"So I snapped and told her just don't cook for me anymore if she wasn't going to listen to my preferences and be surprised when I say I don't like the food. And then begin the 'woe is me' and guilt tripping me by saying I'm never satisfied with her, when she has in fact made many foods that I love."

"But it's trying to find alternatives that I have issues with, because she experiments with my food without asking me."

"I will admit I could have gone about it much better, and believe me being sleep deprived and hungry made me more irritated. I love my mom, but it gets so tiring repeating myself and then being made to feel like sh*t when she doesn't try to ask me before making it for me."

"So am I the a**hole?"

"I love my mom and appreciate having a mom who cares enough to want to help me, and it sucks because sometimes (maybe I'm just dramatic) it feels like she doesn't really know me because it happens so much."

"And unfortunately I have bought stuff to keep in my room, but my room doesn't have a lock that locks on the outside when I go to work, so I come back and see some are missing. Just the other day I left for work in a rush, and I came home and saw money I had was missing."

"It was $100 I was gonna use towards paying my therapy bill, but now it's gone and I'm just so tired of it all to be honest. I plan to move out eventually, but with the economy right now, god knows when that'll be!"

"I do cook for myself, but it's frustrating when the food I buy to cook for myself gets eaten before I even have a chance to cook it for what I intended to use it for."

The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.

"I snapped at my mom and told her not to cook for me anymore because I didn't like the food she made."

"Because she was going the extra mile to make food for me and try to help me better my eating habits when she doesn't have to and I made her feel bad."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).

"NTA. People 'helping' by doing what you explicitly asked them not to do is not helping. Your mom might have had good intentions to begin with, but it stopped being that when she ignored your wishes and carried on with what she deems helpful." ~ flinsbird

"I'll add that truly helping is 'What can I do for you' not 'I'm just going to do whatever the f*ck I want regardless of your input on your own needs'." ~ JustNeedSpinda

"NTA. You've told her not to mess with the food multiple times, she's messed with the food multiple times. After 20+ hours of no sleep and consistent boundary pushing, I'd be pissed too." ~ Successful_Ad1331

"If you didn't ask her to cook for you, and she didn't listen when you clearly told her your food preferences, then it really wasn't for you. It was to make herself feel a certain way." ~ SJ_Barbarian

"I would let her efforts go to waste, because at this point it's likely the only thing that will get her to stop."

"A similar thing happened with my mother, who continuously used one specific seasoning in everything she cooked. I was so sick of it, and no matter how many times I told her to stop, she still cooked with it."

"So I stopped eating her food and made my own. She would ask why, and I said 'I told you I hate X, you put X in all the food, so I'm not eating it'. Repeat that almost daily for about 2-3 weeks before she finally stopped." ~ drop_bears_unite

"Most often, the best weight loss diets are about portion control rather than the actual food ingredients (other than avoiding high salts). In fact, most successful weight loss drugs target appetite rather than metabolism."

"Maybe if you try explaining this to your mom it will help her understand that you can still eat your favorite foods, you'll just eat less of it.'

"I'm going with NAH (is that right? No AH?). She wants to help you, she's just going about it poorly, and you aren't doing anything wrong other than not communicating your feelings and appreciation as well as you could." ~ Itsjustme326

"NTA, it sounds like you have a mom problem; specifically, she refuses to take your preferences into consideration despite repeated input from you."

"She clearly doesn't take you seriously and is a tad on the narcissistic side when she cries you don't appreciate her and guilt trips you."

"If it were me, I would just not eat what she makes AT ALL and just either make my own or order out, just to piss her off, but I'm petty that way." ~ M312345

"I have ADHD and also have sensory issues surrounding food. I need a heads up that the food is different then what I am used to so I can mentally prepare for it."

"Does this suck? Absolutely. Am I being a picky pain in the ass on purpose? Absolutely not."

"NTA. But maybe start having small safe healthy ish snacks set aside so you can eat when the meal isn't what your brain is expecting." ~ postalpinup

"NTA. You've had the conversation before and she still meddles with your food. You never asked her to do this and have explicitly told her not to many times."

"She made the food objectively worse than gave it to just you. I'm assuming she didn't eat her gross pasta."

"Sure you shouldn't have snipped but you know that and this isn't a one off. You apologized but it also sounds like your mom is a bit of a narcissist so you know it's never good enough."

"I think you are right, don't have her cook for you and if she does and you don't like it just don't eat or and cook for yourself anyway." ~ Loud_et_Proud

"NTA. It's clear you didn't mean to snap at your mom the way you did. We're all guilty of snapping without meaning to and your reasons for doing so are completely valid."

"You've acknowledged you regret the way you handled things, but I think the message you conveyed was important even if it was executed not in the way you wished."

"Repeatedly ignoring your polite requests to not alter your food is disrespectful, even if she isn't meaning to be. Maybe sit down and have a proper talk with her about how it makes you feel." ~ blossominghost

OP decided to try talking to their mother again.

Accommodating certain people's diets for big gatherings can be next to impossible.

Figuring out all of the cross-contamination possibilities is stressful.

That's why a lot of people with serious dietary restrictions take it upon themselves to be in charge of their food at events.

Even when everyone is being careful, accidents happen.

Redditor Plantlvr4422 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

She asked:

"AITA? Gluten Free SIL"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"Hello, I F[emale] 22 am married to M[ale] 23 and I'll be talking about my S[ister]-I[n]-L[aw] 20."

"For context, I love to bake."

"Every holiday, I like to bring something special for our families."

"Typically, we spend it with my husband's family, but sometimes we will change dates around and have holidays a week before when everyone is free."

"My SIL suddenly decided to go gluten-free last Thanksgiving, a week before she messaged the family group chat asking everyone to change their recipes to accommodate her."

"I don't know anything about gluten-free baking and had already had my recipe picked for a month and was excited to make it."

"I messaged her privately that I was uncomfortable accommodating her, as I wasn't sure how to safely prepare gluten-free food and didn't have enough time to change plans."

"Normally, I wouldn't mind, but I know gluten allergies and sensitivity can be very specific."

"Instead of messaging me directly, she started sending TikToks to the family group chat, showing how to prepare gluten-free food and how cross-contamination works."

"Most of the videos showed people saying stuff like 'this is why people with gluten sensitivity won't eat your food,' and showed a cabinet that had bread in it."

"Which I do understand, but again- I'm absolutely not prepared to de-gluten my whole house."

"I responded that I would try my best to accommodate her and switched my recipe just to appease my husband's family."

"Thanksgiving rolled around, and I made an actually impressive gluten-free (mostly I think) dish."

"Everyone loved it - except for my SIL."

"She made a scene, saying that I didn't respect her enough, my food was disgusting, and she refused to even try it."

"I tried not to take it to heart as she can be difficult sometimes, but I definitely left feeling embarrassed."

"This year, due to the family travel schedule, we had our Thanksgiving three days ago."

"SIL hadn't mentioned anything about doing gluten-free food this year, and quite frankly, I wasn't willing to accommodate her after the scene she made last time."

"I made a regular dish and brought it."

"To my surprise, she actually ate it… also to my surprise, about an hour later, she ended up in the hospital. "

"She messaged the group chat claiming I had specifically told her it was safe for her to eat, and I intentionally poisoned her!"

"This is where I really think I might be TA."

"I messaged her back and told her she needs to get her s**t together."

"If she wants a special diet, she needs to prepare it herself and not rely on others."

"I said I never once said my dish was gluten-free, and if you remember the ordeal from last year, my kitchen is not gluten safe in the slightest, plus why would I go through all the trouble to make you special food when you didn't even eat it last time?"

"Anyways, I'm sick of the back and forth."

"His whole family is upset with me, and it's weighing heavily on my husband."

The OP was left to wonder:

"Am I the a**hole here?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA. I'm a vegetarian, have been a vegetarian for 40 years."

"At every family meal, I ask about every dish to see if it has secret meat."

"It's my responsibility to check if the Brussels sprouts have bacon or if the mashed potatoes were made with chicken broth."

"She didn't ask before she ate." ~ ImRudyL

"Right? I'm a vegetarian, and I have celiac disease."

"I asked about everything in case of secret meat and sneaky gluten."

"I also wouldn't demand everyone make everything gluten-free because I know that even if people tried their very best, someone would get it wrong."

"Because it's tricky to make gluten-free stuff in a regular kitchen when you aren't used to/already knowledgeable about gluten and cross-contamination."

"The chances of at least one person making a simple mistake are just too high."

"It does suck to be 'excluded' from big holiday meals to an extent, and I'm always super grateful when the people whom I trust to cook gluten-free for me do so, but it's still on me to check and ask." ~ Glaucus92

"NTA. I'm calling shenanigans on this."

"Even people diagnosed with Celiac disease don't normally have severe reactions within an hour."

"It's not an immediate allergic reaction in the sense of suffering anaphylaxis."

"If SIL is truly Celiac, then she would be accustomed to taking much more care with what she ingests."

"Edit for the people who didn't read or understand my comment: Prudent people who know that they may suffer severe, immediate reactions to foods would remind the family before communal meals, would ask about the ingredients of everything that they intend to ingest, and may bring their own food just in case."

"I call shenanigans on SIL who did NONE of this. "

"SIL then lied about receiving a warning from OP and accused OP of actively trying to poison her." ~ CandylandCanada

"NTA, and I'm medically diagnosed gluten-free, not TikTok gluten-free."

"But this means I ask if I can eat something; I never assume."

"I really do appreciate it when people advise safe/unsafe."

"I will also politely decline your food if you show any confusion about handling, emphasis on the politely, and thank you for thinking of me."

"I would have also brought my own main and sides to share, along with a delicious orange almond cake (unless someone has a tree nut allergy, of course)."

"I will eat your food if the bread is in the cupboard, by the way, it can't do magic to get into my food."

"I will not eat your salad if I see you slicing tomatoes on a board you have just cut bread on." ~ gelfbo

"NTA. I have food allergies and texture issues from Autism."

"It is not my friend's or my extended family's job to accommodate me."

"It is not my brother's job to accommodate me as I'm rarely there."

"It is my job to make sure I have something to eat and drink." ~ RegretPowerful3

"Not the AH."

"I have a close family member who has to be gluten-free."

"We certainly prepare things that work for them, but not the entire meal."

"Some things just don't translate well."

"However, I've learned to substitute certain flours in some dishes (example: gravy)."

"They never make a big deal about it, and they aren't demanding."

"We ARE aware and avoid cross-contamination."

"I also point out what definitely is not gluten-free."

"One thing I do is point out which things should be safe."

"They go through the buffet line first to avoid cross-contamination." ~ Technograndma

"NTA, I'm gluten-free, I bring my own food, so I know I can eat."

"I'll ask the cook if it's gluten-free, and if it's not or they don't know, I don't eat it. Simple."

"If she's sick enough to go to the hospital if she ingests gluten, she has to be the one who asks EVERY TIME or have a plan B."

"She's a big girl." ~ traceysayshello

"NTA. It sounds like your SIL is a drama queen and did all of this on purpose."

"It is time to talk to your husband about going low/no contact with her."

"Whatever you do, NEVER cook for her again."

"If you do, start printing out full recipe ingredient lists and make sure she reads them before you let her eat anything." ~ GreekAmericanDom

"NTA. As a parent of a child with a food allergy, she has been raised to clarify what's in the food she is given, and to not eat any if she suspects it might not be ok."

"Also, why is your husband not making the food for his own family gatherings?"

"That way he can take the heat if it's wrong."

"You can cook for your own family, where your efforts are appreciated." ~ Firm_Cap5226

"NTA. My sister is gluten intolerant and allergic to milk (protein allergy)."

"My parents will make stuff that's gluten-free, but she doesn't expect it from larger family gatherings and will bring some safe food."

"However, my husband is making an effort to figure out how to make food safe for her."

"He likes feeding people he cares about and will sometimes stress cook, so the challenge helps channel the energy if I don't want food."

"Some of the initial attempts were met with failure."

"The first attempt at cookies turned into a 9x13 pan layers with chocolate chip cookie dough, peanut butter, and marshmallows."

"We went over and surprised my sister with it." ~ WyvernJelly

"NTA - Does she have a diagnosed condition like celiac disease, or is this just a trendy diet?"

"I guess either way, it's on her to confirm with everyone that their dishes are gluten-free and not just assume that everyone was going to accommodate her requirements in perpetuity."

"And her lying about you telling her it was safe is definitely out of line." ~ whatisakafka

"NTA. I've been gluten-free for almost 15 years and have never expected anyone to accommodate my allergy."

"I'm always incredibly surprised and grateful if they do, but if I want something in particular?"

"I make it and bring it myself." ~ KhaleesiLovesReeses

"NTA. I have a dairy allergy, and I take responsibility for it myself."

"I don't expect to be able to eat everything served at a meal I haven't prepared."

"It's fine."

"You didn't do anything wrong." ~ hello_pilgrim

Reddit is with you 100%, OP.

This is your SIL's responsibility.

She needs to tailor her meals at gatherings to others, not the other way around.

Placing her hospital stay on you is over the top.

Good Luck.

Some people choose to follow a very structured or restrictive diet because of their personal beliefs.

Others are forced to limit exposure to certain foods because of allergies, food sensitivities, or certain diseases or disorders, like diabetes or celiac.

Does that mean everyone else in their household should follow the same diet?

A woman who's on a restricted diet because of her health turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Bluebiird95 asked:

"AITA for forcing my diet on my boyfriend?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"I'm from France originally, and I moved to the United States almost 2 years ago. Now, for some reason, the food here makes me sick. Not in an 'Ew, that's gross 'kind of way. But actually physically sick."

"My body seems to struggle to digest it. Whether it's take-out or fancy restaurant food. Either I can't go to the bathroom for days, or I'm violently vomiting."

"I tried dealing with it for months and months, but I started losing weight very quickly because I couldn't eat. I ended up developing a serious aversion to food, and my family recommended I go and speak to a specialist."

"I had never had a problem back home, and I was terrified I was seriously ill. So I went to multiple doctors, where I was poked and prodded, and I had multiple tests done. They have all said nothing is wrong with me physically."

"I spoke to a dietitian and he explained that my body is probably not used to the amount of salt and preservatives that are found in the food in the States. Please don't think I'm bashing the US! I love it here and it's a great country."

"My dietician recommended fresh and organic produce to see how my body coped, and to my delight, I improved."

"I stopped vomiting, and I was able to start slowly putting weight back on. I started making meals from scratch and meal prepping to save time throughout the week."

"My dad is actually a chef back home, so he was more than happy to send me some recipes to keep my diet interesting. I made a delicious vegetarian lasagna from scratch and put it in the oven to cook."

"My boyfriend (American) came home after work and asked what was for dinner. I said I was making a veggie lasagna. He rolled his eyes and said he was sick of 'that organic crap' and wanted a cheeseburger."

"The comment hurt. I made a real effort at meal times to keep it varied so we're not always eating the same thing. I said I couldn't make one because I didn't even have any burger buns."

"He said it was unfair to 'make' him eat my diet. I had never realized he was opposed to it."

"He benefited from home-cooked meals, and I had seen that his clothes were fitting him better. He had more energy, and he didn't sleep so much on the weekends."

"I apologized and said I didn't mean to make him feel forced."

"AITA for forcing my diet on him?"

The OP later added:

"Just to clear a few things up; when I started my diet, I explained to my boyfriend what the nutritionist/dietitian had told me.

"He said quote: 'OK. We will give it a try and see how it goes'. Because he had said "'we', I just figured he was, including himself."

"I also work. My lunch break is shorter, so I get back home first."

"The meals I made were not strictly vegetarian. I made things like chicken pot pie, casserole, tuna pasta, beef burritos, bolognese with homemade meatballs, and he had a meat lasagna last week."

"That's why I was making a veggie one. I thought it would make a nice change. I would also make homemade burgers at the weekend, even make the buns from scratch too."

"I had also made my dad's friand à la saucisse a couple of times. He ended up ordering a burger from Uber eats that night."

"So I came to the conclusion he just wanted takeout."

"I'm sorry if I gave the impression my diet was strictly vegetarian or vegan. I didn't do a very good job of explaining it, so I apologize."

The OP summed up their situation.

"I want to know if I'm in the wrong because I somehow forced my boyfriend to eat the same diet as me. My boyfriend said it was unfair of me to push my dietary needs onto him."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).

"NTA. You're not forcing your diet on him. He can go out and buy himself a cheeseburger. Or make it himself."

"He's TA for expecting you to cook food for him that you can't even eat." ~ JanileeJ

"He's apparently an adult human, and I may be presumptuous in thinking this, but surely he has hands and can make his own damn dinner."

"My husband and I don't always have the same taste in food, so when I make something he doesn't want he uses the hands that are conveniently attached to his arms to make his own dinner or operate the car to pick up something." ~ CaptainLollygag

"NTA. He is grown. He can make his own food. He can feed his own self. You are not responsible for feeding a grown man because he doesn't want to put in the effort." ~ ToldU2UrFace

"NTA. You aren't forcing your diet on him. You're simply cooking what you can eat, and you are kind enough to share with him. If he wants a cheeseburger, he can figure out his way around the kitchen. You're his girlfriend, not his mom." ~ Peep_Power_77

"NTA, if he wants to eat different food, he can cook it himself or order it. Your diet is for your health, don't let his complaining get in the way of that." ~ Friendly_Evening_949

The OP provided an update:

"My boyfriend came home from work, and so he didn't feel like I was pushing him, I didn't make anything for dinner. He asked what I was making, and I replied that I was going to let him choose what we ate."

"He TUTTED!!!!"

"He said he was starving. He'd had a long day at work and was hoping dinner would be ready by the time he walked in the door."

"I was mad at his reaction. My brain was telling me he was unhappy if dinner was ready and he was unhappy if it wasn't."

"But I calmed myself down. I realized we needed to have a serious talk about our relationship."

"Long story short, we are no longer together."

"I have taken some advice from many people on here and come to the conclusion that we are just no longer compatible. Posting on here has probably been the best thing I could've done when I think about it."

"It's helped me realize that I do most of the emotional labor in our relationship. And I want a partner that will appreciate the things I do, and do the occasional nice thing in return."

"It's not just the cooking that I do. I do the housework, shopping, laundry, and I also work."

"The chore list is something we have discussed before. Quite a few times, actually. He always says he'll pitch in more, and he never does."

"He has, however, apologized for what he said about my cooking the night before. Apparently, another worker has chewed his ear off and said he was very lucky to have someone cook him dinner every night and didn't just have a microwave meal and an empty apartment to go back to."

"I apologized again for ever making him feel like I was forcing him to eat what I did. He asked if there was any way we could stay together."

"I was honest and said it wasn't going to happen. My lease is up in December. A fact he already knows. I was going to tell my landlord that I wasn't going to renew it. I also told him that I'm going to hand in my notice at work and go home."

"He asked me to think about it some more and to call him if I changed my mind before he left."

"He's back at the weekend for the rest of his stuff, and I honestly feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel so much lighter. I did and do still love him. And I hope he finds someone who makes him happy in the long run."

"I'm looking forward to going home. My parents are ecstatic I'm coming back."

"Thank you to everyone for your advice. Somehow this AITA post turned into some serious self reflection and relationship therapy."

"My boss is sad to see me go and said to give him a call if I ever want to come back."

"I have come to the conclusion that, no. I am NTA."

Sometimes it takes something seemingly small or unrelated fof us to realize there are big problems in our relationships.

While the OP started wondering about their diet, in the end, food was the least of their problems.

Hopefully OP's health improves once they return home.

Adhering to a strict diet isn't easy.

Humans want what they want when they're hungry.

As people get older, they'll only have so many chances to enjoy certain things.

So is it on the rest of the world to police the diet of others?

Sometimes, everybody just wants a treat.

Redditor More_Brilliant240 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

They asked:

"AITA for taking my grandma to eat lobster?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"My (19) maternal grandma (79) has been living with us since my grandpa passed away two years ago."

"She said their house reminded her too much of him."

"Last year, she got a health check-up at the hospital."

"The doctor warned her that her L[ow]-D[ensity] L[ipoprotein] level has gotten high and that she has to start watching what she eats."

"Didn't prescribe medicines though."

"She has made changes."

"She replaced potato chips with fruits like kiwi."

"She no longer eats junk food."

"Her diet now consists mainly of fish and vegetables."

"Yesterday she asked if I could drive her to a restaurant to have lobster since I recently got my driver's license while she decided not to renew hers."

"She said she knows she won't pass the reflex test and doesn't want to embarrass herself."

"I hesitated, and she said that just one meal wouldn't hurt after her new diet and that she was going in for a checkup at the end of this month anyway."

"So I took her there."

"But my mom was upset when she found out and said that 'It always starts with just one meal' and I 'Should spend more time thinking before doing something.'"

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.

"Your grandmother is 79 and an adult."

"As long as she's of sound mind, it's not your place to police her diet."

"She's not doing this every day, and her problem is so borderline that they haven't even put her on meds."

"What else is there to live for if you can't even have a nice cheat meal every once in a while?"

"NTA." ~ Intrepid_Parsley_655

"My grandmother lived to 103."

"In her last year of life, I was lucky enough to live close by."

"Once a week, I took her for a bacon cheeseburger and a Dr. Pepper."

"It was the highlight of her week."

"My aunt would get so mad."

"You'll kill her eating that!"

"Death at 103 by bacon cheeseburger sounds like a good way to die."

"You're NTA."

"It's one meal, she's an adult."

"I'm sure she enjoyed her time with her grandchild." ~ pink-Bee9394

"NTA. She's 79."

"If she wants lobster, take her for lobster." ~ 7625607

"The woman is 79 years old."

"A full-grown adult. If she wants to eat lobster with you, take her."

"Far too soon, you'll only have pictures and memories."

"I can't stand when people treat elderly people like they're infants."

"She's a woman with her own wants and needs in life." ~ Charity83

"The infantilization of old people drives me nuts."

"Like, respect their dignity."

"After 79 years, she's capable of making decisions for herself."

"The only exception to this rule is people with dementia and even then I think they should be able to make basic decisions like what to eat."

"On kind of a funny note: My sister treated our grandmother like she was an innocent child."

"One day, Grandma was asking about sister's boyfriend and sister was hedging (because they lived together and she didn't want to admit this), so I said, 'They're living in sin, Grandma.'"

"My sister glared at me and then I just asked, 'You ever done the math on when [our oldest uncle] was born? He was perfectly healthy and four months premature.'"

"Sister turned to Grandma in shock, and she just shrugged LMFAO."

"Sister started to treat Grandma like, I don't know, a real person after that." ~ Grouchy_Snail

"NTA. Doctor here."

"Let your 79-year-old granny eat whatever the f**k she wants."

"There is a point where pleasure takes precedence over remote health benefits."

"The likelihood of benefit from a strict diet at that age is minimal."

"And a lobster meal at age 79 is DEFINITELY on the pleasure side." ~ TiredofCOVIDIOTs

NTA (also not a doctor) but I've said since my grandpa was 80 to just let him be. It's been a long road through many years. Let them eat!! Do you know what crap food existed 50 years ago or 70 years ago. I mean unless you were rich food was bland and overcooked.

"Lobster is what every 79-year-old should be eating." ~ threebecomeone

"My mom is 78."

"She is on this kick that microplastics are going to kill her. "

"I'm like woman, you're almost 80."

"I promise drinking out of a plastic water bottle is the least of what's going to kill you."

"Now if I could only get her to drink more water..." ~ Relevant_Struggle

"I'll be damned if someone tells me I can't have chips and ice cream at 79 damn years old."

"And she's already doing that!"

"You aren't in charge of your grandma and your mom, while she may be getting worried about the passage of time in regards to her own mom, what's the point if the final years/decades are miseries trapped at home with no lobster ever? NTA." ~ KetoLurkerHereAgain

"NTA. You're not your grandmother's prison warden."

"She has a right to choose what she wants to eat."

"All you did was drive her where she asked you to." ~ ScarletNotThatOne

"NTA. Your grandmother has every right to decide for herself what she will eat!"

"She's about as grown up as a grown-up gets."

"Some people prefer to indulge in life's pleasures and maximize the enjoyment they get out of life, rather than maximizing their time." ~ Low_Temperature9593

"NTA. I get your mom's fear: She lost her father, and she fears losing her mother."

"But, your grandmother is a grown adult."

"At 79, she's had a long life."

"She -chose- to eat healthier because she did want to continue living well."

"Trust me, there are OODLES of older people who ignore their doctor."

"My father was one of them."

"But she can also -choose- to eat less healthy."

"A lobster drowning in butter is unlikely to be her death."

"And if it was? Well, a good last meal." ~ Available-Love7940

"NTA. Grandma's an adult."

"She can make her own decisions."

"Mom needs to chill."

"She sounds controlling." ~ CalamityClambake

"NTA. One meal of lobster isn't going to send her to the hospital." ~ Embarrassed_Loss_584

"NTA. Hell, if she wanted a cheeseburger, a whole cheesecake, a cocktail, and a cigar it's her prerogative."

"Enjoy your time with her while she can enjoy it." ~ CleverRedditUsrNme

"NTA. It's like the reverse of when Grandmas and Grandpas let you have ice cream for dinner ;)."

"Since it will take her some effort to acquire future lobster and other bad foods, I think there's a difference between that and leaving her a credit card and your door-fast password."

"Also, if she was able to make those changes, I am optimistic about her self-control." ~ cocobear13

"NTA. She's old enough to know what she wants, I think."

"If she wants lobster, give her lobster with butter, salt, and a lot of bread!"

"I never understood monitoring anyone's diet for them, unless they asked."

"I'm diabetic, but none of my friends ask me why I'm having dessert or whatever."

"They know I understand my circumstances to make up for it or make appropriate adjustments to my insulin."

"Tell g-ma to enjoy her lobster and have a glass of wine if she wants it!" ~ No-Broccoli-5932

"If I make it to 79 and want lobster, someone better get me a lobster!"

"I've made it to 60 with cholesterol and triglycerides being okay."

"By the time my parents were my age my dad had type 2 diabetes and very high trig, my mom was on statins for her cholesterol."

"I do not DENY myself anything -- I just eat mostly healthy and occasionally splurge."

"Oops - NTA and good for your grandmother." ~ Punkinsmom

"NTA. Your Grandma is old enough to decide what she eats."

"She's allowed to have a 'cheat meal' here and there."

"Lobster is good, like mentioned earlier, it's the butter."

"But, given she's not on meds, I'm willing to bet that won't hurt her either, especially if she's eating healthy otherwise." ~ HwlngMdMurdoch

"It gets to a point where the quality of years is far more important than the quantity of years."

"She's almost 80."

"She's doing what she needs to to be healthier."

"But what's the point if she's not enjoying her life? NTA." ~ CAAugirl

"NTA - your grandma is an adult, she can make her own choices even if they're bad for her or your mother disagrees with her."

"Besides, whilst sauces/butter and sides etc aren't that great for the ol' health, lobster itself is a pretty low-fat food."

"Besides which if she's not on meds then her cholesterol and blood pressure are probably not dangerously high even if they're getting towards the point where they need to be managed." ~ redcore4

"NTA. While lobster as compared to other fish is higher in cholesterol they are still not something to be completely avoided especially since most people have it occasionally as a treat like your grandmother."

"What you eat every day - fried foods - foods that are high in fat - not eating sufficient produce and whole grains - eating ice cream and processed foods is what one needs to avoid or eat rarely in a healthy diet." ~ laurazhobson

"NTA. Your GRANDMA is a grown-a** woman."

"If she wants lobster, she should get lobster." ~ szy91

"NTA. It was one meal that she wanted and that you shared with her."

"Hold onto it."

"These days won't last forever."

"You did something wonderful, gifting her (and you) with time together and something she enjoyed." ~ MerelyWhelmed1

Reddit is with you, OP.

Grandma is an adult.

She's not eating lobster every day.

It's understandable that Mom is worried, but she needn't take it out on you.

Grandma would've found lobster one way or another.

When someone is undergoing a major change in their life, they look for support from as many people as they can.

Particularly their partners or spouses.

Most of the time, these same partners and spouses are more than happy to back them up and offer to help them in any way they can.

Even if, in their partner's eyes, they aren't doing enough.

The wife of Redditor Lil_Moody247 was on a mission to make a significant lifestyle change.

A decision the original poster (OP) was firmly behind.

However, in the eyes of the OP's wife, he wasn't doing nearly enough, which she told him in no uncertain terms.

Concerned he may have let her down, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for not be more active/present in my wife's journey to lose weight?"

The OP explained why their wife didn't think they were showing adequate support:

"Some backstory first; My wife had back to back pregnancies over the past two years with the second pregnancy being a twin."

"If you have kids, then you know how being pregnant CHANGES a woman's body and it can take years to recover."

"Ever since giving birth to our twins, my wife has been very insecure about her body."

"Simply put, she doesn't like how she looks. I know this and can honestly say, I've never been critical about how she looks, even before the pregnancy, not once."

"I have no problem with her looks, not one bit, she'll always be pretty in my eyes."

"In the beginning of this year, she started getting back to working out and just couple weeks ago decided to join an online nutrition program that helps her eat better."

"I was 100% onboard with everything because I know this is very important to her."

"I want her to succeed and start loving herself more."

"However, she thinks I'm not active or present enough in her weight loss journey."

"I'm just on the sidelines cheering and she feels like she's in it alone."

"She said I've not shown any active interest in her progress and only listens when she shared her learnings, never directly ask her about anything relating to working out or eating healthy."

"She said she expected me to show support by also start eating the same food as her and also start paying more attention to my body (I'm not fat nor skinny, just an average build with average BMI)"

"Honestly, I was kinda pissed when I heard this and told her I've been nothing but supportive."

"I just don't want to eat too healthy (by her standards) because it's kinda boring, and I'd like to have some not-so-healthy meals from time to time."

"Then there was a lot of back-and-forth of me not understanding her point, my attitude is bad, etc."

"I decided to keep quiet and just left the room to do other chores and calm down a bit."

"When I returned from taking the trash out, I saw her crying."

"I felt bad and went over to hug her and told her I'll start eating healthier with her but please don't take a way my favorite food, which I'll usually have once or twice a week for breakfast (it's around 650 kcal) I thought my response was appropriate, I took a step in the direction that she wanted and just have one minor request."

"This was also said in a non-confrontational, couple-y, apologetic, all I want is peace type voice."

"I was trying to be cute with that 'please done take away' line."

"Then she hit me with, 'Don't you think I would also want to have that?'"

"'What makes you think I won't want the same thing?'"

"'But I can't'."

"'If it's such a sacrifice for you, I'd rather you not', etc. And now I'm PISSED. I told her I thought this was a step in the right direction. Why can't she just appreciate this decision, and we can all be in this together?"

"Her response was, 'Why are you getting so worked up over this food?'"

"I honestly couldn't see what I did wrong, especially our last conversation."

"The decision I made felt right, but she told me my 'attitude' was wrong'."

"Some more info:"

"We had two pregnancy but we only have the twins."

"The twins are 9 months old, we stopped breastfeeding almost 6 months ago."

"We order takeout or Uber eats every meal."

"Don't really have time to cook."

"I don't eat my favorite food in front of her. I have it for breakfast at work."

"We don't do snack or sweet, I'll have milk tea occasionally but I volunteered to give it up when she started the nutrition program."

"Am I the A**hole?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

• NTA: No A**holes
• YTA: You're the A**hole
• ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
• NAH: No A**holes Here

The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole, despite his wife's feelings.

Everyone agreed that the expectations of the OP's wife were too high, and the OP was more than supportive enough in her mission to lose weight:

"NTA."

"A weight loss journey is personal. She can't expect others around her to join in."

"As long as you're not sabotaging her efforts by encouraging her to eat things she wants to avoid, discouraging her from exercising, etc, you're good."

"You should sit down and have a discussion with her about what support from you would look like from her perspective."

"She shouldn't expect you to read her mind."

"I'm on a weight loss journey myself rn and I'd hate it if my spouse was always asking me how it was going or commenting on my efforts."

"But different strokes for different folks."

"Instead of coming to her with what you thought would be a good compromise, you should have asked her what would be helpful."

"But then she also needs to be willing to meet you halfway because you're an adult and should feel free to eat what you want."

"She can say what she wants from you, but if it's not something you can or want to give (such as give up a favorite breakfast) then she needs to realize that it's not all about her."- catsaway9

"NTA."

"I'm currently on a weight loss journey and am down about 70 lbs in the last year."

"You are not unreasonable to want to eat some treats from time to time — your wife's weight loss regimen isn't yours."

"However, eating in a calorie deficit sucks sometimes, especially a few months in when the novelty has worn off and the results aren't super visible yet."

"I never realized how much of my social life revolved around food, happy hours, movie dates with popcorn, weekend treats with my partner, food is everywhere and it gets a little old feeling like everyone else gets to enjoy while you eat your chicken breast and veggies."

"I don't think you need to give up your favorite foods, but you could show more support for her."

"Ask her about her weight loss, compliment her, offer to go on walks with her, etc."

"If you show support for her in her journey, she might not mind your special breakfast."

"Also, it's ok for her to treat herself sometimes."

"Sustainable weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint."

"If she's being too rigid without a treat here and there, of course she'll be resentful of any 'extras' you eat."- karenna89

"NTA."

"Though situation is different- my dad recently began a weight loss journey and was able to do it!"

"However, my mom wasn't on it, and though she wasn't on it, she began to buy brown rice instead of white rice, or made more food with veggies, and stuff like that."

"She didn't completely change the diet in the whole house, but was considerate with my dad."

"Ultimately, though, he was the one that had to control himself and even when going out only ate salads and stuff."

"Because the rest of us (my and my siblings ) continued eating the same foods he couldn't."

"So she has to learn unfortunately, how to control it by substituting."- Eastern_Garlic_7853

"NTA."

"Your wife is on a journey that can be hard, especially if it's her first time really trying to lose weight."

"It may be extremely difficult for her to focus on her journey when the food is in the house."

"Instead of admitting that, she's blaming it on the way you eat."

"Maybe if you want certain foods that she struggles with, keep it in a separate part of the house."

"It sounds a little looney tunes, but it may help."

"Also, she may benefit from a nutritional coach/counselor."- mebenfie

"NTA."

"Eating healthy / living healthy is great but for some people (especially folks just getting started) it becomes their whole life."

"I can 100% understand being supportive but not super interested."

"You're cheering her on."

"It's her journey not yours."

"It's not like you're actively hindering her progress."- GarbageWitch87

What the OP's wife is going through can't be easy.

And the OP is offering as much support as he can.

One wonders if his wife ever considered if she is asking too much of him, and might need professional support?

As it seems the support of a professional might be beneficial for both her physical and mental health.

Boundaries can be a way to keep relationships balanced.

They can be especially important for new parents raising children.

Some family members need to have boundaries on them so parents can parent their way.

But certain people live to break or ignore boundaries.

This can lead to messy situations.

Redditor Possible_State4774 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

She asked:

"WIBTA, if I told my fiancé and my MIL, I would no longer buy groceries for my baby."

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"So backstory before I get into it, I (23 F[emale]) gave birth to my son last summer."

"My M[other]-I[n]-L[aw] was VERY involved in my pregnancy, which I was very thankful for."

"When I gave birth, that support turned into possessive behavior."

"I could list off scenarios, but this post would be a book... lol."

"I have addressed this several times with my fiancé (24 M[ale])."

"He will tell me he will talk with his mom, but nothing seems to change."

"My relationship was GREAT with my MIL up until she kinda started to play mommy with my son."

"I've set boundaries, and somehow they apply to everyone but her."

"Again, it's an ongoing battle, and my fiancé isn't supportive or just brushed it off."

"So currently, my baby is starting solids now, and I will prep food and buy snacks that I know he likes, but my MIL will buy whatever snacks she has and will feed him that."

"My MIL IS NOT my babysitter, we have a family member watching him at my MIL's house."

"She will buy groceries for my son and has introduced foods, etc."

"I am at a point where I don't want to buy him groceries as the food I pack is just left untouched or it starts to go bad in my fridge."

"I do have farm animals that eat said food."

"I have told my babysitter to feed him what I pack, but then she tells me she was told there was food for him my MIL bought."

"I also want to start taking my son to my Mom's as I know my MIL won't have any control over him, but the commute is 30 minutes one way, and I would have to wake him up at 5 am."

"I'm not sure what to do."

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"The fact that your babysitter is cleaning for MIL and feeding your child MIL's food when you told her to feed the food you provided means your babysitter isn't willing to go against MIL's preferences for yours."

"Which means your babysitter isn't working for you, she's working for your MIL."

"You know your MIL is watching your child while your 'babysitter' is cleaning MIL's house, right?"

"This isn't working for you."

"It will continue to not work for you as long as your child is being watched in MIL's home."

"Change to your house."

"That may mean changing babysitters." ~ purplstarz

"NTA. You have a babysitter problem, a MIL problem, and a fiancé problem."

"The first two can be fixed by going to your mother's."

"The last one needs to be fixed before you marry that man as I can see his unwillingness to support you in this as the tip of the iceberg of future problems." ~ KizzyHew

"NTA. Time to find a new babysitter who comes to your house AND has orders to not let MIL in."

"Also, it's time to ask your fiance who he wants to be married to: you or his mommy." ~ plm56

"NTA, but get some self-respect."

"Have the babysitter at your house or get a new one."

"Cut this controlling lady out of your life as soon as possible, or you'll have 18+ years of hell." ~ kfilks

"Wake up earlier and drive to your mom's would be solution 1."

"But, you now have a kid with this man better buckle up this will be the norm for a minimum of 18 years."

"I'd advise not getting married."

"NTA if you get your a** up and drive it's 30 minutes not 2 hours each way." ~ NoFlight5759

"YWBTA to yourself."

"If you let your MIL prevail in dictating what food your child eats instead of your food, she won't stop overstepping."

"You need to change the childcare arrangements because your babysitter is more your MIL's employee than yours if the mindset is that MIL is the final decision maker about what goes on her home with your child."

"Giving up on buying the groceries is a spineless choice." ~ wildferalfun

"NTA - But you are kind of AH adjacent, if for no other reason than you seem to be floundering between what you need to do and what you want to do."

"You can't control what she does."

"She will never adhere to your rules."

"So if you don't want your MIL to replace you as your child's mother, you have to get the baby away from her."

"You can't have it both ways."

"Stop being so passive and draw a hard line."

"You need to go mama bear on her."

"Stop trying to get your husband to handle her."

"He won't."

"Stop thinking she will magically become the MIL you once knew."

"That was an act to placate you until she could get her hands on your kid."

"Your baby deserves better."

"This is what motherhood is."

"Nothing is more important than protecting your child."

"You are the mother."

"She is the grandmother."

"Both of you need to remember your roles.

"Or just accept that you have been replaced."

"So what are you going to do about it?" ~ PomegranateReal3620

"This!!! This is what it boils down to."

"I personally think OP needs to move in with her mother or some other friend or family member."

"She should let your fiancè know that things have gotten to the point that she can no longer live with/near MIL, and she doesn't feel comfortable with her around L[little] O[ne]."

"She should tell him she's moving to her mom's and he can come visit LO whenever he likes."

"If he wants to try to make it work, couples counseling is non-negotiable, and OP and LO will not live with MIL, and MIL will have no access to LO until some serious boundaries are put in place."

"If your fiancè doesn't agree, then file for custody immediately so that if your finacè or MIL tries to take the baby, you can legally get LO back

It wouldn't have come to this if your fiancè had originally taken your concerns seriously, set boundaries, and enforced them with his mother."

"He didn't do that, and this is the result of his inaction." ~ basketcaseofbananas

"You have a babysitter problem."

"The babysitter should be feeding him what YOU told her to."

"You have a boyfriend problem."

"The boyfriend should be setting limits (and clearly isn't)."

"Why can't the babysitter watch him at your house?"

"Whatever the answer is, you're right that you need to separate your kid from your MIL."

"But you also have a longer, ongoing boyfriend problem."

"Why isn't he backing you up?"

"You've got almost two decades to co-parent with him, and he needs to be on board." ~ sanityjanity

"There are so many red flags here."

"Do not marry this man if he's already choosing his mommy over you.'

"Suck the commute up and take the kid to your mom's."

"Your MIL is getting creepy and overstepping, and you need to remove her from the equation. NTA." ~ ImNot4Everyone42

"That was my thought."

"He's not actually backing her."

"He says he is, and I bet he doesn't actually say anything to his mom."

"That would upset Mommy - can't have that!"

"MIL needs to be removed before she gets even more control."

"Next, she might sue for custody since she's been supplying food for the baby and caretaking has been happening in her home."

"She might claim her home is more fit."

"Unlikely to win, but incredibly stressful for all." ~ sparkvixen

"If you want control over your child and what he eats and how he is raised, you need to look for other child care options."

"Look into local daycares."

"If you can't afford that, ask them about private and government programs that offer assistance."

"Call the United Way helpline at 211 or check their website to see if they have resources that will help."

"To answer your question, no YWNBTA for not bringing food that is ultimately going to waste."

"You can offer to pay for the food she buys if it's from an approved list of foods." ~ Glinda-The-Witch

"You need to grip this now, even if it means changing babysitters."

"Your MIL wants control over your child and is not respecting you as a parent. NTA." ~ Individual_Metal_983

"NTA. You have a fiance problem and a mil problem."

"You're engaged to a momma's boy and not in the cute way."

"Time to move in with your mom and ensure your kid is getting the care you want for them."

"Call off the engagement until your fiance takes back his spine from mommy dearest." ~ R4eth

"NTA: Two things I think are true..."

"As long as anything related to your child happens in her home, your MIL is going to be the boss."

"Your fiancè supports his mom, not you, in this conflict."

"He might say he's going to talk to her, but obviously, he's not doing anything to oppose her."

"Make your plans understanding those two things." ~ Deep-Okra1461

"NTA, but this all seems like a series of power plays and manipulation, to be honest."

"I would figure out something else childcare-wise and just stop the back and forth with MIL altogether."

"For now, it's food; next week, it will be something else she is controlling."

"Sitter is clearly is answering to her and not prioritizing your kid if she's also doing other work there."

"Just take her to your Mom's or find a different sitter at your house." ~ Potential-Region8045

"Has your mom met you halfway?"

"Or just put your foot down to the babysitter that it doesn't matter what MIL has eaten in her house."

"Baby is only to be given the food that you pack."

"And tell MIL the same."

"Put on your big girl pants and lay down the law."

"You are NTA, but also, I don't think this is the solution to the problem." ~ emilouwho687

"NTA other than to yourself and your child."

"You have way bigger issues than your MIL. You and your fiancé need to be a united team, especially when it comes to your child."

"He isn't defending you, he isn't supporting you, and he is ok with his mother undermining your relationship with him, your relationship with your child, and your decisions as a mother."

"This is only going to get worse."

"He is always going to put his mother above you."

"It's time for you and your son to both go stay with your mother."

"You both deserve better." ~ i_kill_plants2

"NTA. I am not a morning person, but if I could tell new mom me to wake up at 5 am and drive the 30 minutes or 1 to my Mom's so that my MIL wouldn't try to play mommy- I absolutely would jump at that!!"

"My ex-MIL failed at raising 2 boys and inserted herself to try and raise her grandkid."

"I was young and dumb and thought she was being helpful."

"She wasn't."

"OP, take the baby to your Mom's."

"If MIL has any issue, tell fiancé that he needs to handle his mom because as it is right now, she will be on supervised visits with you (OP) only."

"She's proven she can't be trusted."

"And you can't trust fiancé to have your back." ~ Exciting-Peanut-1526

"Can you move in with your mom?"

"This situation is only going to get worse as your son gets older."

"Your fiancè has proven incapable of standing up to his mommy."

"You don't want to marry this man unless you want to marry MIL. NTA." ~ Bloodrayna

"You need to find yourself alternative day care and remove this kid from your MIL's influence."

"Yes, influence."

'Because if this continues, she may decide that she's the mommy and start encouraging your child to call her that, which would be confusing."

"Or she'll badmouth you to him."

"Get this kid out of there and tell your baby daddy that he needs to shape up or you're gonna ship out."

"NTA for what you're asking, but I wouldn't let her have that kind of control." ~ WhizGidget

"NTA. You have a baby daddy problem."

"Not a MIL problem."

"Have the sitter come to your house or find another." ~ redditavenger2019

"NTA. Also, you may want to reconsider marrying this guy."

"Just saying." ~ Malphas43

"You were just a surrogate for your mother-in-law and her son's child."

"Do what you need to do."

"Wake up at 5:00 a.m. NTA." ~ MyDogsNameIsToes

"NTA, but you don't have any boundaries."

"You have suggestions." ~ teatimecookie

"NTA. Instead of stopping buying your own, chuck hers in the bin just until she gets the message." ~ Mrs_B-

OP came back with some extra information and an update...

"I may not have specified this, but I will still buy my son his groceries for our home."

"I would have my MIL use/buy food instead of me packing his meals."

"My MIL works, but she is a manager, so she leaves when she pleases."

"She sees my baby every day."

"When she doesn't, she will call and text my fiancé that she 'needs' to see him."

"Regarding the cost, we split the cost as I pay her for babysitting and my MIL pays her for the other chores."

"Like I mentioned previously, there are A LOT of more reasons why I feel the way I do."

"To list a few, she fed into my P[ost]P[artum] D[epression] as she took charge when my son was a newborn."

"I didn't have a backbone then because I was going through a lot."

"She wants my son to call her mama, she also has claimed that my son is a way for her to have a " second chance."

"I spoke with my fiancé about it, and he understood where I was coming from."

"I offered just to drop off the groceries at my MIL."

"That didn't change anything."

"So I am now taking my son to my mom, which caused some talk about 'how it's so much harder for him and how my son will have to adjust.'"

"He's fine and thriving."

"We can all guess who that came from 😅."

"My MIL has offered to pick him up so we don't make a commute into town, and I've declined."

"However, she has now only asked my fiancé, to which he will agree to (thinking I was aware)."

"My mom is aware of everything and will only release him to me or my fiancé unless she is told otherwise."

"I am very disappointed and feel like I am going to extremes, but I'm just so tired of literally fighting to be THE MOTHER to my son."

"I am now looking to move out of the compound and live far to create distance."

"I'm pretty sure she'll find a way to manipulate my fiancé into feeling bad."

This is a distressing situation, OP.

Reddit has your back.

This is about a lot more than food.

Something must be done about this woman.

She has complete disrespect for you and her son.

Maybe you should ask your fiancé to go with you to a therapist.

Perhaps a neutral third party can explain it to him in a way he'll understand more clearly.

Servers are constantly faced with the challenge of servicing many patrons simultaneously, so it's not surprising if things don't operate smoothly.

But what is the statute of limitations on punishing a hard worker who made an honest mistake?

A woman who confronted and had a fallout with her friend about how she dealt with a dining inconvenience visited the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITH) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.

There, Redditor bittergoblin- asked:

"AITA for telling my pescatarian friend it's her fault she ate meat?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"I (23 F[female]) went out to dinner with my friend (25 F[female]) over the weekend at a restaurant in our town. She's been pescatarian since she was 14 and is a huge advocate for eating less meat. I am an omnivore, but I respect her lifestyle choices, especially as she doesn't shame me for my decisions."

"We've never been to this restaurant before so we were excited to try something new. She ordered a squid dish and I ordered a beef dish. When our food arrived, we noticed her squid looks a little strange as it has pieces of what seems like dark meat in it."

"She takes a bite and then calls the waiter over, asking if there's meat in it. The waiter confirms the wrong item was given to our table and apologises profusely (he didn't serve us), taking the dish away and promising the food will be remade correctly and taken off our bill."

"My friend, at the time, accepts this and says that she understands mistakes happen."

The OP continued:

"I asked her if she was okay as she seems a little thrown off (understandably), and she says she's fine but obviously disappointed. Her correct dish arrives and the waiter again apologises to us and she seems okay from this point on."

"At the end of our meal, the restaurant brought us complimentary deserts as an apology and, when we pay (just for my dish and drinks), she leaves a tip."

"The next day, I have a look at the restaurant on google and can see she's left a bad review (1/5 stars) where she details how they brought the wrong item, how distraught she is as a result of their mistake, and demanding compensation (even though the item was taken off our bill and we got free cake)."

"I'm not defending the restaurant as this lack of care is definitely a serious fault, but when the waitress who seated us asked us for any allergies or dietary requirements, she didn't mention she didn't eat meat. She only brought it up after the wrong dish was made."

The OP decided to have a word with her dissatisfied friend.

"I texted her, asking why she left such a poor review and she said that the mistake was 'unacceptable'. I then told her that it's partially her fault that she ate meat because we both noted that her dish looked like it had meat when it was first brought out and that she should've asked the waiter first before eating it."

"She then retaliated and said I was being insensitive and is no longer replying to me."

"I just think it's odd that she said everything was fine AND left a tip to then complain on google. Am I the a**hole?"

"I also want to add that we are in the UK where tipping is optional. There was no service charge already added to the bill, so the tip was entirely her decision."

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
• NAH - No A**holes Here

Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.

"NTA. I've been a vegetarian my whole life. Not that it gives me authority over how other people feel, but anyways."

"From your description, the wrong dish was a simple mistake. If she suspected there was meat, she should have asked beforehand, or heck (what I usually do), asked a meat-eating friend to try it first."

"It does feel really sh**ty when I get accidentally served meat, but people are just people, and mistakes happen. The restaurant immediately apologized and tried to make up for the mistake. I'd feel differently if they tried to make her feel guilty about the situation, but it doesn't seem like they did."

"If she was not satisfied with their resolution, she should have communicated it then and there to give them a chance to fix it, before trying to damage their reputation." – Catracas

"NTA. You just learned that this person is a jerk- and maybe an ex-friend. I'd leave the restaurant a good review- they made a mistake with our order but promptly fixed it, comped the dish, and threw in a free dessert - very classy." – capmanor1755

"NTA, I've been a pescetarian since age 7. If she thought the dish might contain meat, she should've checked with the waiter first instead of checking with her mouth. Mix-ups like these happen. It sounds to me like the restaurant did perfectly fine in terms of compensation."

"If your friend is upset about having eaten one bite of meat because of a mistake, when she noticed and yet didn't ask before tasting, then that should be a learning experience for her. Next time, if something about the order seems off, ask the waiter before eating." – Starsisms

"NTA. She thought it was meat, and she ate it. Accidents happen, and the restaurant went out of their way to fix it. I myself would write a review of what actually happened and put it online. Your friend has little empathy, and I'm sure she has never made a mistake. I say good riddance to her. " – Any_Dragonfruit4130

"NTA."

"As someone who was formerly in the food service industry, I'm the first to admit that mistakes happen."

"However, you're correct that she should have asked if she was unsure because it looked different than she expected."

"Also, the waiter/restaurant did the right thing in apologizing and comping the meal."

"To me it seems as if the review is just seeking attention. The problem was addressed at the time it happened, so there was no need to make it a thing again with the review."

"Honestly? Be glad she's stopped replying. This is not the type of person to be friends with."

"ETA: maybe leave a positive review to counteract hers. Something about how you were present when a mistake was made and they handled it in the appropriate manner." – Strange_Jackfruit_89

"NTA your friend is. She considered the possibility it was meat, because it was obvious to you both, and she accepted that risk by eating it to check instead of checking with the waiter first. She was compensated with free food and apologised to. Come on now." – Outside_Guidance4752

"NTA. It was the restaurant's mistake, and they did try to make it right. You both noticed it looked wrong and she tried it anyway. Her fault."

"She's TA because she left a bad review for something so minor. This is why I take bad reviews with a grain of salt. They are probably not as bad as they say. People can be entitled little nincompoops and can't be trusted with real reviews." – crankoy62

"NTA."

"I'm a vegetarian. I scrutinize almost everything I don't make for myself. It sounds like she could tell something was off before taking a bite. She's been pescatarian for over 10 years and should have known better."

"Plus, mistakes happen. Would I be happy if I took a bite of my food and there was meat in it? No. In fact I would be a little nauseated after speaking from experience. And if I suspected something off, I would ask whoever I was eating with if they were up to trying a bite to confirm, not take the bite myself."

"But I wouldn't hold it against the restaurant in this case. You told the waiter about the mistake, and they fixed it. What's done is done. If they didn't correct it or gave an attitude about changing it, then yes, by all means, write a bad review. But that's not the case here." – NoAppointment3062

"NTA, and if your friend is not responsive, I would suggest you leave your own review. The restaurant took reasonable steps to make restitution - comping her meal and giving you both free dessert."

"FWIW, I was a vegetarian for a decade and am now a pescetarian. I take responsibility for informing the server that I don't eat meat and asking to be alerted if a dish I order might have meat in it. If, after that, a meat-containing dish is mistakenly served to me and I take a bite before I figure it out, I would look at whether there was any other personal responsibility I could have taken to prevent the mistake and then move on."

"Even religions that have strict dietary requirements don't punish someone who is making a sincere effort to keep the dietary laws but eats food that breaks them without intent because of a mistake. Sincere repentance is all that is asked." – Constant_Host_3212

Overall, Redditors thought the OP's friend was out of line for leaving a negative review despite being compensated for the understandably egregious mistake.

They supported the OP for calling her friend out on not questioning her suspicious-looking meal but eating it anyway before raising a fuss.

A parent will do anything for their child, especially when they are in an extremely vulnerable state.

This can unfortunately lead to some resistance depending on how aggressive the parent is in their well-intentioned actions.

But how far is too far?

One mother struggled with this notion after upsetting her daughter during a recent interaction. She subsequently visited the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.

There, Redditor Agreeable_Rule_6632 asked:

"AITA for telling my daughter to eat healthy before chemo?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"So my daughter f[female] 21 is about to start BEP chemo. she just had major surgery to take out a tumor she had and her left ovary."

"She is eating very poorly (take out everyday) like spaghetti pizza and coke she'll rearly eat heathy stuff. she says 'i'm eating what i can while i can because in a few weeks i don't anymore' but i think she should be getting more healthy to prepare because it's very intensive (ie.., nausea acid reflux etc)"

The OP continued:

"She said to stop making it about me and to let her do what she wants but i'm really worried she's not listening to the orders of the doctor in regards to healing. she is going out to the movies when she should be resting."

"She said that it's my body and to stop making it about me but i'm genuinely worried about her health. also she isn't obese or anything i am just worried she isn't taking her health seriously."

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
• NAH - No A**holes Here

Many Redditors thought the OP was the a**hole (TA).

"Oncology nurse here , YTA. I specifically include education to patient families on the first day of what NOT to do. And this is it, don't force feed, don't control food offered, and don't comment on food eaten."

"The only thing you should be worried about is if she looses more than 5% her body weight (heading towards malnutrition and needs a dietician consult for support ) or if loss of taste buds / smell sensitivity is causing issues."

"Your role as a family member is to just slow down and be loving, and advocate if they ask you to." – muddaisy

"Yep. When my Ex-Wife was looking at chemotherapy plus radiotherapy that would blitz her throat she had to gain an extra 10% body weight to weather the no eating. We had 2.5 months, and it was cram any possible high calorie foods you could find and as much as you can, we got recommended icec ream smoothies with milk powder plus protein powder, and the usual burgers/pizza/cookies/chocolate. Was hard but we got there."

"But yeah, OP is YTA, this sh*t is important, you listen to oncologists and the doctors, and as support you do just that. It's a fight literally for life, and even recovery is hard." – JayTheFordMan

"As someone who recently lost a family member to cancer: It's also worth considering that right now *she enjoys eating*. In a few weeks eating will be a struggle. It'll be torture for her and it'll be difficult for you to observe."

"The difference between choosing a salad and pasta right now isn't going to be the deciding factor between whether the treatment works or not but it *may* be the last time she can enjoy food for quite some time, it may permanently change how she reacts to certain foods, and in the absolute worst case this might be the last time she'll ever enjoy eating."

"Why would you take that away from her?" – Wynfleue

"I'm gonna give you some advice. I'm terminal so take it for what you will. Get yourself into therapy. You'll need it. Your way or ways of trying to help won't be useful until you ask her what she needs from you and that might be for you to shut up and not push or it could be to help her with stuff. That's up to to her."

"You can't decide what's helping only she can. When she tells you something listen. When you argued about what she should and shouldn't eat after she'd already told you why and what she's doing you added to her stress and frustration levels. Dont try and argue it's unhelpful at best and adds to the awfulness of the situation."

"And certainly don't bring up 'have you tried this or that to get better?' There's nothing more infuriating. Oils, Chiro , supplements and rumors you heard helped Sally's neighbor's cousin twice removed will be exhausting. Just don't. " – MoulanRougeFae

"I worked at a cancer center and this is spot on what the nurses would say as well. Going back to what they tell new moms now - FED is best. She needs to get calories however she can. Once chemo starts, whatever she can keep down. If a patient can eat healthy, great, if a patient can only eat cheesecake and protein shakes, great."

"My grandfather survived for WEEKS on apples and peanut butter, sometimes milkshakes. When the side effects were at their absolute worst, my straight-laced by-the-book grandfather let my dad's step-brother buy him weed (when medical use was not legal). Surprising choice, but it kept him eating and kept the nausea at bay."

"Same with going out and seeing her friends. I'm SHOCKED if her doctor is actually telling her to rest to the point that going out and sitting in a movie theater with friends is off limits. She needs social support. She needs joy. As a 21 year old woman who is going through the most awful, disruptive thing a young adult can go through, let her have as much NORMALCY as she can."

"Every family worries, but let the clinical people handle the clinical stuff. They'll help her handle the loss of appetite, there are supplements that they can give to get her through. There will hopefully be many years on the other side of treatment for her to worry about what she eats." –
angrygnomes58

"YTA Your heart is in the right place, but you aren't seeing things from her point-of-view. She's 21 years old with a very serious form of cancer. That's not something a 21yo is mentally equipped to deal with (who is, really?). She doesn't have the emotional or mental bandwidth to be concerned about that right now."

"It would be one thing if you brought her healthy meals so she didn't have to cook/get takeout or something, but you nagging her about her diet is not what she needs right now. You aren't helping. You're just causing more stress."

"Also, going out to the movies isn't exactly exerting." – SoMuchMoreEagle

"YTA:"

"It's your daughter's body, she gets to decide what to put in it. You need to stop acting like your daughter's doctor unless she needs and asks you to. One thing you need to understand is that your daughter has cancer, she has a steady team of doctors and she doesn't need any unqualified doctors at home. She needs her MOM, not a doctor or dictator."

"Going to the movies isn't going to affect her, all she's doing is sitting there watching moving pictures on a screen, she isn't bungee jumping."

"I understand that you're scared and worried, but your daughter needs support and love, not more doctoring and dictatorship. YTA." – crocodilezebramilk

"YTA."

"This is mom panic. I had it when my son had to have abdominal surgery while living alone in a second floor apartment. I really had to reign it in (he was about this age and had only moved out less than a year before) but I did buy him slip on shoes against his will because he wasn't supposed to bend over far enough to tie his shoes for weeks but was still advised to start walking some before then."

"He wore them. They were useful, unlike unasked for advice."

"You are trying to control her diet to control the outcome of something that cannot be solved by salad. It is magical thinking. A couple weeks of what you consider to be healthy food will not stop her having a poor reaction to chemo. "

"Your kid is afraid and you're lecturing her? About pizza and movies? Get a grip and a therapist." – bethsophia

"YTA. I went through chemo last year and it sucked. When I was able to eat I shovelled as much junk and feel good food in as possible. You need to let her get her pleasures where she can because they will soon become a lot fewer."

"From a health perspective my doctors were only concerned about keeping my weight up they didn't give a flying f'k what I was eating or drinking." – nuttz0r

"YTA. Cancer survivor here. Not eating healthy is not going to feed her cancer. Sugar is not going to feed her cancer. Absolutely let her eat whatever she wants while she can. Chemo is going to kill her appetite, make her nauseous, give her heartburn, make her exhausted, and CHANGE THE WAY FOOD TASTES."

"It's been three and a half years since chemo, and to this day, there are things I used to eat all the time that I won't touch anymore. If she's following the doctor's orders, let her go to the movies. Her immune system is about to be majorly compromised. Please let her enjoy this time before chemo." – Recent_Strawberry13

Overall, Redditors encouraged the OP to back off as a healthier diet won't do much to help her daughter in her current state.

Many also agreed that denying her any sense of normalcy before heading into chemo would be cruel and cause further resentment leveled at her.

It is the top priority of all divorced parents to make sure their children are healthy and well cared for.

However, after getting divorced, some parents might choose to implement some parenting decisions that their former spouses previously didn't approve of.

Most of the time, this proves not to be much of an issue, after all, as the saying goes, "their house their rules".

Others, however, believe that even when living apart, all major parenting decisions should still be made together.

So when one parent makes a decision regarding their child without consulting the other first, it does not go over well.

Redditor ThrowRA-Vegan876 initially partook in one of their ex-wife's lifestyle choices and agreed to raise their three children this way.

Following their divorce, however, the original poster (OP) slowly stopped living this way.

When he eventually began allowing their children to break away from this lifestyle as well, the OP's ex-wife made her displeasure with this decision fully apparent.

Wondering if they were out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for breaking my children's vegan diet imposed on them by my ex?"

The OP explained why their ex-wife was furious with a recent parenting decision made without them:

"I was with my ex 'Venus' for over 10 years, from when I was 15 until I was almost 26."

"I am currently 31."

"Venus was raised a vegan and has never (to my knowledge) eaten meat or any animal product."

"While we were together, we had 3 boys, "Mercury' (11, M[ale]), 'Jupiter', (9, M[ale]), and 'Mars' (7, M[ale])."

"When I first got into the relationship with Venus, I started to follow the vegan diet because she wanted me to, and I've mostly followed it even after we broke up, mainly out of habit."

"During this time, I had to be very careful with what I ate to ensure I got the proper nutrients, and my food bill every month was sky-high."

"I also had a lot of issues with depression and anxiety."

"About 3 months ago, I slowly started to reintroduce meat into my diet, and since then, I've felt so much better."

"I haven't had to buy loads of vitamins or carefully plan my diet to ensure I got every amino acid or avoided deficiencies, and my food bill dropped."

"I also started doing research into kids who are raised vegan and found some things that made me nervous."

"I read that vegan kids can sometimes be shorter and might need supplements for things like B12, calcium, and iron if they aren't getting everything they need from their diet."

"None of my boys have started puberty yet, which might be okay, but since I hit puberty at around 9, it got me worried about Mercury."

"They're also all in about the 5th-15th percentile for height and weight, which made me want to check in with the doctor, which also made me very concerned after I learnt that their vegan diet could have impacted this."

"I was never a short kid, but idk I think I just assumed they were just short for their age."

"When I brought my concerns to our GP, he recommended introducing meat and animal products into their diets first to see if it would help with growth before considering other options."

"So, following that advice, 6 weeks ago I decided to slowly introduce animal products into their diets whenever they had their time with me, but it has been slow."

"I don't want to introduce it too fast and I gave them the choice with all the information I had and with what the doctor said."

"I informed Venus about this and she was furious with me, saying how I'm just doing it to be vindictive to her, when I'm not."

"And that if I don't stop she is going to go back to family court and get the Child Arrangements Order changed so she has full custody of the boys and I only get visitation."

"I told her that this was recommended by their GP and she said I had 'no right in going to the GP without her', when that is not true, it was during my time with them I am entitled to do whatever I want."

"She's calling me cruel and she's been telling our boys that they should refuse to eat any animal products and to say I'm forcing them."

"When this isn't true and every time they've been over they've loved trying new foods like real milk, eggs, etc."

"some they don't like which is fair."

"AITA?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

• NTA: Not the A**hole
• YTA: You're the A**hole
• ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
• NAH: No A**holes Here

With some exceptions, the Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for feeding their children meat.

Some agreed that the OP was merely thinking of the health and well-being of his children, which their ex-wife should not only have accepted but appreciated.

"'She said I had 'no right in going to the GP without her'."

"I'm curious if she involves you in all medical visits during her time."

"'Right' implies a legal issue, what does your custody agreement say about medical stuff?"

"NTA."

"I'd recommend getting medical documentation for the inevitable custody battle that's coming your way."

"It's weird af that only she gets to decide their diet and I really can't see any court enforcing her diet onto others."- Remote-Passenger7880

"I don't know where you live, but you might want to check on your custody agreement, and see what options you have."

'It could be useful to get a full blood panel done on the kids."

"Yes, you have to be really deliberate about getting everything you need if you're vegan."

"It's possible, but complicated."

"And eating meat doesn't guarantee you're getting everything either."

'It would be good to know whether the kids have deficiencies."

"NTA."- hubertburnette

"NTA."

"They're your children too."

"You're doing it in consultation with a medical professional and allowing your children to choose."- PerhapsTheFinalOne

"NTA."

"She's off her rocker if she thinks a judge will grant her full custody to feed her underweight children a vegan diet against the advice of their pediatrician."

"No judge will force a family to adhere to one parent's diet on the other parent's time UNLESS there are serious medical issues involved."

"Choose to be vegan- as an adult, with the finances and ability to ensure you're getting a balanced diet."

"It is extremely hard to feed growing and pubescent kids a vegan diet alone."

"It IS expensive, it IS difficult to ensure all needs are met, and it IS actually just as costly environmentally when you consider the amount of global shipping and third world poverty of food/spice items that are not local."

"The HEALTHIEST for the environment is to eat a completely local diet like indigenous people all around the world do."

'The HEALTHIEST diet for a human is what works with their body."

"Diet is not a one size fits all and she's damaging her kids by her attitude."

"Keep the receipts!"

"Track their diet and their growth."

"Get bloodwork done and add in thyroid and vitamin D which are usually separate lab tests."

"Keep track of their energy levels and how they're feeling."- Jmfroggie

Others, however felt that this was a major parenting decision the OP should have consulted their ex about, even if his intentions were honorable.

"I have to go with YTA, not because you want to give your kids meat, but because you got a pretty serious diagnosis and large lifestyle change recommendations from a doctor and decided to implement them on your own."

"Were you really just planning on sneaking them meat every other week when you had them in your custody?"

"As you know you shouldn't just shove a bunch of meat at someone who has been eating vegan as that can cause problems too."

"And this shouldn't be a one parent only treatment."

"You should have talked with yer ex immediately and if she was super resistant then you get the lawyer involved with the doctors recommendations."- xela2004

"There are cultures in Asia living for generations from vegetarian and vegan diets but thank God most Reddit users know better and most specialists in nutrition."

"Some doctors like veganism, some dislike it, but it seems to me this is not the best way to manage kids core education."

"You both need to agree on this because you'll have many topics like this in the future."

"YTA."- Negative_Comfort6848

It seems clear that the OP was putting the health and safety of his children first and foremost.

However, doing it without speaking to his wife first may have been a mistake.

As had they both spoken to the doctor about this matter, the OP's wife may have gone on board.

As at the end of the day, all parents care about is that their children are safe and healthy, and will do whatever it takes to ensure things stay that way.

When helping someone looking to make improvements, encouragement and advice is important while constant criticism is discouraging.

But sometimes what one person thinks is advice and encouragement is received as criticism.

A person dealing with the fallout of his dieting assistance turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Substantial-Grape541 asked:

"AITA for telling my girlfriend the exact amount of calories she ate in a single day?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"My girlfriend is on the bigger side, which is something I do not mind. I am on the more fit side, I'm pretty lean, have well defined muscles and probably around 15% body fat.

"I used to be about 40 pounds heavier and lost the weight pretty simply."

"My girlfriend always complains about her weight and her body. I tell her I find her sexy for so many reasons outside her body and it didn't matter to me whether she got bigger or smaller."

"Eventually she decided she wanted to lose weight."

"I offered to help and when I pointed out things she could be doing better she gets mad at me. She isn't losing weight currently and in fact says she is gaining a few extra pounds."

"I ask her what exactly she eats in a day. She says she eats healthy so she should lose weight."

"I question that and we have an argument. I tell her that if she wants to show me, let me just spend a day with her and see what she eats in a day."

"She said only if I don't make comments on what she's eating as she's eating it. I agreed."

"Now by the end of the day she had consumed a plate of avocado toast that was about 400 calories, a coffee that was 110 calories, an 800 calorie salad from Chick-fil-A and a fry (as a 'reward' for the salad) and veggie burrito that was about 500 calories. Along with snaking a bit throughout the day."

"Her total consumption was about 2200 calories."

"At the end of the day, I explained this to her. My exact words were that the amount of calories she is consuming is the amount I need to maintain my weight as a man 5 inches and 20 pounds bigger, who is constantly active."

"So chances are she'll slowly gain weight eating like that and that eating healthy isn't going to guarantee she'll lose weight."

"She got super f*cking pissed at me and told me I wasn't helping her and was just shaming her. I told her I want to help her, but she did not listen."

The OP summed up their situation.

"I could be an a**hole for giving the feedback I did in a way my girlfriend wasn't receptive to, I guess it could also be taken pretty badly that I just tallied up everything she did 'wrong'."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was the a**hole (YTA).

"YTA. I get you want to help, but given that you've offered all this advice and help without being asked, it can come across as pushy. A lot of people will complain about their weight, but won't change or properly focus on their diet until they're ready."

"Just tell her you're happy to exercise or meal prep with her if she likes and leave it at that. And if she complains about anything, ask her is she looking for advice or to vent before giving your opinion. Saves any unnecessary arguments." ~ CockroachWarm5508

"YTA. Doesn't seem like she ever asked for this help you continually volunteered." ~ sorrySheamus

"It sounds more like she's venting about an issue rather than directly asking you for help."

"Weight loss/gain is also more complicated for some people than just calories. Women have different needs than men, and her body is going to respond differently than yours. I think if this is something she serious about, she should consult a professional like a nutritionist and see what their advice is."

"There could also be other factors you're not accounting for. If she's on birth control, that could easily be the cause of weight gain despite any attempts to lose it."

"While you had good intentions, I don't think it had the result you wanted. I'm gonna say a pretty gentle YTA cause I think all you managed was hurting your partner's feelings." ~ actuallywaffles

"YTA. If you're shoving numbers in someone's face, it's not going to work."

"Why are either of you eating fast food? Start cooking for both of you at home. Creates a healthier relationship with food, and it's fun." ~ Additional_Initial_7

"YTA for the way you handled it. But I know you mean well so I'll share something that worked for me."

"She wants to lose weight. Most people can relate to that. But we sometimes fail to go a step further and ask ourselves why we want that. Is it an aesthetic thing? A health thing?"

"If it's about health, it would be good to focus on the health issues she's experiencing. Is she low on energy? Does she want to be able to build more endurance? Is it respiratory issues? Muscle pain?"

"Try to focus on that instead of just the scale. What diet or what activity would help her feel better? Maybe she doesn't need to lose weight at all, just build muscle or train her cardiovascular system."

"Weight is very heavily loaded with negative emotions. Finding other goals is usually easier, as they're not linked to trauma so they can be pursued better. Try to focus on how much she can walk a day, how much weight she can lift, how fast she can swim or how well she sleeps, instead of just the scale and the calories." ~ assuntta7

"Suggestion 1. Don't tell her what not to do, it isn't helpful and comes across as patronising. Make suggestions on what she could do."

"For example instead of 'don't eat that it's not healthy' or 'don't eat so much', you could suggest foods she could eat instead. Calorie counting is a difficult thing for some people, especially some women."

"Suggestion 2. You could alternatively make it about being healthier instead of losing weight. Motivate her to eat healthy. 5 fruit and veg a day, lean proteins, less sugar and less salt."

"While these do not necessarily result in losing weight, I mean for all intents and purposes they kind of do. Eating more fruit and veg may also take her appetite away."

"Suggestion 3. Talk to her and ask her what she wants from you (should have been 1) I would say a very light YTA, sounds like you're coming off a bit strong even though I'm sure you have the best intentions." ~ BillyBong94

"How educated are you on women's fitness, energy, and nutritional differences given their menstrual cycle (plus any of the common hormonal disorders like PCOS if relevant for gf)?"

"Leaning towards YTA assuming it was never really discussed tangibly. Just because you 'offered to help' doesn't mean it was welcomed. Just because it may be welcomed it may not be the way you instinctively want to help."

"Just like there's love languages, I believe there's help/support languages. Are you both aware of how you may differ in this dynamic?"

"As a woman, sometimes my helpful dudes in my life help too aggressively when given the opportunity. It feels like they take over rather than support. I can't imagine feeling like a man may be trying to mansplain my body and diet to me, however innocent the intent."

"Body image is usually deeply personal and sensitive for many women, so we can be protective of things we perceive or actually are harmful to our well-being."

"Even your wording of 'I question what exactly…' feels gross to me. Most people who didn't ask for that kind of support specifically would like bristle. Imagine your boss said that about how you spent your time at work… "

"I question what exactly you do in a day… and then we have an argument! Are you feeling inappropriately overly responsible for her success so you use this kind of language (super outcome/solution focused)?"

"Are you potentially projecting internalized stories about body image, weight management, effort, intellect, etc... onto your gf? (ex. You believe anyone can lose weight if they just xyz hard enough bc it's not rocket science). "

"You know how at the end of your post you are frustrated that you want to help, but 'she won't listen'? Maybe… just maybe… your gf feels similar. She wants XYZ from you but you just won't listen."

"Maybe ask her to give you some specific ways she would feel you could give support."

"Maybe let her set the pace for her weight loss. Even if that feels frustrating to you, it's HER body."

"Maybe listen to her when she says she is feeling shamed. Your intention to just help and not shame is irrelevant in that moment. The reality is she felt bad bc of something you did/said. Listen to her. Without trying to fix it."

"Maybe encourage her to build a portfolio of friends or family who can diversify her support so it's not all on you."

"Maybe remember that more information isn't what she needs most. Believe it or not, most people know what they need to do. Instead they are feeling like sh*t is too hard and are in need of encouragement or someone who will join in the suck with them."

"You sound exasperated and kind of over it. And at the same time you come off as exasperating." ~ YAYtersalad

Unsolicited advice is rarely appreciated.

Advice about sensitive subjects does even more poorly.

Trying to eat healthy isn't easy for everybody.

It can be a big problem with age.

Starting new and healthier habits after decades of bad choices can be an uphill battle.

The struggle can often lead to issues with loved ones.

Some people who live with healthier habits don't have a lot of patience for others who don't.

Fights over the menu is a real thing.

Redditor RiskUpset4107 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

"AITA for throwing out my kid's food?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"When I was a child my mother had no concept of what healthy food is."

"If it said diet on the box it was ok."

"She would serve me cereal for breakfast."

"Dinners were often processed ready-to-eat junk or McDonalds."

"After-school snacks were cookies and Little Debbie."

"My mom is obese and I was almost 300 lbs when I graduated high school."

"It was only after I moved out that I realized how unhealthy I was and it took me years to lose that childhood weight and establish good eating habits."

"My wife has always had them and was brought up by a family that didn't trust processed foods."

"My family and I now follow a whole-food diet for ourselves."

"My mom had a heart attack and is almost 400 lbs."

"This is her 3rd heart attack and she wasn't able to make rent so now she is living with me and recovering at my home."

"She has been to a nutritionist multiple times for her weight and acts like she is too stupid to understand what they are saying or acts like no one really eats like that or the doctors and nurses are bullying her because of her weight."

"She has been ordering junk food and takeout on apps like Instant Cart and Uber Eats."

"She has been feeding my kids the same junk food."

"Even after I told her to stop."

"I hear the ring camera go off and my youngest child gets my mom's latest McDonalds order."

"My mom got both of my kids a Happy Meal."

"This was the 3rd time she has done this week."

"I took my kid's Happy Meals and tossed them in the trash and poured cleaner on top of them."

"I told my mom if wants to eat herself to death that's ok with me but do not kill my children like you almost killed me as a child with this trash."

"Things got heated because my mom was crying saying she doesn't know any better and one Happy Meal will not hurt my children."

"I told her this is the 3rd one this week and if she gives my children junk again she will find herself in a nursing home."

"My mom cried and cried saying I was mean to her and all the doctors do is bully her."

"She just wants to live her life."

"I told her she's not living her best life she's eating herself to death."

"My mom called me a bully and told my children I was a bully and not to act like me in school."

"I told my mom I'm fed up with her and I'm looking at nursing homes later that week and I'm not having her bring this lifestyle into my home around my children."

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA. Your mother needs mental health help."

"Get her out of your house."

"She is sharing her bad habits with your children, and manipulating them when she can't get her way." ~ Vicious_Lilliputian

"This is tough, you could try explaining boundaries."

"10 can understand that."

"That you set a rule, and Grandma is breaking it on purpose, pretending not to know."

"You could explain that you are very worried for their health and feel very angry with your mother because she is jeopardizing their health."

"Regardless, I hope 10 understands that you are not a bully and NTA!" ~ Blank_Chaotic

"Absolutely NTA. If your mom cannot show basic respect for you as a parent by following your expectations and rules on the foods the kids are eating, she should be shown the door."

"It's not like you reached this point the first time, you only got there after she repeatedly ignored your wishes."

"Your mom has a mental health issue."

"I suspect, and as you note, what she does herself is one thing but plying your kids with fast food three times in a week against their parent's wishes and claiming to not know any better is just not ok - it's manipulative and toxic."

"You aren't a bully for having rules or expecting them to be followed."

"It sounds like she is problematic in your home, a negative influence and a huge source of drama, and you should be looking at alternative options for her, as you are." ~ owls_and_cardinals

"NTA - This 'Things got heated because my mom was crying saying she didn't know any better and one Happy Meal will not hurt my children."

"No, one won't hurt them but a thousand ones will."

"And this, 'I told my mom I'm fed up with her and I'm looking at nursing homes later that week and I'm not having her bring this lifestyle into my home around my children.'"

"Is EXACTLY what you need to do."

"Your mother has a compulsive eating disorder and is a carrier of it infecting your children."

"You need to protect the health of your children, and she hasn't the will or sense to alter her behavior."

"And she is a danger to all around her."

"So, putting her into a controlled environment (the last I heard they don't have a MickyD's on the premises) will not only help your kids but help her as well.

"Do it!" ~ PumpkinPowerful3292

"NTA and I think you do need to find an alternative place for your mom to live now."

"You will not be able to stop her from feeding her junk to your kids and she's doubly crossed the line by telling your kids that you are a bully."

"Even if she doesn't feed them directly, they will want it, sneak it, and have her behavior modeled for them."

"However, I do need to ask if you ever allow your kids to have junk food."

"I agree it's an occasional treat but if you never allow them to have it they could develop an unhealthy relationship with food which could cause them to binge when they get older or under eat." ~ Elizabeth__Sparrow

"Absolutely NTA - your house, your kids, your rules."

"What was your kids' reaction to all this?"

"In an age-appropriate way, I'd be honest with them and explain why that food isn't healthy food and that yes, maybe it can be a sometimes food, but if you eat sometimes food too much, you can get sick like grandma."

"I feel bad for how intentionally ignorant your mom is being and risking her relationship with her grandkids for McDonald's."

"It sounds like she has some mental disorder that's causing her to blame literally everyone and everything else for her problems and never take responsibility."

"I'd keep on the track of getting her in a home because I wouldn't want that attitude rubbing off on my kids." ~ FrancyCat92

OP came back to chat...

"The older one 10 thinks I'm a bully because he said it's wrong to bully people overweight in school."

"That I completely agree with as a former obese child, but I tell him grandma is sick from all the food she ate."

"It's a difficult conversation because I don't want my children to start on good food vs bad food."

"That brings in other problems."

Reddit continued...

"Hi, child psychologist here."

"While you're right about staying away from labeling foods as good and bad, it's absolutely fine to discuss healthy, nutritious food versus treat food that tastes good but doesn't nourish the body."

"One way you can frame the situation with grandma is that she really needs to be eating nutritious foods to heal her body just like they (your kids) need to be eating nutritious foods in order to grow and develop properly."

"Remind them that it's fine to have treated foods on occasion, but three times in a week, where a whole meal is replaced with treated food, is not eating well, and doing that can lead to illness.

"For your older kid, you could even talk about how some people can get addicted to eating only treat food like someone can get addicted to drugs because eating only that kind of food all the time changes the brain to only want that kind of food."

"Grandma has an addiction to food that is not good for her body, but eating that kind of food constantly makes it more likely she'll stay sick and maybe have another heart attack."

"Explain that it's hard for Grandma to understand why it's bad to eat that kind of food every day because her brain has convinced her that's what she needs all the time."

"It's because you love her, and love your kids, that you reacted so strongly."

"What looks like you being mean is actually you demonstrating tough love."

"Sometimes being harsh is the only way someone can hear you, and Grandma had ignored your other attempts to talk about it and make changes."

"You aren't bullying Grandma for her weight, you are upset that she is refusing the doctor's instructions and not trying to heal her body from sickness, and her diet is a big part of that."

"You are upset that she is giving you too much treat food, which means not getting enough nutritious food."

"You are the parent and it's your job to make sure your kids have what they need."

"If your kids know that you previously struggled with your weight, remind them that you were once unhealthy because you ate that way, and you'd never want that for them."

"If they don't, now is a good time to bring it up."

"Describe struggling to walk, shortness of breath, congested skin, whatever was true for you."

"Explain that bodies run on nutritious food like a car runs on gas (if you have gas-powered cars), and without nutritious foods the body doesn't work well."

"Explain the differences in how you feel with a nutritious diet versus too much-treated food."

"Emphasize regularly that it's about eating well, not about weight."

"Obviously, this is a lot, so take from this what will work in your situation. Good luck!"

"Oh, and NTA." ~ DrKittyLovah

"I'll say NTA."

"But in the unsolicited advice section - I hope you're limiting as much of this argument around your kids as you can."

"I realize your mom is not, and she's weaponizing them ('telling them not to act like me)."

"I also hope you're having a talk with your kids and unpacking this as much as you can."

"Not sure how old they are, but since they are 'Happy Meal' age, this can be pretty difficult."

"That and... it does feel a little bit like your kids are getting punished unintentionally with Grandma dangling this fun thing and you take it away."

"I also understand this is your mom's fault, but kids are getting kinda caught in the crossfire."

"I mean, at least save off the Happy Meal toys for them." ~ SoImaRedditUserNow

"While you could've handled this more tactfully, definitely NTA."

"Your children are your responsibility to raise."

"If you set a boundary, then it should be respected. It wasn't."

"Now, there are consequences."

"You're doing what you have to do." ~ TheGoodJeans

"NTA. There's no reason for your mother to buy junk food for your kids in your own home."

"If she can't follow that rule, then indeed, you need to find her another place to live."

"Clearly, she wants other people to eat the same as her so she can continue claiming her diet is normal."

"You and your wife know better, so she's trying to corrupt your kids." ~ 1962Michael

"NTA. If she has money for doordash, she has money to move out." ~ Direct_Crab3923

"NTA. She does know better and is choosing to not do better." ~ ButItSaysOnline

Reddit understands your plight, OP.

It's hard to take a stand with your parents as an adult.

You're trying to do what's best for everybody, especially her.

Hopefully, she come around before it's too late.

Good luck.

Having friends and family over for dinner can be a complicated endeavor.

Namely owing to the concern that not everyone might like what you plan on serving.

Accommodating everyone's diets and allergies can also be a burden.

Thankfully, some guests are polite enough to stomach eating something they normally hate for one night or give their hosts fair warning that their dietary restrictions might pose problems, so they might even bring food of their own.

Unfortunately, not everyone is as practical or understanding.

The family of a recent Redditor was getting ready for their annual family reunion, which culminated in a massive cookout.

Throwing a wrench in these plans, however, was the original poster (OP)'s sister, who had recently made significant changes to her diet.

So much so that the OP's sister insisted that all the food served at the cookout adhered to her dietary restrictions and beliefs.

A demand the OP found completely unreasonable, which she had no trouble telling to her sister's face.

Fearing she may have been out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for telling my sister she's ruining our family tradition by being vegan?"

The OP explained why she felt the need to put her sister in her place:

"I (29 F[emale]) come from a very close-knit family."

"Every year, we have a big family reunion where everyone gathers at our grandparents' farm for a week of fun, bonding, and a massive feast on the last night."

"This feast is a big deal—it's a traditional barbecue with recipes passed down through generations."

"This year, my younger sister (24 F) announced that she's become vegan."

"While I respect her choices, she insisted that the entire feast be vegan to accommodate her."

"My grandparents, who are in their late 70s, have been preparing for this reunion for months, planning all the usual dishes."

"They were confused and hurt when my sister demanded they change everything."

"I tried to find a compromise by suggesting we have a few vegan dishes alongside the traditional ones."

"But my sister said that wasn't good enough and that having non-vegan food at the table would make her uncomfortable and ruin her experience."

"Things got heated, and I told her that while her new lifestyle is important, it's unfair to expect the whole family to change a cherished tradition for her."

"I suggested she could bring her own vegan dishes if she felt that strongly about it."

"She called me selfish and said I was undermining her beliefs."

"Now, my parents are torn, and the reunion is in jeopardy."

"Half the family thinks I'm being reasonable, while the other half believes we should support my sister's new choices."

"AITA for telling my sister she's ruining our family tradition by being vegan?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
• NAH – No A**holes Here

The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**Hole for confronting her sister.

While not everyone agreed that the OP's sister was ruining everything with her decision to be vegan, they agreed that her demand for an entirely vegan menu at the barbecue was highly unreasonable, and she deserved to know that.

"NTA."

"Offering a few vegan dishes for her is a perfectly fine compromise."

"It could even lead to your other relatives enjoying the vegan dishes and thinking about going vegan as well."

"But demanding that every single meal be vegan is very selfish."

"If she has that big of a problem with there being nonvegan food, she shouldn't come."- tari-bunny

"NTA."

"There is a reason why there is often a lot of backlash against vegans, and it is almost entirely down to people like your sister."

"Her diet is her personal choice and goes against the tradition and standards that have been followed up until now - she is expecting every other attendee to compromise their enjoyment of the event (not that vegan food is necessarily bad, but in this case, it means omitting peoples favorite dishes) solely for her enjoyment."

"While she can disapprove of people eating a non-vegan diet, she has to be able to accept it and be around it."

"That's not to say there isn't room for improvement and change in traditions - there is no reason you couldn't include for vegan options, and if society's attitude continues to change towards veganism and such diets, then there may come a time a tradition like this starts having more vegan attendees and less traditional meat-based dishes, but that will be a natural progression over time as the whole attendee group changes, not forced upon it by one person."- Nrysis

"She's not ruining your family tradition by being vegan herself - she IS ruining it by insisting that everyone bend to her will."

"So, on that basis, NTA."

"Veganism is not a 'protected characteristic' under equalities law, and it's militant entitled vegans like your sister who inspire jokes like the vegan and vegetarian jumping off a cliff, which made me go oof, AND laugh my arse off."- TeenySod

"NTA."

"No one has any right to dominate a menu over personal choices when they aren't even providing the food or the setting."

"I'd turn her own sh*t back on her and refuse to go unless there's meat available."- TheVaneja

"She gets to choose to be vegan for HERSELF."

"She doesn't get to FORCE it on others."

"Why is that so hard for people?"

"NTA."- angel9_writes

"NTA."

"Your sister expects her whole family to accommodate her, but she isn't willing to accommodate them."- CrabbiestAsp

"NTA."

"I'm intolerant to milk I don't make people change an entire party just for me, I will bring my own dishes if necessary."- No_Caramel2506

"NTA."

"Veganism is a choice not the cult your sister is trying to turn it into."

"Trying to force it on others is not cool. It's bullying."- Useful_Context_2602

"NTA."

"My cousin is vegan and she accepts us eating meat during our last vacation together we had one evening a complete vegan dinner on the other days she got her vegan dish."

"You could tell her she is selfish for not supporting/undermining your meat-based tradition."- BluetoothXIII

"NTA."

"Continue with BBQ as planned."

"Send out a text with the menu and say any other dishes you'd like, please bring them to share."

"She can come or not come. Leave the choice up to her."- wlfwrtr

"NTA."

"She is being the type of vegan that everyone hates."

"She needs to stop pushing her agenda on the extended family and either suck it up for the family feast or not attend for that night."

"She needs to pull her head in and stop being too entitled. It is not a good look on anyone."-Humble_Scarcity1195

"NTA."

"You gave her great options. She chose not to accept them."

"The audacity to call you selfish for suggesting very reasonable compromises while she's demanding EVERYONE change their traditions and not eat what they want and enjoy just because having nonvegan things around makes her uncomfortable?"

"What?"

"Does she think having milk or meat in the same room is going to contaminate the vegan dishes?"

"Does she know grocery stores sell nonvegan things alongside the vegan ones?"

"As someone who has worked in a grocery store employees often stock things like meat and cheese then go stock stuff like veggies."

"So no animal products at all or is it just food?"

"Does that mean she only wears cotton or polyester?"

"No wool or silk?"

"No leather or suede belts or bags or shoes?"

"No fur coats or blankets?"

"Will she get uncomfortable and expect YOU to never use any of these things?"

"What type of mattress does she have?"

"Do her pillows have feathers?"

"If the answer to any of these is yes, then she is a hypocrite to ask y'all to change your entire feast to vegan when she wouldn't even be a true vegan."

"If she goes to a restaurant, is she going to throw a fit because the stranger at the table next to her ordered a burger or a steak?"

"People that expect others to change their livelihood to accommodate their CHOICES are wild."

"It would be one thing if she developed an allergy and was asking for that to be excluded, but to demand all animal products be excluded because of her moral beliefs is a whole other level of crazy entitlement."

"If being around nonvegan food makes her THAT uncomfortable, she should just stay home where she's comfortable with all her synthetic and protein deficit products."- ApprehensiveEgg6415

It can be frustrating to show up for a meal, only to discover there is no food you are able to eat.

And an all-vegan menu might be a little more understandable if this was a celebration specifically for the OP's sister.

However, as this was a family celebration, she did not have the final say on the menu.

If the OP had been a bit more sensitive and supportive of her sister's new vegan lifestyle, she would also have been right to stand up to her.

Regardless of what food is served, this is bound to be a family reunion to remember.

Pregnancy can be a wonderful time for parents. But it can also be stressful because of how a lot of society views pregnant people.

Unsolicited advice and unwanted touching are major issues many cite.

What's up with putting your hands on a person's abdomen without their consent?

A mom-to-be frustrated with a friend's advice about her pregnancy turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

PollutionPrior2939 asked:

"AITA for telling my husband's girl best friend she can't host my baby shower?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"I (22, female) and my husband (23, male) got married young, I was eighteen, he was nineteen. Both of us knew we always wanted to get married and start a family young."

"I started college two years ago, and he just graduated with a Bachelor of Biomedical Science. My husband has a girl best friend—(23, female) who I'll call Sam—who he met in college."

"Both of them grew up Baptist, and while he's left the church, they had a very similar childhood and bonded quite quickly."

"Despite what you may be thinking, her and I got along really well. She and I liked the same music and we were both studying in relatively the same fields so she became a friend of mine as well."

"Since I found out I was pregnant though, some issues have started to arise. We announced our pregnancy on social media after we told our parents."

"Sam texted my husband a congrats text and then told him to pass on her well wishes to me. She's been texting him nonstop with baby advice and what she likes to call 'advice for mama' which includes sometimes relatively targeted jabs at what I should eat."

"Honestly,  I kept brushing the texts off, but it got a point where the conversations were less about the baby and more about me. Which I was getting increasingly uncomfortable with because she wasn't texting me, she was texting my husband."

"My husband acknowledged this and has just started to show them to me and ask what I want him to do. I just told him to ignore them."

"When I announced I was having a baby shower and sent out the invites, I recieved a text from Sam. She said something along the lines of wanting to host my baby shower and set it up."

"I told her politely that my mom was planning on hosting it with the help of my sister and that it was a special moment for them and I wouldn't want to take that away. Well Sam ignored that message, because the next day, she came over and insisted we start working out arrangements for the venue."

"I told her once again, my mom and sister were hosting it. She told me that I should take her advice and let her plan it because she'd ensure that the baby shower would be better if she planned it—particularly because she'd be working on the menu."

"Whether it was pregnancy hormones or just bottled-up rage, I told her that the jabs she'd been making at me behind my back about my diet during this pregnancy to my husband were really annoying. And that, no, she cannot host this shower, and from now on, her unsolicited advice was not appreciated—especially if she can't say it to my face."

"That night my husband's phone blew up with messages from Sam saying that he had no right to show me those messages. They were just supposed to be health tips because Sam was studying nutritional science and only wanted to help her best friend and ensure a happy baby and life."

"I know she had somewhat good intentions and she's been a good friend to my husband and to me."

"So, AITA?"

The OP summed up their situation.

"I didn't need to blow up at her; she was just trying to help no matter what misguided. I understand she may have good intentions and has just gone about them the wrong way."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).

"NTA, your instincts are right on this one. If the two of you got along so well, why wasn't Sam texting you directly with all her 'helpful' advice?"

"This woman sounds like she is trying to insert herself between you and your husband in a really nasty, manipulative way. I think you need to have a serious discussion with your husband about boundaries." ~ TeenySod

"The insistence on being the one to plan the baby shower gives me the heebie jeebies though. It's almost like she thinks she has a right to plan the shower, as if the baby is hers." ~ TerminologyLacking

"She knows the baby is gonna pull the husband's focus away from her and more towards his family. So by pulling the baby focus towards her, she's trying to lure him back in."

"You see this when they realise they can't outshine the big thing (the actual baby), so they try to suck up all surrounding focus (hosting the shower, giving oh so helpful advice, etc...)."

"Oh god, this just made me so glad I bailed on a social thing this weekend where I would have had to deal with a person who's like this. Even when you don't play their game, these narcissistic people are draining."

"Like, where do they find the energy to find the audacity? Isn't it just easier to be nice to people and form genuine bonds? NTA." ~ meggatronia

"Your husband had 'no right' to show you those messages‽‽ I assume Sam isn't married. Healthy relationships don't have secrets. You are NTA. He needs to cut her off." ~ Mother_to3

"You know what's bad for the baby....stress, and she's adding to it. Your husband needs to set boundaries with his 'friend' now before he starts looking like an a**hole. NTA."

"When the baby comes, neither of you will have time to entertain a third party because you'll be exhausted."

"She sounds borderline crazy. Make sure she doesn't try to hurt you and keep her far away from the baby." ~ InfamousCup7097

The OP provided a pair of updates, beginning with:

"Hi everyone, first I just want to thank you for all your support, truly it means the world."

"Okay, so Hubby and I phoned Sam today and talked to her about the issues we were having with how she was acting. I explained that I was very uncomfortable with the fact that she had been texting my husband,  not me, about my pregnancy and eating habits."

"That when she assumed she would be granted secrecy and she wasn't, she got mad. Sam explained that in the moment it seemed like a good idea not to text me directly in case she overstepped and made me mad."

"So she was hoping that if she explained things to my husband, he would be able to relay that info to me casually. She assured she just wanted to help protect and nurture the baby."

"To that I said that this isn't her baby. I am perfectly capable of making sure the baby is healthy."

"She apologised and explained that truly she only thought she was doing something good."

"Husband and I explained we are just going to distance ourselves a bit because this situation has not only made me uncomfortable, but husband also said that he needs to focus on his wife right now. Sam needs to take a backseat."

"I don't think she was overly happy with this, but she said okay. She asked if she was still invited to the baby shower and Hubby said it may be best that she skips it, but I explained if she wants to her invitation is still valid and she is still welcome."

"Sam did text me after the phone call asking if we can meet for coffee, so I'm seeing her tomorrow."

"Honestly, I think she was just misguided. She's not a bad person at heart."

Which was followed by:

"This will probably be the last update I do unless something else happens, but safe to say after today, Sam is out of our lives!"

"Essentially, I did go see Sam and she was not alone. In fact she brought her cousin who is… pause for effect… a therapist!"

"About five minutes into Sam's opening monologue, I left. She explained that after hubby and I told her we wanted low contact, she realised that clearly the stress of expecting a baby had caused me to act irrationally."

"She wanted me to have someone to speak to. She even tried to dress it up by saying that yay i didn't have to pay for this. Yippee!"

"Anyway, I left."

"Hubby sent her a message saying we need distance and not to contact us for a while. This does not mean we are going low contact."

"We are going no contact—as I stated she is out of our lives. Sam's a bit irrational right now and we just want to minimise fallout hence telling her 'for a while'."

"Not to psychoanalyze, but honestly, I think Sam needs help. Clearly she cares, but it's too much."

"And honestly, it's insulting how little she thinks I can look after myself and my baby. Her overbearing personality has its limits and honestly,  I can't take it."

"Anyways, thank you for all your support."

Unfortunately, a once good friendship ended, but some people won't be in our lives forever.

OP and her husband's life will be changing drastically when they become parents.

Maybe Sam was meant only to be part of their pre-parenthood life.

Giving advice on how a parent should act is rarely easy.

That's why so many people choose not to speak up.

But sometimes, other parents feel compelled to do so

When these instances occur, usually, there is a lot of discomfort.

So what does one do?

Redditor Mundane-Jaguar1039 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

"AITA for telling my parent friend that she needs to cook and that is why her daughter isn't eating?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"My daughter has had a best friend since kindergarten, they are in 7th grade."

"This year Sara has gotten quite thin and her mom has come to me saying she isn't eating."

"My daughter backed this up and said that she picks her food at school."

"I thought it was an eating disorder at the time and told my friend to take her to the doctor."

"My friend needed to leave for a work trip this week and asked me to watch over her."

"No big deal, she will stay over for the week."

"First night I made meatloaf and she ate it."

"She didn't get sick."

"The rest of the week, anything I made, she would eat no issue."

"She even came back for seconds with most meals."

"At the end of the week, she asked me why my food didn't make her sick."

"Apparently she only eats TV dinners at home which make her feel like crap."

"The school food also sometimes makes her sick, so she is cautious about it."

"My guess is there is an allergen in preservative foods."

"She needs to get that checked out"

"I dropped her off and pulled my friend to the side and told her everything."

"I told her that she really needed to cook and take her to get her allergy checked out."

"She was not happy I said this and basically called me a jerk for overstepping."

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA? Should I apologize?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA. She isn't eating because the TV dinners are making her sick."

"The solution is for her not to eat those TV dinners."

"That means mom has to cook."

"Mom got defensive because she knows she is being a generally crappy parent in this aspect."

"She can- batch cook, crock pot cook, meal kit cook, or find 'fresh' premade meals."

"She can not just let her kid starve or be ill all the time."

"Can you send food with your daughter during the week so the kid has a dinner that night?" ~ No-Locksmith-8590

"It's insanely easy to avoid proper cooking nowadays."

"I hate cooking, I just buy lots of frozen food that I can stick in the oven or air fryer."

"It takes like 30 seconds of effort to heat some salmon, microwave some rice or quinoa, and do some frozen veg, it doesn't have to be unhealthy."

"It's not like the only options are 'TV dinners' or 'a meal that took 4 hours to prepare,' there's so much room in between for reasonable compromise." ~ binglybleep

"Honestly if the girl is in 7th grade, maybe OP can teach her and her daughter how to cook a couple of basic meals."

"In 7th grade, you're what, 12-13?"

"Kids are taking home ec classes at that age so I see no issue if the mom is going to belligerently refuse to cook for her child."

"All of this is assuming OP isn't calling C[hild] P[rotective] S[ervices] to report this friend." ~ spookyxskepticism

"That's a great idea."

"My 12-year-old can make basic meals for himself, and my 10-year-old already bakes with me."

"Since the friend's mom doesn't cook, the girl probably has no clue about a kitchen."

"She can learn a few easy things using fresh ingredients, even if it's just tossing a salad with boiled eggs and cutting up some fruit." ~ FearlessProblem6881

"The adult child of a crap parent here."

"Your friend is neglecting her child, which is an insidious form of abuse."

"She knows her TV dinners sicken and starve her child… and controls the food supply so there's nothing else for the hungry child."

"I suffered this too."

"That's abuse."

"She knows what she's doing."

"Thank you for addressing it."

"Now, tell the school, please."

"When enough adults address the abuse, she will care about her own image enough to feed her child."

"She heeds the social pressure."

"Of course, she will find other ways to abuse that poor kid, but at least let's give the child a chance to see that her suffering is neither invisible nor unsolvable." ~ wehave3bjz

"I had to report a mom to CPS for this issue."

"She wouldn't feed the child things they can eat without getting sick and wouldn't allow the child to eat elsewhere."

"Fortunately for said child, I'm a mandated reporter and so I filled out a report."

"Now the child has things they can eat in their home."

"Starving your child by feeding them things that make them sick is not ok."

"CPS responded within a week." ~ Hydrangeas0813

"These girls have been best friends and this seems like it's a new issue."

"Perhaps the mom's work schedule has been changed, or something else is going on, but to me, it doesn't seem like neglect or abuse."

"Yes, the mom needs to get her tested or take her to the doctor so they can figure out what's going on and change things to help her gain weight."

"They should also look into learning how to cook some healthier options or teaching the daughter."

"It could be a food allergy."

"Could be a health issue not yet diagnosed."

"Could be just the food mom is providing."

"This also could be a poverty thing, maybe times are tough, and they can't afford 'healthy food.'"

"Something could also be going on with mom; maybe she's got some depression going on, and she just can't get it together enough to cook."

"It could also be an eating disorder, and she didn't feel comfortable there so she didn't get 'sick.'"

"Way too many possibilities to jump right to abusive or neglectful parent."

"That said, the mom should be concerned and figure out what is going on and do her best to fix the problem." ~ ssf669

"This is very possible, and something OP 100% should consider and watch for."

"But it is worth remembering that the kid's mom has brought up her concern that her kid isn't eating to OP."

"It's very possible that the mom is defaulting to TV dinners because they're easy, and isn't aware of the fact they are the cause of the daughter feeling ill."

"The daughter may never have even mentioned feeling ill to her mom and only said things like 'I'm not hungry' or 'I don't feel like eating.'"

"If the mom eats the same meals and feels fine, it's easy to see how she could miss the connection."

"Even her reaction could easily be a defensive reaction to being told that she's feeding her daughter poorly."

"My experience is that 9 times out of 10, people react very defensively to any information that challenges a core belief, and if she sincerely believes she's feeding her daughter properly then it's no surprise that she lashes out and gets defensive.

"If she already feels overwhelmed with life, the thought of having to cook or prepare food would have added fuel to that fire as well."

"The key is what happens next."

"Do the TV dinners vanish?"

"Does she start bringing food to school?"

"If those don't start happening, THEN it is 100% time to report her."

"But I don't think there is enough information in OP's post to immediately assume abuse is happening."

"It seems just as likely that an overworked, single parent didn't realize her time-saving meals were hurting her daughter and got embarrassed that someone else diagnosed her shortcomings."  ~ The_T0me

"I agree. NTA she went to OP for advice."

"Having the child for a week in her care showed her what the problem most likely was and so she shared that with the parent."

"She got all defensive because she realized it was her fault for feeding her kid TV dinners every night and not cooking meals."

"But no one was really blaming her, just stating facts as she sees them to help the child."

"I get it she works and she's tired."

"But she just found out that TV dinners are not the way."

"It doesn't have to be hard though."

"I work and I still cook."

"It's a balance."

"And hello fresh helps me a lot too lol."

"A co-worker of mine pre-cooks on Sundays for the whole week."

"I guess mostly casseroles."

"She said her husband gets home before her so he knows at a certain time to take one out of the freezer and pop it in the oven for whatever temp she writes on it.

"By the time she gets home, it's done." ~ Frequent_Couple5498

"NTA. Your friend left her daughter in your care and you were sharing that she does in fact, eat."

"It's going to require more than TV dinners."

"People are going to argue in this post how you said it is what makes you the AH but the facts remain the same."

"The girl could have digestive issues with processed foods and her health is a priority."

"Not your friend's feelings." ~ Misplac3dMuggl3

"She left her daughter with her friend for A WEEK and SHE thinks OP is overstepping!!"

"I agree with you, the facts remain the same and she should be grateful someone is trying to help."

"It's her daughter's nutrition at stake at a time when her body may need it most. NTA." ~ TangFish96

"NTA. The kid's health comes first, feelings later."

"Fact check: she ate and felt well at your place but didn't elsewhere."

"You flagged a potential issue, no harm in that." ~ juraegorov2t9tc

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

She originally asked for your help in figuring it all out.

You gave her your best advice.

It doesn't sound like you were accusatory.

She may have some guilt over this and is lashing out at you.

Hopefully, she'll come around.

There are people with food allergies, food sensitivities and medical disorders or diseases that affect their bodies ability to digest certain foods.

For example, people of the global majority are often lactose intolerant because for millennia cow's milk wasn't part of our diets. Some human populations have consumed some form of animal milk for about 10,000 years and as a baby food for about 8,000 years.

But for Indigenous Americans like me, dairy products were first introduced to our diets between 500 to 100 years ago.

Our biology still hasn't fully adapted to digest cow's milk without some often odorous side effects.

GIPHY

But I don't have an allergy to dairy products—lactose intolerance is a food sensitivity.

My gastrointestinal tract might protest my love affair with Ben & Jerry, but my immune system doesn't try to assassinate me for it.

A cow's milk allergy can cause anaphylaxis—an immune reaction that can be as mild as an itchy rash or hives or as serious as swelling and narrowing of the airways leading to asphyxiation and death.

Milk is the third most common food allergy to cause anaphylaxis. Tree nuts are second and the legume peanuts are first making them the deadliest.

Food allergies and sensitivities have near immediate effects on the body, but little to no longterm impact if treated immediately.

However diseases or disorders like phenylketonuria, celiac and lupus may not always show an immediate reaction to certain foods, but repeated consumption can cause life altering complications and even death.

Understanding whether a person has a sensitivity, an allergy or a disease or disorder is important when choosing menu items.

A grandmother who is still trying to understand her daughter-in-law's recent celiac diagnosis and how to eat gluten-free turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

HarlotteHoehansson asked:

"AITA for not buying special groceries?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"My son (30) and his wife decided to live the 'van life'. In my opinion they are homeless, but it is by choice."

"Their long term plan is (was?) to move into a campground and live out of the van and a tent. They are already on food stamps and she gets disability from the Army."

"This idea lasted about 2 weeks, then my husband got a call around 10:30pm Saturday from my son."

"They were in California, and he said the baby—3 years-old—was 'in the hospital' and they had no food and no money."

"They live off of her military disability. My son's entire adult life has been one stupid decision after another."

"I have 2 other children that turned out to be responsible adults. Our son and his wife still talk to our family."

"But she cut her parents and family out of her life because her parents fed the kids McDonald's."

"I wish I was kidding."

"We sent them $500 to get home. By midnight they were on the road here. They got here Sunday morning about 8am."

"Later we found out the baby developed a fever of 103°, so they took her to the 'hospital' which turned out to be a walk-in clinic that mainly treats addicts. The clinic basically gave her Tylenol then sent her home."

"They drove all night to get here. They showed up with no food, no money and the van was on 'E'."

"The mom walked once around my house—including the kitchen—without raising any issues. My son and his wife went to bed the morning they arrived and left the girls without any instructions or requests."

"They didn't even give the 3-year-old Tylenol or check her temperature before they went to bed."

"So we fed our granddaughters—3 years-old and 6 years-old—breakfast. We made them what they asked for—like we always have—and they didn't get sick."

"The girls begged for scrambled eggs and toast. We figured the 6-year-old knows if she can eat toast or not, but maybe they miss toast and fibbed to us or they thought it was gluten-free toast."

"Anyway, they never got sick. But my son got irate—when he got out of bed—because toast is gluten."

"This is all new to us."

"Their mom assumes the kids are 'allergic'—her word—because she was diagnosed with celiac a few months ago. But neither girl has been tested or diagnosed."

"Mother was told to cut gluten from her diet because she has issues with it. She assumes that because celiac is genetic the girls definitely both have the same issues."

"I'm just relaying what she told me about her diagnosis. They have all eaten gluten their whole lives until now."

"We hadn't seen them since the diagnosis. We were just told they were going gluten-free and to try not to feed them gluten. No list, no examples of what they could or couldn't eat."

"When DIL was diagnosed, I did a lot of reading about what celiac is. But the research doesn't tell you what to buy."

"I've seen things marked gluten-free in the store and some of it is bread. My bread packaging warns it 'contains soy and may contain traces of milk, eggs and sesame'. It doesn't say it contains gluten."

"We didn't go shopping between when they called at 10:30 pm Saturday night and when they arrived at 8 am Sunday morning. All-night convenience stores don't specialize in gluten-free groceries."

"But our son expected us to go to the store while they slept and buy gluten-free food for them all. I said we just sent them $500 and couldn't afford to go buy a bunch of food that we don't know anything about."

"They should provide that when they visit someone's home on such short notice. Had we not just given them $500, we would have bought the proper food when one of them could go to the store with us."

"A huge fight ensued."

"They left yesterday and, according to text messages, won't ever be back."

"AITA for not providing that food?"

The OP summed up their situation.

"I might be the a**hole because they are my grandchildren, and I should provide what they need to eat while their parents are crashing here."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Some Redditors couldn't decide if the OP was an a**hole, opting for a request for more information (INFO). 

"INFO: is there a diagnosed medical reason the children are gluten-free?" ~ TheDrunkScientist

"INFO: Did they decide to 'live the van life' or are they just broke and homeless? Cause this makes it sound like they are homeless." ~ Icy_Sky_7521

"INFO: do any of the other family members mentioned have a diagnosed gluten intolerance, sensitivity, allergy or celiac?" ~ Upper_Release_7850

"INFO: Has anyone called CPS to report the parents for willfully putting their children in harm's way by choosing to be homeless and live in a van? The baby was hospitalized with a high fever after living out of a van, but it wasn't a real hospital?"

"Gluten is the least of the issues here. Call the police." ~ tippychino

But some had no problem passing judgment. 

"I don't need extra info. If you are traveling with kids with dietary needs, you are responsible for keeping those foods on hand. Period."

"You should never expect anyone else to accommodate your or your children's restricted diet. That's on the children's parents. The parents need to be proactive about the diet, not anyone else." ~ Mysterious_Glass622

"Does your son often do stupid sh*t like this? Where did the $500 go if they drove home and brought no food? Do these people have jobs?" ~ stinkyundercarriage

"The parents have voluntarily made their children homeless. Do we really think they're making any good choices for their children? NTA." ~ CatlinM

"NTA. I can't have gluten, pork nor dairy, but I wouldn't expect my in-laws to get me my special food for lots of reasons."

"But I can think of 5 reasons related directly to your situation:"

"1 - they were in your house—a house of people that are OK to eat gluten and therefore have gluten food—with very short notice"

"2 - you just gave them a lot of money"

"3 - they are adults and should be able to provide their own food, but they were already failing at providing basics for themselves and their kids"

"4 - they're a bunch of people avoiding gluten, which is already expensive for one person to do, but doing it as a whole family would skyrocket the cost of groceries"

"5 - they are visiting family, not an all-inclusive resort!"

"They can cook their own food and should be grateful you tried to feed the kids so they could rest even when you aren't as informed on gluten specifics."

"What you did wasn't done with malice, and if the kids asked for toast and they were OK after eating it, then it isn't as severe for the kids."

"With all that in consideration, they should not be acting as angry and entitled to the point of saying they aren't coming back and that you should have bought them gluten-free food."

"But I honestly believe that won't be true. They're gonna be back the next time they want your money, your housing, and your food for free." ~ Bubbly-Guitar-8053

"NTA. Why is everyone coming at the grandma with the celiac disease bullsh*t? She did more than most."

"Sent her son $500 to drive back home because he chose a dumb** lifestyle he can't afford with a family, and then she fed her grandbabies that don't have an actual gluten-related diagnosis."

"Even if the babies did, that's on the parents to make sure what they need is available, not on the grandparent who naturally will feed their grandchildren anything the kids want." ~ Imaginary-Local-948

"NTA. Whether the gluten issue is real or not is irrelevant. Your son & daughter-in-law should have been more understanding of the mistake rather than cause a ruckus."

"And expecting that you will be the one to provide the special food without any prior agreement or list of foods is entitled. They should be thanking you for helping them." ~ possiblycrazy79

"NTA because math and medicine."

"8 hours of driving, even at a steady speed of 75 miles per hour, is about 600 miles. Even if their 'life van' gets only 15 miles per gallon, that's 40 gallons of gas. Even if they only bought Premium gas which is averaging $5.48 per gallon in California, that's $220.00 for gas."

"They had at least $280 to get gluten-free food in California, en route or when they arrived. Or they could have returned what's left of the $500 with a list of gluten-free food they wanted and ASKED if you could go to the store."

"They're the ones who are choosing a complete gluten-free diet for their whole family because of mom's celiac diagnosis, so they're supposed to be the experts on what that means."

"You're correct that some products without gluten say 'gluten-free,' but unlike soy, dairy, eggs, or nut warnings, not everything that contains gluten says it contains gluten on the label."

"If they wanted or needed specific things, they could have asked for it like adults. Instead, they announced their choice to abstain from gluten-containing foods and expected you to figure it out without input or guidance from them."

"I notice they had no trouble asking for money, so why was writing a freaking shopping list and asking you to go shopping so hard? They could have written the list during the 8 hour drive or the time they were inspecting your home.

"They won't be gone long. They just want you to apologize for their irresponsible parenting and beg them to come back to mooch off you some more. They'll scurry back as soon as they want money." ~ LakotaGrl

Hopefully the OP gets a chance to enjoy their vacation from their son's life choices.

It probably won't last long.

As parents watch their children grow up, they often find themselves startled to discover that their children's personal beliefs might begin to veer considerably away from their own.

Most parents accept this, however grudgingly, as they want their children to be their own person and discover who they really are.

Other parents have a bit less patience for this, mandating that as long as they are living under the same roof, they live by their rules.

The son of Redditor Rude_Water_6037 was beginning to become interested in trying some food that was against their family's religious beliefs.

Something the original poster (OP) flatly forbade.

However, when the OP's brother learned this, he decided to let his sibling and nephew see for themselves whether or not they liked this forbidden delicacy, serving it to them without telling the OP what it was.

When the OP found out they were tricked into eating this food, they were anything but understanding and lost their temper.

Wondering if they overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for yelling at my brother and sister-in-law & calling them 'bastards' for giving us cow meat for dinner?"

The OP explained why a recent dinner with their brother turned into a fairly intense family row:

"My son is nine-years-old, and we're Indians who are living in the USA."

"There are various items which are prohibited in the 'religion'."

"It includes cow meat."

"Recently, he talked to me about some of his friends were talking about how they have eaten beef, and that he wants one as well."

"I refused, and in the end he agreed with it."

"We recently stayed at my brother's house."

"My son informed him one day, that he wants to have cow meat, but that I would not allow that."

"My brother agreed to help him have it, and also told him 'As they did not give it to you, we'll also make a plan to make them have it as well'."

"Yesterday they said that they were making meat for dinner, and I said sure."

"When it was served, I noticed that it tasted somewhat differently, so I asked him about it."

"He laughed and said 'that's beef. I want you to taste it as you're so against it'."

"'F*ck your controlling attitude'."

"I was shocked, and a really huge argument that ensued."

"My son was continuing to have it, but I asked him to stop, and in the end my brother was yelling at me himself and that he wanted to teach me a lesson."

"I called then 'back-stabbing bastards', and in the end I left the house."

"I also gave my son a well-deserved dressing down and he's now grounded for a month."

"My brother and his wife are saying that I overreacted, though, and that they only did it as I was 'controlling' towards my son."

"There are also moral reasons why I am against it."

"I don't really mind if my son's not religious, but the cow is a sentient creature."

"I'd be just as upset if he said that he wants to eat dog meat, or cheat on his partner, etc."

"Perhaps there shouldn't be a rule against these things legally, but you can still ask people to not do that."

"My wife was also present and got tricked into having the meat."

"AITA?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Neither the OP nor their brother came off looking particularly good to the Reddit community, who generally agreed "everyone sucks here".

While just about everyone agreed that it was wrong for the OP's brother to trick them into eating beef, they also felt that the OP shouldn't enforce their  own religious beliefs on their son, and should let him eat whatever he likes.

"ESH."

"But the brother and in-laws are the worse."

"I agree that your son should be allowed to choose for himself."

"You don't have to like it."

"You don't even have to offer it in your house."

"You can even say something like 'I don't approve'."

"'I hope you won't and if you eat beef I don't want to know because eating beef to us means XYZ'."

"Beyond that kids WILL make their own choices like this one did no mater what you try."

"Your brother should not tell you how to parent unless there is clear cut abuse."

"If your children are fed and fed well, it is enough."

"Your brother should not violate YOUR beliefs."

"They went WAY over the line and I would be equally angry."

"Good luck."- containmentleak

"ESH."

"They absolutely should not have tricked you into eating beef."

"That's incredibly offensive."

"Your son is 9 years old."

"He's old enough to decide for himself if he wants to eat beef."- DogsReadingBooks

"Easy ESH."

"Your brother is, of course, the bigger AH."

"You are both trying to impose your beliefs on to others - it doesn't matter much that you are doing that to a minor under your care (I could say that in some ways it might be *worse*)."

"But he is also using deceit."

"Interesting that you put 'religion' in quotes but then you would not allow a 9 year old to try beef."

"My mother is/was religious, so she would follow the fasting rules in her house, and I did not go against those."

"I mean, it was clear, if I wanted to have food at home, I'd eat what my parents were eating."

"However, if we were somewhere where there was e.g. meat available on Good Friday, she would not force me to fast."

"She would tell me what I am supposed to eat if I follow the fasting and she always followed it, but from the point I could make my own mind, she would not force anyone else."

"I am 44 now and when I visit her while she is fasting, she offers to cook non-fasting food for me (she never offered when I was a kid), but I always decline."

"Lentil soup is fine with me!"- ThrowRAMomVsGF

"Just curious- your brother eats beef and you don't, how did that come about?"

"I have to say ESH."

"Your brother was in the wrong here; it's completely unacceptable to trick someone into eating something like that."

"But your kid is 9, trusted your brother (an adult) and I think grounding him for a month is not proportionate."- happybanana134

"ESH, your brother for tricking you into eating beef, and you for shoving your religious beliefs down your 9 year old son's throat when he clearly doesn't feel the same way."

"Let the boy make his own dietary decisions."

"He's old enough now."- Tired-mama-of-one

"ESH."

"If your child wants beef, you shouldn't force your own ideological beliefs onto him."

"Unground him and stop being overly controlling."

"That being said, your brother's actions were disgraceful and I wouldn't allow him anywhere near your family until he realizes how vile his actions were and apologizes profusely."-DriverAlternative958

"I'm Indian so I know how beef isn't eaten on religious grounds."

"However your son is old enough to decide what he wants to eat."

"You are controlling him, and honestly shouldn't."

"However the way your brother went about it is horrible so in my opinion ESH."- Aeia21

There were a select few, however, who felt the OP's anger was more than justified, even if they still felt the OP should allow his son to eat beef if he's curious.

"NTA."

"Assuming the punishment is because your son tricked you, and not just for eating beef himself."

"Your son wanted beef, that's normal adolescent boundary pushing."

"But he and your brother hatched a plan to disrespect your own choices and have you eat beef."

"It's never ok to trick someone into consuming a food they prefer not to eat due to cultural/religious reasons."

"You don't serve beef to a Hindu and tell them it's goat."

"You don't slip some flavored rum into a Mormon's caffeine free diet coke."

"You don't give a burger with chopped bacon snuck inside to a Muslim and you don't give eggs with lobster to a Jew."- BaltimoreBadger23

"NTA."

"Deliberately tricking someone into violating a taboo is wrong."- Agnostic_optomist

"NTA."

"I'm Indian and I get what they mean."

"Cows are sacred for Hindus (assuming the OP is Hindu)."

"It's said that God resides in them."

"Not sure about OP but where I'm from, we even have a festival dedicated to cows."

"So I understand how this was a big deal."

"It wasn't an overreaction at all."

"Also, I feel like OP should've explained to her son the reason why they don't eat beef so he could understand."- jnkent

Everyone's religious beliefs are theirs and theirs alone.

With that in mind, the OP's brother should not have served them beef, as they likely knew all too well how angry it was going to make them.

That being said, if the OP's son is beginning to explore other religions, the OP should be more open to it, and allow him to discover for himself what works and doesn't for him.

Hopefully, the whole family will come to realize this and can settle this over a much more rational conversation.