Generally speaking, everyone should perform the job they are paid to do, even if they don't exactly like the way things are being run or who's in charge.

Tempting as it might be to quit, if we had signed a contract of employment, doing so would likely get us into more trouble than it would be worth.

When people demand we work jobs we're fired from or quit, that's an entirely different story.

Redditor BlacksmithThink5923's family business was hired for an event.

Unfortunately, an altercation involving the police ended up causing problems at this event.

Leading one of the original poster (OP)'s supervisors to accuse them of "ruining" this event and firing them.

Much to the OP's surprise, however, this same supervisor called expecting them to show up at this event regardless, which the OP refused to do.

Having some doubts about their decision, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITH).

Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.

The OP asked fellow Redditors:

"AITAH for ruining a wedding?"

The OP explained why they refused to show up for a wedding they were hired to cater:

"My wife and I own a catering company."

"Our oldest son is fifteen and helps a lot with events."

"He's autistic, but he's very capable when he's accommodated."

"We were contracted to cater a rehearsal dinner and a wedding."

"The rehearsal dinner was obviously much smaller than the wedding."

"With me, my wife and our oldest, we could pull the whole thing off without using any employees and save a chunk of change."

"The wedding planner also hired a bartender to make drinks, as we don't offer that service."

"Our son was setting up the tables and chairs while my wife and I were unloading the food."

"The bartender asked my son to help him unload some boxes of wine, and my son said no."

"The bartender offered to tip him, and my son said that he can't touch alcohol."

"The bartender told him he was being difficult, and my son started ignoring him, because that's how he responds to stress."

"The bartender tried to talk to him, and when my son continued to ignore him, he grabbed my son by the shoulder and shook him."

"My son ran to me and told me what happened."

"I called the police."

"The bartender started arguing with me."

"I kept telling him to wait for the police to arrive."

"My son went to my wife."

"When the bartender found out my son was fifteen he got nervous and left before the police arrived."

"After the deputy showed up and while I was talking to him the wedding planner showed up to ask what was going on."

"I asked her to wait while I finished talking to the deputy."

"My wife and son had gone back to setting up after the bartender left."

"The wedding planner demanded I talk to her and tell her why the police were present."

"The deputy told her she had to wait."

"She stood by and listened to our conversation."

"I told the deputy what happened."

"He said since he didn't witness anything he couldn't do anything, but to call him if the bartender returned."

"When the deputy left the wedding planner called the bartender to ask him to come back."

"He said he wouldn't come back because he was worried I'd call the cops again."

"Ultimately the rehearsal dinner had great food but no alcohol."

"The wedding planner asked us to serve at least the wine and beer the bartender had brought but we refused because A) we don't offer that service B) we aren't licensed to do that and C) that stuff didn't belong to us."

"After the dinner the wedding planner went off on us."

"She said we ruined the event and that we were fired."

"I clarified with her that she didn't want us to show up to the wedding venue and cater the wedding (which was the next day)."

"She said she didn't."

"I said okay."

"We left."

"My son actually filmed our conversation, and I watched it when we got home, and she was very clear."

"At four AM she called us to talk about the wedding."

"I reminded her she fired us."

"She said we were already paid, so we had to show up anyway."

"I said she fired us."

"She said if we didn't show up she would sue."

"I told her to sue."

"I also told her I had her on video firing us."

"We did not cater the wedding."

"I heard from the DJ that they ended up ordering pizza."

"The bride was apparently screamed at the wedding planner for half an hour about it."

"I actually feel a little bad, because the bride didn't do anything."

"Maybe I was being petty and should have showed up anyway."

"We did not return any money (as per our contract) and we ate or donated the food that had already been prepared."

"I know legally I did nothing wrong, but I feel like a bit of a d*ck."

"AITAH?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

While some applauded the OP for standing up for their son and felt they were justified in not going to the wedding, others felt the OP unnecessarily escalated the situation by calling the police, and may have been in breach of contract:

"Ok so I'll be slightly different here."

"I'm saying this as an attorney who has a practice that includes small business consulting."

"First, please try to avoid using your son as an employee where others might need to be the one providing the accommodations."

"I respect you trying to save money as well as employ him, but you said he needs accommodations."

"That could cause issues."

"It did with communication here."

"The bartender was wrong."

"Full stop on this issue."

"But do not open yourself to problems in the future."

"Second, go back and check who signed your contract - the wedding planner or the wedding party."

"If the wedding planner hired you, then you are in the clear. If the bride and groom signed, you are in a world of legal hurt."

"You needed to be terminated by them - not the planner."

"By now not showing, you breached the contract."

"If the bride and groom signed the contract, not only are you legally wrong, but then YTA."-PokerLawyer75

"ESH."

"Your son was right not to touch the alcohol, but you are absolutely the AH for going straight to the police."

"You should have gone to the wedding planner first, and demanded that the dude be replaced ASAP or you'd call the police for assault."

"You knew damn well the police would do jack, and you escalated anyway without going to the logical person who was coordinating everything, and you screwed the wedding planner AND THE COUPLE over."

"It's on the wedding planner, too, for her poor management of this conflict."

"It was really dumb and unprofessional of her to basically fire you without the intention of following through."

"You are also petty AF for bailing on the wedding day."

"You screwed over the couple because of your beef with the planner, and if your contract was with them you might even be liable for it."

"All of you, caterers, bartenders, and wedding planners, are extremely unprofessional, and you ruined a couple's wedding because of it."

That day is not something they can replicate, and it probably cost them thousands.

"Shame on you, I wouldn't be surprised if all of you either got sued or at least got your collective butts dragged all over the internet."- ExcellentCold7354

"I guess I don't understand why it had to escalate so quickly."

"It chips away at your professionalism, and it completely affected the hopefully concerning lifetime event."

"Perhaps on paper you technically didn't do anything wrong, but you missed out on exercising your humanity a bit."

"Stand up for your son?"

"Check Take it a step too far?"

"Check Ruin a wedding?"

"Check. Take the high road?"

"Nope Remain professional?"

"Nope Exercise grace?"

"Nope."

"If you feel like a d*** take the opportunity to do better in the future."

"Poke around the internet and read up on ways to diffuse situations, people, interactions."

"What would you have wanted if your wedding had been interrupted by the same exact situation?"

"How would that feel, being the groom and not the caterer in that situation?"

"Would you be an understanding groom?"

"Would you want your caterer to do better or differently?"

"It also could be a time to fine-tune how your son is a part of your catering business."

"Lots of people have to be told what to do in situations they have no experience with."

"In the future, maybe pulling aside other professionals at an event like a bartender and letting them know my son is my employee, and if you need anything from him, to go through you or your wife, vs just talking to your son."

"There is nothing wrong and everything right with standing up for your son, but why did the reaction have to be so extreme?"

"It could have been a learning moment for that bartender, instead the bartender's gig was lost due to his fear of being arrested (again, why so extreme?) the whole thing is sour grapes."

"It really is."- Old-Study-9362

It was certainly wrong of the bartender to physically handle the OP's son.

However, while any parent's first concern is the safety and well-being of their child, was this a situation where the police were necessary, rather than just reporting him to the wedding planner?

And even if the wedding planner verbally fired them, since they had already been paid, shouldn't they have still provided the service they paid for?

Possibly questions for the law to ultimately decide.

Boundaries with exes are vital to a stable post-relationship situation.

Some exes can't avoid one another, so rules are imperative.

Not every ex is keen on boundaries and rules.

These actions can stir up major issues.

Redditor HereLiesSarah wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

They asked:

"AITA for forbidding my ex from coming to my house without notice/uninvited?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"Edit to add info: this has happened 3 times this week alone."

"Thursday, I wrote 'please let me know before you come over because I was in a meeting and was startled to hear people in the house."

"Response was 'My bad.'"

"Saturday, I wrote, 'Please do NOT come to my house without notice. I had a guest over, and they had to leave in a hurry.'"

"Again, 'my bad.'"

"Then today I wrote that I rescind all permission to enter my property without prior communication and consent."

"The reply was 'I'll try to remember.'"

"I responded that 'trying' wasn't good enough and that I will take legal action if he doesn't stop."

"I have been divorced for 5years now."

"We share children."

"Ex (Max) now lives 5minutes away, after following me to the city 3 years ago (I had to move for one of our children's medical needs)."

"I own my house independently, and it was purchased after the divorce, so Max has no claims to my property."

"3 times in the last week, Max has arrived at my house with no notice."

"The first time was random, they collected the kids from school (not planned, they usually walk) and arrived to say hi or something."

"Then I had a 'friend' sleep over because the children were at Max's house and had to race around because Max's new partner, Sam (they met 4 weeks ago, Sam moved in on the first date, met the kids the following day), arrived with the children to collect a toy."

"I choose not to have new partners around the children for at least a year, and the friend who slept over is not a serious relationship, so they won't be meeting the children."

"This is not a jealousy issue; Max's last partner was lovely, and we were very friendly."

"I have also had a serious partner since the divorce, but that relationship ended 2 years ago."

"And today, when I was at work, Max came over to visit the teenagers without checking first."

"It feels very violating to have people in my home with no notice, especially when I know it's messy!"

"I have documented all this and have security camera footage."

"I have sent a message rescinding any permission to be on my property."

"My next step is legal action, but we have coparented well until now, with the kids going between houses when they want (but always checking first with both adults)."

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA for expecting notice before the ex comes to my house and not allowing them to come and go freely?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.

"Try mediation first."

"Tell your ex that, unless given prior permission from you, they are not allowed to enter your home."

"Tell the children this, too: they can go out with their parents, as per normal."

"The parent is not allowed to enter your home; it's your home, and the other parent is not a part of your home."

"Just as friends don't turn up randomly without an invitation, the other parent is not allowed to either."

"I'd tell the other parent this is an attempt to draw up boundaries in an amicable manner."

"But you will escalate if needed." ~ Frankifile

"I know you think you are putting your kids first, but you are actually teaching them that it's ok to ignore reasonable boundaries."

"If their father is doing this to you, he will almost certainly push boundaries with his children, now and into the future."

"He is also teaching them that every whim should be followed, even if it's inconvenient for others, which is not something that will serve them well moving forward."

"Even the story about 'coming to get a toy', he should be teaching them that they can live without a toy for 2 days, and to do a better job at packing."

"Nothing about this is ultimately healthy for your children."

"You are prioritizing making him a 'good guy' over everything else." ~ SkibumG

"I could have written this, except replace teens with children, and it hasn't been going well at all for me."

"I honestly have had to be really blunt and minimise contact a lot, because he was overstepping a lot at the start of the year, felt like I had to break up with him over and over again."

"Only just recently has he started again, so I am back at square one."

"Thinking of getting a dog."

"Commenting to wait for advice on this too." ~ Automatic-Mess-2203

"NTA. It's very intrusive to have someone coming over unannounced, almost like they're checking up on you."

"It's unreasonable for him to turn up without asking you."

"You need to be vocal in front of the children, too."

"'No, Max, you can't come in. I have asked you to check in with me before you arrive. I appreciate you bringing the kids home, but you can't come in without arranging it first.'"

"And tell the teenagers you have asked him to let you know before he comes over and that they can (but not that they have to, to prevent parental alienation) tell him that he can't come in because he didn't check with you first." ~ International-Fee255

"NTA. This is your home, not a shared space, and showing up repeatedly without notice is a clear boundary violation." ~ ContributionWise7607

"NTA. H is though."

"I'd get in touch with a lawyer and draw up a formal letter detailing visiting protocol if you don't already have one from the divorce, and have the return communications through the lawyer."

"Next step would be a flat-out restraining order (or order of protection or whatever they are called in your area) to prohibit them from coming on the property." ~ Kayback2

"If the kids are old enough, maybe they should just meet him in front of the house or somewhere else."

"He does not need to be in the house."

"I suspect he's being nosy."

"I would also maybe find another place to meet up if the kids are not old enough." ~ Consistent-Ad3191

"NTA. It's completely rude to show up unannounced, and he lost any right to that level of familiarity the minute you divorced."

"I think you're doing the right things so far, so just keep documenting and communicating in writing."

"I don't know what the best course of action legally is, but sounds like you've already got a lawyer. Best of luck with this."

"As a side note, I'd keep an ear out about a new partner who moves in after the first date."

"That's a stranger being given very close access to your children." ~ DarthRedYoga

"NTA- change your locks."

"Why does he have a key?"

"If you have 100% custody, then stick to that until he realizes that he needs to respect you and your space." ~ ThatAd2403

"How long ago did you send a message indicating your ex does not have permission to come to your house without giving you notice?"

"Did the three surprise visits you've described occur after that message was sent?"

"This sounds like something to have an in-person conversation about, to set boundaries regarding unexpected/unannounced visits, and also to work out some protocols in relation to picking up the kids from school unexpectedly."

"Your ex needs to let you know when they're doing that, just as you should let them know if you're doing anything unexpected in relation to the kids."

"You both should have a clear sense of where your kids are at a particular time."

"It may seem fine to your ex to visit their teenage child on a whim, but different rules apply when they're an ex."

"That shouldn't be hard for your ex to understand."

"It should also be clearly understood that neither of you ever brings the children home unexpectedly unless you check first, because obviously, what you're doing at home can very much differ if you know your kids are not expected home.

"Would Max and Sam like their kids to unexpectedly walk in the door while they're having some uninhibited 'kids are not home' sex?"

"Again, this should all be obvious."

"But apparently it isn't, so have the conversation that's clearly needed.

"NTA, but maybe hold off on any kind of legal action until you've had proper conversations about this."

"If you've coparented amicably until now, this is likely all very solvable." ~ huminous

"My dad used to do this to my mom as a method of control."

"He used me as an excuse, but he didn't actually try to see me."

"Finally, one Christmas when he was getting mean about it, I told him to shove his presents up his butt."

"He couldn't use me as an excuse after that. NTA." ~ 99-cabbages

"NTA, but you may find it tricky if your kids are inviting him - maybe have a conversation with them as well, about not inviting /allowing anyone (including their dad) into the house without your prior agreement (you can give blanket permission for any individual friends who visit regularly)."

"In the first instance, speak to your ex and just explain that it isn't directed just at him, you aren't comfortable with anyone coming into your home without your prior knowledge and consent." ~ ProfessorYaffle1

"NTA, there needs to be clear instructions to the children and to him in writing preferred, noting that he is not permitted to come into your home and that he's only allowed to come to your home to exchange the children with foreign knowledge." ~ Icy-Doctor23

Reddit is with you, OP.

Your ex is completely out of line.

This is your home, your rules.

He has no right to barge in.

Stay firm and stand your ground.

Sometimes the actions of loved ones can leave a person speechless.

Speechless is not always a positive reaction.

Some behaviors surprise people beyond words.

Once the initial shock wears off, people have to deal with the fallout.

Some actions can destroy relationships.

Redditor Rebecca0626 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

They asked:

"WIBTA if I called the police on my mom for robbing me?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"Today, my Mom came to watch my kids while I had my chemotherapy appointment at the hospital."

"She quickly left after I got back."

"I would have liked her to stay for a while because I'm not at my best, but at least my kids had supervision when I needed it."

"The problem is that when I got home, my daughter was hungry."

"I'm not sure if she wasn't fed lunch or just hungry like usual."

"She kept looking in the fridge over and over."

"I went to help her get a snack because I had stocked the fridge yesterday with a lot of groceries, including easy-to-eat prepared foods."

"Every single thing is gone."

"Mom must have bagged up all of my groceries and taken them home."

"I don't even have milk or apple juice for my kids."

"I've called her several times, and she isn't picking up."

"I called my brother, who doesn't live with her, and he said he will speak to her and get back to me."

"He's pissed."

"Should I call the police?"

"I'm really thinking about it because it's several hundred dollars of groceries I needed for the week, and being so close to Christmas, it's hard financially to replace."

The OP was left to wonder:

"So... WIBTA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared that OP would NOT be the A**hole.

"She stole your food while you were at chemotherapy?

"Food you'll have a hard time replacing?"

"No, YWNTBA, but your mother sure is one."

"She literally took the food out of her grandchildren's mouths." ~ Casual_Lore

"Theft of items with a value over $50.00."

"Punishable crime in every jurisdiction in the country."

"If you live in the US, call the police, report the theft, and tell them you believe it was your mother."

"They WILL deal with her."

"And of course, NEVER leave your mother alone in your house again." ~ parodytx

"YWNTBA. And your mom most definitely is as bad as the Grinch."

"If times were hard for her, she could have asked for help."

"There was zero justification for taking every piece of food meant to nourish her child and grandchildren."

"I really feel for you."

"Wishing you the best during this difficult time." ~ jbooklover

"NTA and WTF!"

"I imagine there's some sort of history with this woman stealing."

"That's a really desperate thief."

"Good luck to you 🌹." ~ imaginenohell

"Call the cops and get the food back."

"She won't be arrested, but you need the food more than you need a mooching mom."

"Look into if social services can provide funds or babysitting for the kids."

"So sorry OP."

"That is a lot to deal with." ~ Once_Upon_Time

"Please update us."

"I want to hear your mom´s excuse for stealing all the groceries from her own sick child and grandchildren."

"You would be NTA for calling the police." ~ SirChaos77

"Just call the police and lodge a theft report."

"Your mom needs consequences." ~ Mauinfinity-0805

"The people justifying your mother's actions are really showing their colors here."

"YWNBTA for reporting, and I think you should."

"Your comments indicate your mother is not supporting you anyway, and that this babysitting incident was a weird occurrence for her to even be around."

"You have enough struggles without having to replace groceries to feed your kids."

"I doubt police will even do anything, but at least it can be documented." ~ KuZagan

"YWNBTA. Your mother is."

"YOU ARE IN CHEMO, AND SHE LITERALLY TOOK FOOD OUT OF HER GRANDCHILDREN'S MOUTHS!"

"I doubt the police would do anything, but I know I sure would be." ~ lacimcgowan

"I sent my own dad to prison for stealing my car."

"I don't regret it."

"Your mom not talking to you tells you everything you need to know."

"She didn't just steal from you."

"She stole from BABIES."

"Call the police." ~ Ok_Damage_2620

"I just read your Thanksgiving post, too."

"Do NOT spend Christmas with her."

"DO file a police report."

"And do NOT leave her alone with your kids again unless you have no other choice."

"She is not a safe woman to be around for your family." ~ ce5b

"Exactly!! Your mom is a danger to your kids."

"You should do everything in your power to cut that person out of your life now."

"God forbid she gets your children and their inheritance and puts your kids in a home and keeps the money." ~ TheTaxGirl79

"NTA. I did not expect this to be about food."

"Money, jewelry, but food?"

"Yeah, call the police."

"Good luck and best wishes in your treatments." ~ BreakingUp47

"Tell your mother if she doesn't return everything or pay to replace it immediately, you'll file a police report and go to the local news station."

"They love those kinds of stories, especially around the holidays. NTA." ~ Gigafive

"NTA at all."

"She literally stole from you and took food out of your kids' mouths." ~ Disastrous-Nail-640

"NTA. Your own mum has stolen from you and her grandchildren, and it's things you need, like food."

"You're going through so much already, and then this."

"I'd try to get a hold of your mum or get your brother too as well." ~ butterflya82

"Your mom is the only AH in this event."

"She's a complete nut job."

"I'm in Canada also, unsure about where you are in Canada, but a lot of cities have groups that 'adopt a family' at Christmas specifically."

"But can also help in serious situations like you're going through."

"Call the police and file a no-contact order against your mother." ~ OldGermanGrandma

"I- I am f**king speechless."

"This is abhorrent on multiple levels, and YWNBTA to present this frankly psychopathic behavior with serious consequences."

"I am so sorry that circumstance means you needed to rely on her in the first place, as this is surely not the first time she has done you dirty." ~ mighty_kaytor

"Yes, I would call the police."

"The only thing I can think of that might be an obstacle is proving it is your food vs her food."

"She could easily lie and say it was hers unless there is some way to prove without a doubt she took it." ~ labtech89

"Depends on how close you are to your mom and if this is out of character for her or not."

"Generally speaking, NTA, if you called the cops."

"But if you're close and this is completely out of left field, which it would be for me and my mom, I'd probably try to figure out why she did that, try and get back at least most of the groceries back, and go from there about why the hell my mom would even do that and possibly get her some kind of help."

"If you have an already shaky relationship, and this kind of behavior is on par with the way she typically treats you, then oh yeah, call the cops." ~ Icarusqt

"I've seen this kind of behavior before."

"My guess is that she wants sole custody of your children."

"She likely called Child Services (or whatever it's called where you are) to instigate a report of neglect."

"Taking all of the food is a way to 'show' the authorities that the children are not being fed and cared for."

"Be very careful, report what you can, but keep in mind you WILL also need to press charges against her for false reporting, AND a restraining order against her."

"Good luck." ~ MercyfulJudas

"Your mom is the AH."

"Who TF steals food from their daughter with cancer and her grandchildren?"

"YWNBTA."

"She stole hundreds of dollars' worth of groceries."

"How is your relationship with your brother?"

"Is there more he would be willing to do to help with this situation?"

"If you are close to him, I would probably discuss what your options are."

"Even though he probably won't like the idea of getting the police involved, he might be able to use that as a way to light a fire under your mom to return the groceries." ~ ImaginaryStandard293

OP returned with an Update...

"Well, I found out why she took the groceries."

"As my ex, John, who is the father of the kids, was leaving children's aid came with the police because there was a report of neglect."

"My mother called them and said that my children had no food, were living in filth, and my son was not receiving his medicine and medical care."

"John was speaking with them in the laneway for about 30 mins."

"They just came inside, did a quick inspection of the home, and checked the welfare of the kids."

"I showed proof of the grocery purchase yesterday and today, and John said he provided dinner after Mom took the groceries."

"They said she will have repercussions for filing a false report."

"The officer said she wants custody."

Reddit has your back, OP.

This is beyond disgusting!

Who steals this kid's food?!

Get well and good luck.

Knowing when a friendship is over—or maybe never existed—is an important skill to develop.

Clinging to something that's over is natural and letting go can be very hard.

A woman struggling with a broken friendship turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Zealousideal_Ear7529 asked:

"AITA For filing a police report on a good friend who was caught on video stealing my boyfriend's camera at a dinner?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"She has refused to help me either replace it in full or contribute to the cost of replacing it."

"We were out to dinner one night at an expensive hotel. My boyfriend let me borrow his Canon G7X (1800) camera to bring to take pictures with my friends."

"At the conclusion of the dinner, I went up to the room and realized the camera was gone. I went back right down to the table and no one had seen it."

"I immediately got with hotel security and she is on video, clear as day, swiping the camera when my back was turned and shoving it in her purse. I covered for her initially with my friend, and contacted her to find a resolution."

"She had taken the camera with her and my other friends to a club after dinner, which I did not attend, and lost it there. For background, this is my good college friend who I know well (the camera thief)."

"She has been taken on free trips to Coachella and St Barths on my dime (not kidding), as well as many other things. We have done a lot together and are good friends, so I expected her to feel sorry."

"Initially she lied, saying she did not have it. When I told her we had video, she confessed and then said yes she took it, but lost it at the next bar she went to with my other friends."

"It is now gone. I asked her to help me replace it by going in on me with the cost. She has refused all measures or resolutions, and now I feel I have nothing left to do but file a police report and let them handle it."

"It is impacting my relationship, and I am furious my friend is not helping at all. Why should I be on the hook for something she stole?"

"I have given her three weeks to help me resolve this, but she insists she is going to do nothing. I am being pressed by my boyfriend to either replace the camera or help him file a report with her info and the footage."

"I even asked her to just throw in half or less than half the cost to help, but she still refuses. I do not want her to get in trouble, but I am at the point where I feel she really does not care."

The OP summed up their situation.

"I want to know if i am the a**hole for filing a police report and taking serious action against a good friend. I do not feel like a good friend for doing so, even though her actions hurt me, I feel like an a**hole."

"I want to know if I am an a**hole for not just covering the cost myself or feeling like she needs accountability."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was the a**hole (YTA), but not for the reasons she thought.

"YTA - not even sure why you are asking. I have rarely seen a post with more a**holish behavior on here."

"You are an a**hole to your boyfriend. Kind guy trusted you with something valuable and you are not even giving him all the information you have after it got swiped."

"You brought your a**hole friend to this dinner. You are an a**hole for not filing a report."

"You are an a**hole to yourself for not holding this f*cking 'friend' accountable... what the hell do you mean 'throwing in half'?"

"Get your head out off your a** and go file a report. Make sure your boyfriend is made whole, be utterly embarrassed with your own behavior here, and do better next time." ~ Steve12345678911

"YTA, for caring about your thief of a friend over your boyfriend's property. Your number one priority should have been to get his property back. Not sure if this post is real, and also not convinced your 'friend' didn't sell the camera on or keep it." ~ simply_clare

"Girl, WTF‽‽ Please stop being a pushover. You should have reported her that night. Grow a spine and report her and give the police the tape."

"She is not your friend. Seems like she has not been your friend in a long time and you are too foolish to see it. She obviously uses you for free trips and things."

"This probably isn't even the first time she stole from you. The fact that you even hesitated to report her for stealing your boyfriend's camera is very strange."

"I would have broken up with you if I were him for not having his back and for trying to protect someone who obviously doesn't even like or respect you. Really, YTA for even waiting this long to do anything about it." ~ AnneShurely

"Stop bailing this person out by offering to cover half the cost. Such entitlement that she would take it in the first place."

"File a police report and drop the parasite from your friend group. A friend, especially a good friend, should never treat you that way." ~ EquivalentChip7463

"YTA. Is there a reason you are choosing your thieving friend over your boyfriend? She's made it clear she's not your friend, and that she's not going to make this right."

"The police report should have been filed the moment she said she wasn't going to pay for it."

"If I were your boyfriend I would be reconsidering the relationship with you over this. You're really dragging your feet to make this right. Get the report made and replace his camera." ~ Pleasant-Tax8290

"You sincerely BELIEVE you're being the nice person, to her, in general. You are mistaken. YTA."

"She clearly feels entitled to steal from her friends, even the friends who have been super generous with her. How do you think she feels with people who are less close friends, or coworkers?"

"You've enabled her to steal from others - I guarantee you that she has, AND that is partly on you if you do NOT file this police report.

"When some other less fortunate person is unable to pay their rent, and she's merely skated through PROVEN incidents of theft, you could be part of the cause of making that random stranger homeless."

"You have clearly not thought this through. File the police report. Sue her for the full amount."

"Do not spend another penny on her...EVER. People who imagine themselves to be people pleasers...doing more harm than good...SMH." ~ QueenLevine

"She is not a friend, she's an opportunist with parasitical behavior. She will continue to do this to you and in all of her relationships until people hold her accountable. That's the type of path that creates the type of person who steals cash from her own children."

"She should take full responsibility financially and morally and everyone in a friend group you share that will ultimately hear about the situation when she blames you for attacking her should be able to see the footage if they wish so they can protect their own peace and possessions so I hope you have a copy on hand."

"I'm all about forgiveness and mercy if the other person has compassion, takes accountability and wants to try to change but she can't do the bare minimum."

"Also, I don't buy that she conveniently lost it at the club as if it magically slipped from her bag. It's just as- if not more likely- she still had it when you confronted her, lied again, and maybe sold it off or is hiding it." ~ FutureFablesGaming

The OP provided a series of updates:

"UPDATE: I sent her a text this AM telling her if I do not receive full cost of the camera or shipping confirmation of a new camera from an approved vendor to a provided address by end of day Friday, we will be filing a report with the police Saturday AM. I felt like an a**hole typing this out to her, but I have to do it."

"UPDATE #2: She told me she is sick of me and that I will be receiving a tracking number by 12 eastern on friday and not to blame her if the package is never received. I told her if she was my real friend, she would be sorry and in no way will I allow this to be flipped on me. Should I ask if the camera is new, or the one that 'dissapeared'?"

"Update #3: She sent me a tracking number via FedEx. It says it is awaiting package. I have asked her repeatedly if she is sending me the original camera, assuming it 'magically' turned up, or a new one. She refuses to answer and only tells me to stop bothering her."

"Update #4: I am more and more convinced my friend (camera thief) took the camera hoping that I would just replace it for my boyfriend, gifting her a free camera. For background, this friend is heavily involved on instagram and loves taking pictures."

"The Canon G7 is COVETED by women because it is known as THE Instagram camera. Even if you wanted to buy one at full price, they are out of stock everywhere. Lets hope it gets returned with this tracking. FedEx still says awaiting package even though shipping info was sent to them at 7 PM yesterday."

"Update #5: Original camera returned via FedEx the other day. Has been given back to the boyfriend. However, the camera thief blocked me on all socials after this. Appeared she was trying to keep the camera for herself, and expected me to just buy a new one for the boyfriend."

OP got her boyfriend's camera back hopefully learned a lesson about the difference between friends and parasites.

Having roommates has often led to lifelong friendships and romantic love stories.

It can be nice to have someone down the hall to chat with on the regular.

But sometimes the roommate situation can turn into an episode of Dateline NBC.

Not every person in a shared space is mentally stable or trustworthy.

Has everyone seen "Single White Female?"

Redditor Yapper_202 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

She asked:

"AITA for calling the police on my roommate after they broke into my room?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"So, I (22 Female) live with two roommates (one 22 F, the other 23 F), and we've had some tension lately."

"I've always been a private person, so I make it a point to keep my room door closed when I'm not there."

"The trouble started a few weeks ago when one of my roommates, let's call her Rachel, started borrowing my things without asking."

"I don't mind sharing occasionally, but Rachel would take stuff without telling me, and when I confronted her about it, she'd either deny it or get defensive."

"After a couple of weeks of this, I decided to check with our landlord to make sure it was okay to put a lock on my bedroom door."

"He said it was fine as long as it wasn't an issue with the door frame, so I went ahead and installed it."

"I felt like it was the only way to keep my things safe, especially after I noticed some of my personal items were moved or misplaced."

"Fast forward to a few days ago, I came home from work and noticed that the door to my room was wide open."

"Immediately, I got this sinking feeling."

"My laptop, which I had left on my desk, was missing, as well as my Nintendo Switch."

"I called Rachel and my other roommate, and asked if they had been in my room."

"Rachel acted surprised but also defensive, and then just seemed concerned, asking if everything was okay."

"I was furious."

"I knew that the only way my door would be open was if someone had broken in, and at this point, I was pretty sure I knew who it was."

"I went into my room and searched for my laptop and switch, but they were gone."

"After some back-and-forth with Rachel, I realized that she had taken them without permission."

"When I confronted her, she admitted to borrowing them for 'a few days' but didn't think it was a big deal."

"At that point, I was beyond frustrated."

"I told Rachel that I didn't appreciate her violating my privacy, and I was done trying to sort things out on my own."

"I called the police to report that my property had been stolen and that I felt unsafe in my own home."

"The police showed up, and after hearing my side of things and talking to Rachel, they advised her to return the laptop and switch and apologized for the inconvenience."

"The laptop was returned, but the switch wasn't, and she claimed that she 'didn't know I owned a switch.'"

"She seemed to think I was overreacting, and some of my friends have also been saying that I might have taken things too far by involving the cops."

"Now, I'm feeling conflicted."

"I honestly didn't expect things to escalate this much, but I felt like I had no choice."

"I'm just so tired of being taken advantage of in my own home."

"But at the same time, I feel bad because now things are super awkward with Rachel, and the police involvement might have been too dramatic."

The OP was left to wonder:

"So, AITA for calling the police on my roommate after she went into my room without permission and took my devices?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA, she straight-up burgled you."

"If that Switch doesn't turn up immediately, you need to get yourself down to the station and make sure they do file a report."

"This ain't just some petty flatmate drama. She broke in and nicked your stuff."

"If she's getting away with this, what's stopping her from doing it again?"

"Nah, she's taking the piss."

"Get your Switch back and seriously reconsider living with her." ~ ruyrybeyro

"Also, people like Rachel often retaliate."

"If Rachel is evicted, there's a very strong chance that she'll not only fight the eviction until or even past the deadline, but also destroy OP's property and room and possibly the shared areas."

"And will most likely leave her own room with significant damage and and trash so that OP and the other roommate will lose their security deposit."

'If at all possible, OP needs to get a camera in her room - preferably one that stores footage in the cloud in case Rachel steals that, too, as well as on an S[ecure] D[igital] card."

"OP can turn off the camera whenever she's in her room - unless she feels so unsafe that she needs it on at night while sleeping."

"OP should also try to leave without Rachel knowing ahead of time - get the new place, then have some friends come over to help move everything out in 1 evening so Rachel doesn't have time to retaliate or sabotage the move." ~ Random_Stranger12345

"NTA. You were robbed."

"You need to leave your apartment."

"Most leases will let you break the lease for this, especially if you have a police report."

"Report to the landlord the copy of the police report."

"Ask what your options are, you are legally protected to break the lease."

"Pack your bags and get ready to leave as soon as possible."

"Your situation will get worse." ~ Dense_Island_5120

"I think Rachel should have to move immediately."

"Landlord knows there are issues latest since OP asked to install a lock."

"Now the police are involved."

"She should be kicked out because nobody should have to live with a thief."

"OP, you did NOT overreact."

"Find new friends. NTA." ~ MapHazard5738

"This the second OP put on a door lock, Rachel stopped pretending and straight up broke in."

"OP, you should get a hidden camera set up immediately and recommend the other roommate does as well so you can see what Rachel is really getting up to and maybe see if actions are violations of the lease and can have her removed."

"OP, you should check and see if maybe she sold your switch and prosecute." ~ Vegetable-Cod-2340

"Personally, I don't think you took it far enough."

"Your other roommate may have your switch."

"Ask her if she has it, but if she denies, she does go file a police report for the theft."

Then, call pawn shops in the area to see if anyone has sold your switch.

"You also need a better lock on your door. NTA."

"ETA: Rachel may have broken your switch by accident, too, which is why she didn't give it back." ~ HarveySnake

"Yes this exactly."

"OP did not go far enough."

"We have someone who OP is trying to give the benefit of the doubt to who was 'borrowing things' without permission."

"That in itself is a huge violation issue."

"Now this person actively broke into the locked room, lied about it, and took two expensive items."

"If the roommate didn't take it, then who else did?"

"And who had they invited to the home."

"Either way, the RM is culpable as the room was broken into and the items are missing, with 50% of the items being in the possession of said room."

"This is not an ooopsie."

"This is a f**ked up and harmful person." ~ starfire92

"NTA. I hope there was an actual police report made."

"You have a Nintendo account, right?"

"Pictures or videos of you with it?"

"I'm guessing she hid it or sold it."

"I agree with above commenter, get your lease and go to the leasing office WITH a police report."

"One of you needs to leave."

"Your friends who say you overreacted SUCK and obviously aren't going to pay for your missing things or for you to move somewhere you feel safe, are they?"

"I don't know why they'd be ok with her stealing from you but you should ask them and more importantly yourself that question. "

"Reconsider who you call friends in 2025, EVERYONE!"

"Good luck OP."

"Please stay safe."

"Make a REAL REPORT!" ~ Usual_Equivalent_888

"NTA. You did the right thing."

"She broke into a clearly locked room."

"Schlage sells a type of key-in-knob lock where the latch is a deadbolt, so it will be harder for her to open."

"Tell the landlord and file a police report for the Switch."

"It's fine that Rachel is only a suspect right now."

"I hope that you have the serial number for the Switch."

"Pawnshops are surprisingly highly regulated when it comes to what goods that they accept."

"For instance, they are required to check serial numbers for items before buying or lending against items to be sure that they aren't stolen, and if you have the serial number, the police can check pawn shops for the Switch."

"They can also go into each pawn shop with a picture of her, but that is slower." ~ No_Philosopher_1870

"NTA, things are super awkward with Rachel BECAUSE SHE IS TAKING AND USING THINGS THAT AREN'T HERS AND DOESN'T HAVE UNDERSTANDING OF PRIVATE PROPERTY!"

"Your room is not shared space or communal property."

"If your Switch isn't returned, keep the report as stolen and check if the serial number can be traced in a different way."

"I would also consider looking for alternative accommodation since you are valid in not feeling safe in your own home." ~ atealein

"This is not over. You need to loop the landlord in ASAP and get eviction processes going, as well as file a police report for the forced entry and stolen Switch."

"Consider your relationship with her over (and consider that your other roommate may have the Switch and be just as bad)."

"You can't be forced to live with criminals; you are the victim of a serious crime.'

"Get it on the record."

"Forcing the lock into your room is beyond the pale and needs to have serious consequences."

"Don't let it end here." ~ aluriaphin

"NTA, Rachel is a thief."

"She did not have your permission to break into your room and take your items."

"It is time to find new roommates or move out."

"Also, tell her to return the Switch or pay for it." ~ Scary-Scholar5800

"NTA. But I do think you need to move ASAP."

"As you'd already reported to the landlord an issue with stuff going missing and put a lock on the door, and you've got a police report number, I think you have good enough reason to break the lease if your name is on it." ~ dragonetta123

"NTA. Are you sure your friends are… your friends?"

"This girl is literally stealing from you and going unpunished and they're fine with that?"

"I honestly feel like they're underreacting and not having your back on this one."

"And you should look for a new place because your roommate is not going to stop using the five finger discount on you." ~ boringbutkewt

"NTA. At all."

"And make sure landlord knows everything that is going on."

"Catalog everything of value in your room and by video as well."

"Get a cheap security camera and mount it in your room facing the door."

"Tell her if she goes near your room again you will press charges."

"Get out of that house if you can or get her kicked out." ~ Sharontoo

"NTA - and you aren't safe in that place."

"Your landlord needs to know that one of your roommates vandalized the house and broke into your locked room."

"Notify them in writing (or via email); you need to start a paper trail, and they can bring pressure on the other two that you cannot."

"Another part of that paper trail is going back to the police and filing a formal theft report for the Switch."

"Start looking for another place to live." ~ wesmorgan1

"NTA. Press charges, and sue her for the switch."

"You have proof that she broke in and stole the laptop - the judge will believe you when you say she also stole the switch."

"And: send the police report to the landlord and ask him to evict her." ~ k23_k23

"NTA! NTA! NTA! NTA!"

"Listen, she's a known pilferer of your items."

"I'm surprised the other roommate isn't on your side because if she's taking your stuff she's surely gonna take hers."

"Rachel needed the cops called on her, because that is just disrespectful and disgusting and honestly would earn her some two pieces with no biscuit." ~ GoStyx

"NTA, and I do not know your financial situation, but once the police are called it's time for other living arrangements." ~ AKACharlieRock

"NTA. When people steal things from you, you call the cops."

"Of course, she's upset you called the cops on her, she is a thief." ~ LavishnessGeneral

This is a terrible situation that your roommate has created.

She is a straight-up thief, and she needs some mental health help.

You have nothing to feel bad about.

Reddit has given you a lot of good options on how to deal with Rachel.

Please stay safe and update if you can.

Good luck.

For many being a grandparent is a life goal and a gift.

Watching your kids become parents can bring great joy to many families.

But it's not always roses and sunshine.

Some new parents can lean on grandparents a little too much.

This can cause quite a rift within the family unit.

Redditor FantasticSize9388 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

"AITA for telling my D[aughter]-I[n]-L[aw] for f**ks sake I have a life and I am not going to be a cookie-cutter grandma and I will call the police?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"My son and DIL have been married for around 7 years at this point."

"They have two kids."

"All of my children are out of the home and living their lives."

"My husband and I are still working and will probably retire in 10-15 years. Around 70."

"My DIL and I got along much better before the kids came into the picture."

"They live 30 minutes away and she is always trying to drop them off."

"I thought my son was in on this but no."

"I sat them down and he had no idea this was happening."

"I showed the many texts asking for me to babysit and he was under the impression that I have only babysat twice this month not 16 times."

"Apparently, she has been dropping them off with me to hang out with people and my son was under the impression she was taking them with her."

"I started to communicate in a group chat with them so everyone was on the same page."

"I only respond to her in the group chat and if she starts to spam me with texts about it I throw a screenshot in the group chat and have my son deal with it."

"We have talked and it comes down to her wanting her kids to have the same relationship she had with her grandparents."

"In short, I explained that I am still working and I will not have that relationship."

"That I can't have the kids every other day just like she had growing up."

"We agreed to every two weeks to have a grandma day."

"All good for about a year, my son is now traveling for work and she is at it again."

"The time difference makes it hard to have him shut it down when it happens."

"I was home for about an hour when she showed up at my home."

"She wanted me to babysit when she went shopping."

"I had enough at this point."

"I told her for f**ks sake I have my own life, that I will not be the cookie cutter grandma she wants and if she tries to leave the kids with me from now on without my agreement, I will call the police for abandonment."

"She called me a jerk and stormed off."

"My son called trying to smooth it over and saying I may have gone too far."

The OP was left to wonder:

"So AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"I swear this is such a boomer mentality."

"Like my parents got SO MUCH support with us kids."

"Weeks at my grandparents."

"Babysat regularly by other family voluntarily."

"Then I have kids and any time I've asked for help it's a big complaint."

"I'm talking like 2 times a year."

"To be clear, I'm not bashing OP."

"2 grandma days A MONTH?!?"

"I would kill for my kid's grandparents to want to hang with them that often, or even a few times a year."

"OP's DIL is trying to mirror her parent's parenting experience and that's just not the way that works."

"Where are her parents?"

"She should be holding them to that standard she came to expect, not another parent who probably did not get all those grandparent breaks."

"Ridiculous. OP NTA." ~ Skywalker87

"Why is this such a boomer mentality?"

"Things change from generation to generation."

"My parents are boomers."

"If they needed help, they would have gotten plenty of it."

"Moms of boomers seldom worked outside the home, so they were available."

"They also didn't have the kinds of social programs that the boomers have today."

"In most boomer households, both parents worked."

"If I ever asked my parents for help, when they weren't working, they were usually there."

"If they had plans, then I had to suck it up or find someone else."

"If it was an emergency, they'd cancel their plans."

"I didn't dare show up unannounced and dump my kids off for them to babysit without checking first."

"Especially so I could go shopping or yoga or some other nonsense."

"They'd kick my a**!"

"My mom is almost 80, and I still wouldn't mess with her."

"My parents worked full-time, made time for their grandkids, and went out and did their thing."

"My kids have a great relationship with them."

"OP isn't saying she won't watch her grandkids."

"She's saying DIL doesn't get to suck up all of her free time because she doesn't want to raise her kids."

"OP is saying that she's worked hard, is still working, and deserves a life, too." ~ Effective_Wolf48

"I'm concerned she kept the many times she dropped them off with you a secret from her husband."

"It would get me wondering if there was a bad reason for that."

"He seems like he goes above and beyond with his kids."

"I don't think this is just about her wanting them to have the same relationship with you as she had with her grandparents."

"It could be something as simple as she is overwhelmed with motherhood and responsibility… or who knows… but whatever it is, she is being excessive with her demands on you."

"You've tried everything you can… what else could you have said to her to get her to stop trampling your boundaries? NTA." ~ musixlife

"As a nanny and someone who spent many weekends with their grandparents growing up, I agree that it doesn't sound like she is concerned with the kids having a good relationship with their grandparents."

"It honestly just seems like she wants free childcare."

"Considering how involved OP says their father is, I don't know if DIL is overwhelmed or just entitled." ~ Denverdogmama

"If it were about the children having a good relationship with the grandparents why is it so often and without the proper scheduling?"

"Why does it seem like she never chose to stay with her children to make those 'good memories' with the grandparents?"

"Why is she always out?"

"Why not use a sitter if M[other]-I[n]-L[aw] has clearly stated what's okay and what isn't?"

"If it's about the relationship, why create resentment?"

"There's clearly much more going on with the DIL than her wanting her children to have a good relationship with their grandparents."

"Hate to say it, but 16 babysitting requests in a month to a virtual newborn is A LOT (OP said they were 4 mos and almost 2 when this happened)."

"Where is DIL going and who is she with y'all?"

"My spidey senses are tingling."

"Presumably, her friends know she's a mom to a new baby and surely would have either accepted that the children were coming or would have gone to her house."

"And why the secrecy from the husband to the point where he thought she was taking them with her and not dropping them with his mom?"

"And after OP, DIL, and son set up a group chat, DIL still tries to text MIL on the down low?"

"And now that hubby's traveling for work, she pulls the same thing after they've all agreed to one day with grandma every two weeks?"

"OP, something isn't right here at all."

"Your son needs to definitely find out what is happening." ~ moew4974

"I think he needs to step it up with his wife and deal with her bulls**t when it comes to her dropping the kids on you 24/7."

"If I found out she did that to you again after we've already addressed it and she kept pushing and doing the same s**t, I'd have a big problem with my partner, not my mom in this situation."

"You didn't take them there, she did. NTA." ~ Punkinpry427

"NTA. That's nice she had that kind of relationship with her grandparents, but absolutely nothing entitles her to force it on you."

"Good job on the boundaries."

"Your son needs to step up here too though, and get more involved with his own kids."

"The group text idea was brilliant and is a great way to keep him in the loop." ~ achippedmugofchai

OP came back to reveal more info...

"For everyone going on about how he couldn't know, doesn't he talk to his kids?"

"The kids were 4 months and 1 3/4 years old when she kept dropping them off."

"They weren't really talking, the oldest sure could move but was not a big talker."

"It really hit off when she was pregnant and got even worse when the second one was born."

"Don't make assumptions, he is very involved with the kids."

"When he comes back from the trip he will always take the kids out to let her have a chance to herself."

"He has been to every milestone they have had."

"He just gave her a weekend trip with her friends for Mother's Day and stayed behind with the kids."

"He goes to doctor's appointments, they switch off childcare mornings and nights."

"He takes them with him all the time."

"He spends alone time with the kids."

"The kids are in daycare so really they have nights together."

"He is a good father."

"Not his fault he needed to travel for work so they have money."

"That is just what happens when you are the main breadwinner, work says go do that you do it."

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

You already raised your kids.

This is your time.

You have every right to stand up for yourself.

Time for some hard truth chats with your son and DIL.

Good luck.

Babysitting can be a frustrating profession.

Not only does one have to wrangle the youth, they have to deal with parents.

And parents can be the real issue.

Usually, all people talk about are the babysitters breaking the rules.

But who holds parents accountable?

Case in point...

Redditor yftdddtf wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

"AITAH for calling the police on parents?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"I (23 F[emale]) was asked to sit for a date night while the parents went to a wedding yesterday."

"I was supposed to have a baby boy, 13 weeks old, and his sister, 2 years old, from 5 to 11 p.m."

"This is not my first time watching either child."

"Our evening went as smoothly as it could with a toddler and baby."

"I got them to bed by 7:30 and started putting the house back together."

"At 10:15 pm I got a text from the parents asking if I could stay until 12 am and I told them that's fine and to have fun."

"12:15 rolls around, and I haven't heard from the parents."

"I sent a text asking if they're close and didn't get a response."

"I can be pretty anxious, so my mind started thinking they got into an accident or something bad happened."

"I didn't hear from them after 5 minutes and then decided to call, but got no answer."

"1 am rolls around, and the baby has already woken up to feed again, and I'm just overly anxious at this point."

"It's 1 am, and I have no one to call to calm me down."

"I would never assume that a late parent is just a late parent at 1 am."

"So I am just on our city's Twitter page, where they'll let you know road conditions and accidents, seeing if something happened within the last hour and a half but nothing."

"2 am rolls around, and I kid you not; I have called around 15 times and received no answer from either parent."

"I wanted to call the police at that point but also didn't want the kids woken up and taken out of the house at 2 am."

"I was hoping that the parents would walk in, and although I'd be angry, at least they're fine, but again, that didn't happen."

"At 5 am I decided to call the police and report the parents missing."

"And I told them I couldn't keep the kids after having them all night."

"The police showed up at 5:22 am and took a statement from me."

"I was asked for the parent's numbers, and the police asked if I could stay with the kids until they could figure out what exactly they're going to do."

"At this point, the neighbors were outside, and the woman directly next door told me she could stay with them, but I didn't know their relationship to her, so I told her I'd wait with the kids for a bit."

"At f**king 5:48 am, they roll up and are greeted by the police."

"The mom ran into the house, thinking something had happened to the kids, and sighed when she saw they were there."

"'Our phones died, and we didn't know how to get home from the venue,' is what she said to me, and I was fuming!"

"I called them irresponsible and the shi**iest parents I've ever worked for."

"I demanded she pay me on the spot, and I left."

"I got a super long message about how this is my job, and I'm a huge a**hole for disrespecting them and calling the police."

"She felt like I could've left them with the neighbors or called the emergency contacts, not the police."

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITAH?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA. You actually did the right and safest thing."

"Also, it's 2024. Who in this day and age doesn't have either a portable charger or a car phone charger?"

"They are parents."

"They should have been prepared for their phone dying."

"Also, they got lost for THAT long?"

"Nah, something fishy there in my opinion.

"Wipe your hands off them."

"You didn't do anything wrong."  ~ MyPath2Follow

"NTA. You are totally right."

'I have a cable in my car. They could have stopped anywhere and asked for a favor to be able to recharge their phone or just get directions."

"There is no excuse, especially with children so young."

"I hope the police had a serious talk with them."

'You must have spent a terrible night."

"You did the right thing for the children's safety." ~ TwinZylander214

"I hope the cops checked to see if they drove home drunk, too."

"NTA at all."

"Those parents are terrible and are deflecting blame for their stupidity and lies." ~ Tall_Confection_960

"Both of their phones died… together?"

"I had no clue phones had love stories! How… romantic?"

"It's bulls**t. You did everything right and waited a lot longer than I would have!"

"I'd have called at 1 am with radio silence from the parents."

"NTA, and I'd never sit for these folks again."

'If there is a sitting app you use… I'd mention it there so that they can't pull this BS with some other sitter."

"They don't deserve this treatment any more than you did." ~ Shalarean

"100% agree. What were they doing all night that they 'couldn't figure out' how to get home?"

"They were driving around for 5 hours?"

"There was no 24-hour McDonald's or CVS or hotel that they could find in five hours to charge their phone at, buy a car charger, or use the phone to make a call and buy a map or get directions?" ~ lawfox32

"To be fair, I grew up in a place where there wouldn't have been a place open that late to buy anything or ask for help."

'The only 24-hour gas stations were by the highway, and we weren't very rural."

"It was suburbs."

'But I think their story is bullsh*t and they just wanted to stay out."

"Every wedding I have been to over the years has always had an after-party for the couple and their friends etc."

"I would assume they were at that."

"They either partied the whole time ignoring their phone or drank too much, so they couldn't drive home right away."

"I'm assuming based on the babysitting originally only being from 5-11 that they weren't too far from the wedding venue."

"Which makes their claim that they got lost even less plausible." ~ OHarePhoto

"If THEY didn't have one, they absolutely could have borrowed one from basically anyone."

"Or purchased one at the closest gas station."

"They explain why you didn't hear from them for, like, an extra half an hour... but not almost six hours."

"I'd have been worried, too."

"There's a reason we give time updates, and sure, give an extra hour for buffer."

'But emergency contacts would have also called the police."

"That's what I would have done while I came to relieve you so you could go home. NTA." ~ BlazingSunflowerland

"You did the right thing and NTA."

"You did what you had to do." ~ Kangaroo-Pack-3727

"NTA. Not only that, but they're telling you that BOTH their phones just happened to die?!?"

"You did the right thing!"

"They should've paid you double."

"I hope you were compensated for all of those extra hours!"

"Almost 6 am is INSANE!!"

"I have anxiety too and I can only imagine how hard waiting was for you!" ~ angelwarrior_

"Did both their phones go straight to voicemail?"

"If not, their phones didn't die."

"And how the hell did they get lost for almost 6 hours... a lot of bs there. NTA." ~ dafunkisthat

"NTA. Who in 2024 would let their phone die, especially as a parent of two very small children when they know they need their phone to get directions to home."

"Even if they had noticed that their phones were dead, assuming they weren't in the middle of nowhere... there would have been a phone somewhere (borrow a friend/acquaintance's phone, use the location's phone, find a hotel) that they could have used to give you a call (or call someone to call you) to let you know the situation."

'Hiring a babysitter for a set number of hours doesn't mean it's your job to stay all night until whenever they decide to come home."

"Assuming they did get their phones charged in order to get home, how on earth did they not see all of your calls and messages and call or text you immediately to let you know what's going on?"

"This is all insane and completely irresponsible of the parents, and you did nothing wrong." ~ fallingintopolkadots

"NTA. The mom is lying and toxic."

"She's lying because she could have purchased a phone charger at any gas station."

"THEY PASSED OUT AT THE WEDDING AND DON'T WANT TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!!"

"What do you want to bet if you pulled the body cam, you would find some more lies such as, 'We told her it was overnight.'"

"NTA but whoa they sure are." ~ emorymom

"NTA. You went above and beyond for them."

"If there's a page or website where babysitters can post, share this experience, so no other babysitters have to deal with that family." ~ The_Bad_Agent

OP came back with a few notes...

"Emergency contacts are mom's parents, who are a 6-hour plane ride away, their pediatrician's office, and 911."

"I felt like 911 would be best in this case."

"The wedding was a friend of the dad's, so I just don't see how they'd not be able to contact anyone from there."

Well, OP, you had every right to call the police as you were concerned for their welfare.

Maybe you should warn other local sitters about these people.

You're better off with a new job.

Good luck.

When the person you're supposed to trust the most betrays you, it's hard to get over.

Particularly if that person is supposed to protect you at all costs.

Case in point...

Redditor Cautious-Hat-9697 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

"AITA For Calling The Cops On My Mother?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"Didn't think I'd need to come back here so soon 🥲."

"So I (22 F[emale]) received a visit from my mom for New Year's."

"She came with one of my cousins, and we hung out for a couple of days, and it was great."

"The only time things were bad was when she asked if I could loan her about $500, and she promised to CashApp me the money back when she got paid next time."

"I told her no."

"She tried to argue with me, but I shut her down, and she let it go."

"A week later I noticed my credit card was missing."

"I don't use it very often, usually just for a couple of automatic bills."

"I had logged onto my account online to pay my balance since my check came through that morning, and I saw that my balance was much higher than I had expected."

"There were three charges I expected, my electric bill and my phone bill and some gas, and then several charges that I knew weren't from me."

"They were for fast food, clothing places, etc."

"I thought it might be a glitch, so I called my C[redit] C[ard] company and checked my wallet for my card."

"I realized it was missing, and a nice customer service rep helped me with that whole process, but then I started walking through everyone my wallet had been around and every place it had been left since my last physical use of it."

"I ended up texting my mom because it was stressing me out, and I felt like I needed to talk to one of my parents, but dad and I aren't on great terms."

"When I told Mom what happened, she told me not to worry, and that it wasn't stolen, she had just borrowed it."

"To be honest, I did lose my cool once I realized she wasn't joking."

"She insisted she'd cashapp me the money when she gets paid the next day and that she thought she'd be able to handle it before I even noticed."

"I told her that's not acceptable and to cut up my card (I deactivated it anyway)."

"She got upset and told me to stop throwing a fit and that she can't believe I'm being 'such a brat' about helping her."

"Things escalated from there, and I did call her some names before telling her not to contact/come around me and hanging up."

"After that, I called the police both in my area and in her's to see which precinct I needed to file charges with."

"My mom has blown up my phone so much since this that I've had to block her, and she is posting all over Facebook about how I'm getting her thrown back in jail just for borrowing some money."

"And how she can't understand how she raised such a stingy child."

The OP was left to wonder:

"So AITA? Or losing my mind? I don't think I did anything wrong here."

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA - You told her no, and then she stole from you in response."

"It wasn't even for things she needed either."

"It was for shopping and indulging in buying herself restaurant food."

"Turning her in is necessary."

"It's the only way that this stops being your debt."

"The fact that you said thrown back in jail makes me wonder what she did to end up in jail previously."

"You didn't do anything wrong despite her behaving as though you did." ~ Buttercup_Bride

"Yes. Also, for future security, if you use mobile banking, you can see if your bank does mobile alerts."

"Mine does, so I get a notification whenever there's a CC transaction."

"It's immediate and can give great peace of mind."

"(Also protects me from scammers claiming there's been a charge.)" ~ calling_water

"One smart thing anyone can do is use a fake 'mother's maiden name' when setting up security questions."

"I've been doing this for decades."

"If anyone in my family tries to access an account or get past my security questions anywhere, they're guaranteed to get that answer wrong." ~ PoobersMum

"OP also needs to have her mother formally trespassed from her home and to tell the police that she's being harassed over-reporting the crime by the perpetrator."

"They can meet in public places- like the park; I'd avoid restaurants because we know how this woman is- if the mom gets over herself."

"The kindest thing OP can do for them all is to treat her mother the way she would a stranger who had stolen from her."

"OP deserves justice and OP's mother deserves to know that actions have consequences." ~ Jenna_Carter

"Yeah, that's what bothered me the most too."

"I could never condone a mother stealing her daughter's credit card, but would be a little more understanding if it were to support her other children or something like that."

"But fast food and new clothes?"

"How can this woman live with herself?!"

"And back in jail? She sounds like a real piece of work." ~ BaitedBreaths

"OP stated in a previous AITA post that family holidays and gatherings with her genetic donors were 'awful.'"

"It appears that her mother's free-range approach to finances is among one of the reasons why--aside from an issue of being asked to participate in church services--she finds the company of her in-laws vastly more preferable."

"OP, you are absolutely NTA."

"If your mother is going back to jail, then she clearly is on parole or has enough priors that she is a frequent flyer in the system."

"She asked for a loan, you denied it, then she proceeded to screw with your credit."

"You're doing what you need to do to escape any hole she digs to drag you into."

"I am dead a** certain this woman will demand you pay her bail. Don't." ~ Samarkand457

"And supposedly she had the money anyway as she was going to Cash App it over."

"Why didn't she just pay cash for her items then?"

"She flat-out stole from you."

"Used a card without permission and ran up the bill."

"She caused you concern and a headache trying to figure out who had your card and now is acting like it is no big deal."

"Glad you called the cops."

"If she goes to jail that is on her."

"That's where thieves belong."

"If she wasn't a thief, she wouldn't have these consequences to deal with."

"Maybe she will think twice now before helping herself to the contents of other people's wallets."

"Doubtful though."

"Seems she has been in jail before for reasons and still hasn't learned her lesson as she did it again." ~ Scorp128

"It's sad that she even had to post asking if she was the AH, her Mum made her doubt herself."

"I am guessing she was raised with her Mum undermining her feelings all the time."

"I saw another comment to check their credit report, and I agree."

"There was a post with loads of updates of a girl whose mum put her in thousands of dollars worth of debt, and I don't want this happening to OP."

"OP - NTA, but her Mum is and I hope she keeps up the N[o] C[ontact] with her." ~ ZeldaMayCry

"NTA. Thrown BACK in jail?"

"So your mother has a habit of not being exactly law-abiding?"

"Yeah, you did the right thing."

"Do not back down, press charges."

"She is not someone you need in your life." ~ Foggy_Radish

"For the love of cute kittens."

"Your mother committed credit card fraud."

"If this is the US, this is a felony and will be treated as such."

"She should have thought about that from the beginning."

"IF she didn't wanna go back to jail, well, MAYBE DON'T STEAL S**T! NTA!"  ~ RemoteBroccoli

"NTA - She stole your credit card."

"Normally I think people are too quick to say go NC here but, yeah - time to cut her out of your life." ~ jrm1102

"NTA. Also, many banks/credit card companies want a copy of the police report to refund your money."

"By not following through with the police, some places will believe you gave mom permission to use the card and are attempting to scam businesses." ~ tnvols32

"NTA. Don't let her guilt trip you."

"I got the feeling there is a long history of similar behavior in your past and you have plenty of reasons for doing this, not just one incident."

"You do not need this toxicity in your life." ~ RayTX

"NTA. Actions have consequences."

"Criminal actions have significant consequences."

"The fact that you said 'back in jail' means she was fully cognizant of what those consequences might be, but thought she could take advantage of you to avoid them."

"She committed a crime."

"It might not even be up to you whether she gets prosecuted."

"Also, your CC company might require a police report in order to rescind the charges."

"This is 100% on her." ~ savinathewhite

OP came back to chat...

"Good GOD I didn't expect that much feedback."

"I posted this before I went to work, and I've been working through a serious customer rush since."

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

Your mom stole your money.

You would turn in any other person or stranger.

Why is she special?

It may be time to keep a significant distance between you and her.

So sorry this is happening to you.

Good luck getting those funds back!

Redditor thebabysitter9 is exactly who her Reddit screen name suggests - a babysitter.

The Original Poster (OP) is a teenager who babysits some weeks for extra cash.

Recently the parents the OP was sitting for stopped returning her calls and were several hours late to return home.

Out of concern for their safety as well as not knowing what else to do, the OP called the police.

Around the same time the cops arrived, the parents arrived back. To say they were displeased is an understatement.

This drove the OP to subReddit "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA).

She asked:

"AITA for calling the police when the parents I babysit for were late?"

She went on to explain:

"I [16-year-old female] sometimes babysit on weekends. My mom's coworker needed a babysitter, and she gave him my number."

"I agreed to babysit 3 kids from 2 pm till 8.30 pm. Because the parents had some party to get to."

"It went okay. But the parents didn't get back at 8.30. At 9 I tried calling him, but he didn't pick up."

"I texted a few times. At 9.30 I tried calling again. And again at 10. And 10.30."

"I tried calling my parents, but my dad was at a work dinner and my mom didn't pick up. I tried calling the parents of the kids again, but they still weren't picking up or responding."

"At 11.30 ish I called the police, because I didn't know what else to do. And I was worried something might have happened to the parents too."

"They came, and around the same time the parents came back. The dad screamed at me, and he's still very upset."

"Edit: I called the police because I was worried about the parents not picking up / being late, and because I really had to get home. Not to involve cps or anything like that."

"Edit 2: since some people asked. I didn't call the emergency number, I'm not in the US (police isn't violent here), and I was paid up front, so not for the extra 3 hours."

"(This was a response to a few comments, I don't think all US cops are violent)"

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

"NTA, the parents you babysat for are."

"You did everything right. I babysat (many years ago) when I was your age. The parents being 3 hours late and 3 hours unreachable is a babysitting emergency."

"They should ALWAYS be reachable in case there's an emergency with their kids or you or the house."

"Calling them first, multiple times, and then calling your mother were the first two steps you took, and they were both correct."

"Calling the police third was also correct. The parents were 3 hours late and did not contact you and did not respond to your attempts to contact them."

"They definitely need to pay you for the extra hours you worked. If they won't, ask your parents to get involved."

"The husband screaming at you was totally out of line, and realistically had nothing to do with you."

"And please tell your mother all about it, so she can let her coworker know you won't be babysitting for them again."

"I'm sorry you went through that. You absolutely did nothing wrong. 💐" - NWL3

"I'm sorry, the parents came home three hours later than they said they would. They gave you no heads up-and they wouldn't answer their phone."

"What were you supposed to think?!"

"Alll this drama could have been avoided if they had …"

"1. Been upfront with you on how late they reeeeeally planned on staying out, or"

"2. Let you know by text or phone call they were going to be later than they expected, so you wouldn't worry, or"

"3. If they had just answered their d*mn phone any one of the numerous times you called them"

"But… no. The parents drift home on their own sweet timetable and are surprised and shocked to find flashing lights and officers at their house. Well, I hope they were embarrassed."

"And then dad took it out on you by 'screaming' at you. Oh, and he is 'still very upset'. Well, you are upset, too."

"I bet he didn't apologize for worrying you, did he. Or give you a bonus for making you stay later and worrying you. lol. That's classy behavior right there. Yep. (s)"

"So you called 911."

"I hope you never babysit for them again. And you should let alllll your babysitter friends know what these people are like."

"Just tell your friends the whole story, like you told Reddit. NTA" - YouthNAsia63

"NTA."

"'At 9 I tried calling him, but he didn't pick up. I texted a few times. At 9.30 I tried calling again. And again at 10. And 10.30.'"

"'At 11.30 ish I called the police, because I didn't know what else to do.'"

"You did the absolute right thing. You tried contacting the father quite a few times, and he didn't respond. They came back three hours after you were told they'd be returning."

"The father was in the wrong, and he knew it. That's why he screamed at you."

"A responsible adult parent would have picked up your calls."

"I'm sure I don't have to say this, but don't ever babysit for these idiots again!" - Capelily

"NTA"

"OP, they were not 'delayed' you were straight up lied to. Nobody gets home from a party at eight thirty. That's usually when things start picking up."

"It's like they lied to you for a variety of reasons. That you not sit if you knew it would be till late, because of your own bedtime."

"They lied about the number of hours, maybe because they wanted to rip you off of the cost for the extra hours. Who knows?"

"Either way, never sit for these people again, they are clearly dishonest. Heaven forbid anything happen to the kid after you left, they'd blame you for it!" - proud_didi

"NTA 3 hours late with no communication is cause for concern."

"What's up with no one picking up their phone? Especially the parents, but even your parents. I get work dinners and all, but it's not that big of a deal to pick up a call from your kid." - Spare-Article-396

"NTA"

"You did the responsible, safe, logical thing."

"They can blame themselves for not calling you to tell you they were going to be late and for not being reachable when you tried to call them."

"You can bet your a** that if their kid was supposed to be home at 8:30 and was completely unreachable…"

"…that they would be calling the police bc they would be concerned." - Prize-Bumblebee-2192

"NTA You were left in charge of three young children and unable to contact their parents for over three hours past the point they were supposed to be back…"

"…they didn't call you and they didn't answer your calls - they could be in a ditch for all you knew."

"It was a responsible, logical thing to do with the welfare of three kids in the mix. Well done - more should follow your example."

"Also, the parents you babysat for a world class a**holes and should have left you more than one contact number." - Relevant_doom

"NTA - The parents are the ones who are being extremely irresponsible here."

"I think that they probably felt that because you are a child and that they are adults, they did not have any need to let you know of a change in plans."

"This ignored the fact that you were taking responsibility for their children during that time and had no idea what was happening. All they had to do was simply call or text you with updates."

"After a couple of hours beyond the time that they told you that they would be home, and not being able to reach them…"

"…it's reasonable to start thinking that something bad happened like they may have gotten into a car accident or something on the way home." - okIhaveANopinionHERE

"NTA, you absolutely did the right thing. WTAF is wrong with these people, your sitter is calling and you don't answer ?"

"You could simply text or call and say so sorry we're running late is that okay. What did they expect you to do, because their behavior is ridiculous." - Hadtosignuptofothis

"NTA"

"This was three hours past the time you were supposed to leave, with no contact from them and they were ignoring your calls. Of course you had to call the police."

"This had gone into child neglect by now, unless there was an emergency, in which case even more reason to involve the police."

"I hope you told your mother about this, because she needs to talk to her coworker. He abused your trust, left you in a horrible position, never apologised and yelled at you."

"He owes you an apology." - Rikutopas

"NTA sad that a 16 year old has to act more responsibility than adults. Does this loser not understand that this is unacceptable, they could have been in a car accident or anything."

"Let him be upset, and never return there!" - TheNinjaPixie

OP better be getting her overtime pay!

Redditor Major-Table-3158 had a difficult ending to their 6-year marriage in 2020 after she found out her ex-husband was cheating on her.

The Original Poster (OP) has since learned her ex and his affair partner went on to have a child. She and her ex have not spoken since the divorce.

However recently, the OP's ex showed up at her house unannounced with his child and dropped the young kid off at the OP's house.

Why? His affair partner was in the hospital giving birth to their second child.

The OP was left baffled and confused, and not knowing what else to do she called the cops.

Her decision to involve the police has driven her to subReddit "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA).

She asked:

"AITA for calling police on my ex for abandoning his child at mine while his girlfriend was giving birth?"

She went on to say:

"I [32-year-old female] have been married to my ex 'Dan' [35-year-old male] for 6 years before we divorced at the end of 2020 due to him cheating with 'Kate'.

"Kate and Dan have a son who is 3 which was conceived and born during the pandemic while I was under high risk and their entire affair has cost me some of my physical health, not just mental one."

"After the divorce Dan moved out from my house and we haven't spoken since."

"Last week Dan suddenly dropped his son at my house without giving me any warning or explanation."

"He only mumbled that Kate was giving birth to their second child and needs him in the delivery room due to complications."

"He left before I could protest and I have tried texting and calling him multiple times and have received no reply."

"I do not know why he thought it is a good idea as I had plans and they definitely don't involve someone else's child."

"I ended up calling the police and have told them what happened, explained it is not my child and I haven't agreed to look after him and his dad is not responding."

"They took the child and I haven't heard anything until very early hours of the same day when my ex called me calling me an a**hole…"

"…as the cops found them in the hospital and basically forced him out of delivery room so he can look after his child so he missed the birth of his second…"

"…and Kate had some complications so she is in intensive care."

"He also started shouting saying that his and Kate's parents are living at the opposite ends of the country and have medical conditions which mean they can't look after his son."

"I have told him that he should have used his brain cells and thought about it in advance instead of dumping the product of his affair at my house…"

"…knowing that me and him are not civil, but was called even bigger a**hole."

"I have mentioned this to some of my family and friends and while some people are on my side, others agree with my ex saying I should have looked after the kid…"

"…and an a**hole for calling the cops."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

"NTA"

"I mean, I do feel for that poor kid, being dropped off at a total stranger's house, who then calls the police and the police take him to his dad and his dad is stressed and furious."

"That must have been a hellishly traumatising night for him."

"But you didn't decide to traumatise the boy like that: his dad did."

"Of course his dad should have figured out ahead of time what the plan was for looking after a three-year-old if his mom had to go to the hospital."

"Of course the plan should not have included 'dump boy on ex with no notice'." - Enough-Process9773

"NTA"

"The cheating ex isn't the only one at fault. Good old Kate, the AP, was involved, too. What to do with the child should have (and likely was) part of the birthing plan."

"They had a good 8 months to figure this out. Don't either of these mental giants have friends?"

"Their best option was to drop the boy off at a stranger's home, expecting the stranger to just accept the situation?"

"NTA NTA NTA"

"It's not like the child was put into the foster system. They just returned him to the responsible (cough, cough) party." - blondeheartedgoddess

"You haven't spoken to this man in 3 years and he suddenly turns up expecting you to look after the child he had with his affair partner? This is absolutely bonkers."

"Of course it was a very sh*tty situation for the child to be in but that's not your fault or responsibility. Dad put him in that situation."

"NTA" - DominarDio

"'He also started shouting saying that his and Kate's parents are living at the opposite ends of the country and have medical conditions which mean they can't look after his son.'"

"Bit rich of him to expect you to care about any of that, after he gave zero craps about your health."

"'I have mentioned this to some of my family and friends and while some people are on my side, others agree with my ex…'"

"'…saying I should have looked after the kid and an a**hole for calling the cops.'"

"Tell those other friends they are more than welcome to look afte a child that's dropped on their door step, but doesn't mean you have to do the same."

"NTA" - Final_Figure_7150

"'others agree with my ex saying I should have looked after the kid and an a**hole for calling the cops.'"

"They're wrong. It's not your job to keep the peace and make life easier for your cheating ex, who made your life harder by his cheating…"

"…while wasting years of your life and negatively affecting your health. His lack of preparation is not your emergency. Since divorce, you're not his back up plan anymore."

"Don't want the police to treat you like a neglectful parent? Easy. Don't be one."

"NTA" - ChibiSailorMercury

"NTA good for you for sticking up for yourself. 100% he was dipping his toe in the water to see how much sh*t he could stick you with."

"It's his fault for not having the common sense to use google to find an overnight sitter." - compiledexploit

"NTA. I feel very, very sorry for that child but that's not your problem nor should it be."

"'saying that his and Kate's parents are living at the opposite ends of the country and have medical conditions which mean they can't look after his son. '"

"And those parents moved away and got health conditions after Kate started giving birth? What are the odds!"

"It's piss poor planning from his side, at the least. I hope for the child's sake this is an incident but I fear the worst." - Attygalle

"NTA WTF is wrong with your ex that you popped in to his head as hey she'll watch my kid no. If anything you where nice you could have just bad mouthed them to the kid (I would have)."

"Also WTF to they know literally none else like neither of them have friends?" - Electrical-Sleep-853

"NTA. Your ex's lack of foresight and planning is not your mess to clear up. Why on earth he considered dumping the kid on you is beyond me."

"If that kid hurt itself whilst under your care, you and only you would have been in the sh*t. Calling the police was the only reasonable response in this situation" - tabbycatt5

"NTA. F*ck Dan. Way to be an a**hole…. Again."

"You don't owe him anything. Better to nip this in the bud now before he starts listing you as an emergency contact for his kids."

"Like the mental gymnastics this guy is playing to think this would be a good plan of action is WILD." - OptimistPrime527

"Mute his number honey. Advise him that further contact will be considered harassment and that you will report him to the authorities if he chooses to continue."

"You did everything right. Your ex is unhinged and absolutely none of this is your business."

"NTA" - Personal_Regular_569

"NTA Seriously you were the only person you could think of to take care of his son when his wife was in labor?"

"To the people who are supporting him maybe they can go and help him out. Him dropping of the child at your doorstep is same as random stranger dropping off their kid."

"Calling the cops nipped this in the bud. If you didn't do it he would have tried to push your boundaries again when he needed help with his" - getstrongandlean

"Nope you have no reason to look after his kid."

"As a matter fact, you should make a report to CPS that him and his wife Kate are not responsible parents who planned things appropriately and having tendency to dump their kids off randomly."

"NTA" - Emotional_Wedge

Not today, Dan. Not today.

What do you think, reader? Did this dad go too far?

Every now and then, when we see a child do something naughty, we might brush it aside and think to ourselves, "kids will be kids".

Of course, some bad behavior should not be ignored, and reprimanding the children is in order, as these naughty children must be taught a lesson.

In some cases, scolding and punishments are still insufficient, and the authorities might be necessary.

Redditor SneakySpartan01 recently caught their teenage neighbors playing with a very important item.

Unfortunately, the original poster (OP)'s words of warning were completely ignored by these rowdy teens.

When the father of one of these misbehaving youths also failed to see any wrongdoing, the OP made it clear that if this happened again, he would call the police.

A threat their neighbor found completely out of line.

Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for yelling at my neighbors son for playing in my spare wheelchair?"

The OP explained why they felt calling the bad behavior of their misbehaving neighbors necessitated calling the police:

"A little backstory."

"I was born paralyzed and unable to walk and I need a wheelchair to get around."

"I mostly use a power wheelchair, and I have a spare manual wheelchair when I can't use my power chair, like when I go to my sister's house or in older buildings that are very handicapped accessible, and my power chair doesn't fit."

"So Thanksgiving afternoon, I'm having Thanksgiving at my sister's house and heading out the door, and I go out to my garage where I keep my manual chair, and I see my neighbor's son and his friend playing in my wheelchair and being very rough with."

"They were both riding on it, and they tipped over backward."

"I was angry and yelling at them that my wheelchair wasn't a toy and that I needed it and they just laughed and continued playing with it."

"So several minutes go by of me trying to get them to stop playing in my wheelchair they were in their backyard that I can't get to so I try calling their parents to try and help but they don't answer so I have to go all the way around the block to get to the front of my neighbor's house."

"When I get to the front of my neighbor's house, and I'm finally able to tell them the situation, my neighbors say it isn't a big deal and I shouldn't be so angry, but by this time, it's been several minutes and I'm supposed to be at my sister's house with food and I inform my neighbors that I need my wheelchair to go to my sister's."

"I finally got my manual chair, and I told my neighbor I'm going to call the police next time, and my neighbor said I was being a sensitive a**hole, but I don't think I am."

"Am I the a**hole?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community was in firm agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for threatening to call the police on their teenage neighbors.

If the Reddit community thought the OP did anything wrong, it was not calling the police immediately when he saw his neighbors roughly playing with their wheelchair, as this was plain theft, and they should have called the police immediately:

"NTA."

"You should have called the police this time though."- Successful_Bath1200

"NTA."

"They trespassed, and then stole your wheelchair?"

"Little sh*ts."

"File a police report now."- WelfordNelferd

"NTA."

"Time to get security cameras."- CoderJoe1

"You don't have to call the police next time."

"YOU HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE RIGHT NOW!"- 000-Hotaru_Tomoe

"NTA."

"Wheelchairs are not toys."

"And, even besides that, it didn't belong to the kids, and they should not have been on your items, and on your property, to begin with."

"You would have been 100% justified in calling the police on them."

"The whole 'you are being too sensitive' is the usual fallback of people doing wrong when called on their behavior in order to try to turn blame round on the other person."- bamf1701

"What the actual f*ck?"

"How did they get the chair in the first place?"

"This is so wrong!"

"NTA."

"Call the police and see if you can still file a report and get something so the parents see how serious it is!"

"Not a joke!"- Outrageous_Grade2713

"You should have called the police on the little trespassers the minute the parents indicated they didn't GAF what their spawn was doing in your garage."

"I hope the garage has a lock."

"And maybe get a security camera or two."

"NTA, your wheelchair isn't a toy."- YouthNAsia63

"NTA."

"Those parents don't GAF, and it would seem from the comments that the kids have in fact damaged the wheelchair."

"Who knows how many times they have abused the chair."

"Call the police now, don't wait for a next time."

"From what I know, wheelchairs are not inexpensive, and if they should break the wheelchair the next time, you don't know that those parents have the means to replace it."

"Get a lock put on your garage to be sure, but just in case there's a next time make sure that you're calling the police this time."

"Whatever repairs are needed for the wheelchair, it's likely going to be easier to hold them responsible for repairs as opposed to replacing the chair."

"It would be amazing if those kids could be made to pay for the repairs, as it might teach them a valuable lesson."- ScoobaChick28

"Are you kidding?"

"NTA."

"It is not you should not have 'been' so angry."

"It is that this should not have reached the point where you even had to 'get' this angry."

"Most kids when they get 'caught' doing something by a neighbor get the heck out of there, and it's a nuisance."

"I believe your neighbors' children ignored you because you do not present a physical threat to them or did not have the physical ability to retrieve the wheelchair from them."

"For this reason, I do not believe calling the police is escalating things unreasonably."

"Their parents should, 100%, have intervened, like it or not."

"I know this misses half the point, I agree with the other commenters that this was already a police matter when you noticed they were damaging your wheelchair."

"But it's still not what disturbs me the most."- atmasabr

"I didn't even need to read past the title to know you're NTA."

"I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user."

"Mobility aids of any kind (canes, crutches, wheelchairs, etc.) are our limbs."

"They're extensions of ourselves and no one should ever touch them without permission EVER."

"My nephew (when he was 3yo) went through a phase of switching on my power chair because he liked the noise it made."

"I asked him not to do it, and explained 'it's my legs, I need it to get home, and if the battery runs out then I can't get home'."

"'Switching it on will make the battery run out.'"

"He never switched it on again."

"Although he would ask to be there when I switched it on to go home."

"If a 3yo can understand, so can anyone else."- trappeddungarees

The OP later returned with an update, sharing that upon discovering some damage to their wheelchair, they did end up calling the police, and things took a turn the OP never saw coming:

"I asked my neighbor to fix my chair and he laughed again."

'Thankfully, nothing was broken on the chair. Everything just needed to be tightened."

"I just wanted him to be the one to do the repairs, I got them in less than 5 minutes."

'Also there were no scratches or anything on the chair."

"So after being laughed at, I went back inside and called the nonemergency number for police, and they sent someone out."

'This is where it gets kinda crazy."

"The son and his friend had both in trouble before and they were on probation so he was taken away by the police, not sure about the friend."

"also, his father was arguing with the police and then tried coming over to my house while still arguing with the police, and he was threatened with arrest and also nearly pepper sprayed."

"The father was not arrested and calmed down a little and went back inside his house."

"I will update again if anything else happens."

"Thank you everyone for saying I am NTA."

If anything, the OP was extremely generous by not calling the police the minute they saw their neighbors playing recklessly with their property.

As it was every bit within their rights to call the police over a theft.

We do hope this intervention from law enforcement will see to it that OP's mobility aid goes untouched going forward.

Homelessness continues to be a growing problem all over the world.

People try to do what they can to help those without a home, by offering them money or food.

Sadly, what continues to stall any progress in helping the hungry and homeless, is that far too many people react with fear when they encounter homeless people.

In spite of the fact that they haven't done any harm to them.

Redditor Weekly-Jump2445 was startled to discover a tent, occupied by a homeless man, near a place frequented by their young son.

Fearing for her son's safety, the original poster (OP) did what they thought was the only solution.

Having doubts about their decision, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for requesting to remove an unhoused person from my son's daycare parking lot?"

The OP explained why they felt the need to call the police after dropping their son off at daycare.

"This morning as I was dropping my son off at daycare I noticed a tent in the church parking lot."

"Normally I try to ignore those as they have become increasingly common in Denver as housing prices skyrocket but this is my son's daycare and I can not ignore a potential threat to his safety."

"I ended up speaking to the management and they elected to have a police officer come escort them off the property."

"I feel bad because I know that there's ongoing efforts for addiction support at the church that perhaps he was seeking to take advantage of (or not) but I just can't risk an episode or needles were my son plays and felt I needed to do something."

"So am I the a**hole?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

• NTA: Not the A**hole
• YTA: You're the A**hole
• ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
• NAH: No A**holes Here

The OP found little to no sympathy from the Reddit community, who all but unanimously found them to be the a**hole for calling the police on the homeless person.

Nearly everyone agreed that the OP made a rash, unfair judgement upon seeing the tent, and should have offered a little compassion before calling the police.

"YTA."

"You send your son to a daycare either next to or in the same building as a place that provides addiction support."

"You are shocked that someone exists whom you assume is seeking addiction support."

"It dawns on you that your son could see an 'episode' or get a hold of drug paraphernalia, as he attends a daycare you selected next to or in the same building that provides treatment for addiction."

"Instead of removing your son from what you have decided is an unsafe situation, you demand a human being who you aren't certain is causing an unsafe situation be removed because you have concluded it's likely they might somehow cause an unsafe situation whilst seeking the services you knew were offered when you chose / dropped your son off to daycare."

"Will you also demand the church end it's support program too?"

"I mean, you should research your daycare, location, safety protocols BEFORE enrolling."

'Does the daycare allow kids to play in a parking lot?"

"Do they not have locked doors?"

"If the children can be harmed that easily by someone in a parking lot, the issues is the daycare." kblank45

"YTA."

"If you saw needles scattered around, you'd be justified."

"If you saw someone ranting and raving, you'd be justified."

"If you saw someone who was just getting too close to the kids for comfort, you'd be justified."

"But this person was literally just minding their own business by a church (which makes sense because it's probably one of the very few spots where they felt they safe to settle themselves... like, they didn't set up camp outside a playground or Chuck E Cheese) and you blew that up for them."-cbm984

"YTA, and to assume he was an addict without proof make you a major AH."

"There is an increase in homelessness because people cannot afford to pay the rents with the income they receive."

"No one asks to be homeless."

"Addictions are a disease."

"We all have a right to housing and if we don't to be near resources that will help us."

"I am guessing the reason this individual picked this spot was because it was safer than anywhere else."

"So congratulations in evicting an individual from their home."

"Something to consider is that a large portion of the US is just one job loss or accident or illness from losing their stable housing."

"Those without family or friend supports end up literally homeless on the streets."

"This could easily be you and is that how you would hope to b treated by others?"

"If the person was not presenting a safety risk, then why get involved."

"I work with folks experiencing homelessness and housing insecurity."

"I have assisted addicts, mental health, no disabilities, families, youth, etc."

"I can tell you the folks have ranged from generational poverty to an individual that had been a Director of Athletics at a D3 school."

"OP and others need to spend a bit more time educating themselves before making assumptions about anyone."- FormerIndependence36

"YTA."

"You're making someone's life more difficult based on hypotheticals, not evidence."

"Plus really if your son ends up playing with needles in a parking lot, that's the fault of his guardians."

"I'm very disappointed with the managers for jumping straight to police without finding out if the church could be of assistance first."

"I used to manage a library and had to fend of people's complaints about homeless people doing nothing more than using a computer or quietly sitting reading newspapers."

"People didn't like how they had to exist in the same space it seemed."- stophittingthyself

"YTA."

"Your son is in daycare, supervised by adults, not in that person's tent."

"Congratulations on making the life of someone who is already struggling even more miserable."- 000-Hotaru_Tomoe

"YTA."

'The church staff is aware there is a tent in the church parking lot."- LowBalance4404

"YTA."

"And it seems that is the least Christian thing you could have done."

"Call around for an outreach?"

"Nope."

'Just toss his/her broke a** off Christian property because God forbid your child have to see that."

"Statistically, your child walking in the vicinity of a homeless person while holding your hand is significantly less risky than being left alone with church folks (that you probably don't really know)."

"Source: Personal experience."- OldMammaSpeaks

"Was the homeless person really a threat to your son, or was he just a threat to the parking lot?"

"Because unless they let children play in the parking lot, there was no way your son, or other children btw, were at risk."

"YTA, because you sound very judgmental and use fake empathy to get people to side with you."-OmegaSupreme76

"YTA."

"You forced someone out of a safe living situation simply because you think poor people who can't afford housing are all inherently addicts, and dangerous."

"As a formerly homeless person i'm disgusted."

"Hope you get evicted from your place one day so you know how they feel."- suzpiria

"YTA."

"Matthew 25:40-43: Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."

"I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me."- ninaa1

"What exactly did you say when you were 'speaking to the management?'"

"If you were simply asking if they were aware of the situation, and asking them to check into it if they were not, that's reasonable."

"If you said what you included in your last paragraph of your OP about risk of 'an episode' (what exactly do you call 'an episode') and brought up needles that did not exist then YTA."

"It's understandable to ensure the management is aware of the person."

"It is cruel and wrong to make up info to influence management to remove the person based on your prejudices."- Radiant-Ability-3216

There were a select few, however, who felt that the OP didn't do anything wrong, as they were only thinking of the safety of their son

"I'm going to get downvoted to hell but NAH."

"He may have been perfectly fine but if there was an incident, which happens in Manhattan all the time btw, where say you wake a homeless person up and they are startled and either throw a punch or have a knife, then someone will sue that school because they knew he was there."

"My heart breaks for the homeless because I see them all day every day but it just takes one time."

"And this is by a school not next to a random Home Depot."

"And all you YTA people, how many shelters and food kitchens do you volunteer at?"

"Just curious."- jersey385

It's a parent's job to worry about their children.

Even so, a tent on the grounds of a church, where people go to seek help and refuge, doesn't seem like sufficient cause for alarm to get the police involved.

How common does common knowledge have to be in order for someone's anger at you not knowing it to be justified?

That was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) NoNeedleworker8772 when they came to the "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for judgment.

She asked:

"AITA for allowing the police in my home?"

An innocent start.

"So over the summer my husband's son Jay stays with his mom."

"He's 16."

"He gets home and gets everything ready for school. I noticed his mom gave him a new gaming system and I don't say anything as he puts it in his room."

"It's not uncommon for his mom buy him things."

A sudden twist.

"The police show up at my house and ask to see both me and Jay."

"His dad is working."

"I let the police come in and they asked about his gaming system and I tell him sure them I saw him unpack it. Once Jay gets in the living room I'm told it's stolen."

"I freak out!"

"I yell at my Jay and the police arrest him and tell me I can come get him after the booking process it will take a few hours."

"I let them take my Jay and the gaming station! I was so overwhelmed with everything. I call my husband and he starts yelling at me because I let the police in the house and take Jay."

"I got an earful about it and my husband goes to the police station and it takes a long time for him to come home with Jay!"

"My husband sends Jay to his room and yells at me about how I let this happen."

"I should have not let them into the house and I shouldn't have told them Jay was home. I said why?"

"He acts like it was common sense and I should have found out more information. He calls me names like stupid and naive."

Escalation.

"The fight turns into me say how was I supposed to know how to act I was taught better to cover for a criminal."

"My husband said Jay is not a criminal. I pointed out he was literally just arrested for freaking stealing."

"My husband told me to get out."

"I'm staying with my sister and her husband right now because of this."

"They are in just as much shock as me because they would have never thought to be rude to the police either and not allow them in."

OP was left to wonder,

"AITA?"

Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for judgment.

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• • NTA - Not The A**hole
  • YTA - You're The A**hole
  • NAH - No A**holes Here
  • ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided: YTA

Mistakes may have been made.

"INFO."

"Do you actually know if this gaming station was stolen?"

"Just because the police show up at your place and claim something was stolen doesn't make it so."

"Police will frequently ask people to do innocuous sounding things in order to get a pretext for a search/detainment."

'"They would have never thought to be rude to the police either and not allow them in'"

"This take is coming from a tower so ivory I cannot look at it directly without risking blindness."

"I just want to address some more things in the post. Your husband shouldn't have called you stupid."

"I agree with his take that you're naive or perhaps a victim of your own privilege. I'm not surprised the insults started flying. This is a stressful situation for all parties."

"Doesn't give him the right to insult you. He's an AH for that."

"Being arrested does not mean someone is guilty. Police saying someone is or has committed a crime does not mean they are or have committed a crime." ~ Asiatic_Static

"Just to be clear, Jay was ACCUSED of a crime, not convicted of one, so for you to assume he's a criminal automatically would bother me too if that were my son."

"Plus, you don't know the exact circumstances as to how the console was obtained."

"His mom could have brought it from a third party for all you know, so again, who are you to call a sixteen-year-old a criminal when you just made an assumption based on what the police told you?!"

"You failed Jay in a big way."

"Sorry, YTA!" ~ jabronimax969

"YTA"

"Never, never, never, NEVER, NEVER let the police into your house without a warrant. Never let the police talk to your minor child without you or a lawyer present."

"It may only be a 'simple misunderstanding'. The chances of the cops being 'crooked' or 'planting' something to make a case may be slim,..."

"But if that slim occurrence should happen and the police decide to ruin your day, you can lose everything you own to civil forfeiture, and your entire reality can come crashing down because you were trying not to be rude."

"The police are not your friends."

"You can be civil, but DO NOT let them in the door because no matter how nice you are, YOU are still considered a possible perp..." ~ Ren_Arcen

The benefit of the doubt.

"It's not remotely common knowledge; that's why every criminal lawyer will repeatedly emphasize to all their clients 'DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO THE POLICE unless I'm with you"'.

"It's common knowledge among certain subcultures but not in the general population."

"If you follow any criminal lawyers on social media, you will also, from time to time, see them venting about their clients' insistence on speaking to the police even after the client has been warned not to by the lawyer."

"If you've ever been in a situation where you would find it totally unremarkable to hear someone say 'f**k the police' or 'all cops are bastards', it's important, as a reality check for yourself, to remember that most people love the police and think they're wonderful." ~ superiority

"The average person is going to be innocent, and I can see people wanting to be honest because 'I've nothing to hide'".

"Which inevitably causes problems cause they reveal info that was never requested of them."

"People should question the likes of cop shows FAR more often because, in 99.9% of cop shows, there is blatant police propaganda being shown."

"Usually the criminal asks for a lawyer, and they are super in your face about how bad and shady it is for a person to request a lawyer."

"Those shows have permeated the public consciousness. People think as long as they talk and are honest, the police will let them go. They don't wanna be the 'bad guy' with a lawyer." ~ keichunyan

"Victim of her own privilege?"

"She wasn't the one with a stolen video game in possession (allegedly)."

"You make it sound like someone that clearly has had very limited interaction with police (and likely none on the wrong side of the law) is somehow a 'victim of her own privilege'"?

"Sounds to me like she leads a law-abiding life."

"I guess if that makes her a victim of her own privilege up in an ivory tower, maybe I've been teaching my kids the wrong things." ~ Party-Psychology3126

Complex Relations.

"Allow me to point you to Google to find out why people in the US do not trust law enforcement."

"He would have always been held accountable as the police could pursue a warrant based on whatever evidence compelled them to go to the house in the first place."

"Our justice system allows people to refuse police entry without a warrant as a right in this situation."

"And it's not bad or wrong to insist that they go through with obtaining a warrant as is their job."

"And it's not bad or wrong to refuse a police interview for yourself or someone's minor child when you are overwhelmed and not thinking clearly."

"That's exactly when you call a lawyer."

"They will tell you if it makes sense to voluntarily surrender or show up for an interview without an arrest."

"Are you a child or law enforcement officer or just painfully unaware of how the justice system actually operates in the US?" ~ MoMoJangles

"If the police don't have a warrant, they don't get to search the house, and if they do it anyway, any evidence they find is inadmissible in court."

"So yes, not allowing the police in would have been a much better idea."

"Allowing the police in without a warrant gives them the idea that they don't need to get warrants, which is a problem for our entire justice system." ~ 2022F**kPutin

"NAH, but you should have known better."

"You never let the cops into your home without a warrant. You figure out what they want, don't tell them anything, and get a lawyer if necessary."

"You don't even know if the gaming system was actually stolen. You don't know if he bought it from a friend who stole it, if his mom stole it, if he found it, etc."

"The cops could be wrong, and now your stepson was arrested because you weren't cautious. Hopefully, that's a lesson learned."

"If anything, YTA only because you turned it into an argument with your husband about how your stepson is a criminal."

"Your husband was obviously scared, stressed, didn't know what was happening to his son and why."

"He also trusted you to take care of him, and you had a minor in your care."

"You don't let anyone in the house that doesn't have a good reason for being there, even the cops. It seems you have a skewed perspective on your stepson, which is unfortunate." ~ sxl1092

Would I have handled this situation the way OP did?

We wish the OP and their family well as they resolve the situation with the proper authorities.

When in doubt, ask for a lawyer.

It's a parent's job to worry about the safety of their children.

Even if some tend to spend much more time worrying than others.

As a result, if their child leaves their sight for even less than a minute, it's hard for them not to jump to the worst-case scenario.

Redditor Competitive-Egg-8527 and his wife recently had quite an eventful time grocery shopping, when they saw their son being hugged by a stranger.

Something which set off the protective instincts of the original poster (OP)'s wife, who even went so far as to get authorities involved.

The OP, on the other hand, felt her reaction was a bit much, which his wife didn't appreciate one bit.

Wondering if he was being unfair to her, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for thinking my wife overreacted when an elderly lady touched our kid?"

The OP explained why he felt his wife's reaction only made a recent incident at the supermarket even worse.

"My wife and I went shopping."

"I went to a different aisle to get some jerky."

"I heard my wife scream HELP!"

"So I ran over, and she was freaking out because an elderly women hugged our son, you can tell the woman was harmless."

"The woman's son came along and profusely stated that she had dementia and she meant no harm, that she tends to view every child as her child."

"I said it was okay, and I myself apologized for my wife's overreaction."

"During this time I was not paying attention and my wife called 911 and called over security it became a huge mess for all parties because my wife was not letting the issue go."

"You could also tell the son was extremely embarrassed as was I."

"I was trying to relax my wife, but she was going on a complete meltdown rage saying that his mother should be in a home if she cannot keep her hands to herself."

"What if she got our kid sick, tried to kidnap him, got combative, and hurt him."

"All of which I agree are possible outcomes, but I told her none of that happened so let's just leave it."

"Security states since the wife called the police we had to wait for them to show up, so they can file a report as per their store policy."

"About 25 minutes later police showed up and asked what happened and my wife explained everything, you can tell the police were like WTF is wrong with this woman."

"I felt nothing but disappointment."

"Police took the statement and started laughing as they left."

"Gave the son of the elderly mom a fist bump and said sorry."

"My wife was upset I did not have her side, she was upset how I took the side of the son instead of her."

"I explained his mom was clearly sick, it was a harmless gesture, and explained she was one that acted unreasonably."

"I did acknowledge her concerns, but nothing bad happened we could have just let it slide and went on with our day."

'She told me I failed as a husband."

"So we ran the story by our family and friends, it is a a 50/50 split."

"So my BIL said this would be a funny story for AITA, he frequents the sub"

"So reddit was I the AITA?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

• NTA: Not the A**hole
• YTA: You're the A**hole
• ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
• NAH: No A**holes Here

The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for telling his wife she overreacted.

While everyone agreed that the OP's wife had every right to worry about the safety of their son, they also agreed that she went way too far for calling 911, as it was clearly a mistake and their son was unharmed, and she could have even shown the woman some sympathy.

"NTA."

"It was fine for your wife to yell for help and get upset when it first happened."

"Calling 911 and continuing to make a huge deal of it after the son explained the dementia was out of line and definitely a huge overreaction."- poeadam

"One time I was taking a nap during the Christmas holidays when I was awoken by someone hammering at my front door."

"I opened it to an extremely angry elderly lady shouting that she was fed up with my dog going on her property and my son riding his bike through her flowerbeds."

"I didn't have a dog or a kid!"

"I explained this to her, she called me a liar and said she was going to report me to the management company and left."

"Anyway a few minutes later, another knock."

"It was her daughter to apologize."

"Her mother was visiting for the holidays but usually resided in a care home as she had dementia."

"I felt bad for her."

"A few days later when the older lady returned to my door with the same complaints I apologized to her and promised to keep my dog and kid better controlled."

"Funny but it seemed to appease her."- Particular-Ad6338

"NTA."

"Good lord."

"Your wife's initial concern was justified, but after the situation was explained and an apology was offered, she should have dropped it."

"There was no reason to call 911, or even store security."

"You didn't 'fail as a husband', you were acting rationally."- soog0704

"NTA."

"Panicking I can understand."

"Calling 911 when the situation has already been defused and there was no danger to the kid?"

"That's an a**hole move."

"911 is an emergency line, There was no emergency."

"Also, if you are in America, is she trying to get someone killed?"

"There is absolutely no world where I would take your wife's side after she involved the police for such a sh*t reason."

"I hope in the future once her health starts failing she'd be fine with her children just dumping her in a home where she belongs (as per her claims)."

"She shows an extreme lack of empathy."

"Also how did she leave a 1.5yo in such a situation where a helpless old granny was able to take him and hug him without her being able to put a stop to it before it even happened?"- Lucallia

"NTA."

"Your wife's initial panic is understandable, but doubling down and calling the police when it was already clear the woman wasn't a threat and the moment was over was extreme and unnecessary."-coffeemom23

"NTA."

"While your wife does have a point- idk how old your kid is but that's a little traumatic to have some strange woman come grab you."

"It's scary for a little kid."

"The son should be a little more careful with his mom."

"What if she grabbed a kid with special needs and the kid hurt her or themself?"

"I do think though he apologized, explained the situation and nothing else bad happened."

"Calling 911 was too far."

"I think if your wife felt strongly about reporting it- tell the store manager."

"That's it."- DoraTheUrbanExplorer

"I'm amazed it's a 50/50 split."

"I think your wife overreacted massively."

"I would think that your child may have been distressed by your wife's reaction, but not by being hugged by an old lady."- PeggyNoNotThatOne

"NTA."

"Your wife's initial reaction is over the board but at least understandable."

"Her follow-up reaction though is completely nuts."

"Her comment to you on 'failing as a husband' - well in that case she failed as a human being."-ItIsNotAManual1984

"NTA."

"Get your wife a therapist."

"That's a way overboard reaction."- Honest_Specific6241

"NTA."

"Tell your wife to hope that someone shows her the same grace when she's 87 and suffering from dementia."

"I would have waited for her in the car- standing by just fed her sense that she was right."-capmanor1755

"NTA."

"Your wife sounds nuts."- Illustrious_State862

"NTA."

"Her initial reaction is parental instinct."

"But it sounds like she escalated more and more even as the situation was totally de-escalating."

"Compassionately, though, you might want to talk to her about what was going on when everyone is calm again."

"This looks more like a PTSD trigger than an ordinary reaction."

"Maybe she has had some experiences in the past, that made this extremely stressful for her."-Throw_Spray

"NTA."

"Your wife more than overreacted."

"Yikes."- NJESQ04

"NTA."

"I'd have said NAH if your wife hadn't called the police."

"That was an overreaction, and I'm wondering if there's something in her past or that she's seen in the media/online/somewhere that triggered it."

"I think my initial reaction would have been similar."

"But calling security and the cops?"

"I can't rationalize that in my head."

"Especially after the woman's son explained and apologized."- Rough_Start_5396

Seeing your child in the arms of a stranger is certainly an alarming sight.

However, as soon as the OP's wife learned what had actually happened, you'd think she might have shown even the slightest bit of understanding to the confused woman and her son.

The fact that she didn't suggests there might be something more serious going on with her, which maybe she and the OP should have a talk about.

People's homes are their sanctuaries.

Even when people open their homes to others frequently, it doesn't mean it's a lifetime pass.

Or does it?

Inviting in guests is like inviting in a vampire.

Once they're in, it's your issue.

So laying down the law of who visits is imperative.

But it can cause some drama.

Case in point...

Redditor hippajibba wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

"AITA for not letting my neighbor and her kids swim in our pool?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"I 29 F[emale] live with my husband 30 M[ale] in a nice house in a smaller town."

"We have double income, no kids."

"Our house has a pool in the yard, it's really nice since it does get quite hot during summers."

"Our neighbor 32 F is a single mom of three, her house doesn't have a pool and it's a lot smaller than ours."

"Both me and my husband babysit for her sometimes which is why I know this."

"Yesterday morning when my husband had already left for work and I had started to work from home, I heard noises from our yard."

"Our houses in here aren't right next to each other so it's quite easy to tell that the noise is from your yard."

"So I went to check and our neighbor and her kids were swimming in our pool."

"I was confused since she has never come to our house uninvited."

"But I went to talk to her and asked what was going on."

"She explained that she had a day off from work so she wanted to do something nice with her kids so she decided to 'borrow' our pool since we don't have much use for it since we are child-free."

"I asked her nicely to leave since they had come uninvited and were there without our permission."

"She thought I was joking but when I asked again she got defensive and demanded that I should give her valid reasoning why she and her kids can't be there."

"I didn't give her reasonings but I told her that I would call the police if she didn't leave and told her not to show up uninvited again."

"She did leave but kept cursing at me."

"And even accused me of classicism."

"I think it's important to mention that because we live in an area where the houses aren't right next to each other and you can't see inside our house even for the furthest point of our yard."

"So me and my husband tend to hang out just in underwear or sometimes naked."

"So I was shocked to find her there just using our pool so comfortably."

"My neighbor has been mad at me since and she has bad-mouthed me to others in the neighborhood."

"I told my husband and my parents about this."

"My husband and my dad think what I did was reasonable but my mom told me that I should have been more understanding to her since she works hard and is a single mom of three."

"But I feel like she didn't care about our privacy at all."

"So am I the a**hole?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"If she complains again or badmouths you in the neighborhood, remind her, and everyone, it is also a liability issue for you if someone were to get hurt while swimming."

"Just because you have a pool does not make it the friendly neighborhood pool, and she was trespassing at the least, stealing by using your pool at the worst."

"Remind Mom of the possible consequences of her actions as well."

"It's also possible that her kids would just show up without her, making it even more dangerous."

"Thinking it's good to do it with mom there, they can do it without her."

"Your Mom also needs to be reminded." ~ dhbroo12

"I'm a single mom with 2 kids and I feel weird about going to FAMILY member's houses to swim when they've given us an open invitation to just swim whenever."

"I have a cousin who works really hard and basically made him and his wife a huge event space with a big pool and they told all of us to just come whenever we want. Even then."

"Even when I know it's okay."

"I would want to ask first before I would go."

"I can't imagine just showing up in someone's yard without ever asking. the audacity, honestly. NTA!" ~ SpudTicket

"NTA Absolutely."

"It is a huge liability for her or anyone to be in your pool without permission and without oversight."

"What if one of the children has an accident or drowns he would be liable."

"I would put up signs saying private property, or whatever is customary in your own country to let everyone know this is not something that can be shared without permission." ~ Myobright2344

"This is very very important!!!"

"Please be sure you have a lockable fence around your pool!"

"Also, double-check your homeowner's insurance policy."

"You are entirely in the right here and in NOW WAY are you the a**hole, OP!"

"This woman was trespassing on your property and teaching her young children to do the same."

"A person with a lack of morals and consideration like her would be highly likely to sue you should an accident occur in your pool."

"Be careful!!"  ~ AlmeMore

"NTA. Absolutely agree with OP and everyone else."

"Please arrange to lock your gate and ensure your backyard is fenced securely as it's an 'attractive nuisance' that means you have to keep it secure as it's risky for children unseen to swim in a swimming pool. You?"

"Your next-door neighbor is outrageous for trespassing into your garden and then pool, letting her children play in your swimming pool without any permission."

"It's yours, not hers."

"She would have been more sensible to have asked you nicely one day that you were home, as a one-off."

"And hoped that on hot days you might invite them over again… she can use the public swimming pools like everyone else."

"Now you would be sensible to never let her use it because of how downright entitled and nasty she's been."

"She's clearly a person who will take a mile off you offer an inch (English phrase for overstepping and not respecting what is yours, not hers)."

"Also, How does she know you'd not just put lots of chemicals in it to clean it?" ~ JSJ34

"NTA. Not only was it important that your neighbor isn't trespassing on your property and using your pool without permission."

"But depending on where you are if one of those kids gets hurt using your pool then you could be liable."

"What that mother did was out of pocket."

"Stick to your guns and get a motion-activated camera to make sure she's not still using the pool." ~ Choice_Werewolf1259

"Agreed - even if she had permission, it's a legal liability issue if she or her kids gets hurt."

"This is why pools are called 'attractive nuisances' by insurance companies, and why my folks never put one in, even though we have a ton of space in the back."

"Even if you have security cameras and locked fences up, proving that she was trespassing and did not have your permission to be there or to use the pool, she can still sue you for the damages."

"Her using 'you're classist' is factually not true; she needs a dictionary."

"It's not 'classist' to expect permission to be asked for the use of YOUR PRIVATE PROPERTY by others, especially when you're assuming ALL of the legal risks."

"Nor is it classist to not want your private property to be used by others at all in order to protect yourself from that very legal liability and risk."

"You bought and paid for it, and not for others' use, unlike, say, donating to the updating of a public park or another public-use place, for which public input would take precedence."

"If she wants a pool, she can get her own; a pool is neither a right nor a requirement but a privilege."

"Put up an electrified security fence and cameras, and maybe even get a trained guard dog as a deterrent (this will also keep wildlife out of your pool, so they don't drown either); no doubt she'll try to get in again when you're not around."

"I'd also call up the police non-emergency number and ask their advice for a group of neighbors who keeps trespassing to use your pool without permission and after you've explicitly told them 'no.'"

"Needless to say, NTA - minimize the risk to yourself."  ~ TigerShark_524

"NTA. First, this is YOUR pool and you get to decide who can use it, much like you can decide who can just walk into your house."

"Second, there are liability issues if anyone gets hurt or worse."

"Third, when people start demanding your things, they have lost the moral high ground."

"This neighbor and her kids will just have to find another place to swim until she sincerely apologizes and agrees to abide by your terms."  ~ FuzzyMom2005

OP came back with some details...

"Thank you for all the advice."

"We have purchased locks and cameras for our pool (we already have a fence)."

"Also, we live in the US, but we were both born in China and later moved here, we met in university here in the US."

"Also, we were babysitting for free, but we are not going to continue doing so."

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

People can't just come onto your property whenever without permission.

Your house. Your rules.

Hopefully, this doesn't cause a big issue with the neighborhood.

That can be uncomfortable.

But show everyone this article, and maybe they'll understand.

And bad for your neighbor.

Losing free babysitters is a HUGE deal.

Accepting new members into the family after divorce can be tricky.

It won't often be smooth.

But when the person coming in has their own animosity, that makes the process even more difficult.

So everyone does their best to adjust.

However, when theft becomes an issue... things take a different turn.

Case in point...

Redditor DraculaUnited wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

"AITA because I threatened to send my stepmother to jail?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"As background information: My parents have been divorced for over ten years."

"And me (M[ale] 21) and my siblings (W[oman] 24 and m19) met my father's new girlfriend about four years ago."

"Our not-yet stepmother always had a certain dislike towards us, and we didn't like her either."

"She always subtly implied that she doesn't like us."

"We have often tried to tell this to our father, but he is the 'quiet type.'"

"He never gets involved and believes that we should 'feel educated' by her."

"I moved out 1 year ago."

"Now I have learned that my father and his girlfriend are planning to get married (her idea)."

"Even though our family has never been financially well-off, my 'stepmother' wants to have a big celebration."

"Now here's the problem: She is demanding financial support from all of us children for the celebration because we are 'family' too."

"My sister (24) is kind-hearted and even offered to help voluntarily, but my brother (19) and I were super annoyed."

"When I refused to give her a single buck and suggested that she should just make the celebration smaller, she flipped out, and we had a heated argument."

"After that, we didn't have any contact for a few days until I suddenly received a notification that a certain amount of money was missing from my bank account."

"It turned out that my crazy 'stepmother' had her hands in our accounts."

"Since I had a good relationship with my father, he had access to one account, which money she simply took."

"It wasn't a significant amount, but when she refused to return the money, I threatened to report her to the police for theft."

"All the relatives think that I want to 'prevent the wedding.'"

"And they say, 'Don't make such a fuss, family is more important than money, blah blah.'"

"But I'm angry and waiting to see if she returns it or if I actually go through with it."

"AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA. Call your bank immediately, and have your father removed from your account and tell them what happened."

"Whether or not you take legal action, you absolutely need to change ALL of your passwords and account access on literally anything you have- if you ever logged into an account of any kind at your dad's house, you need to change those passwords."

"Tell your dad that you are officially removing him from anything he has access to that is yours, as his fiancé has crossed boundaries you're not willing to compromise on."

"Don't cave on this--she is helping herself to YOUR money, and it definitely won't be the last time."

"They're not even married yet, and she's expecting you to pay her way- the fact that she thinks a 19-year-old and 21-year-old have money to spare is unhinged."  ~ SpicyTurtle38

"Adding to this, OP, you should check and lock down your credit."

"If she's willing to steal from you this way, she may well try to steal from you in other ways as well if she hasn't already!"

"Your stepmother is nothing more than a THIEF. NTA." ~ Catatomical

"NTA. u/DraculaUnited, you should also tell your father what his gf did."

"If she had access to your account, stole money from you, there's no telling what she's skimming from your father."

"Lock down your accounts, change passwords, and contact your bank immediately to remove dad's access (siblings do same)."

"How long has it been since she stole your money and you told her to return it? 48 hours?"

"No return of money… Go to the police."  ~ MizPeachyKeen

"Jumping on top/top comment to note that your father is at least as culpable here!"

"He accessed your bank account and took the money out on her behalf, OR let her do it directly -- either way, this is a huge breach of the close, and obviously trusted, the relationship you've enjoyed."

"This breach of trust by your father is independent over whether it's right for you to contribute to this wedding or not."

"It's certainly not right for her to have a sense of entitlement about it, and both wrong and illegal to just take money on any terms."

"Even if it was right, or you'd volunteered to help fund, for example, just taking that money is absolutely over the line."

"The advice you're getting on security measures is correct, but also, I would communicate this breach of trust to your dad and pressure him to make this right immediately."

"He must fix this and never do it again, at risk of rupturing your relationship irreparably, and you should make the stakes of this clear to him."

"Beyond that, I'd say your father's fiancé is a total AH, and you're going to have problems here."  ~ gc1

"OP needs to be blunt and tell their spineless father that the money gets returned or she's reported to the police, and he makes sure everyone knows what she's done."

"No point in threatening No Contact or anything to the father as he's so utterly lacking that he'll just roll over and do whatever his bed partner says."  ~ Hoplite68

"Give Dad a deadline."

"Money is returned by Monday morning, or you call the police at 8 a.m."

"Something like that."

"The problem with the police angle is you gave your father your password and info."

"It will be a civil matter."

"You are going to need some sort of proof that she took the money; voicemails, texts, etc."

"She is going to say it was your dad who took it otherwise."

"So how quiet is your dad willing to be if she is going to make him complicit in the theft of your money?"

"Also, for those who say you are trying to prevent the wedding, ask them why you should want a thief in the family."

"She's going to keep taking what she can."

"Maybe ask Dad to keep her away from his main account."

"Good luck. You and your family are on a collision course for Drama City." ~ NoFee4250

"Even if she returns it, report it."

"If they can't do anything about it, at least you will have documentation if something more drastic happens in the future." ~ Hornet-Diligent

"NTA. People are seriously telling you that family is more important than money in defense of a woman who stole money from her family."

"The cognitive dissonance is strong there." ~ Jasnah_Sedai

"NTA. Report the theft to the police and to the bank."

"She has absolutely no right to steal money from your bank account."

"If she gets away with it, she'll likely clean out the rest of your account."

"Make sure you transfer your money to a different account, possibly at a different bank."

"And don't let anyone else know the account number or password."

"How on Earth did this overly entitled AH get your bank account number, etc?"

"From your father?"

"If so, he's even a bigger AH."

"And if he marries the thief, she may end up taking every penny he has." ~ Paevatar

"NTA. Call the po-po."

"Sounds like she is the type to resist and get tased."

"You can file a public records request later for the body cam footage."

"Then play it during her stupid little wedding slideshow that she will make sure includes no pics of you."

"Then post an update on here." ~ CampfireTalks

"Ummm, what am I missing here?"

"How are you even thinking you are an a**hole at all for this?"

"She's a criminal."

"Criminals need to be held accountable, yea you may love your dad, but he really needs to take off those rose-tinted glasses cause this woman is not only stealing from you."

"But she's going to actively keep turning your whole family against you. NTA!" ~ 420Flora

"NTA - this is theft plain and simple - she asked for the money, you refused, and she took it anyway in clear violation of your word."

"I doubt this would end well if you did proceed, and will result in grief all around, but that's an unfortunate side effect of your father shacking up with a person displaying some very poor ethics."

"I don't know this woman, but it seems like even if you sucked it up and let the money go, this wouldn't be the last time she pulls a stunt like this." ~ Spineberry

"Hey OP, regardless of whether you follow the advice on this thread and report her, be prepared to stand up for yourself in front of the family."

"Maybe try and ally yourself with your siblings so you don't have to stand alone."

"But tell your family, in no uncertain terms, that this woman who is about to enter your family, decided to steal from one of you."

"And that they are trying to cover for it, and if that is really the kind of family they want to be, don't let them shame you into not rocking the boat."

"Be firm in upholding your boundaries, and call them on their hypocrisy every time they come at you, if you have the strength for it, cuz it's gonna get through." ~ lordmonkeyfish

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

Theft is theft.

Nobody gets to siphon your savings for whatever reason.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck.

The more places you live, the more you learn that neighbors are nothing like sitcoms portray them.

At least not in most neighborhoods.

Neighbors aren't always best friends.

In fact, in this day and age, some neighbors have become the worst of enemies.

That's no way to live peacefully.

Case in point...

Redditor ringpackageaita wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

"AITA For calling the cops on my neighbor after they took a package off my porch?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"I (38 F[emale]) live alone in the house I grew up in."

"It was left to me by my mother after she passed away ten years ago."

"About four years ago, a couple about my age moved in next door, and we've pretty much been at odds since day one."

"There have been numerous times and issues that we've disagreed on."

"I have three cats that I sometimes let out into my backyard."

"My neighbors have a dog that would jump the 5-foot chain link fence separating our yards to chase my cats."

"I told my neighbors if I caught their dog doing it again, I would call the cops."

"They actually had the audacity to ask if I would be willing to split the cost of a taller privacy fence instead of, you know, training your dog not to jump the fence."

"Obviously, I refused as I wasn't the one causing the problem, and the fence is technically on their property anyway."

"They ended up putting in a taller fence."

"Then, they asked me to split the cost of taking down an Ash tree that was on their property."

"It had become infested with some bug that killed the tree, and dead limbs were falling on their driveway."

"They had the city come out, and the survey guy said the tree was actually about 10% on my property."

"I told them the tree was theirs, and if they want it down, they'll have to pay for it because I don't have a problem with it."

"Needless to say, we're not friends."

"They've also thrown some loud, late-night parties that included bonfires and loud music that I had to call the cops for as well."

"I am currently out of town visiting family for a couple of weeks."

"I have a friend who comes over to my house every day to check on my cats and check for mail and packages."

"I have medication for my cats that is delivered regularly."

"I got a notification the other day that some packages were delivered, so I texted my friend to let them know."

"But before my friend could get there, I got a notification from my Ring doorbell."

"I pulled up the live feed and saw my neighbor on my patio."

"I asked him what he was doing, and he said a package of theirs got delivered to my house by mistake, so he was just grabbing it."

"I told him to leave and that my friend would bring over his package when she comes over."

"He said he's not waiting for that and tried to leave."

"I told him if he takes a package from my porch, I'm calling the cops."

"He shoved the package in front of the camera and said, 'That's my name and address, OP. I'm taking my package.'"

"Then he walked away."

"So, I called the police and told them that he stole a package from me, and I have video proof."

"They said they would investigate."

"When my friend got there a little later, the police were talking to my neighbors."

"The police must have left while she was checking on my cats because when she went to leave, it was just my neighbors outside."

"The husband yelled at her to tell me that I'm a huge a**hole and that I need to take the police off speed-dial and let them deal with more important crap instead of using them as my own personal problem-solving service."

"So AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.

"YTA. I get the fence thing."

"You could have pitched in on the tree just to chill things out."

"Calling the police about the parties without talking to them about it first is very a**hole."

"If it was his package and it had their name and address on it, calling the cops on them was also an a**hole move."

"You're officially an a**hole neighbor now."  ~ Independent_Tie_4984

"This is a toxic situation."

"At each step prior to the Ring conversation, I think that you did the right thing."

"Even calling the cops when they are being loud after previous bad experiences makes sense to me... you don't need to go beg them to be quiet."

"But, telling them to leave a package with their name on it is being an a**hole."

"Sure, call the cops for them trespassing, but they aren't stealing from you." ~ odubik

"Because you haven't tried to build up trust with the neighbor."

"So, of course, you will be hostile at every interaction."

"A tree is 10% OPs problem, and they are on the hook if the tree falls and damages property."

"Whatever your H[omeowners] A[ssociation]'s rules have zero relevance to this situation."

"I hope you are nicer in person than you act online."

"It would be hard being friends with someone who only looks out for themselves and disregards anything that is not their problem."  ~ dragonkin08

"Good neighbors mind their own business."

"A good neighbor wouldn't be strong-armed into installing a fence that isn't theirs or wasn't intended just because another neighbor can't control their animals."

"A good neighbor wouldn't be strong-armed into contributing to cut down a tree that isn't their problem, even just 10%."

"It's not a problem for you, so why should you have to pay for it."

"A good neighbor to you just seems like someone you can steamroll to get what you want."

"Who cares about property value if op didn't want any of this sh*t to begin with."

"These neighbors are basically bringing problems to her doorstep she never had, so why is it somehow her responsibility or fault to be the bigger person."

"Entitled as heck." ~ skoomakang

"Brit here - if I were picking up a package, I'd walk over to their door and knock on it to say what I was doing, but if they're not answering and my parcel is right there, I'm taking it."

"I'd expect them to do the same."

"Walking up to someone's door and ringing the bell is not trespassing."

"If you're asked to leave, you should obviously do so immediately, and you shouldn't walk over their garden or anything."

"But walking up a path to knock on the door of your next-door neighbor is totally normal behavior."

"In the United Kingdom, police would tell you to stop wasting their time if you reported a neighbor for picking up their own package from your porch."

"I don't know what American police would say though."

"The whole situation is toxic, which is why OP escalated immediately."  ~ BigBunnyButt

"YTA, huge time."

"I can't believe you called the cops after he showed you his name and address on the package."

"What did you think the cops were going to do once they saw the package had his name?"

"Why do you waste the police's and everyone else's time?"

"Do you not have any work to do?"

"He's right. Stop running to the police. They aren't your Mommy."  ~ unpopularcryptonite

"Don't forget to mention that it's illegal to use police the way that they've been doing."

"What if there was an actual crime being committed and police couldn't attend because they were dealing with OP?"

"I'm pretty sure police can arrest people for nuisance calls like this."

"Also, for parties, isn't there a time limit with some countries?"

"Like in Australia, anything after 11 pm is a no-no, but until then it's free for all. Op YTA."

"I'd hate to have a neighbor like you."

"You'd probably call child services on a crying baby because it's disturbing you." ~ FickleInteraction980

"YTA. Even with the tree, my foot would be down on not paying."

"What would be the 10%? the branches that overhang the property line? or part of a root?"

"The tree wasn't planted on OP's property, so shall bare no responsibility towards it."

"However, my family had to go 50% on a fence rebuild cause, even though it was on their property, it was considered 'communal' as it ran the length of the property line."

"If anything with the cops called on the last instance, they were technically trespassing."

"Doesn't matter if the mail was delivered to the wrong address, they still had to go onto someone else's property to retrieve it."

"OP had also got a notification that packages were left and believed it was his cat's medication."  ~ RageTiger

"YTA- in soooo many ways."

"You know in my neighborhood, when something happens, I talk to my neighbors before I do anything else."

"And you know what has never happened?"

"I've never had an issue where I've had to call the police."

"You are seriously an awful neighbor."

"I get not necessarily wanting to pitch in on the fence, but the way you handle, everything else is rude and confrontational."

"All the problems that are occurring are stemming from you, not your neighbors."

'I actually feel sorry for them. I feel like they would probably be the type of people writing on the Neighbors from Hell sub in Reddit about you based on the things you have listed above."

"Honestly, become a human and start talking to them versus escalating it, especially since it was their package."  ~ Roadgoddess

Well, OP, sounds like Reddit has a few issues with your actions.

No doubt, you are in a difficult living situation.

But in order to calm things down a bit, you may not want to be so drastic.

Maybe y'all could try a nice dinner together and talk it all out.

Good luck.

Kids and weddings.

That can be a dangerous combination.

So many weddings these days are keeping children off the guest list.

That can cause some problems with guests that are parents.

But then sometimes it may look like a good idea.

Case in point...

Redditor NoWeddingCake wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

"AITA for making a kid leave my wedding?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"After a long a** wedding day we hit the reception."

"Things are fine until my hubby's cousin Anna's kid started making a fuss about cake."

"Like screaming and just a huge meltdown (autistic) over not having ice cream with his cake."

"Like screaming."

"Throwing himself on the middle of the dance floor kicking his feet and he's offered several sliced of the cake only to throw them."

"The floor is a sticky mess."

"I was planning on doing the father/daughter dance right after this."

"I'm almost in tears at this point and thank God my sister and M[aid] O[f] H[onor] and my mother had enough of this and told Anna and her son they needed to go."

"Anna and her son refused to leave and the boy started acting worse to where my sister gets pissed off and told her to leave or the police will be called."

"That's not an empty threat from my sis because her F[ather] I[n] L[aw] is a cop."

"Anna leaves but we are now like an hour behind schedule because of a meltdown over ice cream."

"I'm not feeling any of it and leave without the rest of the dances."

"The DJ plays for his schedule time but no one is feeling it after the kid's meltdown."

"New hubby gets a call on our honeymoon and his family (grandma, aunt, cousins) now want all of the wedding gifts back because my family decided to bully an autistic child who was allowed to throw a fit in the middle of the dance floor for an hour."

"So AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA... and as an autistic person I feel STRONGLY about this."

"The kid didn't have a meltdown because of ice cream it was the thing that broke the camel's back bc a wedding is almost guaranteed to cause over stimulation which leads more often than not into a meltdown."

"How the parent didn't recognise this or even seem to think about how it could be a possibility- and then refusing to leave basically keeping your child in a very vulnerable state in front of a whole a** wedding party genuinely makes me angry.

"Either way, you handled it the best you could, definitely NTA."  ~ Sieepsaand

"Exactly! I remember getting overstimulated and feeling guilt over 'ruining everyone's time' instead of enjoying the occasion like everyone else."

"So many occasions where I would've rather gone home, but my parent(s) didn't want to leave and no one had a good time." ~ SnorkelBerry

"I'm a whole a** neurotypical adult, and take myself away when I have had enough at a family gathering, holiday gathering or large group."

"I isolate and read for a while, take a walk, etc."

"I am just not fond of loud, noisy and sometimes drunken crowds."

"OP is not the jerk for being both disappointed and disgusted with the kid's mom, and should not return the gifts, they came for the show - and got one." ~ BefuddledPolydactyls

"Meltdowns are awful."

"I've described it before as being a lot like throwing up-- you don't WANT to do it in the first place."

"If it happens you've probably been feeling awful for a while leading up to the event, and if you HAVE to, the last thing you want is to do it in public where everyone has to see you going through the worst and most disruptive thing you could go through."

"That said, agreeing that OP is very much NTA-- Anna should have been looking out for her kid."

"Not only did she fail to get him away before he hit an overload, she couldn't even remove him to a safe/quiet place once it happened."

"She made her child's suffering a public spectacle, which can be traumatizing."

"To this DAY I can remember times I had meltdowns where I couldn't get somewhere safe or private." ~ Confident_Tourist580

"This! All family events have an escape plan for my son to 'hide' in."

"He doesn't need to ask or anything. When he's overwhelmed and overstimulated, he can just find his quiet spot - away from everything and everyone - and collect himself."

"We have had to decompress in interesting areas over the years (empty store aisles, random airport spots, etc)."

"The point is that, as a parent, you figure it out."

"My son is still a kid."

"My job is to help him learn to manage his emotions and finding healthy ways to cope."

"She's doing her kid no favors."

"And you are a saint for putting up with it for an hour." ~ Ok-Mode-2038

"I work with special needs kids and a kid who's having a whole public meltdown is not a kid who can handle the large sensory and social demands of a wedding."

"That's a kid that would be much happier at a bare minimum sitting outside in the quiet until they've calmed back down if not just staying home in the first place."

'I'm a whole adult and even I need to take breaks from big social events like this."

"That poor kid must have been miserable for who knows how many hours."

'The mom made this so much worse." ~ littlestgoldfish

"As an autistic adult with autistic kids I can say with certainty that this was a case of overstimulation building through the day and the ice cream being the thing that just tipped things."

"I'm so sorry your wedding day was blighted but the parent of the child is the one at fault here. NTA."  ~ Commercial_Ask_4828

"The only person 'bullying' an autistic child was the mother of the child."

"Getting the poor kid out of the overstimulating environment was the best thing that could have happened and is what the mother should have done before the kid went into full meltdown."

"And then keeping him in the overstimulating environment and making it worse by shoving food in his face and talking at him for over an hour?"

"What in the world was that mother thinking?!" ~ Kr_Treefrog2

"I feel like this shows how terrible the mom is, not the child."

"Seeing replies like yours opens my eyes to many things."

"I have a child with A[ttention] d[eficit] h[yperactivity] d[isorder] and possibly on the spectrum (she's getting evaluated soon)."

'She's my middle, and I know her very well. I know her moods, I watch her."

"I see when she's getting upset and talk to her."

"My husband tells me all the time that I'm so quick to pick up on how she's feeling, but it's not hard if you spend time with your child."

"I have no clue how the mom couldn't have seen the meltdown coming."

"Sometimes I feel upset, wondering if I'm doing enough or if I'm a good enough parent - but then I see stuff like this and think that while I'm not perfect, I'm also not oblivious."

"And I'm trying." ~ TraditionalPayment20

"The parents knew as SOON as the kid started, probably before, that the signs were there that the child was over stimulated."

"So, instead of making their escape, they stayed and subjected EVERYONE to that? Nope."

"Not cool."

"I am the Mom of an Autistic child, and look, there were times where I had to have him with me and we just 'couldn't leave.'"

"But... that didn't mean I had to subject everyone to him having a melt down."

"I picked him up, hitting and kicking me, carried his a** out the door, and we walked away and out of ear shot."

"If that meant I was away from everyone for an hour, so be it."

"I didn't go back till he was calm and I was calm. If he started again on the way back, we went right back to where we had been."

"If I needed to leave the place and go home, I did (if that was an option)."

"Trust me, there were plenty of times I left my grocery cart half full of stuff and had tears in my eyes as I looked at the employees and apologized profusely as I hauled my red faced screaming child out of the store."

"Not once did anyone shame me, and sometimes I would ask them to hold the cart for me."

"Restaurants too. If I had to pay, I would leave my credit card with the waiter and tell them I would be right back and just ring up the bill. NTA." ~ jjrobinson73

"Send all their s**t back and block them everywhere for ever."

"They have demonstrated by their actions they care nothing for you and hubby."

"Mom should certainly understand her kids needs, special or otherwise, and be prepared to deal with them whenever out in public."

"No way should he have been left to continue his melt down at your event."

"Take him to the car or their room for him to finish his meltdown."

"He could always have come back after (don't know correct terminology for autism) he stabilizes and returns to acceptable behavior. NTA." ~ Bigbore_4

Well, OP, Reddit is with you and the hubby.

Taking back a wedding gift after this meltdown seems to be in bad taste.

Sounds like a big family chat is on the horizon, though.

Good luck and congrats!

When religion is forced upon someone, it is seldom, if ever, effective.

This can cause strife in a family, however, when one member finds that they don't connect to or believe in the religion which they have practiced for years.

Such was the case for Redditor HelpedABrotherOutTA, who found that they were not a good fit for their family's religion of choice.

Even so, the original poster (OP)'s family made every effort to lure them back, even sending volunteers from their church to try and convince them.

Their efforts ended up backfiring badly, however, resulting in the OP's uncle being fired from their position at the church.

Worried they might have been responsible for their uncles' dismissal, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors.

"AITA for getting my uncle in trouble and causing him to lose money?"

The OP shared how not only did their family's efforts to get him back to church fail but inadvertently cost the OP's uncle his job.

"I left my church recently, and my dad keeps sending church members to my house to 'save' me."

"Recently a pair of church volunteers came over to talk with me."

"They offered assistance with anything I might need."

"I had them help around my farm while we talked."

"We talked about where they are from, (they're volunteering for 2 years from out of the country) what they plan on doing when they get home, how my life's going, and why I stopped believing."

"The next week one of them called and said they weren't sure if they believed when they left the country, and after our talk, they realized they didn't believe and wanted to return home."

"The problem was that their volunteer coordinator was holding on to their important documents so they wouldn't get misplaced, and one of those things were his passport."

"The coordinator said he would only give it back after his 2 years were finished."

"He asked if I could get it back for him since the coordinator is my uncle."

"I spoke to my uncle, and he said he knew I was the one who corrupted him and basically told me to kick rocks."

"I told him I would call the police on him if he didn't give him back the passport and he said I didn't have the balls."

"So I called the police, and they redirected me to the Australian embassy."

"My uncle was fined quite a hefty amount and told him he had 3 days to return the passport or they would start the process to charge him with human trafficking."

"Word got around his church, and now he's been released from his paid coordinator position."

'My family are saying I went too far and that they knew he would have given the volunteer his documents back."

"That he has too many physical problems to get another job and I shouldn't have said anything."

"I'm starting to think maybe I did the wrong thing and should've tried other avenues before going straight to the police."

"AITA?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was NOT the a**hole for calling the police on their uncle.

Everyone agreed that what the OP's uncle did was illegal, that they did the absolute right thing by calling the police, and that the OP's uncle had no one to blame but himself for losing his job.

"NTA."

"Not all heroes have capes, and, you, sir, are a hero."

"If your uncle could not get another job, then he should not have been breaking the law by illegally keeping that person's documents."

"Your uncle's predicament is not your fault - it's his, 100%."

"And you saved those who he was victimizing."- bamf1701

"NTA."

"By holding onto the volunteer's passport, your uncle was human trafficking/engaging in modern-day slavery."

"Thank you for helping the volunteer out and effectively setting him free."- Delicious_Wish8712

"NTA."

"All day, every way."

"You were right to call him out for an illegal act."

"The passports are property of the issuing nation, so it was wrong for your uncle to hold them."

"Case closed."- Parking-Fix-8143

"NTA!"

"That church/cult is basically setting up an indentured servitude situation for 'missionaries'."

"They are not above the law."- PurpleGreyPunk

"NTA AT ALL and congratulations for getting out of whatever religious movement this is."

"Whether it is Scientology, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, or anything else, this is trafficking, and a well-documented abusive cult tactic used to keep members in line."

"You should be so proud of yourself."

"Side note - I'm an avid scholar of New Religious Movements and cults and if you are ever interested, I can provide you with a ton of resources to read, watch, engage with, and/or seek help from."

"You are not alone."- Alloddscanteven

"NTA."

"He literally kidnapped someone and then dared you to call the police."- Rando_R_Random_IV

"Yep, I used to work on transnational crime issues, and withholding travel documents is a classic technique deployed by human traffickers and exploiters of migrant labor."

"Your uncle deserved what he got; glad the Church actually did the right thing and fired him instead of just tut-tutting piously."

"Absolutely NTA."- marvel_nut

"NTA at all you did the right thing no one has the right to basically hold someone prisoner you saved them from not only the church but from being stuck where they didn't want to be you absolutely did the right thing."

"Thank you."- qtd267

"NTA."

"You simply can't force somebody to work/volunteer against their will."

"Your uncle f**ked around, and found out."

"You have nothing to feel bad about, I would say quite the opposite."- DankDankmark

"NTA."

"I think you absolutely did the right thing; you're a good human - opposite of an a**hole in fact."

"Your family is saying they knew your uncle would give the volunteer his documents back, but why did your uncle have them in the first place?"

"Glad he got punished!"- TheMadHatterOnTea

"NTA."

"Anyone supporting human trafficking is beyond AHs."

"They are criminals and should all be reported."- MidniteProph

"NTA."

"He made his bed and he made his choices."

"You held him accountable."

"Okay stupid games win stupid prizes."- Overall_Guess_8250

"Nope, your uncle fk'd around and found out the hard way."

"NTA."

"He was basically holding the passport hostage and as an extension a human hostage."

"No one should have their human rights taken away (in this case the freedom to return home)."-MyFriendsCallMeEpic

"I'm no law expert, but I'm pretty sure keeping someone's passport so they can't get away and they have to do what you say is absolutely human trafficking."

"Thank you for speaking up."- ISwearIUsedToBeSmart

"Sorry, was this a church or a cult?"

"Not sure from your description."

"You are not at fault here."

"People cannot hold passports hostage in the name of Dog. (dyslexia)."

"You gave him the chance to right the wrong, and instead he doubled down. Reap what you sow, right?"

"That sounds familiar, almost as if I'd read it somewhere."

"NTA."- motorwolfe

"NTA."

"You tried asking for the documents, and he illegally refused."

"The next avenue was contacting the authorities."- ParsimoniousSalad

"Definitely NTA."

"Many mission presidents have ruined lives by refusing to return passports."

"You did the right thing."- IcyIssue

"NTA."

"Wow, your uncle really blew it."

"The only reason he was in trouble was due to his actions."- wind-river7

"NTA."

"Don't do illegal things and you won't have to face the consequences for dubious activities."-bitch_is_cray_cray

"NTA, so many churches (cults) believe they're above the laws, and it was straight up abusive for him to withhold that person's passport, not to mention, theft."

"You're a g*ddamned hero."- uuuumno

"Congratulations on leaving the church."

"I left the church over 40 years ago and have never looked back."- Funny_Badger_6931

"NTA."

"Thank you."

"Thank you so much for doing this."

"What your uncle was doing was illegal and immoral, and the fact that this isn't uncommon just makes me sick."- DamnIGottaJustSay

"NTA."

"Your Uncle, and the Church, we're basically holding people hostage!"

"You 100% did the right thing."

"Hopefully the Australian Govt keeps a nice eye on this 'Church'."- LetsGetsThisPartyOn

"NTA."

"He was literally holding that passport at ransom for 'volunteer' work."

"It's pretty cut and dry, legally and morally."

"Your family are the AHs for excusing this behavior."

"Really, I would have done the same thing."

"He's old enough to know right from wrong, as well as the law."- Ok-Writer-774

One can't help but wonder how no one at this church didn't stop to consider if sending a volunteer who seemed to be pretty clearly in doubt was the best way of bringing the OP back.

If anything, they may have succeeded in more people leaving this church as the story continues to get out.

Human trafficking is not exactly a way to bring more people in.

The last year has seen my family start a small garden in our front lawn.

We have cuca melons and tomatoes, basil and thyme.

The work we've put into the little patch of dirt is a point of pride for us and we enjoy every piece of food or spice we pull from the ground.

So what if someone decided to help themselves to your hard-grown food.

How would you react to that sort of violation?

That was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) AITAGreenHouse when he came to the "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for judgment.

He asked:

"AITA for refusing to let a woman take for from my green house and pressing charges"

First, OP set the stage.

"I (30 Male) live in a nice little neighborhood, everyone knows everybody, we all have our own space and many have flower gardens."

"I have a green house in my backyard that is visible from the street and behind a four-foot picket fence."

"We got a new neighbor, haven't had the chance to meet them until today."

Everything was fine, until...

"I have a camera in my yard that notified me of movement near the greenhouse so I went and checked and that's when I found a lady and young teen picking tomatoes and peppers in my green house."

"I raised my voice and asked what on earth they were doing and the woman says it's fine she's friends with the owner."

"I asked if she wants to run that by me again cause in the owner and I don't know who the hell they are."

"When she realized she was caught she tried to leave with a bag full of vegetables, I told her she isn't leaving with that food and she has two minutes to drop it and leave or I'm pressing charges."

"She starts crying that she's trying to feed her child and needs it and that she can't afford this on her record but I didn't feel like rewarding a theft and took the food from her and called the cops."

"She's telling everyone im an a**hole and a toxic man and though most are telling her she's in the wrong, her friends on facebook are telling me I'm an a**hole and should be ashamed."

OP was left to wonder,

"AITA?"

Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for judgment.

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided: NTA

Some pointed out that the theft was premeditated.

"NTA - she stole from you. She should have talked with you beforehand."

"The fact that she has the lie "I know the owner" ready to go makes me think she's used to stealing." ~ Swegh_

"This, NTA."

"Clearly she thought she could get away with this by stating 'I know the owner' when she in fact, did not."

"She lied, tried to steal, and overall that whole 'afford to feed my kids!' is likely a lie as well to try and gain sympathy, make your FB private, f*ck her 'friends' and get a lock for your greenhouse."

"It may be made of glass but the damned door should have a latch for a lock."

"If she breaks it to try and get food, well, cameras are wonderful and I'm glad you have them!" ~ WolfPetter42

Others had personal stories.

"We had this going on in my neighborhood a few years back."

"These two middle aged women would make the rounds of backyard gardens and help themselves (during the day when most people were working)."

"When caught they'd babble in another language and pretend they didn't know English."

"Finally, after other methods failed to stop them the police were called as the victims knew where they lived."

"Two visits later from the police they finally stopped. We called it 'The Case of the Purloined Produce.' NTA" ~ MidwestNormal

"There's some lady here that keeps stealing someone's lemons."

"No, I'm not referencing that thing though I have been seriously tempted to make that joke."

"She's done it multiple times and these people have cameras and have posted her picture."

"Pretty bold!"

"Oh and NTA for sure. maybe if you don't want theft on your record, don't steal?" ~ wildflowers

"That reminds me of my mum, growing a beautiful solitary poppy in our front yard, and looking forward to harvesting the seeds once the flower was finished."

"Just to have someone steal the whole flower and seed pod. She thinks it was the bus driver who goes by our house but I'm not sure. Shame either way." ~ Paroxysm111

"I have this issue with my herb & flower gardens."

"The college aged kids up the road in student housing waltz by & help themselves."

"They tried a couple times after I moved the planters to my backyard, but I guess they didn't fancy the risk of being attacked by my lab/great dane mix who looks imposing or my daughter's chao demon who takes the form of a stocky rat terrier."

"The big one is a marshmallow but the small one would rip off their limbs."

"NTA this is theft, plain & simple."

"If she didn't want charges or a record, she shouldn't have broken into your yard & greenhouse & stolen your property."

"If you hadn't involved the police & served up some consequences for her actions, lord knows what else she'd have stolen from neighbors." ~ OpossumJesusHasRisen

Commenters came with lists.

"Oh so she went out of her way to get others to harass you about this and left a paper trail?"

"If I were you OP id get the ball rolling for"

"Harassment"

"Theft"

"Tresspassing"

"Breaking and entering"

"Vandalism"

"She can run the waterworks all she likes."

"Gotta stamp this crap out now Im surprised you let her leave without calling the cops before going into the greenhouse."

"Let her friends harass you and dig her own grave. Id file a police report about the incident and hit her with the book."

"People like this drive me insane. Like what?! Just appearing in a room in someones home you own is NOT okay. Neighboor or not she sounds like a piece of work." ~ [deleted]

"Nta."

"First of all, it is your own greenhouse and you can do with it as you please and besides, theft is kinda theft."

"Second of all, I feel that the whole 'I am trying to feed my child' argument is just an excuse because if she was truly in a bad position she wouldnt have done the whole 'I am friends with the owner, dont mind me' spiel."

"She is now playing the victim card to everyone that will listen, so dont worry too much about it since they dont know your side of the story as well." ~ FluffSheeple

For many, it just came down to theft being a crime.

"Someone tries to steal from you and you're wondering if YOU are the A?"

"Uh, no. Just the opposite."

"The only reason I have anything in my yard beyond grass and pavers is because people tend to notify police about trespassers and thieves."

"Other neighborhoods in my city are having problems with anything like flowers, fruit, lawn furniture, etc., being stolen within days, if not hours."

"So, I would be delighted to have someone who did what you did as a neighbor."

"The thief could have easily avoided the issue by keeping her hands off things that did not belong to her. Not to mention, what a crappy mother, teaching her kid to steal."

"That said, of course her friends on Facebook are telling you that you're the asshole."

"Birds of a feather flock together, and all that. If they're so concerned, why don't THEY give her some food?" ~ ReflectingPond

"Nta."

"She's straight up a thief and tried to steal your food."

"If she needed it that badly she should have asked you first, then gone and picked up some with your permission."

"It wasn't hers."

"She didn't grow it and it wasn't in a community garden where that behavior is encouraged. You can't help yourself to your neighbors veggies and expect to not face legal consequences."

"She's lucky she wasn't shot in this day and age."

"You had full right to call the cops on her."

"Maybe she'll learn to stop stealing ad go to a good pantry the legal way like everyone else or apply for snap benefits to get food legally." ~ depressivedarkling

Though, not everyone felt that OP was in the clear.

"ESH, especially the other people commenting She was definitely wrong for not just asking you and then lying to you about it."

"However, it is a pandemic and like you said, you don't know her, therefore you don't know her situation."

"It is very possible that she cannot afford to feed her child and this was her only way to get fresh produce."

"I feel like you should have a conversation with her, especially now that it's not the heat of the moment, and explain to her that you're not OK with her behavior."

"Or if you do care to help her, that she at least has to ask."

"But knowingly sending somebody to jail or possibly prison for just trying to get some food is cruel to me, especially when we are in the economic situation that we are now."

"Also, getting the police involved is not going to get you your fresh produce back. All this is going to do is, at minimum, potentially leave a child without a parent." ~ Cafesinleche95

OP did return with some final thoughts.

"Edited for information:"

"When she was offered the chance to leave without police involvement she screamed at me and broke a pot that had some chives growing."

"I don't have her on facebook."

"However my name is on my mailbox and have since put my account to private."

"If she had asked first, by all means I would have given her a couple peppers, tomatoes even some squash, but she didn't."

Sometimes, the difference between a crime and a favor is a question.

The OP above even says that had the thief simply asked for some food he'd have happily parted with some of his hard-grown veggies.

Whether she actually needed help or just wanted free food is anyone's guess, but always remember to be direct with your needs, you'd be surprised how many people are eager to help.