Hosting extended family during the holidays is hard enough when everything goes exactly according to plan.
But when new variables out of left field are thrown into the mix, it can all begin to seem like too much to handle.
One Redditor has encountered that this year. She discussed her recent dilemma in a post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP), known as cecimagna on the site, led with a rather provocative title.
“AITA for telling my sister in law that she cant sleep at my house for thanksgiving if she’s on her period?”
OP kicked things off bluntly.
“My sister in law invited herself to my home to stay for Thanksgiving but I don’t want her sleeping at my home if she’s on her period.”
At first that may seem like a strict approach. But OP went on.
“A few times in the past she has come to my home and stayed while she has been on her period. Both times she slept in our guest room and ruined our sheets and mattress pads.”
“It looked like a massacre.”
And that wasn’t all.
“To make matters worse she didn’t tell us, we had to find the disgusting sheets in our laundry and find the blood stains on the mattress pad.”
“Not only that she has left tampons wrappers and bloody tampons in the toilet without flushing and blood on the toilet and inside of the toilet seat.”
OP tried to lean on her partner.
“I told my husband to say something to his sister, but he was too embarrassed to say anything.”
“I figured I wouldn’t say anything because she was moving out of the country and l didn’t expect her to visit anymore.”
Then came a surprise.
“Well she just informed us that she’s coming for Thanksgiving and I informed her that I don’t want her sleeping over if she’s on her period because the last few times she left a nasty mess while on her period and It was disgusting.”
OP’s sister-in-law was locked and loaded with a rebuttal.
“She cursed me out and called me a rude B*tch and said that’s why no one in her family likes me they only tolerate me because I’m married to her brother.”
“I told her that’s fine, and Im not tolerating a grown woman staying in my home that cant control and clean up after herself while on her period.”
OP closed with some reflection.
“I understand having heavy periods but to leave a mess for everyone to see and to clean up is absolutely disgusting.”
“Should I just kept quiet or am aita for telling her she can’t come if she’s on her period.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors told OP she hadn’t been an a**hole.
For them, there was a clear distinction between what is and is not shameful.
“NTA. I have periods from hell, to the point where I’ve had to clean the shower after showering. Leaks happen, but if I ruined sheets and mattress pads, I would ask for garbage bags, clean up myself, and replace them.”
“The not disposing of tampons is super gross and unsanitary. That’s not an accident, that’s chosen behavior and you have every right to not want her there.”
“12 year olds who’ve just started their periods can understand wiping up and properly disposing of products. So there’s no reason a grown woman can’t.” — TinyRascalSaurus
“NTA. As someone who has struggled with heavy periods their whole life, your SIL has no excuse. It is difficult to manage heavy periods but with some precautions situations like this can be avoided.”
“I got blood on the sheets in my grandma’s guest bed one night and guess what? I stripped the bed and cleaned them because while it was an accident, it was still my mess.” — gloomyghosts
“NTA – as someone who had heavy periods I always took care to check the toilet area to make sure I didn’t leave any blood. I’ve been teaching my daughters the same thing.”
“It is common courtesy to clean up after yourself when you are a guest. You also don’t invite yourself to stay at someone’s house, you wait for an invite.” — PurpleBugBull
“As a person who wakes up once a month looking like i murdered a horse in my bed i cannot at all understand your SIL. i wouldnt even do that to my own bedding let alone someone else’s.”
“Like i wouldve been in the laundry room pretreating and scrubbing as soon as i woke up and if i couldnt get everything spotless id order replacements for everything straight away.”
“Your husband not stepping up to talk to his sister about it is ridiculous but unfortunately not unexpected or surprising.”
“Also. She just invited herself?? What. NTA” — Tiffany_Case
In fact, many were surprised by the moral rollercoaster they’d just been through.
“NTA that’s just gross. I was all ready to jump your a** but I don’t blame you one little bit. It’s unsanitary and rude for her to do that.” — brainfreeze4445
“I was totally prepared to say TA before I read this, but NTA. That’s really gross. I wouldn’t want to deal with that mess either.” — Lola_M1224
“Whoa… this post did not go the way I thought it was going to go. NTA!”
“Yes accidents can happen, but there is an appropriate way to deal with them. But clearly these aren’t accidents. just your SIL being rude, and refusing to clean up after herself.”
“As a compromise, buy a plastic mattress cover, and tell her she has to bring her own sheets and blankets. LOL”
“But definitely NTA, she is Houseguest from Hell.” — Sassy_1109
And a few took the chance to make a quick public service announcement.
“NTA but can I please point out you should not be putting tampons down the toilet. Wrap them in tissue paper and put them in the bin!” — Anewstageinlife
“NTA, That is fu**ing disgusting”
” ‘Not only that she has left tampons wrappers and bloody tampons in the toilet without flushing and blood on the toilet and inside of the toilet seat.’ “
“Why the fu** does she put tampons in the toilet?” — Odd_Meet_8632
Looks like OP’s sister-in-law will have to get used to cleaning up after herself if she has any interest in spending the holiday with family.