As the saying goes, “honesty is the best policy,” but sometimes it can do nothing but stir up drama.
A woman on Reddit found herself in this situation when she offended her friend with a brutally honest appraisal of her job. She wasn’t sure about how she’d handled it, so she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for input.
The Original Poster (OP) ended up deleting her post. But in it, she asked:
“AITA for telling my friend that it would be a huge step down for me if I were to get a job with her?”
“Me – 27f[emale] Friend – 28f”
“I’ve graduated university with my bachelors degree, and recieved multiple awards for my academic achievments during my honors. I’ve already been in my career field since early on in my studies and have since worked my way up. I am also considering applying for a PhD.”
“My contract at my previous job was terminated and I have been out of work since – about 9 months. I’ve been surviving off my savings but obviously those are dwindling. I’ve been knocked back so many times for work and I’m frustrated. The job market here is not very good at all.”
“My friend is studying a similar field to what I did but not quite. Some of her topics are relevant to my degree but overall it is different. She only began studying recently and accepted a job – the same job I began working in early on in uni (my first job in the field). She talks about it a lot and says she loves it which is great. I’m happy for her.”
“The other day she asked if I’d consider applying to her organisation. I appreciated the thought but told her that it would be a huge step down in my career, and that it would be just like starting all over again.”
“She then mentioned that I could apply for the same job, but through a government organisation that allows for more growth, as they are always understaffed due to the growing amount of clients and I would almost definitely get the job. I again told her no, that it would still be a huge hit for me and that it was basically entry level stuff. I’m way over qualified for it.”
“Turns out that she’s offended by what I said and went to our other friends, one of which told me I was crazy for basically knocking back a guaranteed job that offers $45/hr. But at all my other jobs I’ve had other than this entry level one, I’ve been earning between $50-55/hr. It feels insulting to me but I’ve been called stuck up for turning it down.”
OP came back later to add a bit more information.
“Edit: Apparently I need to mention this but IT IS NOT A SALARY POSITION!!!! It’s a casual contract so yeah, it is a step down from the 9-5.”
People on Reddit were then asked to evaluate who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And OP’s fellow Redditors were emphatically NOT on her side.
“You’re out of work for 9 months and your friend is offering to help you find employment in a role that’s adjacent to yours, where you can have an income while you continue to look for better work, and you turn it down … because you think you’re too good for it?”
“That attitude isn’t going to serve you well in the long run.” —octopi-hi
“…Most of the time you change jobs unwillingly like that, it’s going to be a lateral or slightly downward move. The idea is to make sure that they have a higher ceiling, which this job sounds like it does, and if OP is so amazing, she’d move up within a couple of years.”
“Definitely YTA.” —DifficultMinute
“Yeah op is TA.”
“My best friend just did something similar to op and ended up sabotaging a position I was about to be promoted to. It’s not even a high paying position, and I tried to get her into a company my brother works for with starting wages at 20/hr, paid overtime, health and dental insurance, yearly raises, 40hr/week and a monthly gym membership. She was well qualified and refused to even come with me to apply because she’s too good for manufacturing.”
“Even if this is a 45/hr contractual job, that’s miles better than nothing, and you can always look for permanent positions while you work! There are people who would love this position and op is choosing to put it down because of it being ‘a step down’.” —moonsugarmints
“I was out of work for 3 months when the hospital I worked for closed. I took the first job I was offered working 3 to midnight for $5 an hour less than I was making and was glad for it. I’d have gone back to retail making less than that if I’d had to. I had bills to pay and an infant at home.”
“YTA op.” —low-jellyfish1621
“YTA. A) You’ve been out of work for 9 months. B) Your friend was kind to offer to help you with this. C) What if in another 9 months from now, you still don’t have a job? Think you’ll crawl back to your friend and try to get her to help you get a job?”
“For someone so smart, you CERTAINLY know how to burn some bridges…” —crystallz2000
Suffice to say OP wasn’t particularly happy with her fellow Redditors’ feedback. Before deleting her post entirely, she added one more pointedly worded update.
“Edit: Can none of you read? I’m not saying it’s a step down from unemployment. It’s a step down from my previous experience and qualifications because I AM HIGHLY EXPERIENCED. I won academic excellence awards for God sake, why would I take a job that requires barely any formal training? It would just mean I did all that extra study for nothing.”
Hopefully OP can learn from this bit of feedback after she cools down a bit.