Knowing someone with a terminal illness is devastating news.
Redditor TAstressedout is a 27-year-old male whose girlfriend of the same age was emotionally distressed over a tragic diagnosis in her family.
Drama ensued when the Original Poster (OP) found her reaction to being unpleasant and confronted her about it.
He visited the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for telling my girlfriend she needs to get a job while her sister is dying?”
The OP wrote:
“My girlfriend Sarah’s sister (40 F[emale]) who she is really close to is dying. They found cancer and it is terminal and aggressive so she has 4 years max but more likely one or two years.”
“The news is extremely shocking and upsetting for me but it’s way worse for my girlfriend obviously.”
“She has not been working because she is doing a course and is only missing a few assignments. She sat me down and said that she was going to drop out and spend time with her sister.”
“I told her I thought spending time with her sister was a great idea but she needed to finish the course in the meanwhile and then I could support both of us for few more months instead of her getting a job right away (I make decent money) and she could spend that time with her sister.”
“Sarah got extremely upset and said that I was a materialistic person who just didn’t care or understood how upset she is and that she will not finish her course or get a job at any stage before her sister passes away.”
“I said I’d help her out and that she didn’t need to hand in perfect assignments, just the bare minimum to pass the course. I said she could even move in with her sister short term (sister lives alone and is divorced) if she wants and come home at the weekend.”
“Sarah’s plan of not working for the foreseeable future is dependent on me working a super stressful job with long hours and supporting her mentally and monetarily until her sister’s death and potentially beyond.”
“I’ve already been doing this over a year at this stage and I was aiming to move to a non managerial and less paid but less stressful job mid year because the stress is physically harming me (cannot sleep, hair falling out in chunks which is apparently unrelated to age, panic attacks) but I cannot do that if I am the only one working.”
“I was also trying to save my Christmas bonus but she keeps showing me clothes she wants and saying ‘my life is so upsetting, why can’t I have these pretty clothes?’ so I will buy them for her.
“I am trying to be understanding because I know she must be devastated but I also need to have an idea of when she will get a job again. Last night I sat her down and told her she needs to get a job, even just part time, by the end of the summer (course is finished in a few weeks) because I need to move to a less stressful job.”
“She said my work stress cannot compare to the stress of a loved one dying and that I am just being dramatic.”
“She also told me she’s planning a really expensive trip for whenever travel goes back to normal to blow off steam but she has no savings so I am expected to pay for the whole trip.”
“I told a few people and they said I was being dramatic and a few more years of the high stress job will not kill me, but other friends said that my gf’s demands are ridiculous and that she was not planning to work even before this.”
“AITA for telling my girlfriend she needs to get a job by the end of the summer while her sister is dying?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors sided with the OP as not the a**hole in the situation.
