For many of us, the death of a pet is as devastating as the death of person we loved, and it can make us act out with our loved ones.
A woman on Reddit found herself in this situation when her boyfriend lost it after finding out she gave his dying dog a tiny bit of chocolate–which is toxic to dogs in large amounts–just as he was passing away.
She wasn’t sure what to think about all of this, so she went to the AITA subReddit for perspective.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by NecessaryYou3440 on the site, asked:
“AITA for feeding our dying dog chocolate?”
She explained:
“I 25f[emale] lived with my boyfriend 28m[ale] for 3 years. He had his dog Josuke for 11 years and he recently passed away.”
“We found out he had a brain tumor that had already progressed past help. He wasn’t doing so well and had about a week left. I saw Monday morning he was super weak and could barely lift his head or walk really.”
“I took him into our bedroom and texted my boyfriend that Josuke looked like he was getting ready to cross that rainbow bridge. He never responded but I could see that he was getting super lethargic and wasn’t improving at all. I gave him a Hersey’s Kiss and wished him a happy Valentines day and shortly after he passed on within the hour.”
“My boyfriend came home and cried. He asked if Jojo was alone and I told him no and that I gave him a piece of chocolate to say goodbye and he went to sleep in my arms. He blew up on me saying I killed his dog and that I was wrong to give him chocolate when he could’ve still fought and that if he was still eating he still had a chance.”
“I tried to explain that it was only a little and that he was barely functioning as is and that he wouldn’t have died so quickly from ingesting chocolate. He left with Jojo’s body and got him cremated. He’s been silent since and I’m aware that our relationship is likely very much over.”
“I feel so sh*tty and I know he wasn’t my dog but I just wanted him to have it before he went. His friends are saying he’s just heartbroken and looking for someone to blame although a few agree that while he was dying, giving him chocolate probably wasn’t the right thing to do.”
Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And most them were on OP’s side on this one.
“NTA it’s incredibly common to give dogs treats they couldn’t otherwise have when they are dying. It didn’t effect the brain tumour.” –Chronic_Sardonic
“Im really glad you were there for Jojo, OP.”
“Even if your bf continues to misdirect his grief towards you, you showed true kindness to a very sick dog and that says a lot about your character.”
“You sound like a lovely human and Josuke was very lucky you were with him.” –Linkyland
“Important to add, dogs have to invest quite a bit of chocolate for it to actually kill them. A lot. My dog ate an entir.movies sized box of milk duds and the vet just told me what to watch for, but she would be fine. And she was. Not even a loose stool. OP, he’s just sad. Give him space. NTA.” –AlbatrossSenior7107
“Not just dogs. We had a horse who was diabetic and couldn’t have any treats or any form of sugar. He had other health issues, and it ended up being just too much. He was in a lot of pain.”
“So we scheduled a date to put him down, and the vet told us we could give him as many apples and carrots as we wanted for a whole 3 days before he had to be put down. I’d never seen him so happy.” –NightsWolf
“Yep. You did nothing wrong. When my gal Mabel was in the last stages of life, she got tuna treats, even though she hadn’t been allowed tuna in quite a while because of her illness. It was her very favorite thing, and I hope the crack of that can brought a little joy to her last hours. I know it didn’t kill her.”
“NTA op. Thanks for giving doggums some love and companionship. I’m so glad he wasn’t alone.” –PyrexPizazz217
“The animal rescue I volunteered at had a tradition of giving dogs about to cross the rainbow bridge a piece of chocolate cake before they passed. Then the staff and volunteers would share the rest of the cake and be sad together for a little bit to mark the passing. It was a nice little ritual.” –seanchaigirl
“We gave my 13 year old dying boxer a MASSIVE chocolate donut smothered in chocolate before we needed to put him down – that the happiest I had seen him in months.”
“It actually gave me a small comfort knowing that in his last moments, he went out with the biggest f****** delicious donut he could’ve hoped to have and was happy to wolf it down.”
“To be clear, no one thought we killed our dog with a giant chocolate donut. He was already dying and had hours left until he’d die naturally” –HungrySuggestion1600
“Not to mention the fact that chocolate affects dogs differently. My dog ate a whole bar of chocolate (accidentally of course) and didn’t even get so much as a tummy ache. So I doubt that it had anything to do with it.” –KTom1634
“As someone who has been to the emergency vet over chocolate issues- it takes 1oz of bakers chocolate per 10lbs of dog to start being lethal. A Hershey kiss isn’t going to hurt a dog, unless it’s very tiny. Maybe upset the stomach, little diarrhea… But not lethal.”
“If you fed it a pound of chocolate chips, that would be problematic, potentially fatal depending on the side of dog. (My 80lb dog ate a whole chocolate cake, didn’t even upset his tummy) One kiss, decent size dog… Your bf is just lashing out. Not to diminish his grief, but hopefully he realizes that you aren’t the cause of it and he apologizes soon.” –EchteEngel
“Me and my 15 1/2 year old pup spent the morning at his favorite park sitting under a tree and people watched, followed by a trip through KFC drive thru. He had spinal tumors and had gotten to the point where he couldn’t stand up, but he could eat some chicken.” –Karen125
“To all the people saying the chocolate might have been an issue. It wasn’t. There is literally a chocolate calculator online to see the effects of different quantities of chocolate and one kiss would do absolutely nothing. NAH. Bf is grieving and needs support. You were kind and loving when pup needed you.”
“Info: dog owner- have had many run ins with the chocolate calculator, never needed a vet yet” –CreepyBag5913
“Vet nurse here. The chocolate calculator is legit, but it’s always a good idea to call your vet for advice. Chocolate is toxic, but it’s dose dependent based on the size of the dog and the type of chocolate. Dark is worse than milk.”
“Josuke was ill. Unless OP gave him several pounds of chocolate, the chocolate did not kill him. The previously diagnosed condition did. The boyfriend is grieving and looking for a reason for his dog’s passing.”
“I’m so sorry for the loss. It sucks.” –NoHospital7649
“My friends black lab ate an entire bowl of Halloween chocolate (fun size packs of M&Ms, Reeces, Milky Way, Kit Kat etc) a couple years ago and the vets biggest concern was all the wrappers, not the chocolate.”
“He ended up being just fine with no extra care or medications, they just had to keep and eye on his bowel movements and wait for all the “confetti” to pass through him. Milk chocolate is not going to be a problem for the most part for dogs, it’s super dark chocolate that can be harmful, and even then I don’t believe it’s as dangerous for them as grapes/raisins are.” –Free-Profile
“Yes, general rule of thumb I heard is 1oz of milk chocolate per 1lb puppy weight is approx tolerance. Besides, when a human’s time is measured in “days/weeks” medical experts have told my family it’s ok to let the person have whatever they want. Why can’t dogs have that same little joy?”
“And I’m sorry, but if a 3+ year relationship is over because OP gave the pup some chocolate, it’s either because there are other reasons or the bf IS an AH.” –psyche1986
After reading her fellow Redditors comments, OP came back with an update on this situation.
“☆A SMALL UPDATE☆”
“He came around in the afternoon and gave me an urn with Jojo’s ashes. He apologized and we cried together. I showed him your guy’s stories and we cried even more. He said he’s happy to know Jojo gets to play with so many puppers and kitties where he is now. And for those asking, Jojo was a 106lb lab mastiff. And he was the goodest boy.”
Hopefully OP and her boyfriend can find a way past this and keep the memory of their dog alive.