Whether or not we want to admit it, social media has become a key feature in most of our lives.
For some of us, it’s even become a primary form of income, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
While Redditor onlyonce00 could respect that social media posting was part of his girlfriend’s lifestyle, he didn’t like having to participate in her content creation.
But when she refused to listen to his boundaries, the Original Poster (OP) began to wonder if she was valuing her followers more than their relationship.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my girlfriend to stop recording dinner because it’s annoying?”
The OP’s girlfriend was very involved in social media content creation and trends.
“My girlfriend (33 Female) and I (26 Male) have been together for about 2 months.”
“My girlfriend is an absolute gym shark and has a pretty good fit as she works out really early in the morning every day. She also records these workouts and posts them on her social media.”
“She has a whopping amount of followers for being a relatively normal person, meaning she’s not a celebrity. About 130K followers to be exact.”
“Most of her videos are usually thirsty guys talking about her body but I bite my tongue because she’s with me.”
“She also records lots of videos with me and takes lots of pictures with me and posts them on her social media too. She loves making dancing videos with me too which I fail horribly.”
But the OP had had enough of being featured in her content.
“We went to a pretty nice restaurant, and she started taking videos and pictures of me and the food. I didn’t mind, but it was getting annoying, so I told her to put her phone up.”
“She said no, and when our entrees got to the table, she started recording live.”
“I told her quietly to turn it off as I didn’t want to be eating in front of people live.”
“She laughed thinking I was joking and I said I was serious. She scoffed and said no.”
“I put her phone with the camera facing down and told her that I didn’t like being recorded while eating and told her it was annoying.”
“She said she didn’t care and told me it was her social media and she can do whatever she wants.”
The OP was done with the conversation.
“I got frustrated and told her that it was annoying and that nobody cares what she was eating.”
“She argued with me that it wasn’t true and showed me how many views she had.”
“I told her it was just a bunch of thirsty guys.”
“She said it wasn’t true and ignored me.”
“She decided to just record herself eating and we went the dinner without talking and she was pretty upset.”
“I think I took it too far, but she was being annoying.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said consent is important in all situations, including social media posting.
“NTA. Sure, it may be just ‘her social media,’ but the relationship belongs to both of you.”
“If she can’t ever be present with you and is instead looking at everything as a potential viral video, that isn’t fair to either of you or the health of the relationship.”
“I’m not usually one for ultimatums, but this situation may just call for one.” – NUT-me-SHELL
“This is weird. I work in marketing, so I 100% understand the role of social media and how powerful it is. That said, consent is important.”
“As a brand manager, I don’t like working with the ‘influencer’ types. It may sound weird, but there is a difference between someone who has a personal brand that is social-media-centric and someone who has turned every moment of their life into ‘content.'”
“The minute someone starts calling themselves an influencer, I know that they have lost the plot.”
“It seems OP’s GF has become the dreaded… ‘influencer type.'” – Electrical-Date-3951
“One of my friends is terrified of her photograph being posted online, so much so that she will only be in photos if I promise not to post them.”
“It’s not a difficult thing to respect someone’s wishes to not be posted.” – jayclaw97
“Sure, I’m guilty of taking food pics at times, too, but I literally just snap one pic and I’m done. Recording throughout the whole meal is incredibly rude and unnecessary, especially when you’re with someone else, and it’s bothering them.” – DIsenchantedUnicorn
“I would be so angry if I ended up in the background of some other diner’s livestream. I don’t even like it when friends take photos of me!” – Without-Reward
“I’ve only ever witnessed one really bad version of this. Starters (appetizers) got snapped from various angles, with flash on. I wasn’t too impressed but thought the novelty might have worn off.”
“But no! Main dishes arrived, more pics, and then a video started to be done, with obviously pre-rehearsed ‘funny’ comments.”
“I’d had enough, and started looking around for our waitress, who thankfully had noticed, and sent the manager over to tell them that they had to stop. Which of course they argued about!” – BeneficialDark1662
“The moment she said she didn’t care that OP doesn’t like to be on camera and she will do whatever she wants made her motivations pretty clear.”
“You should never record someone who isn’t comfortable with it and explicitly told you.” – adityarj_pazuzu
“She has the right to put herself on her social media, but she does not have the right to put you (or the other diners and staff) there without permission. You can report any posts that have you in them as uploaded without your permission.”
“Of course, at two months, the question is whether pursuing a relationship with someone more concerned about social media than you is something you want. NTA.” – cmlobue
Others questioned the quality of the girlfriend’s content if she was eating during a livestream.
“She respects and values her social media followers more than her own SO (significant other). That speaks volumes.”
“And she just sounds so, so immature… nobody wants to watch a livestream of you eating dinner. This whole trend of people doing ‘livestreams’ while doing incredibly mundane s**t is just getting ridiculous.”
“It’s one thing if she’s taking a photo of them together or a picture of their food to post, but it’s like she’s making a TV show out of going out to dinner.”
“If I were OP, I’d be so embarrassed I’d have asked her once to stop. The moment she said no, I’d have just walked out. Her followers are clearly more important than dinner and spending time with her SO.”
“NTA, OP, but don’t ignore all the red flags.”
“I also just read that y’all have only been together for TWO MONTHS and she’s doing this s**t. She can’t even put her phone down for a full meal together and y’all still barely know each other. Oof, red flags.” – Dauntless-One
“Uhhhh NTA. Like yeah, she has a following, and sometimes she might be obligated to record and post to keep up the pace, but recording even when the other person feels uncomfortable is just????”
“Also, what’s the point of a nice dinner while recording it, you can’t even have a nice conversation.” – meeezypeach
“I’m trying to imagine the kind of person who would even find her eating dinner remotely interesting or entertaining (assuming that she wasn’t showcasing the food at some unique restaurant or something)?”
“I mean, I don’t even have time to watch all the shows I want to want, who has the time for that Instagram gym chick eating asparagus at Alfredo’s?”
“Whatever your tastes, it seems like OP’s girlfriend always wants to be entertaining her audience so I think OP is going to have to decide if he wants to be a new cast member or not.”
“Because it sounds like she’s more interested in a show then a relationship, and as the star, she runs the shots and isn’t used to be being told no.”
“NTA OP, but I would reconsider the relationship, and if this is truly something you want.” – Puzzled-Passion7255
“Gonna go with NTA assuming she took it too far… I mean, posting photos of your meal or whatever is fine no big deal, taking some photos together is normal… but going on a livestream in a restaurant and filming you guys eating your whole meal is a bit much.”
“She can go out to eat alone if she wants to do that for the entirety of the meal. ‘Influencer culture’ can be pretty toxic in this aspect and a lot of people forget to actually live in the moment.”
“Your girlfriend can do what she pleases, but if she’s going to dine with you, she should act more respectfully. I would be extremely uncomfortable in your position, too.” – unicornpuppy11
“I go out to eat alone all the time, and it’s not as much work as what she’s doing is. The most accurate description is either: 1) She’s not on a date, she’s on the clock, or 2) she’s dating [name of the site where she posts].”
“Either way, she clearly doesn’t have room for another partner. NTA. Time to either charge her for your appearance in her work or move on.” – JuliaX1984
Though everyone could agree that the girlfriend could post anything she wanted on her social media accounts, that was limited to content that was specifically about her.
For her to ethically include anyone else in her posts, she would need their consent. And it was clear, when it came to the OP, that she absolutely did not have it.