When people break our stuff, we usually expect them to replace it.
A woman on Reddit found herself in this situation when her boyfriend used her camera without her permission and broke it.
When he refused to replace it, she stole money from him to replace it herself–and that sparked a whole new drama between them.
She wasn’t sure about how she handled it, so she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by the username June_throw_5367_ on the site, asked:
“AITA for using my boyfriend’s PS savings to buy a new camera?”
She explained:
“My 24f[emale] boyfriend 26m[ale] asked if he could have my camera to take with him to the beach with his friends. I said no but he took it anyway and didn’t tell me.”
“He then came home to tell me that it broke.”
“I was furious because 1) I never gave him permission to take it. and 2) it’s an expensive camera.”
“I demanded that he pay me for a replacement but he kept stalling saying he didn’t have money.”
“He has been saving up for a new ps after his old one broke. it was about $450 in total so I took it and added about $80 to buy a new camera that was similar to my old one.”
“He found out about it this morning and went off on me saying I shouldn’t have touched his money that he worked so hard to save.”
“I told him he broke my camera and was responsible for paying for a replacement.”
“he yelled at me saying that what happened with him was all accidental whereas what I did was on purpose and petty and theft as well.”
“We had a big argument and he had his friend come tell me how I fu*ked up by taking his money and acting sneaky about it.”
“He’s wanting his money back now and is pressuring me to return the camera saying it’s not as essential as the ps he was planning to buy.”
People on Reddit were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And for the most part they were in favor of OP’s version of vigilante justice.
“NTA. He owes you a camera because he broke yours. If you sued him, you’d win. You just avoided the process. I might call you a vigilante, but not an a**hole” –Powerful-Metal1313
“Yeah this exactly. If OP was all for him taking the camera, this would be a little different.”
“He STOLE the camera after OP said no (my guess is he has a tendency to break/lose sh*t and be irresponsible, which is why OP said no) and then acts as if OP is the bad guy after HE breaks it.”
“If anything, he should have been offering the money for the PS after breaking the camera.”
“But no, obviously his needs are entirely more important. What entitlement. NTA” –Dauntles-One
“Funny, how he said that OP shouldn’t have touched his money when he shouldn’t have touched her camera. And then he broke it.”
“I wonder if she saw the broke camera or if he just said it… Then i would say that he sold it.”
“NTA You broke it, you buy it.”
“ETA for what did he needed an expensive camera? Every new phone has great cameras?” –EvilFinch
“NTA. OP, tell him that you’ll be happy to return the money and instead go the legal route.”
“You’ll call the police and press charges for theft and then take him to court to get the money.”
“Because you’re his GF, you were kind and didn’t give him a criminal record, but you can always undo that.”
“Then, ask his friends if you can come over and steal some of their expensive stuff, even after they tell you know, break it, and they’ll just eat the cost, so no problem, right? Then, block all of them.” –crystallz2000
” OP’s boyfriend is accusing her of stealing the money but he stole the camera.”
“It doesn’t matter if the breaking was accidental, it happened after the theft of the camera.”
“OP taking the money is more than justified and in this case repayment for the camera not theft in my eyes.” —Mr-Prince
“He’s lucky that it’s only a less than $600 camera. Cameras and lenses can be very expensive. If she had my camera plus one lens, that guy would be on the hook for almost. $10,000 USD. His PlayStation can wait.” –BeefJerkyHunter
“NTA He broke your camera after stealing it. This clearly displays he values you less than he values himself.”
“You wanted him to not take the camera? Well he wanted to take it and what he wants is more important.”
“You want him to replace the camera he broke? He wants a PlayStation and what he wants is more important.”
“Have some value for yourself, if he insists on associating so little worth to you at least have the self worth to move on.” –HaveAMorcelOfMyMind
“You can’t break the law and do sh*tty things to other people just because someone wronged you first.”
“If I borrow money from you and don’t pay it back, you can’t just go to my wallet and steal my money to compensate the amount.”
“If someone steals your car, you can’t go and steal theirs. If someone beats you up, you can’t round up your buddies and beat them back.”
“Well, you can bc no one’s stopping you but it’s still as wrong as when the other person did the same.”
“In all those cases, you’re just as bad as the other person – being wronged first doesn’t magically make your wrongdoings right.”
“This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship bc both are stealing from each other and are just justifying their actions differently.” –Stupidityshouldhurt
“NTA. He took it without permission and broke it. Him breaking it was an accident, but taking it wasn’t. He is responsible for his accidents. How he can rationalize you should accept your camera is useless because of his actions is beyond me.” –Kris82868
“ESH. His breaking your camera and stalling to pay for it isn’t justification for you taking his personal savings and buying a new camera.”
“This is the real world and ‘eye for and eye’ is the worst thing to use as an excuse. You could have handled this as an adult and won via a small claims court.”
“You just screwed yourself over if he decides to take you to court now.” –fieryxx
“NTA But lose the boyfriend. I’m seeing a lot of ESH here because you “stole” from him, but honestly it was the only way you were going to get your money back short of small claims court.”
“Anyone that could say that a PS is more essential than a camera does not have their priorities straight.”
“Again NTA, but remember a boyfriend that doesn’t respect your property and boundaries, will never respect you as a person.” –Commercial_Tax_7923
“In a reasonable and practical relationship, these things would be handled healthily. If my husband broke something of mine, I’d want him to replace it.”
“However, if that thing was not part of my actual job and wasn’t something I needed so much as something I enjoyed?”
“I wouldn’t expect him to pull money from a small pile of savings he had been developing. I’d expect him to start putting additional money away to replace the thing he broke.”
“In the same vein if I broke something of his that wasn’t something he legitimately needed, I’d be supremely angry if he straight up took the savings I’d been saving up.”
“I’d have told him flat out that I was going to begin putting money aside to replace what I broke.”
“The real question for me would be if this was a hobby camera (even hobbyists have expensive things) or is it used for work and such (is OP using it somehow for business).”
“If it’s a hobby camera, I’d argue that a PS5 and a Hobby Camera are equally essential (they’re not essential beyond enjoyment).”
“In all reality though I’d honestly recommend taking someone to court if they refuse to pay you back – going into their private bank account and taking their money is most definitely theft, even if you feel it’s owed to you, because practically speaking it’s their money and not yours until they decide (or are forced) to give it to you.” –Altyrmadiken
“But… you worked so hard to save up for your camera that he broke!”
“So he values his savings and playthings more than he wants to recompensate you for something of yours that he broke.”
“He already disrespected your wishes about your property totally and he is not regretful and want to do things right by you. Instead, he accuses you and whines to his friend to come and tell you off.”
“Why are you with this guy, again?” –Willbewithyousoon
Maybe OP should get a new boyfriend to go with that new camera.