Throughout 2020, plenty of people finding themselves in self-isolation took an opportunity to start new hobbies or learn a new craft.
However, there was one craft taken up by an individual that caused tension in a relationship.
Redditor throwragfwitch is a 26-year-old male who did not approve of his 24-year-old girlfriend’s new interest and confronted her about it.
It did not go well.
He visited the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for telling my girlfriend that she’s not a witch”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I think my girlfriend got bored during the lockdowns last year and has gained an obsession with witchcraft.”
“She keeps saying that she’s a witch and she has filled our house with herbs, candles, crystals, rune sets and weird trinkets.”
“At first I didn’t care because I thought it’d be a temporary thing but I was very wrong.”
“She gets up at 3 in the morning just to do rituals and spells or whatever it is witches do. My girlfriend burns so much incense that it gives me a headache and makes our house smell strange, I hate it.”
“She also tries to make me drink random herbal teas that taste like sh*t. I really was trying to be supportive but it’s starting to frustrate me.”
“A few hours ago, I came home from work and as soon as she saw me she told me that she senses ‘bad energy’ and started SPRAYING some mist thing?? on and around me.”
“So I may have snapped and told her that she was acting crazy and she needs to let this witch thing go because she’s not a real f*cking witch.”
“My girlfriend was offended and told me I wasn’t a supportive boyfriend that I was acting disrespectful towards her beliefs and now she’s refusing to talk to me until I apologise…”
“Starting to wonder if I should have just kept my mouth shut.”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors were split between NTA and ESH judgments.
“NTA. She crossed a line when she started to spray you directly which is the same as being srayed with ‘holy water.’ If the two of you can’t come to an undersanding and mutual acceptance of each other, you’re headed for a break-up.” – Individual_Ad_9213
“Mmm….i agree. I’m also petty as sh*t so if my SO started waving incense and cleansers around me because my ‘energy was off’ I would totally show up at home the next time and start flinging water claiming it was holy water…one good turn and whatnot.” – InsideSympathy7713
“NTA but barely. One part of the Wiccan rede is ‘harm none, do what you will.’ Basically the golden rule of treat others as you would like to be treated.”
“By forcing her religion onto you she is breaking the rede.” – SnowFallenMemories
This Redditor argued for ESH (everyone sucks here) because they disagreed with the OP undermining his girlfriend’s newfound spiritualism.
“No, I think it’s ESH. Girlfriend is crossing a line by forcing her boyfriend to participate, but witchcraft is a legitimate spiritual practice.”
“It’s like telling someone they’re ‘not a real f’king Christian’ if they hold up a cross or they’re ‘not a real f’king Jew’ if they put a mezuzah on their door.”
“A, it doesn’t make much sense because you’re using their spiritual practice as grounds to claim they’re not the religion they are part of, and B, it’s just a d*ck thing to do to attack someone’s spirituality when instead you could just ask them to not pull you into it.” – AITAthrowaway1mil
“If she’d just discovered Catholicism a year-ish ago, and greeted him by flinging holy water to rid him of demons or whatnot, it’d still be crazy. While snapping at a partner always sucks, it is understandable.” – Affectionate-Stay-32
“The reason I’d say NTA instead of E S H is because the girlfriend crossed a line (that I know the community stated) by forcing a spell or cleansing immediately.”
“But I do agree with you that calling her a fake witch is wrong but after coming home and being sprayed plus the continued headaches I can see the snapping point.” – egged_jew
Still, more ESH opinions emerged.
“The only reason I would say OP’s the asshole too is he should have communicated he doesn’t want to join in on her practice and is uncomfortable with it.”
“You can still be supportive and set clear participation boundaries. It’s why ESH is the right call.” – Medical_Ad0716
“I also go for ESH. It’s definitely a boundary being crossed by spraying OP but calling her fake really doesn’t help. Probably OP tolerated her ‘witchcraft’ for too long and of course — he snapped.”
“OP have you communicated your boundaries? That you get a headache from the insense?”
“It might be a good move to explain her that you don’t believe in witchcraft but are okay if she does as long as some clear boundaries are installed.”
“Although you might not agree with it, it seems to have become her religion. Maybe she can have her little witch-corner or even a room if you two got the space for it.”
“Or setting a timetable, so that you don’t get disturbed while she’s doing her rituals.”
“And also tell her that you don’t like these herbal infusions but it’s fine if she wants to drink it.” – path_to_wonderland
Someone who shared the girlfriend’s spiritual interest weighed in.
“NTA i am into witchcraft, but your girlfriend is crossing boundries here.”
“A lot of people are telling you you should be more respectful of her beliefs, but that goes both ways. Forcing you to live in incense smell all day, and spraying peoples faces without warning is not cool.”
“My partner is an atheist, and there is plenty of space in our relationship for both our beliefs. All ot takes is some mutual respect.”
“I do advice you, if you want this relationship to work, to have a talk with her about what she beliefs, and at least make an attempt to understand. You can’t have a relationship with someone you don’t respect.”
“I understand you see witchcraft as a buch of nutty hoohaa, but maybe if you spend some time actually figuring out what it is she believes, you will gain some insights you did not have before. It never hurts to entertain an idea without necessarily believing in it.” – JynxTail
While Redditors were split between NTA and ESH judgments, a good majority of Redditors encouraged the OP to engage in a heart-to-heart discussion and set some boundaries if he wants to remain in a relationship with someone who is passionate about her awakening.