Everybody loves cake.
Cake is one of the best things in the world.
So why would someone turn down making cake?
Everybody has their reasons.
Case in point…
Redditor Whole_Ferret9774 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA because I baked my own birthday cake after my wife bought one?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“For my (32 M[ale]) birthday I always like one specific kind of cake, a chocolate-covered cherry cake.”
“My mom or dad always made it for me since it wasn’t one of the available flavors at any bakeries or stores near where we grew up.”
“When I moved away I started to make it myself.”
“I’ve been married to my wife just under a year but we’ve been together for 6 years so she knows all about this cake.”
“During that time we’ve either baked it together, my parents made it, or I’ve made it on my own.”
“I’ve never asked or expected her to do it.”
“Before my birthday this year my wife asked me what kind of cake I wanted.”
“Same kind as always but she told me she didn’t feel like baking.”
“I told her she didn’t need to worry about baking it because I can just do it myself.”
“She asked me a second time and I gave her the same answer.”
“The day before my birthday I get home from work and have all the ingredients to make my cake.”
“Go to get something out of the fridge and there’s a pair of cheesecakes in there with ‘Happy Birthday’ written between them both.”
“I asked my wife about it and she said those were the cakes for my party the next day and she thought of switching things up this year since ‘everyone loves cheesecake.'”
“I don’t hate it but she gets cheesecakes at least once a month.”
“I only ever have the cherry cake on my birthday.”
“I told her I appreciate it and they look good but I really want the cake I like so I was going to make mine and we’ll just let everyone have a choice of what cake they want.”
“She got pissed off and yelled that I ruined her attempt to make things easier on us by not having to bake and bringing cake that everyone would love.”
“It’s been two days since the party and she was cold at the party and is still acting cold.”
‘Usually I move mountains and heaven to give her the things she wants on her birthdays and celebrate how she wants.”
“I just wanted one specific cake for mine.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA, and it’s weird for her to have even bothered asking what kind of cake you want if she was going to ignore you and choose her favorite cake instead.”
“Also I’ve never heard of a party being ruined by too much cake, that’s patently absurd.”
“Is she weirdly controlling about other things as well or is this just because she’s doesn’t like chocolate cherry cake?”
“I don’t get it.” ~ Suitable-Cod-1381
“The fact that there are people out there who would try to insist on THEIR favourite dessert on their LOVED ONE’S birthday makes me really sad.”
“Wish they would just say they were selfish t**ts and go.”
“Let ALONE being mean to him for THREE DAYS about it, including ON his birthday.”
“Like… does she have a secret cheesecake addiction, or does she just not give a sh*t about him? Yuck.” ~ skobeloff_pasta
“My dad’s favorite cake is German Chocolate.”
“I am deathly allergic to EATING coconut, meaning I can touch it, but I can’t eat it.”
“Guess what cake I make for him every year without fail.”
“German Chocolate. Why?”
“BECAUSE IT’S HIS DAMN BIRTHDAY AND IT’S NOT ABOUT ME!” ~ IAmTheDecoy
“Exactly! My wife’s favorite cake that I make for her is actually chocolate and coconut, which is the last dessert I’d choose for myself.”
“But on her birthday, that’s what I make for her because she loves it and it’s her favorite.”
“That day is about her, not me, so I can’t imagine buying or making what I like instead.”
“It’s so selfish.” ~ certaindarkthings
“NTA. She didn’t want to make it easier on both of you, she wanted to make it easier on herself but not feel guilty for being too lazy to help you make your cake.” ~ noclevernickname2021
“NTA. She got cheesecake because that what she likes.”
“That’s not really the point when you’re getting something for another person.”
“Like if I’m buying a bottle of wine to gift a friend who prefers Pinot Noir—which I do not like—I’m not going to bring a Cabernet instead.”
“Maybe in addition to, but not instead of.”
“And her flipping out about it is total gaslighting.”
“She wanted what she wanted and didn’t want to bake.”
“There was no reason that she couldn’t get cheesecake too but expecting you not to make ‘your’ cake—a known tradition—is just nuts.” ~ UsuallyWrite2
“NTA, It’s your birthday, prepare the cake you enjoy.”
“Your wife has nothing to be upset about, you’re willing to make it yourself.”
“Also, your wife is dead wrong, not everyone loves cheese cake.” ~ penguin_squeak
“NTA but she is.”
“In 6 years, she still asks what type of cake you want?”
“Then says she does’t want to make a cake and then asks you again?”
“How is she so unable to just say that she doesn’t really like that cake so, if you’re happy to make your favourite cake, is it ok if she buys something else so that she has a choice?”
“Why won’t people use their words?”
“And how does she know everyone will love cheesecake?”
“Does your cake usually go uneaten or something?”
“If not, people clearly like your cake so she’s really just buying something she wants.”
“Why get pissy over another cake?”
“Who gets pissy over cake?!”
“There’s no such thing as too much cake!” ~ Est666
“NTA. Your wife asked you (twice) and then deliberately disregarded your preference.”
“She clearly likes cheesecake and figured she’d impose what she wants on your birthday.”
“I get that she didn’t ‘feel like baking’ – that’s her prerogative.”
“But in that case, she should have just let you do what you’d said you would and bake the birthday cake yourself.”
“She made a bad call.” ~ PinkedOff
“NTA. You want one thing, just ONE THING for your birthday.”
“But, your wife wouldn’t compromise at all. Instead, she came up with every excuse in the book to NOT have your favorite cake.”
“She didn’t want to make it?”
“That’s fine. You’ll make it.”
“She says everyone loves cheesecake?”
“Good for them, but you love your chocolate-covered cherry cake.”
“She got mad that she bought the cheesecake but you’re going to make your cake anyways?”
“You said anyone can choose and she blows up!”
“You might need to sit down and talk to her about why she was so adamant about cheesecake.”
“By the way, I googled Chocolate-Covered Cherry Cake.”
“I never tried it, but I can already see why it’s your favorite!!!” ~ Treeflower77
“NTA. What is your wife’s damage?”
“You literally could not have handled this any more gently.”
“You held no expectation for her to follow through on the cake you wanted, were perfectly content in making it yourself, and didn’t have an issue with the cheesecakes being available at the party.”
“Sounds like she’s harboring guilt that you didn’t push on her. “
“This is such a ridiculous thing for her to be pissy about, it’s literally your birthday.”
“Also cheesecake is disgusting so she has bad taste too.” ~ o-k-lynn
“NTA but I feel like there’s something missing here.”
“Is there a reason she seems to dislike the cake?”
“Does she like it the other times?”
“I don’t know, since it seems like she had no problem baking it with you before, then something seems off here.” ~ SilentSnortingCrack
“NTA- seems like she might be feeling guilty about not baking you your cake and is projecting it on you.”
“Why else would she be mad that you’re going through the effort to bake your own cake, to the point that she chose to ruin the whole day?”
“And that’s totally ignoring that she couldn’t be bothered to accommodate your once yearly cake request and instead got something that SHE liked for YOUR day.”
“Your wife is a major AH.” ~ ohheyitsthathoopgirl
OP came back to share some deets…
“Update: The recipe for everyone asking:”
“1 box chocolate cake mix”
“1 jar maraschino cherries”
“1 can cherry pie filling”
“1 teaspoon almond extract”
“1 container cool whip (2-3 cups might work, I like to slather the whole container on)…”
“Chocolate sauce”
“Rum to taste”
“Make the cake mix as directed, mix in the maraschino cherries, almond extract, and rum.”
Bake, take out and let it cool.”
“Mix together the cool whip and cherry pie filling, ice the top of the cake and all sides.”
“Drizzle with the desired amount of chocolate sauce.”
Sounds delish…
Thanks OP…
Reddit is with you.
You deserve the cake you want for your birthday.
Enjoy.
Happy You Day!