At what point do so many accidents happen that we lose our ability to pity the person?
That was the topic concerning a recent post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP), known Prestigious-Piglet72 on the site, highlighted the accident area right in the title for the post.
“AITA for making my wife use an old phone when I can buy her a new one?”
OP kicked off with a less-than-flattering character sketch.
“Okay so my wife is extremely hard on phones. Cracks them, gets them wet, etc.”
“We have had her phone replaced three times in 2 years and it is giving out expectedly. But she always is dropping it, using it by the sink etc.”
Then, a solution was proposed.
“We have an older phone sitting in a drawer at home that could very easily be repurposed for her to use and abuse.”
But there was a snag.
“However she wants a new one.”
“If I get her a new phone it will not necessarily put us in a hardship. But I feel it’s more about principle that she needs to take better care of things.”
And OP was left reflecting about his stance.
“Am I the AH l if I opt to have her to use the older phone instead of buying a new one?”
“I don’t want to treat her like a kid. We are partners.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
After some responses were posted, OP had to clarify one thing.
“Edit: she refuses to use an indestructible case because they are ‘bulky and ugly’ “
Most Redditors still took OP’s side. Though there were many rationales offered, the financial variable was a major one.
“NTA- it’s not about whether she’s a child or not, it’s about having something and taking care of it. If she wants a new phone then she should buy the new phone.”
“It’s not fair for either person to spend hundreds of $$ on a phone that could be used towards something more important.” — SeaShellee17
“after reading all the comments you’ve made, it’s clear she has no idea how to take care of things. if this keeps going on she’s gonna be costing you thousands of $.”
“she needs to learn to take care of her sh** instead of making you waste your hard earned money every time she breaks something.”
“like seriously, who breaks a phone 3 times in 2 years. i’ve had my phone for 2 years and there’s not even a scratch on it” — AsceSy
“NTA Phones are expensive. I kept my iPhone 7 for over 4 years without issue. Three replacements in two years is absurd and irresponsible. You’re the sole breadwinner, so buy her a cheaper phone that allows her to easily text and call.”
“If you buy her a new version of the phone she messed up, require her to keep a heavy duty case on it! Otterbox has slimmer cases now that are just as effective.” — prosperos-fairy
“NTA I love my iPhone 7 and hate the inevitable need to upgrade She wants/needs a new phone every 6 months from the sound of it and that’s approximately 2k a year she should take better care or have a side hustle to pay for her unwillingness to care” — Hyche862
Others had similar pragmatic recommendations.
“Suggestion: look into CATphones. They’re literally made by the Caterpillar company (construction equipment). They are essentially ruggedized phones with no need for a case running Android.”
“I’m a farmer and a mom of three very young children and my phone survives them tolerably well. I have yet to have a screen crack even when chasing (and catching) rams or when one of my toddlers throws the phone across the room. (I don’t encourage that, but it happens.)” — soayherder
“NTA my BIL is the same way. He has dropped more phones in the toilet then I can remember. HOWEVER, there are waterproof/droproof cases and screen protectors.”
“This is a no Brainer to me. Get the new phone and she MUST use the bulkier protective cases to handle her abuse.” — AlbatrossSenior7107
And some people were simply flabbergasted by her flippancy.
“This might go against what everyone else is saying, but NTA. My first thought is: why does your wife not pay attention to her phone? – later models can come up to 1k and you can’t trade in models with water damage, does she not care about throwing money away?”
“Second: why doesn’t she buy a phone and put it in one of those cases that you can throw from a crane and they won’t break?”
“Third: she’s not a child who by norm is less finely-tuned motor skills or perception to “danger”, so why is she breaking her phone every 8 months?”
“Is it just carelessness, a deeper issue? What happens when it’s not her phone she lives near the water but her plugged in hair drier?” — AllyAddams
“NTA, if she refuses to get a phone without your approval then she shouldn’t complain that you’re honest about what you think. Two years might be a long time to have a phone (Idk, I had mine for 6+ years before I upgraded)…”
“…BUT it’s fu**ing bizarre that she’s needed to replace her phone three times in two years. I mean, maybe you could agree to a new phone if she agree to get a heavy duty case and keep the phone in bubble wrap.”
“Holy sh**. Thinking about the fu**ing environmental waste is disgusting.” — Naay_
And a few advised an approach that entailed a compromise.
“Being a phone destroyer myself I totally understand you, but you should discuss it with your wife first, I suggest you to buy her a new one and have a comprehensive discussion about it, like setting some rules that she has to follow, like she will get a new phone every two years…”
“…if she gets it wet or drop it she won’t have a new smartphone from this generation again, just a cheap or used one that is a downgrade from the damaged one, until those two years pass, she’s an adult totally capable of taking care of a cellphone, I’m improving myself on that too, so I’m sure she can do it. NTA.” — Prici_ros
That advice seemed to convince OP, who added another edit to the original post.
“FINAL EDIT: I have gotten over my frustration about it. On my way to the phone store. Going to buy her a nice phone that’s on sale. A nice case. Wrap it in bubble wrap as a gag.”
“And then we are going to have a sit down conversation about her taking care of things. Regardless of who buys them(:”