When trying to make a good first impression, criticizing someone’s choice of hairstyle is not a good idea. A female Redditor and member of the community /r/curlyhair taught this to a man who reached out to her on a dating app with some incredibly patronizing advice.
My friend Amelia has luxurious curly hair. Mines been blah lately. She points me to curlyhair Reddit. My life is changing.
— Chelsea Stewart (@ChelsMor) September 11, 2017
Reddit user YerBlues69 wrote in her post:
“Unsolicited advice. I’ve got naturally curly hair & this guy sends me this message. I just had to share. It bothers me to no end that people think curlies would look better with straight hair. Why should we change our God-given hair texture to look better for YOU? *vent over*”
In the above screenshot, the unnamed man wrote this semi-coherant message in response to YerBlues69’s picture:
“Very attractive beautiful let ur hair grow long n straight no disrespect intended or trying to affend [sic] u im telling u from a guy perception”
She responded to him perfectly:
“I style my hair the way I want to.”
Reddit users flocked to YerBlues69 to offer their support. havennotheaven wrote:
“What a dirtbag. News flash, women don’t exist to give guys something pretty to look at! You do you, sis.”
Vadgeofhonour explained things for the unnamed man:
“Some men really still don’t understand that all the effort we put into ourselves is, shockingly, for us.”
foodporns thinks YerBlues69 should keep looking for the right guy.
“I can’t agree more! Up until now, I never had a boyfriend who liked my curls. They always said they liked my straightened hair more! Nevertheless, my boyfriend now loves them. Good thing he’s a keeper!”
“You dodged a bullet there.”
EbonyCohen had a good laugh over the man’s message.
“‘let ur hair grow long n straight’ as if someone with curly hair can just grow straight hair if they ‘let’ it wtf ????????????”
OhMyGoodness thinks YerBlues69 handled herself admirably.
“I’m so annoyed by this. Part of me would have wanted to tear him down but his grammar would have just made me refuse to waste time responding. He’s clearly an idiot. I would never date someone who wasn’t completely obsessed with my hair. Good job just educating him and walking away.”
OnwardAnd-Upward knows what she would have said!
“I’d have been tempted to tell him ‘no disrespect or offense I’m just telling you from a woman’s perspective quit trying to control what other people do'”
moonkid19 does as she likes.
“My ex used to tell me to straighten my hair and that I looked so much cuter with it straightened. I never did :)”
americaisascam has also had bad experiences with people judging her hair:
“Ew!!! Also, I feel your pain…I’ve been working so hard on getting my hair healthy and curly after years of straightening and I’m finally making progress and starting to love my curls, then at Thanksgiving, my bf’s step-brother’s wife said something to me about how she has to straighten her hair everyday bc if she didn’t, her hair would look like mine. Just bc you prefer your hair straight doesn’t mean you should talk bad about my curly hair!!! People are so rude.”
If there are any men reading this, take note: A woman’s hair belongs to her and there’s no reason for you to comment on how you prefer it—especially if you’ve just met her!