Reddito Glittering-Ad793 is a 27-year-old woman who was accused of being a horrible girlfriend by her 41-year-old boyfriend.
He had expressed his frustration over their dinner options at home, and when he discovered what was being served, he shut her out.
She sought help from strangers by visiting the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asking:
“AITA for cooking ‘scraps’ for dinner?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I cooked my bf ‘scraps’ for dinner.”
“We need to go grocery shopping but have leftovers in the fridge from last night which I assumed would be eaten this evening. These leftovers are uncooked burger patties, pasta salad, and grilled corn.”
“At 7 pm this evening bf asked what I was making for dinner. I reminded him of the left overs. He said I was throwing a hissy fit over not wanting to cook him a good meal.”
“Then he said he’d probably just eat crackers or something and he’d have to figure it out himself. Then he fell back asleep.”
“After he fell asleep I felt horrible so I cooked up some rice, ground beef, peppers, onions, grilled some fresh corn and mixed it all together with some home made chipotle sauce then baked it with some cheese to melt.”
“When I presented it with him he wouldn’t even taste it. He asked if I got fresh ingredients at the store or just used what we had. I told him I cooked everything fresh but it was bought yesterday.”
“The corn hadn’t been cooked before, the pepper hadn’t been cooked before, etc. it was all extra ingredients that I hadn’t used yesterday.”
“He then told me I ruined his night further by not listening to him and letting him make his ‘cracker meal’ and a horrible gf for trying to serve him ‘scraps’ I insisted that it’s not scraps but he kept yelling ‘scraps’ and told me to leave him alone to ‘starve.’”
“Should I have played this differently, was I really that bad for making him this? Or AITA for not listening to his cracker thing? Or is he just in a mood and being a jerk?”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Redditors sided with the OP as not the a**hole in the situation, but not before being flabbergasted by her story.
“I’m so confused. first off, does he think people go to the store every single day?”
“Second, girl, what the f’k?”
“Third, what the hell happened to you in your life that you think being talked to and treated like this is acceptable, or that it could possibly make you an a**hole?”
“Fourth, girl, again, what the f’k?” – sunfloweries
“NTA! My God, doesn’t everyone eat leftovers? Sounds like he’s the one throwing a hissy fit, and if he wanted more than crackers why the hell didn’t he make it himself?”
“I don’t know why you wanted to appease this jerk by going ahead and making another meal, which he groused about anyway. If doesn’t appreciate your cooking, tell him to make his own meals.”
“This man sounds like he is taking advantage of you. I’d break up with him. He is not a nice person.” – stroppo
“Also the food waste throwing that stuff out. The environmental impact of that kind of behaviour drives me nuts. The amount of carbon required to produce beef that then would go in the garbage adding to emissions from landfills. Yikes”
“Eat leftovers, always! NTA” – incompetentsidekick
“Please run as quickly as you can. He is 41 years old and can’t fix a meal for himself and complains when you cook for him. What you cooked was completely fine, what world does he live in where food needs to be bought the same day that it’s cooked?!”
“He knows that it spends time on the grocery store shelves before being bought, right?!”
“He sounds immature, demanding and honestly abusive. He’s picking a fight over nothing and being controlling. The age difference is concerning as well. Please look after yourself. NTA.” – Blue_wine_sloth
“What got me is the line ‘I felt horrible’ so she threw together a dinner with the ingredients on hand. Ma’am you do not need to feel horrible, let this guy eat a cracker dinner for the rest of his life while you cook frugally and reasonably with someone who actually likes you.” – educatedvegetable
“You can have fun cooking with ‘scraps’.”
“I grew up in quite a poor family. We simply didn’t have the funds to waste anything that could be eaten. There were also four kids, spread out over quite an age range. Between working full time and looking after the different things that all of us kids needed given our different ages, my mother was too exhausted to even contemplate menu planning or any kind of fussing around.”
“When we went grocery shopping she bought what was on special, and then over the course of the week, she’d cook dinner with it (it was usually one or two cooked dishes per week, meat and 2 or 3 veg the rest of the time), and what we didn’t eat was frozen or put in the fridge.”
“On the weekends, for lunch, all this stuff came back out of the fridge or freezer. We all grew up just fine. As us kids got old enough we started taking over the cooking duties for the family.”
“Now, as an adult, this skill has come in really handy. If I work late and am too tired to go grocery shopping, or am running low until the next payday, I will look at what I have in the fridge and cupboard and improvise a meal. Sometimes it doesn’t turn out so great, a lot of the time it is a reasonable meal.”
“However, a few times I have come up with something that turned into a new favourite and I have had to immediately try and remember what I put in it so I can write it down in order to be able to cook it again deliberately later.”
“And, there is absolutely nothing wrong with reheated food (as long as you keep within the food safety guidelines). These people that ‘need’ a freshly cooked meal for every meal annoy me. What rubbish. And also, cook it yourself if it is that important to you.”
‘He said I was throwing a hissy fit over not wanting to cook him a good meal.’
“What an idiot. I advise malicious compliance. Throw a massive hissy fit about not wanting to cook him a good meal ever again and dump him to make sure you won’t ever have to.” – yellowdragonteacup
“I sure hope he’s a sugar daddy if he’s treating this woman like a bang maid.”
“This dude can cook for himself or at the very least go buy groceries himself if he’s so offended that the food was purchased 😱 the day before. Seriously wtf. Who tf in the U.S. goes grocery shopping daily?” – ConfoozledCat
“Some of us are from countries full with people who Will fight over ‘scraps,’ Even some of us will do that. Remind that the little and spoiled ‘man’ of yours.” – angrypotatowithavena
“NTA. OP I’d have loved to have eaten what you whipped up, sounds delicious. People eat ‘leftovers’ which actually the casserole really wasn’t since you completely re-worked and cooked the stuff tonight.”
“But everyone — save your spoiled bf — eats leftovers some of the time so as not to waste good food, and also because true leftovers usually taste fine if not better than the first night they’re cooked.”
“This guy sounds like a real pain, and have to say OP kind of jumped to his tantrum. Suggest OP find some self-confidence and not let this guy get to you, maybe time to find a new bf since he sounds like he enjoys ordering OP around and trying to make you feel guilty for nothing.” – sailingisgreat
“I married into a family who looks down on leftovers. My MIL lives with me for a while and she wanted to throw them away every night. But because I am a normal, non wasteful person she would instead grumble loudly with plenty of disdain that ‘she’ will eat them.”
“There’s a reason she doesn’t live here anymore. That boyfriend should kick rocks too OP. NTA.” – Facetunethis
“Dump him. I know people are always quick to say that, but in this case it’s completely justified. The food you made is much fancier than anything I’m willing to throw together on a week night.”
“Honey, there’s always a reason a 40+ year old guy chases women in their 20s. And you’re finding it out now.”
“NTA.” – hopskipandajump7
“NTA. I’m not sure if you have a particular enjoyment for age difference or what, but this is a good example of why people in their 40s shouldnt be dating people that are in their 20s or younger. Hes abusive and taking your kindness and throwing it in the dumpster and pushing it down a hill.”
“Please throw the whole dude in a dumpster.” – AstriumViator
Overall, Redditors remained appalled over the boyfriend’s demanding persona and suggested the OP consider the red flags and leave the relationship.