Josh Brolin is really mad.
The Avengers: Endgame star recently tried out a new sunning fad that led to excruciating pain.
While most people tan in their bathing suits, baring your perineum to the sun is now a thing.
So Brolin gave this perineum sunning thing a shot, and the result was a major pain in the a$$ that not even Thanos can quickly eliminate with a forcible snap.
In a moving Instagram post, Josh Brolin's emotions were as raw as his burnt flesh https://t.co/qFpaxsrcmT
— The Cut (@TheCut) December 3, 2019
The 51-year-old posted an example of the position he assumed when exposing â€“ what Brolin eloquently described as his “pucker hole” â€“ to the sun and warned everyone not to do it for as long as he did.
“Tried this perineum sunning that Iâ€™ve been hearing about and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did.”
View this post on Instagram
Tried this perineum sunning that Iâ€™ve been hearing about and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did. My pucker hole is crazy burned and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family and instead Iâ€™m icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain. I donâ€™t know who the fuck thought of this stupid shit but fuck you nonetheless. Seriously. #blackholefriday #blackholesun #severeperineumburns #santamonicafiredepartment #assholecare
His plans to spend the day with the family had to take a backseat.
“My pucker hole is crazy burned and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family and instead Iâ€™m icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain.”
“I donâ€™t know who the f**k thought of this stupid s**t but f**k you nonetheless. Seriously.”
there is nothing funny about a sunburned taint unless it's the name of your band.
— Alacrity Fitz (@volatilemix) December 3, 2019
On the plus side, Chapstick now comes in a suppository.
— Conroy Del Varney (@SageGreco) December 3, 2019
Josh Brolin getting sunburned while buttchugging vitamin D is the ending to 2019 we deserve. https://t.co/asno2hlMne
— Anson Ling (@ns0n) December 3, 2019
Why anyone would want to tan their nether region is beyond comprehension.
But then again, taint nothing like the internet.
There's a reason why they call that area 'where the sun don't shine.'
— HeatherHollandWheaton (@HollandWheaton) December 1, 2019
Yeah, thatâ€™s seriously no country for old men…
— Bluesmentor (@bluesmentor) December 3, 2019
He just doesnâ€™t seem to be the type to do such a thing, and then admit ðŸ¤·â€â™€ï¸ðŸ¤£
— Stacy k Howell (@stacykhowell1) December 1, 2019
Be warned: the internet a$$ed for this.
you made me do this, slate pic.twitter.com/RnkwN0oUm6
— Zeddy (@Zeddary) December 3, 2019
— Veronica Cristina (@veronicacris) December 2, 2019
— newswatcher (@AhrDenis) December 1, 2019
The sunning fad became viral last month after a health influencer by the name of Ra of Earth posted a video of three naked men raising their legs in the air and offering their harvest moons to the sun.
— á••( á› )á•— (@heyyjohann) December 3, 2019
Here is the video demonstrating how you can effectively receive energy.
The health guru gave this hard sell:
“In a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole, you will receive more energy from this electric node than you would in an entire day being outside with your clothes on.”
Dear Ra â€“ Josh Brolin has some harsh words for you.
Brolin didn’t specify how far past the suggested 30-second sunning time he exposed his puckered starfish, but aside from his burnt plunket, let’s hope he benefitted from a great core workout.
Hahahaha whatâ€™d he do? Fall asleep with legs akimbo? The instructions said 30 seconds…
— LE (@Inessence4) December 3, 2019
Our thoughts and prayers are with him every time he has to go for a number two.