Guy’s Overly Compassionate Girlfriend Refuses To Rid Their New Apartment Of Bedbug Infestation, And People Have Thoughts

GettyImages, u/PowerfulCitron/Reddit

Moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend is an exciting time for budding relationships and is cause for a celebration.

But what should have been an enthusiastic post about a housewarming party to mark the occasion, unfortunately, wound up with some unwanted house guests of the six-legged variety.

The couple wound up with a bed bug infestation, and getting rid of the problem is complicated.

PowerfulCitron asked for help on Reddit‘s Relationship Advice page.

My (25M) girlfriend (24F) of 2 years doesn’t want to get rid of a bedbug infestation. from r/relationship_advice

The girlfriend refuses to allow eradicating the brownish, watermelon seed-shaped pests.

“We just signed a lease last month to start living together in a new place. Well, we had a housewarming party that got a bit bigger than we expected, with some friends of friends we didn’t know showing up. More than 20 people in total. We suspect the bedbugs came from someone at the party. We’ve had them for more than a week now.”

According to the boyfriend, the girlfriend is very compassionate and seems like the kind of person who would never hurt a fly. Therein lies the problem.

Where does one draw the line when it comes to sparing the life of all living creatures–especially creepy crawlies that feast on you at night?

Does she not use antibacterial soap to kill germs on her hands? Will she welcome a mice infestation next? What if there’s a bulging sack filled with thousands of spiders ready to burst into their bedroom?

All that is neither here nor there.

“My girlfriend refuses to cooperate in getting rid of them. Because she doesn’t believe it’s okay to do so. I’d always known she was a very compassionate person and truly views all living things as precious and important, volunteers for a few humanitarian causes like animal shelters and loves nature. But I didn’t know it went this far, that eradicating pests like this is wrong. This is very extreme to me.”

The boyfriend’s patience begins to unravel.

“Meanwhile, we are getting eaten alive every night and they just keep multiplying. I’m out of patience, I’ve asked her many times how she can stand living with this, she just says it’s ‘annoying’ but she couldn’t bring herself to intentionally kill anything. Even a f*****g bedbug.”

When he took matters into his own hands and broke her the news of making an appointment with an exterminator, it didn’t go over so well.

“Today I decided I was done with this bulls**t. I called an exterminator and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow. When I told her, she flipped. I said I didn’t care what she thought, she could help me pack up everything to prepare or not but it was happening.”

“Then once I went to work, she cancelled it behind my back! She texted me to tell me. She said she doesn’t want to fight with me, that we should be able to ‘live in harmony with each other and other creatures’!!! She also said she’s really stressed due to our disagreement about it, but I’m stressed from having the bedbugs!”

“Now I’m about to go home to our infested apartment and confront her. Please help. I feel like my life has turned into some realm of insanity. How do I make her understand that the pest control needs to happen??”

It gets worse.

She spread the epidemic outside of their apartment and suffered the consequences of being a carrier.

In an update, the frustrated boyfriend said, “we’re f****d.”

“She got home today and said she got fired. She works at a daycare and they found bedbugs there today, then she straight up ADMITTED they were from her. Because she was trying to convince the other staff that there’s ‘natural’ ways to get them to leave!”

“What ways? I’ve asked a million times and everything she says is bulls**t. Some of it I sourced to quackery sites riddled with fake health information and conspiracy theories, some she claims ‘someone told her,’ the rest I honestly think she just made up.”

“Anyway they let her go after she tried to argue with them. I am just blown away by her idiocy about all of this. There’s no other term for it. So now I’ve lost a LOT of respect and trust for her. It sucks. I always admired how humanitarian she was but jesus this has taught me that everything needs to have limits. And that even good impulses can be crazy and harmful in effect.”

It has grown into a financial burden with possible legal ramifications.

“That’s not the only thing. I went and talked to the other tenants last night after reading some of these comments. Welp they’ve all been finding bedbugs too. The entire house is infested.”

“As if my girlfriend losing her job isn’t enough, I just got off the phone with the landlord. She got the complaints from the other tenants and knows we’re the source of the infestation because we were the first to report it. I’d informed her I was having it taken care of after I scheduled the appointment my girlfriend ended up cancelling.”

“So now, I had to tell her why it never happened. She was really pissed off and said she would have covered that single-time extermination assuming we were going to cooperate but now that my girlfriend f****d it up and the whole house is crawling with them, it’ll be probably THOUSANDS in expenses. She told me she’s going to be looking into holding us liable for the cost.”

“I’m so absolutely f****d. I don’t have thousands of dollars lying around. Neither does my girlfriend who’s fault it is, and as of today nor does she even have a f*****g job. I am so mad I don’t even know how to deal with her. She’s out right now and idk when she’ll be back, she’s avoiding me.”

If this isn’t a dealbreaker, I don’t know what is.

“I don’t know what to do. I just need to move and get the hell out of here asap. I do not think I will be inviting her along with me. In fact, I don’t think I can even stand being in a relationship with her after this. Unless she shows some serious sincere understanding of the sh**t she caused. But I know her values and way of thinking, and she’s very stubborn. It’s not going to happen. Goddamn even ruining our lives probably won’t make her change.”

“Anyway. Gonna go build a time machine so I can have never moved in with her, there’s basically no other way to fix this.”

He took steps in leaving her and the apartment and sought legal protection from the landlord. 

While his rage is justifiable, he didn’t have to steer the conversation into a diatribe against a woman whom he once thought was very attractive.

“Honestly, yes she used to be pretty hot. Last few months she’s been gaining weight and got fat now. That’s just extra incentive to leave I decided. Realistically I don’t think I could possibly not have this whole clusterf**k be the first thing on my mind whenever I’m around her. I’m so pissed off.”

“I’m getting a consultation with an attorney first thing tomorrow to see if/how I can legally protect myself against landlord’s lawsuit for damages so that it’s her responsibility. I already told her I don’t want to see her. I don’t care if she goes back to the apartment, she can have it. I’ve left everything there except my electronics and some personal items. They can burn it all, I don’t care.”

“As of tonight I’m temporarily staying with a very generous friend (after thoroughly showering at the gym, of course) who I’m unspeakably grateful to. It’ll be a pain to replace my clothes, and furniture once I find a new place, but I know where to get cheap s**t that will do for now. I have some emergency savings. Guess this is exactly the kind of thing that’s for. And fortunately I still have my job which is more than she can say.”

While most people sympathized with his dilemma, Twitter lost respect for him after the weight comments about his presumably now ex-girlfriend.

Although some people thought he was entitled to be bitter.

Hopefully, this possibiity (see below) isn’t the case.

Others couldn’t get past the issue and called the red flag.

Hahaha this may be the reddest flag I’ve ever seen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a f**kin hippie when it comes to other living creatures but god damn, f**kin bedbugs?”HopefulTelephone

“I don’t usually go for ultimatums. But this situation, needs it! ‘me, or the bed bugs?’ Personally, I’d be going home to pack my stuff and move out.”pickled_Lime

“I have no wish to kill anything either, but I just don’t have empathy for bugs that bite me or buzz me. I am fascinated by ants outside and can watch them forever, but when they come into my kitchen, I slaughter them. I never kill spiders but will mercilessly swat all flying bugs in my home.” – lifesagamegirl

Would she make an exception for these insects?

“Fingers crossed she never has a termite infestation, cause she’d probably choose the termites over her house collapsing.”Maple63521

“They are parasites. Would she kill a mosquito if it landed on her? What about if she had a tapeworm in her intestines?”Claclink520

There’s not much left to say except this all sucks.

If you’re dealing with bed bugs or want to be prepared to go on the offensive immediately,

bed bug traps are available here.


Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a New York-based actor and writer. Originally hailing from Los Angeles, he received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese. Disney parks are his passion, and endless cups of coffee are a necessity. Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1