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Kansas Woman’s Phallic Christmas Light Display Didn’t Bring Holiday Cheer To Her Neighbors

CBS47 KSEE24/YouTube

Up on the housetop, you might pause after seeing this NSFW Christmas light display that is alarming residents in a Kansas neighborhood.

Turns out there’s nothing questionable about it.

A 60-foot string of lights festooning the sloped roof of Shelby Gash’s home is deliberately arranged to look like a penis.

Gash confirmed with FOX 4 what her creation is that is causing quite a stir.

“A giant glowing d**k.”

You can watch the FOX 4 news report in the YouTube clip, below.

Gash’s intentions were to lift everyone from the doldrums of stress and anxiety that can accompany the season.

“The neighborhood’s kind of, like, vibe’s kind of gone down ’cause everyone’s kind of uptight. So it’s more of a, kind of, orneriness.”

The 24-year-old resident in Lenexa, Kansas initially witnessed laughter after erecting the illuminated schmeckle.

“People think it’s hilarious. People are stopping in the middle of the night taking photos and laughing.”

And while it came upon a midnight clear, some of the residents in Whispering Hills didn’t find the holiday tallywacker very funny.

So last week, Gash apologized on Facebook:

“Sorry neighbors. I felt the need to make a giant dick on the roof ’tis the season!”

She posted the X-rated images along with her apology.

That there is no landing strip for Santa’s sleigh.

That is the dude pole.

Sorry neighbors..I felt the need to make a giant dick on the roof ‘tis the season!* UPDATE *** the news station is on my front lawn hahah

Posted by Shelby Lynn Gash on Thursday, December 5, 2019

When FOX 4 asked neighbors to identify the shape of lights, Marcelo Vergara said without a hint of irony:

“Well, it looks like a p***s. A giant lit up p***s.”

“Well it’s certainly a statement,” Vergara continued, stifling a chuckle.

“I don’t know to what but probably not appropriate for the neighborhood.”

Vergara’s wife added:

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if I would’ve driven. I probably would’ve wrecked my car. Laughing.”

That was what Gash was going for – sans car crash.

“People think it’s so much fun. I think there’s a lot more laughter than it’s bringing out anything uncomfortable.”

After being alerted to negative comments and how it could upset neighbors with children, Gash was forced to unplug and remove the naughty display.

The holiday clanger lasted four days.

“I wish people would come up to me if they’re really bothered by it.”

And while that penis was lit, all good things come to an end.

Marcelo said:

“I think that it’s probably not in the Christmas spirit. Now, we got it. Let’s move on.”

Other displays like this one managed to avoid the ruckus.

The Christmas wars are on.

Phallus Navidad.

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Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a New York-based actor and writer. Originally hailing from Los Angeles, he received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese. Disney parks are his passion, and endless cups of coffee are a necessity. Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1