After experiencing excruciating pain, a 33-year-old man from Ireland attempted to relieve himself from his severe back pain.
Apparently, injecting his semen into his arm seemed like a logical remedy.
No, really. That was his solution.
It wasn’t a good idea.
— Black Heroes Matter® (@BHMatter) January 16, 2019
According to a case study in the Irish Medical Journal (IMJ) titled – “‘Semenly’ Harmless Back Pain: An Unusual Presentation of Subcutaneous Abscess,” Petaling Jaya sought medical attention after suffering from chronic back pain after “lifting a heavy steel object three days prior.”
— Gizmodo (@Gizmodo) January 17, 2019
What began as a regular consultation for a common prognosis turned out to be unthinkable.
When the doctor noticed abnormal swelling on Jaya’s arm, the patient revealed he had been injecting semen into his arm to relieve the pain once a month for a year-and-a-half via a hypodermic needle he purchased online.
The bizarre treatment sounded auspicious.
But he shot and missed.
All signs pointed to medical breakthrough
— janedoeWalks (@janedoeWalks) January 17, 2019
— TDA (@Code_Conjurer) January 17, 2019
The semen entered his blood vessels and muscles, creating an abscess between the dermis and epidermis.
X-rays revealed Jaya had subcutaneous emphysema—a condition in which gas or air is trapped under a layer of skin—and he was infected with cellulitis.
And that's how babies are born. lol
— RJCS (@RJCS10) January 16, 2019
Dr. Lisa Dunne said that Jaya administered the injections without consulting a medical expert. It was the first reported case she was aware of where a man used semen for medical treatment.
To justify why a man would go to such inconceivable lengths to alleviate pain, the doctors performed an exhaustive search.
But they could not find anything similar to Jaya’s case, except for experimental cases from the 1940s in which researchers used lab rats.
“Although there is a report of the effects of subcutaneous semen injection into rats and rabbits, there were no cases of intravenous semen injection into humans found across the literature.”
“A search of more eclectic internet sites and forums found no other documentation of semen injection for back pain treatment or other uses.”
Yeah, I bet he did. pic.twitter.com/Y77Kr1pNRH
— Stephen Elliott (@LanceHandsome) January 16, 2019
“His situation did not improve after injecting the semen. But after spending a few nights in the hospital, it has relieved some of his pain.”
There may have been side effects.
But sadly now suffers from wrist pain.
— nojusticeincanada (@nojusticeincan) January 16, 2019
People could not wrap their head around the bizarre report and injected a dose of humor to mitigate the legitimate shock.
@joerogan trying to heal the world one load at a time
— Irish (@IrishGreatness) January 16, 2019
But was it his own semen? Or Superman’s?
— True Blue (@True___Blue) January 17, 2019
He should be a 1:1 for spermicidal ideation.
I’ll see myself out.
— thegreatchuckbambino (@ChuckMastan) January 17, 2019
A different kind of nut allergy.
— Michael Sicinski (@msicism) January 17, 2019
everyone loves a good comeback story
— ”shaun” in the group chat (@thickjeans) January 16, 2019
Fads like these, they come and go….
— Reubixd (@Reubixd) January 16, 2019
Back pain cured. Now suffering brain damage pic.twitter.com/QzPadVr4Fi
— Jay (@jay025981) January 18, 2019
I did that to my wife and you wouldn't believe what it did for her back. Her toes now throw up gang signs.
— Packet Wrench (@packetwrench) January 17, 2019
I’ll stick with Advil @AdvilRelief
— AB (@BufSportsCritic) January 16, 2019
It turns out the distance between pain and pleasure is much closer than you think.