A 52-year-old man was charged with voyeurism in a bizarre incident involving jam, maple syrup and masturbation.
During a shift at a client’s residence, landscape gardener Robert Somley told his female coworker that he needed to take a break after loading some wood into a trailer.
When he did not return after 20 minutes, she went to check on him and discovered Somley standing naked inside the home and pleasuring himself while watching porn on a laptop, according to the Connecticut Post.
Here's a story about a couple of landscapers, maple syrup, blueberry jelly... and a voyeurism charge. https://t.co/1zKsS5corq— WFSB Channel 3 (@WFSBnews) December 5, 2018
Instead of being repulsed by Somley’s intimate distraction from his work duties, however, the 48-year-old woman brushed off the incident and casually resumed with her tasks.
Later, she went back to check on her lascivious coworker and found that things escalated to another level.
She witnessed Somley drenching his naked body in maple syrup. As luck would have it, the woman found herself becoming aroused and later confessed to police that what she saw was a “turn on.”
That’s not what “tapping” for maple syrup means! 🤦🏻♂️— Joe Chille (@JoeChille) December 8, 2018
Her intrigue became a slippery slope when she demanded to join him in his sticky, erotic endeavor.
Somley welcomed the company.
The only thing missing is a picture of this guy covered in maple syrup & blueberry jelly, smearing his sweet goods over his customers furniture!— Leaaaa (@Mdazzaland) December 4, 2018
The couple allegedly used blueberry jam as a part of their foreplay before engaging in some syrupy sex.
But things did not remain blissful after their romp as human pancakes.
Unfortunately for the woman, Somley video taped the entire incident without her consent and when she demanded Somley delete the footage, he refused.
So she called the police.
Authorities later seized his smartphone with a search warrant and found the incriminating video evidence of the couple’s sticky situation.
The jokes were rampant on Twitter.
“Let go of my eggo” was said to be heard on the video. By which participant, the police are uncertain.— Mike Henderson (@mhenderson33) December 7, 2018
A landscaper working at a home in Connecticut took a break by watching #porn, smearing himself in maple syrup, & secretly recorded himself having sex with a female co-worker. So I guess he’s fertilizing more than the lawn?— Alan Boccadoro (@bocc1_) December 5, 2018
Everyone wants to know where the home owners were during this & if they had to hire a cleaner? You write the best articles.— Leaaaa (@Mdazzaland) December 4, 2018
One user found an element in the story legitimately objectionable.
Maple syrup? Thats not a lubricant. I mean hell I love pancakes but not enough to have sex with them! Ewwwwww! https://t.co/PskxWWtNZR— CHRIS VOSS (@CHRISVOSS) December 5, 2018
Somley told police he wanted to relieve himself from what must have been a hard day at work.
He was arrested and charged with voyeurism and was later released from custody after posting a $50,000 bond.
Breakfast condiments may never be regarded in the same way again.